Misc SMS JokesText Messages2017

Golden Rule:-
'To be happy with a man,
love him little and understand him a lot.

To be happy with a woman,
love her a LOT and DO NOT TRY to understand her :)"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A musician must make music,
an artist must paint,
a poet must write,
if he is to be at peace with himself.
What a man can be, he must be.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

5 frogs were sitting on a wall
4 decided to jump off.
How many left now??

still 5.

because Theres a lot of difference between
Deciding and doing


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sardar & his wife were waiting for train
itne main KHYBER MAIL aa gaye
Sardar bhag k train mein charha
or
apni wife se bola
jab khyber female aye to tum bhi ajana


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In this world everybody makes mistakes...
But
Only girlfriend, wife n boss have
the gifted talent of finding them,
remembering them n reminding them


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two Tigers Were Resting Under A Tree..
Suddenly A RABBIT Passed Very Fast
Tiger Could Not Make Out & Asked
"What Was That?"

2nd Tiger Smiled And Said:
.
.
.
Fast Food :p


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
******************
******************
******************

******THE END******

You have just watched my new film
"Taare mobile per"



I never forget my sincere friends
when i see some faults in them
i keep patient & just realize that
.
.
.
.
"ab har koi meri terha perfect
tou nahi ho sakta na" ;)


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why do girls look beautiful?
is it real or due to make up?

all false

Girls look beautiful because (more…)


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tell someone you love them today,
because life is short.

But

Shout it at them in German,
because life is also terrifying and confusing


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wife: Why Arent You Taking Me With You To Bangkok?
Husband: Because Nobody Carries A Tiffin To A Restaurant.

"If U Didn't Get It Go Watch Pogo":p


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I love hearing rumors about myself,
most of the time, its stuff I didn't
even know about myself.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Women are like fruits
Every woman has her own unique taste & color
The problem is the men
They seem to love fruit salad


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tring Tring Tring.

Sardar: Hello kon bol raha hai?
Other side: Ji, main bol raha hon.
Sardar: oye ye to kamal ho gia,
idhar se bhi main hi bol raha hon.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Girlfriend giving house directions 2 her boyfriend

"Come to the front gate of my apartment where you drop me,
Look for flat 9a,
you will find a lift on ur right.
Hit 9 with ur elbow,
Get out of the lift u will find my flat on left....
Hit the doorbell with your elbow & i will get the door 4u"

boyfriend says- dear that seems easy
but why m i hitting buttons with my elbows?
Girlfriend:oh! Sorry, that mean you coming empty handed?



Boy: "ILY" ...

Girl: "Awwww... I Love You Too, FOREVER..." ...
.
.
.
Boy: "I Said, 'I'm Leaving You"


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Husband to a newly wed wife!
I could go to the end of the world for you
Wife:Thanks,but promise me
you will stay there for the rest of your life.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Innocent Line written On T-shirt of A Student..
>
>
'Student are not Cheaters
we just really enjoy having the Same answers..' ;-) B-)


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Your Ex-GirlFriend Asking
If U Can Still Be Friends After A Break-Up..
.
.
.
It Is Like..
.
.
.
A Kidnapper Telling U To Keep In Touch.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Attitude Of Youth :)

"We Are More Brilliant Than Einstein And Newton..
.
.
.
.
It's Just They Didn't Leave Anything For Us To Invent":p


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Height of over love
A boy doesn't chat with his girlfriend because
He feels that her hand
Might pain while typing the text.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: If marriages are made in heaven,
than what are made in Hell?

Answer: The days after marriage!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Question: What Is Will-Power?
Ans: It's When You See 10 Notification,
20 msg
& 30 Friend Reqeust on facebook,
And Still You Click
.
LOGOUT


M Ali Jinnah = Qaid-e-Azam
Liaqut Ali = Qaid-e-Millat
Fatima Jinnah = Madar-e-Millat
Pervez Musharraf = Qaid-e-Qillat :p


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Don't stand too much in front of MIRROR.
Even da Mirror will fall in Love wid U
Coz
U r so Cute & Dashing..

4
more
JOKES
recharge Rs 30/- on my number;-)


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Judge: How can you prove
you were not speeding your car?

Man: Sir, I was on the way to
bring back my wife from her mother's home!

Judge: that's all, case dismissed :p


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If u like my SMS,
it means I'm smart

If you save,
U agree I'm smart

If u forward,
U spread that I'm smart

&

If u delete,
u r jealous, because I'm smart.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Maths Teacher Was Teaching
Mathematical Conversions

Teacher-If
1000 Kgs= Ton.
Then

For 3000 Kgs
=How Much?

Santa-
Ton!Ton!Ton!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
?6 year old boy : I love you mom !!!

Mom : awww..! I love you too!
.
.
.
.
17 year old boy : I love you mom!

Mom : sorry, I have no money!!! :d


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear diet,
It's not me, It's you
I just don't think its going to work between us,
You are boring, tasteless
&
I can't stop cheating on you


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lawyer: What was the first thing your husband
said to you when he woke that morning
Witness: He said, Where am I, Cathy

Lawyer: And why did that upset you
Witness: My name is Susan.


Gf : Am I Pretty Or Ugly?
.
.
Bf : You Are Both
.
.
Gf : What Do Yu Mean Both ?
.
.
.
Bf : You Are Pretty Ugly


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Three Skeletons Talking ..

1st Skeleton : I M The Most Skinny Looking Skeleton In The World .
2nd Skeleton : No I M The Thinnest Skeleton In The World .
3rd Skeleton : Errr... I Think You Haven't Heard About Sara ;-)

Skeleton Shocked :-p
Humsafar Rocked


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Prefer Texting Over
Phone Calls
Because
It Gives Me More Time
To Think About What To Say:)


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Rabbit Runs,Jumps
& Lives Only For 15 yrs.

While a Turtle Doesn't Run
Does Nothing.
Yet lives for 300 yrs.

Moral:
Exercise Is Hell Just Sleep Well..;)
Good Night :-)


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dedicated To All Girls With High Attitude

.
.
.
.
.
.

Sweety ! Don't Be Proud
If Every Boy Wants You..!

Always Remember,
Cheap Items Have Too Many Buyers


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A last minute SIX
.
.
.
A last minute GOAL
.
.
.
.
A last minute MOVE
.
.
.
.
often wins the GAME!
.
.
.
.
That's why we are still confident that...
.
.
.
.
"A Last-Night Study can win an EXAM" !


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We Have Solution For All The Problems
.
.
.
.
.
When They R Not Ours:p



A last minute SIX
.
.
.
A last minute GOAL
.
.
.
.
A last minute MOVE
.
.
.
.
often wins the GAME!
.
.
.
.
That's why we are still confident that...
.
.
.
.
"A Last-Night Study can win an EXAM" !


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We Have Solution For All The Problems
.
.
.
.
.
When They R Not Ours:p


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boy: your teeth are like the stars

Girl: awww ... Thanks
Are they that much pretty ?

Boy: no, far away from each other.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If Class Is Not A Place To Sleep..
.
.
.
Then Home Is Not A Place To Study.

A Student Service Msg...!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Man was sent on Earth to "suffer",
&
Woman was sent to " ensure that it happens"
Dr. Sarfraz Ahmed (Arizona 1904)


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How to settle abroad?

For Boys:
Study hard
Get good grades
Appear in ielts n toefl
Apply for student visa
Wait for the call
Appear in the interview
Get admission in a university
Get good grades
Search for a job
Work hard, earn well to settle

For Girls:
Marry this guy


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wife called her husband
Wife: honey where are you?
Husband: I'm at the bank.
Wife: dear, please I need 3000 rupees to activate my blackberry,
5000 to do my hair and
10,000 to buy a dress.
Husband: sorry, I meant I was at the "bank" of a river.
Do you want fish to cook?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Explain the word "Automatically"
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
nahin pata?

OK ok I will explain

agar koi ganji larki rakshay main
baithi ho to us ko kehte hain
"Auto_me_takli"



Dear Technology,

Its 2017 and we still don’t
have a perfume/body-spray
that smells nice and repels
mosquitoes.

I am really disappointed :-(


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This Is How Fashion Freaks
Learn Alphabets Today:

A For Armani
B - Burberry
C - Chanel
D - Dior
E - Escada
F - Fendi
G - Gucci
H - Hermes
I - Iceberg
J - Jimmy Choo
K - Karl Lagerfeld
L - Louis Vuitton
M - Manolo Blahnik
N - Nina Ricci
O - Oscar De La Renta
P - Prada
Q - Mcqueen
R - Ralph Lauren
S -Salvatore Ferragamo
T - Tods
U - Ungaro
V - Versace
W - Wolfgang Joop
X - 2-Xist
Y - Yves Saint Laurent
Z - Zara


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By expecting a negative answer,
Girlfriend ask "Have u ever cheated, lie, broken promise?"

To satisfy his girl,
the boy reply a negative answer:
"Nothing of these, I haven't done."


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boy : Would You Like To Be The Sun Of My Life ?
Girl : Awwww ... Yes !
Boy : Then Stay 9,995,887.6 Miles Away From Me :P


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A girl wearing a very short skirt visited her boyfriend.
Boyfriend:Will your mum not say anything about your dress?
Girl:She will be very angry with me because I'm wearing her skirt.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Men are like bank accounts.
Without a lot of money
they don't generate
a lot of interest.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The most unfulfilled desire
Of all science students is
A bomb should have
Fallen instead of
An apple on newton!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Best Way To Live In ''KARACHI'' With Peace!
-
I m 'Pathan',
My Name Is 'Altaf',
I Speak 'Sindhi'
And
Live In 'Baloch Colony'
With My 'Punjabi' Family


Side effect of excess study :p
A Guy Went To A Restaurant,
He Wanted To See The Menu
But He Forgot WhAt It Is Called;

He Asked Waiter,
"Syllabus Lana Zara":-P


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Girl's silence is dangerous.

They're either :
---> about to blow up
---> need a hug
---> falling apart
---> crying inside

Or all of the above.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Doctor:Madam, your husband needs rest
and pease so here are some sleeping pills.

Wife: Doc, when should I give them to him?
Doctor:They are for you.!!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You And Your Feelings
Are Important To Your
Friends
Till
They Are Single


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Height Of Bravery For Girls in 2017
.
.
.
.
.
.
Moving Out Of House
Without Make-Up :P


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Marry Someone Who Can COOK
LOVE Fades,
HUNGER Doesn’t

:-P


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
R u m o r s
Are Carried By
H a t e r s ,

Spread By
F o o l s

And

Accepted By
I d i o t s ... !


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Most Expensive Way
To Sleep With A Woman Is..
.
.
.
Marriage!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Some one asked about my past
I replied -
SCHOOL: 2 + 2 = 4.
HOMEWORK: 2 + 4 + 2 = 8.

EXAM:
Juan has 4 apples,
His train is 7 minutes early,
Calculate the suns mass :D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Attitude reloaded... ;-)

GIRL: I hate you... :-l
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
BOY: What a co_incidence :-D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Man was sent on Earth to "suffer",
&
Woman was sent to " ensure that it
happens"
Dr. Sarfraz Ahmed (Arizona 1904)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Attention plz...!

Don't drink unboiled water..

Because..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

.
Fish live in water without pampers..
Seriously..!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GIRLS STUPIDITY!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
They wont even give their phone no.
even to a KNOWN person
.
But they give all their PRIVATE details
to an UNKNOWN TAILOR :p

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Did You Know . . .?
That
"HEELS" Are Man's Invention
.
.
.
.
.
.
To Make It Harder For A
Woman To Run Away. ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By A Non-Vegetarian :

"Vegetarians Are Cruel
People, They Kill Helpless
Plants,
We Atleast Have Decency
To Kill The Chicken Who
Can Run For Its Life"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Read each word Reversely:

A'
suomaF
rotcoD
dloT
eM
tahT
ylnO
latneM
stneitaP
evaH
ehT
tnelaT
oT
daeR
$M$
revenehW
stI
nettirW
'...ylesreveR


A Wife Treats Hubby By Taking
Him To A Lap Dance Club For His Birthday ..

At The Club:
Doorman Says: Hi Jim How R You?

Wife Asks: How Does He Know You?
Jim Says: Oh Dear, I Play Football With Him

Inside Barman Says: The Usual Jim ?
Jim Says To Wife: Before You Say Anything , He's On The Darts Team
In My Local

Next A Lap Dancer Says: Hi Jim
Do You Crave Special Again ?

The Wife Storms Out Dragging Jim With Her & Jumps Into A Taxi..

Driver Says "Hey Jimmy Boy ,
You Picked Up An Ugly One This Time.."

Jim's Funeral Is On Sunday

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The most "hungry + sad" moment
.
.
.
When you're sitting in the examination hall,
feeling hungry
&
then the invigilator is served
hot "tea with samosas".


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How To Teach Girl Dance In Just 5 Sec??
.
.
.
.
.
Throw A Cockroach On Her =D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cool Msg by a woman-
Dear Mother-in-law,
"Don't Teach me how 2 handle my children,
I'm living with one of yours
&
he needs a lot of improvement" ;)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I Hadn't Realized
Until Facebook
That
Most Of My Friends Are
Farmers, Gangsters 0r Cooks

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The man told his doctor that he wasn't able to do
All the things around the House that he used to do.
When the examination was Complete,
He said: "now, doc, i can take It.
Tell me in plain english what is wrong with me."

"Well, in plain english,"
The doctor replied, "you're just lazy "

"okay," said the man.
"now give me the medical term so i can tell my wife"



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Best Slogan Written
0n The Toilet Wall ...

"Treat Me Well And
Keep Me Clean,
I'll Not Tell Anyone,
What I Have Seen ..."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
80% Of The Final Exam Will Be Based On
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
The One Lecture You Missed
And
The One Topic You Didn't Read.



Chess says everything
about husband and wife.
The King has to take things one step at a time,
while the Queen can do whatever she wants.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Height of insult-
Girl msgs her bf..
jaan i can't live widout u..
Will u marry me???
reply cums..
Whos dis?
I lost all my contacts.. :D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Agree With The Dictionary.

Boys Before Girls,

Partying Before Studying

&

Friends Before Love

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Positive-thinking poem:

Little bird in the sky
Droping shit into ur eye

U don't worry u don't cry,
U just thank God that,

Cows do not fly

Always b positive

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
6 truths of life:-
1. You cannot touch all of your teeth with your tongue.
2. All idiots, after reading the first truth, try it.
3. The first truth is a lie.
4. You're smiling now, because you are an idiot.
5. You soon will forward this to another idiot.
6. There's still a stupid smile on your face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When a married man says- "I'll think about it",

What he really means that,
He doesn't know his wife's opinion yet.. :-P
Lolz

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Boy. Kitchen Has 'He' In It.

So MOVE & Go Make ME A Sandwich.

Sincerely,

Girls. =P

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Your pain may give laugh to somebody
bt
your Laugh should nt give pain to anybody.


It is said that Husband is the head of the family,
But
Remember that wife is the Neck of the family.
& the Neck can turn the Head exactly the way she wants. :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If men behave after marriage the way they do before it,
half the divorces won't take place..

On the other hand,

If women behave before marriage the way they do after it,
half the marriages won't take place ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Words Written Above A Classroom ClockThis Clock Will Never Be Stolen,
Coz Too Many Students Are Watching It..!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"We believe Goodluck will
do Someday,Something 4 us..
bt
We dnt knw Goodluck is also Waiting
tht we do Something,Someday"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After Our Last Argument,
I Told My Girlfriend,

"I Hope Your Next Boyfriend
Appreciates The Improvements
I've Made In You:P"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Irony 0f Our Society

Our Phones Fall,
We Panic.

Our Friends Fall,
We Laugh.

Isn't It So Damn Weird ? ? ?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LOVE YOUR HUSBAND

When he orders you to make tea or coffee.
He wants to feel fresh to listen to your nostop talks.

Love him if he looks at all the beautiful females.
He is just checking that you are still the best.

Love him if he criticize your cooking.
He is still improving his taste.

Love him if he snores at night and disturbs your sleep.
He is trying to prove that he is the most relaxed person after being married to you.

Love him if forgets to give you a gift on your birthday.
He is saving money for future.

Love him Because...
You don't have a Choice...
and killing is a legal offense

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Facebook Skype:

Now Married People Can
Cheat Via Skype
While Watering Their Crops
0n FarmVille .. =D



Funny Truth-

No one is as ugly as their driving license/ identity card picture,

nor as good-looking as their facebook profile pic..! :D ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I askd4Stone,u gv me statue
I askd4Leaf,u gv me flwer
I askd hanky2wipe my tears,u gv me ur hand
Tell me the truth, are you deaf?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Biggest Internet Lie
that we have all told at least once
.
.
.
.
.
"I have Read & I agree to the Terms & conditions.." :-P :-D Lolzz

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Marwadi wins lottery
Pandit tels him 2 offer a share 2 God
He throws the money up in d air,
saying~God take all u want.I'l tak watever falls

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"If exposure of Body is Modernisation...,

Then Animals are more Modern than Humans....!!!" :D ;) :P

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman went shopping, At cash counter she opened her purse to pay.
The cashier noticed a TV remote in her purse.
He cud'nt control his curiosity n asked
"Do u always carry ur TV remote with u?"
She replied " No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me for shopping today..

The story continues....

The shopkeeper laughs and takes back all the items that lady had purchased.
Shocked at this act, she asks the shopkeeper what is he doing.
He said your husband has blocked your credit card.
MORAL : Respect the hobbies of your husband.

Story continues....

Wife took out his husbands credit card from purse
and uses it to clear all the bills.
Unfortunately he didn't block his own card.
Moral:...... Dont underestimate the power of a WIFE.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Old man walking on the street,
sees a child trying 2 reach a door bell.
Old man goes to the door,
rings the bell & says: what else?

Child:Uncle ab bhagoo!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"True love comes only 1 time with 1 person.

If it comes for the second time,
it is just a medicine to forget the first love.


Fabulous lines on a Traffic signal :)

"LEFT is always open for those
who dont want to go RIGHT."

"Means RIGHT always have OBSTACLEss".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
True saying....
Women never dress up to impress man,

She dress up to irritate other women.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Fact of Life...

Only 1% of the girls
become wife of their lovers,
the remaining become
passwords on the computer! :-)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Every tear is a Sign of
.
.
.
.
Cutting Onions!

Every Silnce is a Sign of
.
.
.
.
.
Zero balance!

Every Smile is a Sign of
.
.
.
.
Daily Brushing!
.
.
.
.
.
Life is so Simple
Dont make it Complex with difficult Explanations

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~)
TAJ MAHAL the symbol of love..
but the other lesser known facts:

1) Mumtaz was shahjahans 4th wife out of his 7 wives.
2) Shahjahan killed mumtaz's husband to marry her.
3) Mumtaz died in her 14th delivery.
4) He then married mumtaz's sister.

Question arises.. Where the HELL Is LOVE???

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Husband : I found Aladin's lamp today. :P
.
Wife : wow, what did u ask for darling ?? :D
.
.
Husband : I asked him to increase your brain ten times..
.
Wife : oh..darling..luv u so much.. :-*
.
Did he do that ??
.
Husband : He laughed and said multiplication doesn't apply on zero. :P :P

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Medical Question:

Q. Define Love And Describe In Detail.

Ans. A Serious Disorder Of Heart Due To Relationship Between Men And Women That Can Sometime Cause Death Of 1 Or Both Depending On The Resistance Associated.

Types:
1 Way
And 2 Way.

Age:
Usualy Occurs In Puberty Bt Nowdays It Can B Found In Any Age Group.

Sites Affected:
Brain And Heart

Risk Factors:
- Teenagers
- Boys Without Sisters
- Girls Without Brothers

Etiology:
- Time Pass
- Desired To Be Loved
- Money And Beauty

Symptoms:
- Tension
- Daydream
- Tachycardia
- Insomnia
- Phone Addict
- No Concentration

Investigation:
- Diary
- Album
- Books
- Mobile (Most Confirmatory)

Treatment:
Anti Therapy By Father, Or Brother Or Mom's Chappal. ;->

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Paksitani Boy Got Admission In An American School.
Teacher : Whats Your Name ?
Boy : Ahmad
Teacher : No, Now You R In America Your Name Is Johny From Today.

Boy Went Home. Mom Asked:
How Was The Day Ahmad.
Boy : Im An American Now Call Me Johnny.

Mom & Dad Both Got Offended And Beat Him Up.

Next Day He Was Back To School, All Bruised.

Teacher :What Happend Johnny?

Boy : Ma'am, Just 4 Hours After I Became American, I Was Attacked By Two Pakistanis!



Once james bond met a dog in jungle

he said,"I am bond.!! JAMES BOND..!!"

The dog bites him & replies,"I am KUTtA..!!!"
"PAGAL KUTTA...!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meaning of Pakistan in 2008
P = Petrol 68.89
A = Aata 26 rs kg
K = Khudkash hamle
I = Ilm ki Kami
S = Sarko Pe Pani
T = Traffic Jam
A = Awam Pareshan
N = No Electricity
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Description of SMS
.
.
.
S:Salaa
M:Muft da
S:Siyapa
.
.
.
Je na karo,te kanjoos..!
.
.
..
Je karo, te wely..!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My Msg 2 da wrld!

If u like me,
raise your hands

.. if not,

then raise your standards!!


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Message of the year:-
Women live a better, longer & peaceful life..!!
Why? Very simple...
A woman does not have a wife..!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A father asks peon:
How are the studies in this college?
Where do I see my son in future?

Peon: The future is bright,
I had also completed my engineering
from the same college!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Judge mujrim se btao tumhari akhari khwaish kya hai???
Mujrim ek mobile nokia n81,
5 carore rupay,
Apki beti se shadi,
Usa ka viza,
2 sal ka honeymoon,
7 8 bachay jo apko nana nana kahe aur mujhe papa,
Un ki shadi karwo dun us k bad ap jo faisla kregye mujhe manzor hoga.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Love story!
A mosquito & hen fell in love wid each other.
1 day they kissed each other
Hen died of dengue
&
Mosquito died of bird flu

Moral: Sachi mohabbat:



Want to surprise your girlfriend?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Introduce her to your wife :p

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A famous inspirational speaker said:
"Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn't my wife"
Audience was in shock and silence..
He added: "she was my mother"
A big round of applause & laughter!

A very daring husbnd tried to crack this at home
After a dinner, he said loudly to his wife in the kitchen:
"Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn't my wife"
standing for a moment, trying to recall the second line of that speaker

by the time he gained his senses,
he was on a hospital bed,
recovering from burns of boiling water!

Moral: don't copy if u can't paste!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Life is just a fun,
It passes like none.

life we pass is just a game,
It finishes like a flame.

Life may be passed or made
Life may be happy or sad.

Life is knife for sad people,
It is a pretty world for mad people

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Asian man will have a wife and a girlfriend
and will love his wife more.

A black man will have 2 wives and 5 girlfriends
and will love his 1st wife more.

A white man will have 1 wife and 3 girlfriends
and will love his girlfriends more.

An pakistani man will have 1 wife and 4 girlfriends
and he still loves his mummy more.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

In newyork, a man was watching a movie at home
and suddenly shouts nooooooooo
Don't go inside the church its a trap!!

Wife: what are u watching?

Man: our wedding DVD :p

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The best feature of iPhone 6 is
that if you hold it upside down
it becomes iPhone 9.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Change can't be given to you every time,
You Must Bring the Change"
Great lines said by
.
.
.
.
Mr. Gul Khan, Bus Conductor.
(Now read once again).:-D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you were my husband,
I would poison your coffee

If you were my wife
I would drink it.



Men r very Kind & Women r very mean!
"PROOF" Most women dont like to help unknown men
But
All men r ready 2 help unknown females.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Do u know the meaning of Thanks?
It means..
T-ten
H-hugs
A-and
N-nine
Ks-kisses

thats why girls always says
Thanks to boys And boys say..
its my pleasure :-)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Banany wale ne ek DOST mere lia banaya hy,
Jise aap k roop mein mainey paaya hay,

Jo mere dil main aise samaya hy,
Jaise purani haeli main "BHOOT" ka saaya hay

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In the holy month of Ramadan,
Stop using caller tune / songs

Zong: Write "UNR", send to 230
Telenor: Write "UNSUB", send to 230
Mobilink: Write "UNSUB", send to 230
ufone: Write "UNSUB", send to 666
Warid: Write "RBT OFF", send to 7171

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meray Allah larai se bachana mujh ko,
Aur sikha day koi banduk chalana mujhko!

Khair se laut k ayain meray abbu ghar main
Urr na jain woh dhamakay sai kahin daftar main !

Raat din jaam traffic na rahay sarkon per
Koi nala na gatar bhar kar bahay sarkon per!

Qalma gawaion ko musalman banaday yarab
Naik aur saheb-e-iman banaday yarab !

Naam-e-Islam ki hurmat ko bachalay yarab
Waqt kai sarazy yazidon ko uthalay yarab

Lub pai aati hai dua ban kay tamanna meri

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's a magic:-

1 glass thanda pani lain aur
usay apne braber baithay
shakhs per dal dein
ye "Thanda pani"
usay
"garam" ker dega
Try it on ur own risk:p

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Easiest ways to Die,

1.Have a cigerrate daily
U'll die 10 years early

2.Have drink daily,
U'll die 30 years early

3.Love some1 truely
U'll die daily.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Lady to Doctor:
My husband has d habit of talking in sleep! wat shud i giv him to cure?
Dr: Give him an Opportunity to speak wen hez awake



1 larki ki dua

Kasam se her larkay ko bhula dungi,
Sab hi ki tasveerain jala dungi,

Ek tum hi raho gay is dil main,
Balance dalwa do tumhe dua dungi,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lab pai aati hai dua ban k tamanna meri,
zindagi bomb sai ho mehfoz khudaya meri!

Main jo daftar k liye ghar se nikal ker jaon,
Roz marrah ki tarha khair se wapas aaon!

Na koi bomb k dhamakay se uradaye mujh ko,
muft main jaam-e-shahadat na pila de mujh ko!

Jo urdaday mujhay khudkash to doain dunga,
bay wazu hokay chacha bush ko doain donga !

Biwi bachon ko meri jan ki qeemat mil jai,
bethay bethay meray ghar walon ko daulat mil jaye!

Hain jin logon se kal tak thee watan ki zenat,
aaj woh log hoay qabar-o-kafan ki zenat !

Ghar mera hogaya viranay ki soorut yarab,
Aur badli na kisi thanay ki soorat yaarab !

In pai jaiz hai zabardasti hukumat karna,
Aur hai jurm mujhey apne hifazat karna!

Rozi hum sub ki bacha roz ki hartalon sai
Jan aur maal ho mefoz police walon sai!

Jub na schol khulain gay to perhain gay kaisay,
Aur zinda na rahaingay to barhaingay kaisay !

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My past says u met me
My future says u will care 4 me
My present says u will understand me
But my heart says u will
Always Remember ME!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Life is like a novel. It is filled with suspense.
U have no idea what is going to happen
until U turn the page
Keep turning the pages & enjoy ur life

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Success Formula,

B sweet as honey
B regular as clock
B fresh as rose
B soft as tissue
B hard as rock
&
B sure as death

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Difference between Problem , Talent and Kismat

2 Boys love 1 Girl = PROBLEM!
1 Boy love 2 Girls = TALENT!
2 Girls love 1 Boy = KISMAT

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 fine morning in the middle of the night,
2 dead boys woke up to fight,

Back to back they faced each other,
Took out their swords & shot each other,

One deaf pliceman heard the noise &
Killed the 2 dead boys

Beleive this lie, it's really true,
Ask the blind beggar, he saw it too.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tum apun ko itna SMS karta hai,
Apun ko REPLY kerno ko majbor kerta hai,
Kia is k peechay koi PLAN hai,
Ya auron ki tarhan tum bhi apun ka FAN hai:p



You can't tap your back for a job well done.
You can't hug yourself for comfort.
You can't cry on your shoulders when tears fall.
That's why you have GOD in your life,
to let Him do whatever you can't.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
For a GIRL Who says,"All BOYS are the same"
should be asked;

Who told HER to try ALL OF THEM!!:-P

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Whats the similarity
between a successful Chartered Accountant & Miss Universe?
. . . . . . .
Both are very 'CONSCIOUS' about "FIGURES".....!!! :p :D

Coolest mom of the millenium
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (5 votes, average: 3.60 out of 5)
Coolest mom of the millenium:
Girl: mom, i want some fresh air.. Can i go for a walk?
Mom: yes, but tell your "fresh air" to drop you home by 9 pm..!! :-P
awara beti ki awara amma. . . :D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Awesome & meaningful Quotes by one & only Film Actress MEERA:->

-Don't talk in front of my back.

-Both of U 3 get out of my room.

-Open the window, let the environment come in.

-I have 2 sisters both are girls.

-All of U stand in a straight circle.

-Give me a red pen of any colour.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A snake has its poison in its teeth..

A dog in its tongue..

A scorpio in its tale..

Its only the human who have poison in their hearts..!

Strange but true!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
GOOD OLD DAYS
When I was a child, my mother would send me down to the corner store with a 10 Rs, and I'd come back with
five Kgs of potatoes,
two loaves of bread,
three packs of juices,
packets of chocolates & candies

You can't do that now.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Too many damn security cameras!!";-)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A beggar to another beggar:
I had a grand diner at 'Sareena' yesterday.
Another beggar: how?

First beggar: sum 1 gave me 100 rs yesterday,
I went 2 'Sareena', ordered dinner worth 2000rs n enjoyed the diner.

When the bill came, i said, i had no money.
The manager called the policeman n handed me over to him.
I gave the 100rs note 2 the policeman n he set me free.



Don't Break anyone's heart
They have only one of it...
Break their bones..
They have 206 of them.. ;-)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Teacher to sleepy student:
Who invented Steam Engine.?
Student: What sir?
Teacher:Yes its correct. JAMES WATT.
Moral: Sleeping improves ur General Knowledge :-P

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aim in life should b 654321

Shocked?

6-Six digit salary
5-Five working days
4-Four wheeler car
3-Three room flat
2-Two cute childrn
1-One sweetheart :-D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Principal : I tried ur number so many times,
it said switched off...!
STUDENT said :''ya. it's my CALLER TUNE"
Principal shock...!
Student rocks....! B-)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arguing with your Boss is Like Wrestling
With a Donkey in the Mud.
After some Time
You Will Realize that
You are Getting Dirty and the Donkey is Enjoying it..!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Promises are like babies...
Fun to make but hell to deliver ;):P

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Teacher: Bobby! Join these two sentences together.

I was cycling to school. I saw a dead body.

Bobby: I saw a Dead Body Cycling to school. :-)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How can u believe on the word 'believe',
when there is a lie in center ? ;)
- Think..



Fact of Life :-
If a girl cries,
there may be thousand reasons.
But if a boy cries,
there is only one reason:
"GIRL"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aapki kanjusi dil ko bha gai,
Hamain bhi apne balance ki qadar aagai,

Socha ab aapkomessage na karain,
Magar ye kambakht dosti hamain yaad aagai.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Life is spent in 3 stupid STAGES

TEEN AGE
Have Time & Energy Bt No Money

WORKING AGE
Hv Money & Energy Bt No Time

OLD AGE
Hv Time & Money Bt No Energy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why Pakistanis are easy to identify..??
*Everything cooked in ginger garlic paste and onion.
*Re-use of gift wrappers.
*Always arive atleast an hour late to a party.
*All siblings have rhyming names.
*Talk for an hour at the gate when leave someone's house.
*You live with your parents even when you are 40 years old.
*Sofas and carpets are covered with bedsheets.
*Cover everything with plastic even if its a remote control. :-D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tring Tring..

Inbox kholo

Aap k liye phool bheijay hain

--;--;--<@ --;--;--<@ --;--;--<@ ab SMS send kero warna phol wapis karo

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man phones a mental hospital
and asks the receptionist
if there is anybody in Room 27 ?
She goes and checks,
and comes back to the phone,
telling him that the room is empty
Good, says the man.
That means I must have really escaped.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: Why are Egyptians Children always confused?

A: Because after death,
their daddy becomes the mummy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Imagine world without girls
roads sunsan markets viran
na janu na jan
na koi girl friend k liye preshan
bas namaz & quran
&
sarey larke direct jannat ul maqam

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Imagine world without girls
roads sunsan markets viran
na janu na jan
na koi girl friend k liye preshan
bas namaz & quran
&
sarey larke direct jannat ul maqam

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In my heart our love is heard like a ring tone.
In my ears Ur speech is heard like voice mail.
But when I called for response
Subscriber cant reach at the moment.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ur sms is electrical activity of my Heart...!
Ur miss call is beat of my Heart...!

Ur call is blood circulation of my heart...!
So please keep my active Heart...!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By face how do i look?
Innocent!
Sharp!
Proud!
Full of attitude!
Decent!
Illmanerd!
Funny!
Cute!
Zidi!
Pretty!
Send it 2 all ur frndz ,
n c wat they think abt u..But reply me 1st!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Monday went on Tuesday 2 Wednesday
and asked Thursday whether Friday
has told Saturday that Sunday is a holiday.
Have a Great Sunday...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Police Inspector : Have you caught the thief?
Sharef : No, but I found some trace of him.

Police Inspector : What?
Sharef : Finger prints.

Police Inspector : Where?
Sharef : On my cheeks.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
WELCOME to www.love.com
Enter Your Password
*
**
***
****
*****
Processing
.
.
.
.
Sorry Aapki Pyar Karne Ki Umar GUzar Chuki Hai


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Girl:How much do you love me?
Boy:My heart is a mobile and you are its SIM

Girl:Ooh God.. I am soo lucky..
.
.
.
.
.
.
She doesn't know that my mobile is dual sim :P


Yaad rakh ker meri dosti ko tumne,
Meri zindagi per ehsan kar diya,

Is mobile mein yeh last rupiya tha,
Daikh wob bhi tere naam kar dia,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How do you fit 30
Indians in Maruti 800?

Throw a 100 rupee note inside

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Osama Bin Laden's favourite song:
"O Main Nikla
Plane Leke
Raste Mein
New York Mein
Ek Mod Aaya
Main WTC Tod Aaya."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Select any number 4 ur lifepartner
(1)
(2)
(3)
(4)
(5)
(6)

Reply is must 2 get answer

Answers (more…)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Usama asked Kajol,"hows ur life?"
She replied,"kabhi khushi kabhi ghum."

Then Kajol asked Usama,"what abt U?"
He replied,"kabhi BUSH kabhi BOMB."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"LOVE"

Starts from eyes

Grows with gifts

End with tears

but 2day

"LOVE"

starts from mobiles

Grows with balance share

Ends with number busy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The length & breadth & height of you
total up to quite a view,

but to taste the true delight of you
I'll have to take a bite of you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Choosing Career Is Like Choosing Wife

From 10 GirlFriends.
Even If U Pick Most Beautiful,
Most Intelligent,
Kindest Women,

There"s Still Pain Of Loosing 9



I" M" A PoLice Officer..
&
U r Under arrest Because
U r So Cute and
Being So Cute Is a Crime.

Is Liye aap Ko DIL mein
Umer Qaid Ki Saza Di Jaati hai..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Q: What's the difference between
a good lawyer and a great lawyer?

A: A good lawyer knows the law.
A great lawyer knows the judge.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When u get this sms,
send it 1 person u love,
1 u hate,
1 u always think of,
and 1 u wish to kill.

Now, keep guessing why I sent it to u?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I'm on a mission!

Mission to make u cute,

2 make u beautiful,

2 make u smart,

2 make u genious.
.
.
.
.
in short.
.
.
.
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boy:"I m not rich like Shariq,
I don't have a big car like Shariq,
But I really love you"

Girl:"I love u too, but tell me
more about Shariq."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tip of the day:
Always keep ur pic in ur pocket, u know y?
Whenever u face any problem
just c ur pic & say 3 times,
"if I can face this, I can face anything"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Teacher: Where does God live?
Little boy: I think he lives in our bathroom.
Teacher: Why do you say that?
Little boy: Well, every morning my daddy
bangs on the door and says, 'God, are you still in there?'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Teacher:
(1)There is a frog,
(2)Ship is sinking,
(3)potatoes cost Rs 3/kg.

Then,what is my age?

STUDENT:32 yrs.
Teacher:How do you know?

STUDENT:Well, my sister is
16 yrs old and she is half mad.



Teacher :Because of
Gandhiji's hard work what
do we get on 15th August.

Student:A holiday

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Question:What is the full form of maths.
Anwser:
Mentaly
Affected
Teachers
Harrasing
Students
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Teacher :What happened in 1869?
Student:Gandhi ji was born.

Teacher :What happened in 1873?
Student:Gandhiji was four years old.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Elephant & Ant were walking on a bridge.
Then d elephant looked down toward d river.
Suddenly ant bit the elephant.
Y?

Bcoz ants wife was bathing in the river.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We are good friends because
u think I am sweet
and
I think u r sweet,

U think I am nice
and
I think u are nice,

You think I am smart
and
I think you are right:p

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Money can buy :-
a house not home,
A bed but not sleep,
medicine but not health,

Money is dirty, it only cause pain & suffering.
SEND me all UR MONEY & BE HAPPY.


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I always think about U.
.
.
.
I can't live without U.
.
.
.
I really need U.
.
.
.
I'm totally mad about U.
.
.
.
I just wanna be with U.
.
.
.
I'm very desperate for U.
.
.
.
I'm crazy 4 U.
.
.
.
I wanna marry U.
.
.
.
I LOVE U.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Aisa muje MAMA kehti hai

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Two lovers plan to comit suicide,
the boy jumped first,

girl closed her eyes and
return back saying "love is blind".

Boy in air, opened his
parachute saying "LOVE NEVER DIES"



Two lovers plan to comit suicide,
the boy jumped first,

girl closed her eyes and
return back saying "love is blind".

Boy in air, opened his
parachute saying "LOVE NEVER DIES"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sardar : (To a friend) Aap kitna parhay ho?

Friend : B.A.

Sardar : kamal karte ho yaar! Sirf do word parhay, aur woh bhi ulte

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Behind every successful student
there is a Good Teacher

But What about Failed student?

A BEAUTIFUL
TEACHER...!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I want to share Everything with you.
Your JOYS,
Your SADNESS,
Your HAPPY MOMENTS
Every single second of day
Let us START with your ATM Password first.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Piece of PHILOSOPHY :

Small things hurt a lot

Example :
u can sit on a mountain
but not on a pin..! ;-)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ek din ek ladka ek ladki ke sath baitha tha
doosre din doosri ladki ke sath
teesre din teesri ladki ke sath
baitha tha
Moral of the story
Ladkiyan badal jati hain ladke nahi badalte.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
jeevan me paise, pyaar, dost,
sab kuch aata hai jaata hai,
par tode gaye daant phir nhi aate,
samajhdar ho ummeed hai msg bhejte rahoge.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I m a flwer
but
ROSE is U,

Im star
but
MOON is U,

I m stone
but
DIAMOND is U,

I m the sky
but
SUN is U,

I m the LIGHT
but

LOAD SHEDDING IS U


Hi,
My name is
�BUBBLI�

My Number is
0333-HUSBAND
&
My Network is
0300-BOYFRIEND

Number always OLD
But
Network always new

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2nd day after wedding

Bubbli-
Mom I got in fight with my husband

Anti Misba-
It's part of marital life

Bubbli-
Oh ok but what should I do with the dead body


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Father 2 his son: If u do not pass your exam this time,
dont call me Papa
After some days.......
father: how is your result?
Son: Sorry Zaheer sb

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Why did Bubbli throw a butter
Out of the window?
.
.
Cause Bubbli wanted to see
Butterfly



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The Day I Die n Exit from dis pathetic life 4ever,
do buy sum nice beautiful flowers 4 me,
from d money which u r saving by not messaging me,
so keep in touch :-)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2 men were searching for their lost wife in a festival.
Banta: What does your wife look like?
Santa: She is 5'7", 36-24-36 sexy figure,
fair, sweet, beautiful, green sexy eyes, brown hair, and yours?

Banta: Forget mine, let us look for yours.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The taste of Oranges
The walk in Frost
The Golden sunlight
The beauty of Autumn colors
The magic of wet red leaves...
"Happy Slow Arrival of Winter"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kabhi aajao tum pal bhar ko,
Mujhe tum se batien krni hain,

Kuch ghum k geet sunanay hain,
Kuch raaz hain jo batlanay hain,

Kuch dil ko b batlana hai,
Kuch zakhm hain jo dikhlanay hain,

Kuch dil se yaadain dhoni hain,
Kuch naatay nai bnanay hain,

Jo sher likhay hain teri furqat mein,
Kuch sher tumhe wo sunanay hain,

Kuch dard sunanay hain dil k,
Kuch piyar ki batien krni hain,

Kabhi aajao tum pal bhar ko,


Kabhi aajao tum pal bhar ko,
Mujhe tum se batien krni hain,

Kuch ghum k geet sunanay hain,
Kuch raaz hain jo batlanay hain,

Kuch dil ko b batlana hai,
Kuch zakhm hain jo dikhlanay hain,

Kuch dil se yaadain dhoni hain,
Kuch naatay nai bnanay hain,

Jo sher likhay hain teri furqat mein,
Kuch sher tumhe wo sunanay hain,

Kuch dard sunanay hain dil k,
Kuch piyar ki batien krni hain,

Kabhi aajao tum pal bhar ko,

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Umeed nahi fir bi jiye jate hai..
khali hai bottle fir bi piye jate hai.,

Himmat to dekho hamari...
Response aata nehi fir bhi sms kiye jate hai....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Duniya me 3 insan khush hote hai
1 jise sacha pyar milta hai
Dusra jise achha yaar milta hai
teesra jise mera msg baar baar milta hai
Kyu aa gai na (smile)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Miss ne nursery class k bchay se kaha
1 se 10 tk gino main tumhen kiss krun gi
Bacha bola:
Agr me 1 se 1000 tak ginu to koi pakage hai?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Door se dekha to andey ubal rahey they
.
.
.
Door se dekha to andey ubal rahey they
.
.
.
.
Pas a ker dekha to Ganjey uchal rahe they:)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aik pagal dosre pagal se:
Latifa kisey kehtey hain

Dosra pagal: Latif ki B.V ko
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chand lamho ki zindagi hai,
Nafraton se jiya nahi karte,

Lagta hai dushmano se guzarish karni padegi,
Kyunki aap to ab sms kiya nahi karte.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kaam kaam kaam
10 to 5 tak kaam
uske baad ek shaam
ush shaam mein aapke liye ek pyara sa jaam
ush jaam se aap hamesha k liye jaam
to bhool jao kaam

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dedicated to STEVE JOBS
A for apple.
B for bada apple.
C for chhota apple.
D for dusra apple.
E for ek aur apple.
F for fokat ka apple.
G for gol apple.
H for hazar apple.
I for itney saarey apple?
J for jaao nahi khaana hai apple.
K for kaise nahi khaayengey apple.
L for lena padhega tumko apple.
M for mujhe nahi chahiye itne apple.
N for naa nahi kehtey kyun key yeh hai apple.
O for Oh to tumne khaa daale yeh saare apple.
P for pet bhar Ke khaao apple.
Q for qismat mein nahi hoti hai sabke, yeh apple.
R for roz khaao tum apple.
S for sehetmand rahoge agar khaaogey tum apple.
T for tumko nahi milengey itney achey apple.
U for udhaar ke nahi hai yeh apple.
V for very tasty hai yeh apple.
W for waste na karo time aur khaalo jaldi se apple.
X for X'mas mein bhi khane padenge apple.
Y for yoon na chehra phero dekhkey apple
Z for zaroor dil bhar gaya hoga khake itne saare apple..........­..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man received an unknown call..
Girl : hello do you have a gf??
Man : no, who are you darling?
Girl : M ur girl friend Diana, hate u

Again man got a call
Girl : do u have a gf??
Man : yes darling
Girl : m ur wife Alice, hate u
Man : oh sorry honey i didn't recognise u
Girl : m Diana i knew it that u have a wife, Hate u liar...

Man : wtf..... :-P:-D
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PIZZA always confuses us:
It comes in Square box,
When u open it's Round,
When u start eating it's Triangle
Life is also like Pizza..
Looks something,
Appears something
&
Tastes something...)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Attachment is not when two people chat day & night
Attachment is not when two people can’t live without each other
Attachment is not when two people can’t stay away from each other for a moment

But when the HR sends an email to you with subject as
"Increment letter" and the attached file is missing..
That’s when you realize the true meaning of Attachment !!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aankho mein ansu aa jatte hai,
Phir bhi labo par hasi rakhni parrti hai,

Ye haal tabhi hota hai,
Jab lambe safar main susu rokni parrti hai

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
U don;t know sumthing?
Google it !

U don't know sumone?
Facebook it !

You don't find sumthing?
.
.
.
.
.
MUMMY !! :D

Sum things, nevr change.. :)


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Teen bachche apne baap ki taarif kar rahe the.
1st- Mere pitaji bahut garam chai pi jate hain.
2nd- Bas mere pitaji to khaulta hua chai aaram se pi jate hain.
3rd- Ye to kuch bhi nahi,
mere pitaji to chaypatti,dudh,shakkar,
muh me dal lete hain aur
stove par baith jaate hai.....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Don't take your phone inside the bathroom
That's probably the only time in whole day
When you spend time with yourself only

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Modern Proposal in Mobile Era-

Sweet Heart,
I Want To Spend The
Rest Of My Battery Life
With You

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mobile Texting With 3% Battery
Is A Lot Like The Band Playing
While
Titanic Sank

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Alphabetic advice for you:
A B C
Avoid Boring Company..
D E F
Don't Entertain Fools..
G H I
Go for High Ideas .
J K L M
Just Keep a friend like ME..
N O P
Never Overlook the Poor n suffering..
Q R S
Quit Reacting to Silly tales..
T U V
Tune Urself for ur Victory..
W X Y Z
We Xpect You to Zoom ahead in life

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Petals of yesterday has withered into the past.
Tomorrow is unopened bud that may destroy by rude frost.
So today is the full bloom of life.
we never know what will happen in flux of time,
so enjoy ur life to the fullest
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
aquarium mai 2 fishes teir rahi hain
ab batao un mai se nur kon aur mada kon?
.
.
.
Click here for answer
(more…)

Interesting definitions of school,doctor,marriage,smile etc..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

SCHOOL;
A Place where Papa Pays & Son Plays

Life Insurnce;
A Contract that keeps U poor all Ur life so that U can die Rich

Doctor;
A person who kills Ur ills by pills
& kills U by bills

Mariage;
It's an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree
& a woman gains her Master

Smile;
A curve that can set a lot of things straight

Atom Bomb;
An invention to end all inventions.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Question : When do you CONGRATULATE
someone for their MISTAKE.

(more…)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Definition of Human being by a philosopher:

A creature that cuts trees
and makes paper,
and on those papers
writes
"SAVE TREES"


Degrees of girls!
B.A.-Beautiful Angel
B.E.-Beautiful Eyes
B.Sc.-Beautiful Structure
B.Com-Beautiful Communication
M.B.A.-Married But Awesome!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dear Guys,
May your life be as awesome
as you pretend it is on
Facebook __ :-D

Dear Girls,
May your life not be as bad
as you pretend it is on
Facebook __ :-P
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Life would be so much easier
If everyone had the same
mobile phone charger:-P

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
koi Book aesi milti jis pey Dil luta dety,
Her subject ney demagh khaya kisi 1 ko nipta dety,

Ab sylabus dekh ker ye sochten hain k,
1 maheena or hota to anni paa dety


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
if u want to drive "Mercedez"
'
'
'
& wish 2go2 switzerland,
& like to stay in 5 star hotel,
then visit our website
www.apni ouqat mai raho.com

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Professor:
Tum 20 saal ki larki
Su shaadi kroge ya
Apne sy 20 saal bari say ... ?

Student:
Sir ! Depend karta hy k
Kon khoobsurat hay !
Aap ki beti ya aap ki biwi

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Teacher:"What is your name?".
Student:"Mera naam Suraj Prakash hai."
Teacher:"When I ask aquestion in english,answer it in english."
Student:"My name is Sunlight."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sam: I Have Changed My Mind.
Ali : Good
So Does This One Work Better?


The most romantic country of the world..?
.
.
guess!
.
.
O yes! it's Pakistan
u know y?
?
?
har raat candle light dinner
(thanks to kesc)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The first gush of chilly winds!
The familiar anticipation of long walks!
cold nose, numb feet, warm breaths!
The fog!
The vermillion tree leaves!
Oranges, Coffee, Friends!
"The best is yet to come"
Thats the message winters bear..
So make lasting memories..!

Happy January !



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Guiness Book Of World Record

Aik Pakistani Ne Kal 24 Ghanton
Tak Pani Me Saans Band Kr K Naya
Record Qaim Kiya
.
.
.
.
.
.
" Janaza Aaj 4 Bajay Hai "

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The best way to
release office stress is

To put your head on
the table, snooze,
yawn and say loud
.
.
.
.
"Bhaar Main Jaye Company ...":D



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Breaking news by Geo :
Wazar⇍⇎at e bijli nay load shedding
Khatam karnay ka elaan... "
Sorry,
Abhi itna he suna tha
K light chali gai .

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When You Really
Want To Slap Someone,

Do It And Say
Bloody Mosquito. :D:P

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1st friend: Bro can i use your phone
to call my girlfirned?
.
.
.
2nd friend: Yeah sure,
just hit redial
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Do u know w⇥⇥hat is difference
Between radio and akhbar?
.
.
Simple
.
.
Akhbaar me hum rotyaan bech sakte
and radio mai nahin :p



Corporate Lessons

"We will do it"
Means
"U will do it."

"U have done a great job"
Means
"More work will be given to u."

"We r a team"
Means
"I am not the only one to be blamed."

"That is a good question"
Means
"I do not know anything about it."

"All the best "
Means
"U r in trouble." :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Law Of Reverse Dynamics:

When A Man ⇆⇆Becomes Rich
He Becomes Naughty &
When A Woman Becomes Naughty.
She Becomes Rich...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My phone is like my lover...
It's the last thing I see at night,
and th⇦⇜e first thing
I wake up to ever morning!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Unfortunately, without my cellphone, I wouldn't

1. know what time it is
2. be able to⇳⇳ solve a math question
3. know a single phone number
4. know the date
5. be able to text my friend when I'm at their house
6. take a snap shot at a picture-perfect time
7. be able to wake up from an alarm in the morning
8. find my way in the dark.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pathan's wife bought a
Beautiful sweater for her husband...
She sent it to him by parcel
Along wit⇐⇯h a note ... That said
"the buttons of d sweater r removed
Since they were too heavy & added
To the postage. U'll f⇛⇛ind 'em
In d right hand pocket of the sweater"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
At night if mosquito bites what to do..?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
Just scratch n sleep again !
We r not Rajnikant 2 make the Mosquito say Sorry:p



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Man: Among my 4 sons 3 r ENGINEERS.
Friend: ⇶⇭⇮4th? Man:
He didn't study & became a barber.
Friend: Y don't u throw him out?
Man: y should i?
He's the only 1 who earns!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Thoughts On Men

Women Are Programmed To Love Completely,
And Men Are Programmed To Spread It Around.


Graduation speech:

I would like to thank,
The Internet, Google, Wikipedia,
Microsoft Office and
The one who invented copy paste!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In a way
I feel sorry for the kids of next generation
.
.
.
They'll have parents
Who kn⇘⇘ow how to check
"Last call duration",
Sent msgs,
And "browser history" :p


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Meet In RAJASTAN,
Love In HINDUSTAN Marrage In DEVASTAN,
Take Honymoon In AFGANISTAN,
But Dont Bring Ur Population 2 Our Pakistan

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In class room 1 boy was praying Allah Allah.

Teacher: y r u praying in classroom?

Boy: Mom advised me that
before sleeping u must pray Allah Allah



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If u have any problem
⇑⇑
Mujhy batao
I'll help u (:

If u don't hve any
Problem !

Tab bhi
Mujhy batao
.
.
.
I'll create problem
.
.
.
Aakhir dost hoty kis
Liye hain ...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What was GOD's First Reaction
when he made a Negro(African)?

Socho...

Dont know..

Oh! shit jal gaya!!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Life is strange .. ..
SHOES we wear are sold in AC showrooms,
VEGE⇏⇰TABLES we eat r sold on DIRTY footpaths,
And a PIZZA reaches faster than an AMBULANCE . . . :-)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Question: What did an SEO husband say to his wife after delivery of their twins?

Answer: For the first time I am happy with duplicate content.



I met money 1 day I said:
U r just a piece of paper.

Money smiled & said,
ofcourse Im a piece of paper,
but I havnt seen a dustbin in my life.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A
girl's
best
asset
is
her
'Lie'Ability"



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How to impress a girl

>Respect Her
>Honour Her
>Lo⇷ve Her
>Protect Her
>Care For Her

How to Impress a boy

>Just smile once
>Game over

Scratch & win
1 Star2 Stars3 Stars4 Stars5 Stars (7 votes, average: 2.71 out of 5)
Scratch & Win ..
||||||||
|||||||n
||||||an
||||han
|||than
Pathan ...

Ye Kia Jeet Lia ... ;->



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Understanding a girl is like
downloading a 1 GB file at a speed of 2kb/s

At the⇎⇎ stage of 99% completion...
you are likely to get ERROR-INVALID FILE

Try again
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
World is full of ⇻⇻willing people
Some willing to work
and others like me,
Willing to let them work



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lady : So, you want to become my son-in-law?
Boy: Not really,
but I don’t see any other way 2 marry ur daughter!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Serious Statement
written outside a Women shoe shop
.
.
.
.
70% Discount
if you select in 5min :P


A young woman who was worried about
her habit of biting her fingernails
was advised by a friend to take up yoga.
She did, and soon her fingernails were growing normally.

⇴⇴⇴Seeing this, her friend congratulated her and said yoga
had totally cured her nervousness.
"No," she replied, "
but now I can reach my toe-nails so I bite them instead.

A man spotted an old brass lamp
1 Star2 Stars3⇤⇤ Stars4 Stars5 Stars (6 votes, average: 3.50 out of 5)
One day a man spotted an old brass lamp by the roadside.
He picked it up, rubbed the dirt off of it, and a genie appeared.

"i'll grant you your fondest wish," the genie said.

The man thought for a moment, then said,
"I want a spectacular job - a job that no one has ever succeeded at or has ever attempted to do."

"poof!" said the genie. "you are a housewife." :p



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yoga teacher to a woman:
Has yoga any effect over your husband's drinking habit?

Woman: Yes, Yes !! An amazing effect !!
Now he drinks the whole bottle
standing upside down over his head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Height 0f Begging

⇐A Sleeping Beggar Puts Up
A Notice Board In Front Of Him:

"Please Do Not Make Noise By
Dropping Coins...
Offer Notes ... " =P =D


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My mom said: "Honey, please go the market and buy 1 bottle of milk.
If they ha#ve eggs, bring 6"

I came back with 6 bottles of milk.

She said:"Why the hell did you buy 6 bottles of milk?"

I said: "Because they had eggs!!!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Once in a soap industry in Japan,
the soap cover was mistakenly packed without soap in it i.e an empty cover.
To avoid the problem in future they purchased X-Ray machine of 60 thousand dollars
to check in the assembly line that
whether soap is packed in the cover or not in.

Same problem occurred in Pakistan.
What did they do??
They simply put a pedestal fan beside the assembly line.
Empty boxes were flown away! :-D
Genius Nation.



*~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Nice patriotic story*
1 pakistani jo Pakistan se nafrat karta tha,
or har waqt pr#oblems ki waja se pakistan ko galian deta tha.
Us pe 1 din bijli ka taar gir gaya wo tarap tarap k marne hi wala tha k
light chali gaye
pakistani sari nafrat bhool k khushi bola
"Pakistaaaaan Zindabaad"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sorry for late SMS
Actually police arrested me for killing a girl
I swear I didn't kill her
I just asked her ,"will u marry me?"
and
woh khushi se mar gaye:D:p


Highly disappointing situations
Your best friend weds your lover!:'(
A close friend avoiding without reason! :(
10 mark question asked for 2mark! :(
Principal sitting near you on tour! :(
EXtremly good looking gu#y/girl crossing you wen you are with your mom/dad! :(
Teachers distributing your test papers in front of your juniors!:/
Friend calling on b'day n not wishing! :@
Dear one sudde#nly stopped messaging! :o
Leaving this post without liking it too! :p

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Algorithm follow by majority of girls on facebook
1.Upload a new profile pic
2.Wait for everyone & I mean almost everyone to like and or comment "cute,"cho..chweet","awww","awesome" etc..
3.Be happy...
4.Respond to every comment and like INDIVIDUALLY
5.Be happy again!!!
6.Goto step 1. :p



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Feel a life without me,

Khali khali se hai na....
Bus!
Apni baat hi kuch aisi hy

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If somebody comes n tells u,
That u r fool, lazy & stupid!

Don't b afraid, go to him,

Catch his neck,
and tell him
"Kisay hor noo naa dasin"



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Guzre dinon ki bhuli hoi bat ki tarha,
Ankhon me jagta he koi rat ki tarah,

Tumse umed thi k nibhao gy dosti,
Tum bhi badal gaye Karachi k halaat ki tarah.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It's a girls world
#
If a girl laughs loudly she is cheerful,
If boy laughs loudly he's mannerless!

If girl talks sweetly she is charming,
If boy tal#ks sweetly he's flirt,

If girl is silent, she's feeling sad,
If a boy is silent, he's being rude

If girls walk in a group it's a group,
If a boy walk in a group it's GANG!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A girl's status at fb:
Weird day
A guy came up to me
&
told me he'd give me an iphone
if i sleep with him.

How ridiculous
.
.
.
Updated via iphone

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~#~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Statistics show that 1% of women in the world,
are on medication for mental illness
.
.
.
.
.
So beware!

99% a#re running around
without proper medication!!



Q:What is more painful?
When a person whom u trust, hurts u?
OR
The person whom u hurt, still trusts u?

Think about that & reply!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
##In a Mental Hospital a journalist asked the Doctor:
How do u determine whether to admit a patient or not?

Dr: Well, we first fill a BathTub & give a## teaspoon, a glass & a bucket to the patient & ask them to empty the Bathtub....

Journalist: Oh, obviously a norm##al person would use d bucket bcoz its bigger....

Dr: NO, a normal person would pull the drain plug!
Now will u plz proceed to b#ed no.39 ;-)


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Equation Of Life

? Life + Love = Happy
Life - Love = Sad

Adding above 2,

Life + Love = Happy
Life - Love = Sad

2Life = Happy + Sad

So,

Life = 1/2Happy + 1/2Sad

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
##What A Mystery
A cockraoch is afraid of Rat,
Rat is afraid of Cat,
Cat is afraid of Dog,
Dog is afraid of Man,
Man is afraid of Woman,
And Woman is afraid## of
.
.
.
.
.
.
Cockraoch!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
##Company offered Rs.500 for
each money-saving idea
submitted by it's employees.

First prize went to the employee
who suggested the award
be cut to Rs.250:p

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A history ##teacher and his wife were sitting at a table.
The wife asked,"Anything new at work?
He replied, No, I am teaching history.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
##Dear GIRLS...!
When a guy adds u on facebook
it means he wants to b ur frnd not ur husband...
That's y its called a frnd request... not a proposal !!!...
And when a guy likes ur status he likes your status..
he s not trying to impress u or flirt with u ...
When a guy likes ur picture,
that...means he likes ur picture not *YOU*...
Enlarged version of the public service ##message by *BOYS**
Go ahead and share this guys... let them all know the fact
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The world's most beautiful sentence is...
"BUT...I LOVE U"
and the world's most selfish and painful sentence is
"I LOVE YOU...BUT.."



The world's most beautiful sentence is...
"BUT...I LOVE U"
and the world's most selfish and painful sentence is
"I LOVE YOU...BUT.."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
##Science teacher :
agar kisi ladki ko mirgi ka attack ho
to use lambe time tak kiss karo isse wo thik ho jayegi.

Student : par sir use attack## kaise dilaya jaye?.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Salesman:This computer will
cut your workload by 50%.

Santa:That is great,
I will take two of them:p

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Go down to c my heart..

Dekha.
Kitna saaf hai mera DIL,
Bole to ekdam Aapke.
Dimag Ki tarah.



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man's feeling
.
.
.
It feels like a ##mini heart attack
when i dont find my mobile in my pocket
&
Its almost like heart fail
when i see it in my girlfriend's hand !

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
##Keep a special place 4 me in your heart,
Not in your mind.

keeping me in u##r mind can bDANGEROUS for u

Because
people
Say
I
M
Mind
blowing



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
##Smile is a language of love,
Smile is a way 2 get success.
Smile is 2 win hearts,
Smile improves ##ur personality.

So please

Brush daily! :-)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
##Story:
Once upon a time, there was a boy
who aksed a girl,
"will you marry me?"
The girl replied,"No"

aur is tarah

Larka hasi khushi rehnay ##laga.