- Man Asks Wife- What Would You Do If I Won The Lottery ?
- Wife Says- I-d Take Half n Leave You…..
- Husband- Perfect !
- I-ve Won $10 , Here-s $5
- Now Get Lost………
- ===============================
- What do you call a bee that has come from
- America ???
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- “USB”
- No claps please…. :p 😀
- ===============================
- Best way to propose a girl
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- Take her to sea, ask her to sit in a boat..
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- Then take the boat in the middle of sea… .
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- Then say Marry Me or leave my boat…!
- ===============================
- When U Breathe,
- U Respire.
- Wah wah
- When U Breathe,
- U Respire !
- Wah wah
- When u Don’t Breathe,
- U Expire….. :p 😀
- ===============================
- Boy : You Look Exactly Like My Wife..!
- .
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- Girl : Ohhh..! What’s Your Wife’s
- Name..?
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- Boy : I’m Not Married Yet..!!
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- Moral : Learn New Methods To
- Propose..!!
- ===============================
- Girl To Her Boy Friend : Darling, Do You Know Handsome And Smart Boys Always….
- Get Stupid Girl Friends..!!
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- Boy: Thanks For The Compliment Darling..!!
- ===============================
- Teacher: “Where’s Your Book?!”
- Student: “At Home.”
- Teacher: “And What’s It Doing There?”
- Student: “Having MOre Fun Than Me.”
- ===============================
- After massive demands from all husbands……….
- A new app called ‘Panic’ is launched for smart phones..
- You just say…..
- ‘Wife’..
- and it closes all websites, hides all chats, hide all special folders and best of all.
- puts your wife’s photograph as a wallpaper……..
- ===============================
- A plane was transporting mentally impaired patients & they were making too much noise. One of the mad men entered Pilots cabin.
- MADMAN: Hey Mr Pilot Teach me how to fly a plane.
- PILOT: I will but under one condition.
- MADMAN: Whats that?
- PILOT: If only you can get your friends to keep quiet.
- MADMAN: Okay.
- (5 minutes later the plane is quiet).
- PILOT: Wow, how did u get em to keep quiet?
- MADMAN: I opened the door & told them to go and play outside.
- ===============================
- A little boy was in a taxi eating a chocolate, then he took another one and then another …
- .
- A man next to him said “Do you know that too much of it will damage your teeth”
- .
- The boy replied, “my grandfather lived for 132 years”
- .
- The man asked ” was it because of eating chocolate ?”
- .
- The boy replied, “No, he was always minding his own business”
- ===============================
- Sonu Rings a call centre:
- My internet is not working properly
- Officer: Ok, Double click on “My computer”
- Sonu : I can’t see ur computer
- Officer: No no, click on “My computer” on ur computer
- Sonu : How can I click on ur computer from my computer?
- Officer:listen, There is an icon labelled “My Computer” on ur computer, Ok double click on it
- Sonu : what the hell, what is your computer doing on my computer..?
- Officer : Double click on ur computer
- Sonu : On which Icon i’ve to click
- Officer: “My Computer”
- Sonu : Tell me where is ur office. I’ll come there and click on ur “Computer.”
- ===============================
- Beggar: Sir please give me rs. 6 For coffee.
- Man: Coffee? Its rs. 3 only.
- Beggar: 1 for my girlfriend!
- Man: Wow! you too made a girlfriend?
- Beggar: No sir, girlfriend made me a beggar.
- ===============================
- A line written on a Husband’s T-shirt :
- ALL GIRLS ARE DEVIL BUT MY WIFE IS QUEEN..
- .
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- .
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- OF THEM..:-P
- Leave a comment
- Height of Good Luck ……..!
- E-Mail This
- Height of Good Luck …!
- Teacher: Hey! Stand up.Tell me two pronouns.
- .
- .
- .
- Student: Who? Me?
- Teacher: Very Good, Sit down 😀
- ===============================
- Roses are red; Violets are blue
- Monkeys like you should be kept in zoo.
- Don’t feel so angry you will find me there too
- Not in cage but outside, laughing at you…….. 😀
- ===============================
- Some times small small things in life hurt a lot…. If u don’t agree with me
- .
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- TRY TO SIT ON A PIN
- ===============================
- Behind every successful person, there is a
- .
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- DEACTIVATED FACEBOOK ACCOUNT….
- ===============================
- Boy: I heard you failed in English?
- .
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- Girl: who TELLED you? It’s unpossible, I will checked the results yesterday and I passed away…….. :p
- ===============================
- This cat, is cat, a cat, good cat, way cat, to cat,
- keep cat, a cat, idiot cat, busy cat, for cat,
- 20 cat, seconds cat! Now read it all without the word cat!
- ===============================
- “DRINKS”
- D-elicious aftr 1 Peg.
- R-omantic aftr 2 peg.
- I-nterested aftr 3 peg.
- N-aughty aftr 4 peg.
- K-ing aftr 5 peg.
- S-nake aftr 6 peg…..
- ===============================
- Teacher: where is Everest?
- .
- Student: I don’t know Mam….
- .
- Teacher: You Stand on the desk!
- .
- Student: Still cannot see ma’am
- ===============================
- What’s the most most embarrassing moment in one’s life?
- .
- ..
- …
- When nobody likes your Facebook status! :'( :p
- ===============================
- What did the male dog say 2 the female dog in the cool night with bright moon light?
- .
- .
- THINK ??
- .
- .
- BOW BOW! What else can a dog say?
- ===============================
- Height of Addiction: Just bofore a prisoner was ready to be hanged to death the officer asked him about his last wish..!!
- He said- I want to update MyFACEBOOK status as DIED ..!!
- ===============================
- 4 Stages of marriage:
- 1. Mad for each other….
- 2. Made for each other….
- 3. Mad at each other….
- 4. Mad bcoz of each other…..
- ===============================
- Before Marriage:-
- He: yes! atlast it was so hard 2 wait
- she: Do you want me 2 leave?
- He: No! don’t even think about it
- She: Do you love me ?
- He: Ofcourse! over n over!
- She: Have u ever cheated on me?
- He: No!y r u even asking?
- She: will u go on wid me on picnic?
- He: Every chance I get!
- She: Will u hit me ?
- He: R u crazy?I’m not that kind of person!
- She: Can I trust u?
- He: Yes..
- She: Darling!
- After marriage…
- Now simply read from bottom to top
- ===============================
- A good teacher according to students is One who :
- -Should Be Absent At Least 3 Times A Week
- -Should Come In Class 10mins Late And Left The Class 10 Mins Earlier
- -Should Not Give Any Homework And Assignments
- -Should Not Ask Any Questions To Students
- -Should Not Disturb The Students By Teaching While They Are Talking
- ===============================
- Preet: Meet my wife Tina
- Gagan : Oh! I know her
- Preet : How?
- Gagan : We were caught sleeping together
- Preet : What the hell?
- Gagag : During lecture in maths class
- Think +ve:)
- ===============================
- After an accident….
- A very angry driver Say : I showed you the headlights & told u 2 go by side.
- Man : I also started the wipers & said No, no..No no. 😀
- ===============================
- A girl & boy were sitting alone, that boy started touching the girl…..
- Girl : don’t touch me, all this only after marriage.
- Boy : ok call me when you are married.
- What is a girl friend?
- Addition of problems,subtraction of money,multiplication of enemies & division of friends.
- ===============================
- Teacher: Tomorrow there will be a lecture on Sun. Everyone must attend it.
- Bittu: No! I will not be able to attend it.
- Teacher: Why?
- Bittu: My mother will not allow me to go so far !!
- ===============================
- Million Copies Of A New Book Sold In Just Two Days Due To Typing Error In Title i.e.
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- “AN IDEA CAN CHANGE YOUR WIFE (LIFE)” 😛
- ===============================
- Wife comes home Late at Night & Quietly Opens the door to her bedRoom.
- From under the Blanket She Sees 4 Legs Instead Of 2.
- She reaches for a Baseball Bat & Starts hitting the Blanket as hard as She can.
- Once She’s done, She goes to the Kitchen to have a drink..
- As She Enters, She Sees Her Husband there, Reading a Magazine..
- “Hi Darling” He say; Your Parents have come to Visit us, so I Let them stay in Our bedRoom. Hope U have said Hello!
- ===============================
- WIFE: What would you do if i died?
- Would you get married again?
- Husband: No…
- Wife- Why not?
- Don’t you like being married?
- Husband: Of course i do.
- Wife: Then why wouldn’t you remarry?
- Husband: Ok, ok, i’d get married again…
- Wife: Would you live in our house with your new Wife…?
- Husband: Yes, it’s a great house.
- Wife: Would you let her drive my car ?
- Husband: Yes, its almost new, dear .
- Wife: Would you give her my jewelry?
- Husband: No.. I am sure she would want her own..
- Wife: Would she wear my shoes..?
- Husband: No, her size is ’5
- Wife: –silence-
- Husband: ‘shiiit’…!!!
- ===============================
- 4 dangerous weapons in the world bigger than nuclear bomb:
- 1. Wife’s Smile
- 2. Wife’s Tear
- 3. Wife’s Looks
- And the most dangerous,
- 4. Wife’s Missed Call.!
- ===============================
- Father : Son, what do you want for your birthday?
- Son : Not that much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it.
- ===============================
- Man to a Lady In a Crowded mall: I have Lost My Wife, Will you Please talk to Me for A second
- Lady: why?
- Man: because whenever I Talk to Ladies She Appears From nowhere like a ghost…..
- ===============================
- A Kid On His Way 2 Home With His Mom Saw A Couple Kissing On The Road,
- He Suddenly Shouted & Said: Look Mom look, that boy and girl Are Fighting For A Chewing GUM.
- ===============================
- Exams are like girl friends
- – difficult 2 understand
- – too many questions
- – more explanations are needed And results are most of the time failure…..
- ===============================
- Birdy birdy in the sky
- Dropped a poopy in my eyes,
- I do not worry I do not cry
- I am just happy that cows don’t fly!
- ===============================
- Double Heart Attack Message By A Girl To A Boy:
- .
- .
- Girl Msg: “lets Break Up Now,its All Over.
- .
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- Boy Msg: “sorry, Sorry,
- .
- .
- Girl Msg: “Sorry! That Was Not For You……..”
- ===============================
- In A Nursery School Canteen,
- .
- .
- There Was A Basket Of Apples With A Notice Written Over It:
- ”Do Not Take More Than One, God Is Watching”
- .
- .
- On The Other Counter There Was A Box Of Chocolates,
- .
- .
- A Small Child Went & Wrote On It
- ..
- “Take As Many As You Want, God Is Busy Watching The Apples……..
- ===============================
- Dad:” Give me ur Mobile for a Minute..
- .
- .
- Son:” Wait dad, Let me Switch it on..
- .
- Gf Pic delete, Gals Number list delete, Phone call Received delete,Delete, Delete, Delete, Memory Card Format..
- .
- .
- Son:” Here it is..
- .
- .
- .
- Dad:” Thanx I Just want to see the time………
- ===============================
- Wife : U had lunch ?
- Husband : ( in a fun mood ) U had lunch ?
- Wife : I’m asking u.
- Husband : I’m asking u.
- Wife : R u copying me ?
- Husband : R u copying me ?
- Wife : Lets go shopping.
- Husband : I had lunch.
- ===============================
- Wife is CUTE, when she is MUTE
- Husband is HONEY, when he gives money…. 😀
- ===============================
- Boyfriend: can you be the moon of my life?
- Girlfriend: Awww Yes sweetheart..!
- Boyfriend: Great! then Stay 9,955,887.6 kms away from Me..!!
- ===============================
- Girl : What are you doing ?
- Boy : killing mosquitoes
- Girl : how many did you killed?
- Boy : 3 females, 2 male, total 5 !!!
- Girl : how did you know that?
- .
- .
- .
- Boy : 3 sitting on mirror, 2 near beer..!
- ===============================
- Science Teacher: Oxygen is a must for breathing & for life. It was discovered in 1773.
- Student: Thank God ! I am born after 1773 otherwise,I would have died without it.
- ===============================
- Wife: Look at that man who has drunk a lot..
- Husband: Who is he?
- Wife: 10 year ago, he was my boy friend and i denied him for marriage.
- Husband: Oh my god, he is still celebrating!!
- ===============================
- Two Tigers were resting under a tree Suddenly A RABBIT passed very fast Tiger could not make out & ……Asked
- “What was that?”
- 2nd Tiger smiled & said,
- “FAST FOOD”
- ===============================
- Husband message to wife
- Hi,what are you doing darling???
- Wife-i am dying…!!
- Husband- Jumps with joy but
- types-oh my dear, how can I live without U???
- wife – You idiot i am dying my hair
- Husband -Damn English!!!!
- ===============================
- Girl: hi baby..
- Boy: hii jaan…(sending failed)
- Girl: r u here??
- Boy: yes yes..i m here…(sending failed) …
- Girl: r u ignorng me or what?? :s
- Boy: honey i m nt..i m ryt here..(sending failed)
- Girl: its over..dnt u evr talk to me again !! :@
- Boy: Damn ! go to hell.. :@ (message send)
- ===============================
- A Five year old boy was trying to write a letter
- Dad: What are you writing my son ??
- Son: Love letter to my girlfriend !!!
- Dad: Do you know how to write ??
- Son: No!!! So what…
- She also doesn’t know how to read. It’s Love Dad you won’t Understand….
- ===============================
- A boy was driving a car,a girl was trying to overtake him rashly.
- Boy: “Hey…Buffalo!”
- Girl Shouts back: “You Pig, Donkey, Stupid!”
- Then she accidents and hit the buffalo crossing the road.
- Moral: Girls never understand what boys say!…
- ===============================
- A Student Wrote A Letter To His Father From Hostel:
- Dear Dad,
- No Money, No fun.
- Your Son.
- .
- .
- .
- .
- His Father Replied:
- So Sad, Very Bad!
- Your Dad
- ===============================
- Girls express their Feelings with lot of ‘TEARS’
- &
- Boys express their Feelings with bottles of ‘BEERS n CHEERS’ 😀
- ===============================
- Girl: What do u do?
- Boy: PHD.
- .
- .
- Girl: Wow! Doctorate.
- Boy: No. Pizza Hut Delivery
- ===============================
- “SEMESTER” Change
- E-Mail This
- TEACHER:” Last year u were in love with that girl & this year u r in love with other..
- What do u think of urself ??
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- Engg Student:”SEMESTER” change.
- ===============================
- Aftr engagemnt!
- Girl:Now stop looking at girls, u r commited now!
- Boy:Oho what do u mean, if i m on diet, that doesn’t mean that i cant look at MENU . .
- Little Tom: Mam,will you punish me for something that I didn’t do ?
- Teacher : Not at all.
- Little Tom : That’s good. Actually i didn’t do my homework!
- ===============================
- Why Girls Live Longer Than Boys???? ..
- ..
- ..
- ..
- ..
- ..
- ..
- ..
- Scientific Studies Have Proved That ..
- ..
- ..
- “SHOPPING”
- Never Causes HEART ATTACKS, But, .
- ..
- “PAYING The “BILLS” Does.
- ===============================
- Husband To wife – “Wow Darling.., The House is So clean..!!! Was the Whatsapp Server down today…???”
- Wife : No
- Husband : (surprised !!!)
- .
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- Wife : I lost my phone charger, had to put things in place to look for it……….
- ===============================
- I Cried When I Failed In 2 Subjects,
- .
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- But
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- I laughed When I Came To Know My Friend Failed In 5 Subjects……..
- ===============================
- I Hate When Teachers Say
- .
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- .
- .
- .
- You Should Know This
- You Learned This in 10th standard !
- .
- Damn :
- .
- .
- .
- I Don’t Even Remember
- What U taught in Last Lecture….
- ===============================
- Husband sent a text to his wife at night, “Hi I will get late, please try and wash all my dirty clothes and make sure you prepare my favorite dish before I return.”
- He sent another text, “And I forgot to tell you that I got an increase in my salary at the end of the month I’m getting you a new car”
- She texted back, “OMG really?”
- Husband replied – “No I just wanted to make sure you got my first message”….!!!
- ===============================
- Tom stood up in the aeroplane & shouted
- “HIJACK…”
- Everyone started crying and screaming. . . .
- .
- .
- .
- .
- .
- .
- .
- Then JACK stood up
- &
- replied
- “HI Tom .!!!”
- ===============================
- E-Mail This
- Question: “How to kill an ant?”
- Asked in an exam for 10 marks!
- Student:
- Mix chilli powder with sugar,& Keep it outside the ant’s hole
- After eating, ant will search for some water near a water tank. Push ant in to it!
- Now ant will go to dry itself near fire, When it reaches fire, put a bomb into d fire!
- Then admit wounded ant in icu! And then remove oxygen mask from it’s mouth and kill the ant 😐
- Moral: Don’t play with students! They can do any thing for 10 marks!!!!!!!!!
- ===============================
- Girlfriend setting password for her laptop with boyfriend sitting beside her.. .
- .
- . She types “BRAIN” as password
- .
- .
- .
- Boyfriend fell down of his chair laughing, Bcoz .
- .
- .
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- Laptop replied: “TOO SMALL “…
- ===============================
- 80% Of Teachers are Suffering From Throat Pain by Teaching Students.
- So Plz.
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- .
- .
- .
- .
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- BUNK the Classes As Much As Possible and Save the Teachers !!!
- ===============================
- Husband wife watching an a Cricket match together :
- After 5 minutes:
- Wife : Is this Bret Lee ??
- Husband : No, this is Chris Gayle, Bret Lee is a bowler..
- Wife : Okay, oh look, another wicket..
- Husband : No, this is just a replay of the last one..
- Wife : Hmm, looks like India is going to win this one..
- Husband : It’s Austraila V/s west Indies
- Wife : How many runs they need to win now ??
- Husband : 72 runs in 36 balls..
- Wife : Ehnn! That’s easy, just 2 runs in 1 ball..
- Husband : *Turns off the TV*
- Wife : Turns it on again and starts watching “Daily serial”
- Husband : Who is she ??
- .
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- Wife : don’t disturb me………..
- ===============================
- Teacher:” What will u do after growng up.. ??
- .
- Student:” Facebooking
- .
- .
- Teacher:” No! I mean what will u Become…??
- .
- .
- Student:” Admin of facebook pages
- .
- .
- Teacher:” O My G0d! I Mean what will u Achieve after u grow up…??
- .
- .
- Student:” Facebook Admin Rights
- .
- .
- Teacher:” Idiot! I Mean what will u do 4 ur Parents…??
- .
- .
- Student:” I create a page for them on facebooK. “I Luv Mom n Dad..
- .
- .
- Teacher:” Stupid! What do ur parents want from U…??
- Student:” My facebook password..
- .
- .
- Teacher:” Oh God! What is the purpose of ur Life ??
- .
- .
- Student:” Facebook but never face a book…
- ===============================
- A student was asked 2 write a signboard for the traffic rules near da college campus
- .
- .
- He wrote:-
- “Drive Carefully! Don’t kill the students,
- .
- .
- .
- .
- wait for the Teachers..!”
- ===============================
- Wife called hubby in office ..
- Wife – window is not opening .. What shall I do ?
- Hubby – Put some hot water n wait for while. It will open …
- Wife (lil unconvinced)- r u sure ?
- Hubby – ya trust me it will do the magic.. Try it ..
- (After a while hubby calls back to check) … Did u do as I told u ! Did it do the needful trick ?
- Wife – I don’t know about the trick or magic but NOW entire laptop is not starting…………………..
- ===============================
- A newly wedded girl was being welcomed at the husband’s home in a traditional manner.
- She was asked to give a little
- speech.
- She addressed as follows; My dear family members, i thank you for welcoming me in my new home and family“, she said “Firstly, with my presence i would not want to create any inconveniences by my being here. I mean that i don’t want you all to change your way of life, your routine.
- “What do you mean my child?” asked her Mother-In-Law.
- What i mean is; Those who used to wash dishes must carry on washing them. Those who used to do the laundry must carry on doing it.
- Those who cook should not stop on my account. Those who used to clean should continue cleaning. As for me, i am here just to control your son………
- ===============================
- Drunk man is stopped by the Police around 1 am. & is asked where he is going at this time of night.
- The man replies, “I am going to attend a lecture on alcohol abuse & ill effects on my health.”
- Officer: Really….??? Sounds interesting, Who is giving that lecture at this time of night…..???”
- …
- Man replies “My Wife”!!!
- ===============================
- The Teacher asked all the students in a class to write an essay on a cricket match.
- All were busy writing except Monu. He wrote “DUE TO RAIN, NO MATCH!”
- ===============================
- Dad writes on son’s wall
- “Son, how have you been? Your mom & I Am fine, We miss you a lot Please Turn off your PC & come down
- ===============================
- E-Mail This
- Preeto to maid: Oh Kanta, I have reason to suspect that my husband is having an affair with his secretary.
- Kanta: I don’t believe it! You are just trying to make me jealous.
- ===============================
- Sweet Letter Written By a Small Child To Lays Company.
- Dear Lays Chips Manufacturer.
- You Forgot To Mention 1 Thing Under ingredients.
- 75% AIR.
- ===============================
- A man buys a ticket for Rs 100 and wins the lottery of 1 crore. He goes to claim it.
- Man: I want Rs 1 crore.
- Lottery Agent: We give you 10 lakh today. The rest amount will be paid in next 6 months.
- Man: Oh, no! I want all my money right now. If you don’t do it today, then I want my Rs 100 back.
- ===============================
- Teacher: How to kill a mosquito?
- Student: Catch it alive,
- Tie its legs
- then make gudgudi in its stomach
- and when it laughs,Catch its mouth
- & pour a spoon of Poison
- ===============================
- My manager started like this “Hi, I am Madhu, Married with two kids”
- ===============================
- Tomorrow Call Your parents especially mother and father.
- ===============================
- Once Teacher Told “If you talk so loudly I will stand upping you”
- ===============================
- This is what my manager said, “Peoples, please sit down and take your seats”
- ===============================
- I have 3 daughters, all are girls
- ===============================
- Class teacher once said: “Pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin!”
- ===============================
- Once Hindi teacher said…. “I’m going out of the world to America.”
- ===============================
- Its a five minutes from home to the Bar.But its One hour walks from the Bar to home
- ===============================
- Teacher: Why are you late?
- Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
- Teacher: That’s nice. Were you helping him look for it?
- Student: No. I was standing on it.
- ===============================
- Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
- Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that Another person who is listening to him can’t understand him. Do you understand me?
- Son: No.
- ===============================
- Little Johnny: Teacher, can I go to the bathroom?
- Teacher: Little Johnny, May I go to the bathroom?
- Little Johnny: But I asked first!
- ===============================
- Patient: Doctor! You’ve got to help me! Nobody ever listens to me.
- No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say.
- Doctor: Next please!
- ===============================
- Patient: Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.
- Doctor: Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.
- ===============================
- Examiner: Why are you under tension?
- Did you forget admit card, ID, or calculator?
- Student: No Sir!
- By mistake I have brought tomorrow exam’s pharray (Cheating material) today
- ===============================
- Little Johnny: Mam, will you punish me for something that I didn’t do ?
- Teacher: Not at all.
- Little Johnny: That’s good..Actually I didn’t do my homework!
- ===============================
- There are two types of studies:
- 1 – Hard subjects which cannot be studied.
- 2 – Easy subject that doesn’t need to be studied
- ===============================
- A student grabbed a coin, flipped it in the air & said,
- “Head, I go to sleep”
- “Tail, I watch a movie”
- If it stands on the edge “I’ll study”
- ===============================
- The funniest situation in student life when we have no idea what to write In the exam paper And the supervisor comes and says,
- “Please cover your answer sheet”
- The most “hungry + sad” moment
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- When you’re sitting in the examination hall,Feeling hungry
- &
- Then the invigilator is served Hot “tea with samosas”..
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- Exams are like Girl friends
- – Too many questions
- – Difficult to understand
- – More explanation is needed
- – Result is always fail!
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- I Cried When I Failed In 2 Subjects,
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- But
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- I laughed When I Came To Know My Friend Failed In 5 Subjects…
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- When you Feel Sad….To cheer up just go to the mirror and say, “Damn I am really so cute” you will overcome your sadness. But don’t make this a habit….. Because liars go to hell
- ===============================
- A mobile is like women – Talks non-stop, Costs a fortune, Disturbs when You Are busy and when You need them urgently …They have no service.
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- A Boy Was Going With His Girl Friend
- Friend Asked: Who Is She?
- Boy: My Cousin.
- The Friend Said: Last Year She Was My Cousin. ..!
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- I Will Gift You A Gold Ring With Diamond
- Boy: I Love You..
- Girl: Hahahahaha
- Boy: I Won’t Live Without You..
- Girl: Hahahahahahaha
- Boy: I Will Die For You..
- Girl: Hahahahahahahaha
- Boy: I Will Gift You A Gold Ring With Diamond..?
- Girl: Awwwww.. Promise ??
- Boy: Hahahahahahhahahahahahahaha
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- Boy: I want you …To be with me in a nice Restaurant
- To have candle light dinner…. & to say those sweet three words to you….
- Girl: What??
- Boy: “PAY THE BILL”
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- Style of break up:
- Boy bought gift for His Girl friend-
- Girl Friend: What the hell would I do with this rocket?
- Boy: You wanted stars ….. !
- Now sit on it and GET LOST
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- I am your girlfriend:
- Smart.
- Intelligent.
- Sweet.
- Talented.
- Excellent.
- Romantic.
- .
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- I Am Right ?
- .
- .
- In short I am your S.I.S.T.E.R.
- Boy: your teeth are like the stars
- Girl: oh.. Thanks
- Are they that much pretty?
- Boy: no, far away from each other.
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- Do you remember the day we traveled in a car?
- I put my dog out of the window, you put Your face out,Then people started shouting ‘TWINS TWINS’
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- Boy: how do I play the guitar????
- Girl: You should be on TV for your talent:|
- Boy: Am I so good???
- Girl: if you were on TV, I can at least switch it off
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- A Child was playing video game in his room.
- His mother enters:
- Mother: The weather is really good outside, Go and play outside.
- Child : Okay Mom!!
- The child takes the video joystick and goes out near the window and starts continuing his game!!
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- Young Girl Praying – Please God Marry Me With Intelligent Man.
- God Replied – That’s Impossible, Because Intelligent Men Don`t Get Married.
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- BED LUCK
- Girl: hi baby.
- Boy: hi my lovely..
- (sending failed)
- Girl: are u there…??
- Boy: yes ! yes i am here!
- (sending failed)
- girl: Are You ignoring me or what….??
- Boy: honey i Am not…. i Am here..
- (sending failed)
- girl: OK! it’s over: don’t You ever talk to me again!
- Boy: DAMN! go to hell !
- (message sent)
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- Teacher:- Okay,James In this exam you will be allowed 30 minutes for each question.
- James:- How long do I get for the answers?
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- You are A nice person
- but You have to do two things early in the morning…
- 1st- pray to God so that you can live….
- 2nd- take a bath so that others can live…
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- Two devils came in to my dreams.
- They said,
- “We want to disturb some good person.”
- I suggest them your name.
- They said,
- “We cannot disturb our boss
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- I just feel you,
- Whenever I feel you,
- I just miss you,
- Whenever i miss you,
- I just want to See You,
- Do you know why?
- It’s juts because…………
- ” I LOVE CARTOONS ”
- Difference between Ignorance & self-control?
- When You See mirror & You don’t laugh at yourself, that is ignorance!
- &
- When i look at you & i don’t laugh, that’s called self control
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- U Are Ultimate
- U Are Lovely
- U Are Likable
- U Are Unique
- In short ……
- U Are ULLU !!!
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- Ultimate insult..
- I Love your smile Because..
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- My favorite color is “YELLOW” !!
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- Husband & wife are like 2 tyres of a vehicle, If 1 punctures, the vehicle can’t move further
- Moral: always keep a spare tyre…
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- A man in Hell asked Devil: Can I make a call to my Wife?
- After making call he asked how much to pay.
- Devil: Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.
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- Husband asks:- Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
- It means…Without Information, Fighting every time!
- WIFE says:- No darling, it means:- With Idiot for Ever
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- Wife: honey what Are You looking for?
- Husband: nothing
- Wife: why have You been reading our marriage certificate For an hour ?
- Husband: I was just looking for the expiry date
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- Wife: Do you want dinner?
- Husband: Sure, what are my choices?
- Wife: Yes and no.
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- It is said that Husband is the head of the family,
- But
- Remember that wife is the Neck of the family.
- And the Neck can turn the Head exactly the way she wants.
- ===============================
- Having “WIFE” Is A Part of Living…
- But
- Having “GIRLFRIEND” Along With the “WIFE” Is Art of Living
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