One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.
⇗⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇖
Don’t drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇖Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic’s best friend !!!!
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
I stopped drinking, but only when I sleep.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Cocaine is gods way of telling you that you make too much money.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of getting drunk.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine, except that on a day without sunshine you can still get drunk.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
There is a devil in every berry of the grape.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
I like whiskey. I always did, and that is why I never drink it.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇎Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇫This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Alcohol removes inhibitions – like that scared little mouse who got drunk and shook his whiskers and shouted: “Now bring on that damn cat!
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Ah, beer, my one weakness. My achilles heel, if you will.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Drunkenness is simply voluntary insanity.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Candy Is dandy, But liquor Is quicker.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇙The problem with some people is that when they aren’t drunk they’re sober.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇬In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol and it was the worst 20 minutes of my life.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
A man that lives in alcohol, will die from alcohol too.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Alcohol is like love. The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl’s clothes off.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇏When the wine goes in, strange things come out.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇙They speak of my drinking, but never think of my thirst.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇙I am not a heavy drinker. I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way, and to be able to blame it on alcohol.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇙I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim, and now I am overwhelmed by this decent and good feeling.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇙Wine is as good as life to a man, if it be drunk moderately: what life is then to a man that is without wine? for it was made t⇚o make men glad.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic’s best friend!
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
They reckon that beer contains female hormones and I think they are right. After a few too many I talk shit and can’t drive!
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
I drink therefore I am.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇙I would rather commit adultery than drink a glass of beer.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life’s problems.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Wine is bottled poetry.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
When the wine is in, the wit is out.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
I envy people who drink – at least they know what to blame everything on.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Drinking and driving mix only when you’re mixed up.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Beer. Now there’s a temporary solution.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇚I never turned to drink. It seemed to turn to me.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇙Not one man in a beer commercial has a beer belly.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇚Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇚Alcohol is a good preservative for everything but brains.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Beer is the cause and solution to all of life’s problems.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
A drinker has a hole under his nose that all his money runs into.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘The intermediate stage between socialism and capitalism is alcoholism.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘I know I’m drinking myself to a slow death, but then I’m in no hurry.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇗I only take a drink on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇚I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go for a week without a drink.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Alcoholism isn’t a spectator sport. Eventually the whole family gets to play.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘Wine gives a man nothing it only puts in motion what had been locked up in frost.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇗A man hath no better thing under the sun, than to eat, and to drink, and to be merry.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘If you keep on drinking rum, the world will soon be quit of a very dirty scoundrel.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars – the rest I just squandered.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘I like liquor – its taste and its effects – and that is just the reason why I never drink it.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘When I die I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Ireland.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘The difference between a drunk and a alcoholic is that a drunk doesn’t have to attend all those meetings⇘
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘I have made an important discovery…that alcohol,taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Here’s to a long life and a merry one A quick death and an easy one A pretty girl and an honest one A cold beer and another one!
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘This beer is good for you. This is draft beer. Stick with the beer. Let’s go and beat this guy up and come back and drink some more beer.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Champagne is the only wine a woman can drink and still remain beautiful.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
They who drink beer will think beer.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘I drink to make other people interesting.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘I’m not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘Ah, good ol’ trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Drunkenness is temporary suicide.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇙Wine hath drowned more men than the sea.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘So much the worse for those who fear wine, for it is because they have some bad thoughts which they are afraid the liquor will extract from their hearts.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘Everyone knows that drunkards and lovers have a protecting diety.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇗People who don’t drink are afraid of revealing themselves.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇎He that drinks fast pays slow.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
↷Of all meat in the world drink goes down the best.
⇗⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇖
Don’t drink and drive, you might hit a bump and spill your drink.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇖Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic’s best friend !!!!
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
I stopped drinking, but only when I sleep.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Cocaine is gods way of telling you that you make too much money.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
A man who exposes himself when he is intoxicated, has not the art of getting drunk.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine, except that on a day without sunshine you can still get drunk.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
There is a devil in every berry of the grape.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
I like whiskey. I always did, and that is why I never drink it.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇎Alcohol may be man’s worst enemy, but the bible says love your enemy.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇫This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
I feel sorry for people who don’t drink. When they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Alcohol removes inhibitions – like that scared little mouse who got drunk and shook his whiskers and shouted: “Now bring on that damn cat!
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Ah, beer, my one weakness. My achilles heel, if you will.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Drunkenness is simply voluntary insanity.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Candy Is dandy, But liquor Is quicker.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇙The problem with some people is that when they aren’t drunk they’re sober.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇬In 1969 I gave up women and alcohol and it was the worst 20 minutes of my life.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
People who drink to drown their sorrow should be told that sorrow knows how to swim.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar, and fat.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
A man that lives in alcohol, will die from alcohol too.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Alcohol is like love. The first kiss is magic, the second is intimate, the third is routine. After that you take the girl’s clothes off.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇏When the wine goes in, strange things come out.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇙They speak of my drinking, but never think of my thirst.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇙I am not a heavy drinker. I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
First you take a drink, then the drink takes a drink, then the drink takes you.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
The chief reason for drinking is the desire to behave in a certain way, and to be able to blame it on alcohol.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
It takes only one drink to get me drunk. The trouble is, I can’t remember if it’s the thirteenth or the fourteenth.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇙I tried to drown my sorrows, but the bastards learned how to swim, and now I am overwhelmed by this decent and good feeling.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇙Wine is as good as life to a man, if it be drunk moderately: what life is then to a man that is without wine? for it was made t⇚o make men glad.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Cigarettes and coffee: an alcoholic’s best friend!
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
They reckon that beer contains female hormones and I think they are right. After a few too many I talk shit and can’t drive!
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
I drink therefore I am.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇙I would rather commit adultery than drink a glass of beer.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Alcohol is the cause and the solution to many of life’s problems.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Wine is bottled poetry.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
When the wine is in, the wit is out.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Work is the curse of the drinking classes.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Herb is the healing of a nation, alcohol is the destruction.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Here’s to alcohol: the cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
I envy people who drink – at least they know what to blame everything on.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Drinking and driving mix only when you’re mixed up.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Beer. Now there’s a temporary solution.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇚I never turned to drink. It seemed to turn to me.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇙Not one man in a beer commercial has a beer belly.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇚Reality is an illusion created by a lack of alcohol.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇚Alcohol is a good preservative for everything but brains.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Beer is the cause and solution to all of life’s problems.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
A drinker has a hole under his nose that all his money runs into.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘The intermediate stage between socialism and capitalism is alcoholism.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘I know I’m drinking myself to a slow death, but then I’m in no hurry.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇗I only take a drink on two occasions – when I’m thirsty and when I’m not.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇚I distrust camels, and anyone else who can go for a week without a drink.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Alcoholism isn’t a spectator sport. Eventually the whole family gets to play.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘Wine gives a man nothing it only puts in motion what had been locked up in frost.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇗A man hath no better thing under the sun, than to eat, and to drink, and to be merry.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘This is one of the disadvantages of wine: it makes a man mistake words for thought.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘If you keep on drinking rum, the world will soon be quit of a very dirty scoundrel.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars – the rest I just squandered.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘Even though a number of people have tried, no one has yet found a way to drink for a living.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘I like liquor – its taste and its effects – and that is just the reason why I never drink it.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘When I die I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Ireland.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘The difference between a drunk and a alcoholic is that a drunk doesn’t have to attend all those meetings⇘
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘I have made an important discovery…that alcohol,taken in sufficient quantities, produces all the effects of intoxication.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Here’s to a long life and a merry one A quick death and an easy one A pretty girl and an honest one A cold beer and another one!
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘This beer is good for you. This is draft beer. Stick with the beer. Let’s go and beat this guy up and come back and drink some more beer.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Champagne is the only wine a woman can drink and still remain beautiful.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
They who drink beer will think beer.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘I drink to make other people interesting.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘I’m not a heavy drinker, I can sometimes go for hours without touching a drop.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘One reason I don’t drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘Ah, good ol’ trustworthy beer. My love for you will never die.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
Drunkenness is temporary suicide.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇙Wine hath drowned more men than the sea.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘So much the worse for those who fear wine, for it is because they have some bad thoughts which they are afraid the liquor will extract from their hearts.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇘Everyone knows that drunkards and lovers have a protecting diety.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇗People who don’t drink are afraid of revealing themselves.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
⇎He that drinks fast pays slow.
⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝⇝
↷Of all meat in the world drink goes down the best.
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