Feline Physics Laws jokes 2016

• Law of Cat Inertia 
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• A cat at rest will tend to remain at rest, unless acted upon by some outside force - such as the opening of cat food, or a nearby scurrying mouse. 
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• Law of Cat Motion 
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• A cat will move in a straight line, unless there is a really good reason to change direction. 
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• Law of Cat Magnetism 
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• All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric. 
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• Law of Cat Thermodynamics 
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• Heat flows from a warmer to a cooler body, except in the case of a cat, in which case all heat flows to the cat. 
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• Law of Cat Stretching 
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• A cat will stretch to a distance proportional to the length of the nap just taken. 
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• Law of Cat Sleeping 
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• All cats must sleep with people whenever possible, in a position as uncomfortable for the people involved, and as comfortable as possible for the cat. 
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• Law of Cat Elongation 
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• A cat can make her body long enough to reach just about any counter top that has anything remotely interesting on it. 
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• Law of Cat Obstruction 
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• A cat must lay on the floor in such a position to obstruct the maximum amount of human foot traffic. 
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• Law of Cat Acceleration
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• A cat will accelerate at a constant rate, until he gets good and ready to stop. 
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• Law of Dinner Table Attendance 
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• Cats must attend all meals when anything good is served. 
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• Law of Rug Configuration 
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• No rug may remain in its naturally flat state for very long. 
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• Law of Obedience Resistance 
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• A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something. 
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• First Law of Energy Conservation 
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• Cats know that energy can neither be created nor destroyed and will, therefore, use as little energy as possible. 
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• Second Law of Energy Conservation 
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• Cats also know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping. 
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• Law of Refrigerator Observation 
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• If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat. 
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• Law of Electric Blanket Attraction 
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• Turn on an electric blanket and a cat will jump into bed at the speed of light. 
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• Law of Random Comfort Seeking 
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• A cat will always seek, and usually take over, the most comfortable spot in any given room.
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• Law of Bag/Box Occupancy 
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• All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond. 
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• Law of Cat Embarrassment 
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• A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter. 
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• Law of Milk Consumption 
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• A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can. 
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• Law of Furniture Replacement 
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• A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture. 
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• Law of Cat Landing 
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• A cat will always land in the softest place possible; often the mid- section of an unsuspecting, reclining human. 
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• Law of Fluid Displacement 
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• A cat immersed in milk will displace her own volume, minus the amount of milk consumed. 
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• Law of Cat Disinterest 
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• A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him. 
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• Law of Pill Rejection 
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• Any pill given to a cat has the potential energy to reach escape velocity.