{Every india shayari images 2017},hindi shayari,shayari in hindi,shayari hindie,love shayari in hindi,romantic shayari,now whatsapp face book shayari on love,hindi love shayari,shayari love,shayari image,funny shayari,hindi wallpaper,friendship shayaI,shayari wallpaper.

The first time I sang in the church c~hoir; two hundred people changed their religion
― Fred Allen
most funny quotes
-----------------------------------------------------
I used to be indecisive but now I am not quite sure
-----------------------------------------------------
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy a~nd I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too― Rodney Dan~gerfield
cute funny quotes
-----------------------------------------------------
I failed to make the chess team because of my height
-----------------------------------------------------
Age is an issue of mind over matterIf you don't mind, it doesn't matter
-----------------------------------------------------
I am so clever that sometimes I donunderstand a single word of what I am saying
-----------------------------------------------------
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair
-----------------------------------------------------
Now I started remembering why Idont remember anything!
-----------------------------------------------------
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education
-----------------------------------------------------
Experience is the comb life gives you after you lose your hair.
-----------------------------------------------------
My advice to you is to get married. ~If you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not you'll become a philosopher
-----------------------------------------------------
The old believe everything; the middle-aged suspect everything; the young know everything
-----------------------------------------------------
My father was stupid. He w~orked in abank and they caught him stealing pens
-----------------------------------------------------
Rarely is the question asked: is our children learning
-----------------------------------------------------
I used to sell furniture for a living. The trouble was, it was my own
-----------------------------------------------------

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man
-----------------------------------------------------
Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back
-----------------------------------------------------
Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go
-----------------------------------------------------
Everybody who is incapable of lear~ning has taken to teaching
-----------------------------------------------------
Whenever I’m caught betwe~en two evils, I take the one I’ve never tried.― Mae West
-----------------------------------------------------
I can be your best friend or your worst enemy. You seem to prefer the latter
-----------------------------------------------------
Politics is perhaps the only profession for which no preparation is thought necessary
-----------------------------------------------------
Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company
-----------------------------------------------------
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
-----------------------------------------------------
My mind wanders a lot, but fortunately it's too weak to go very far.― Bob Thaves
cute funny quotes on stupidity
-----------------------------------------------------
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience
-----------------------------------------------------
You know you're getting old whe~n the candles cost more than the cake
-----------------------------------------------------
The best way to get rid of a telemarketer is to ask them what they are wearing
-----------------------------------------------------
When you come to a fork in the ~road, take it
-----------------------------------------------------
Last night I dreamed I ate a te~npound marshmallow, and when I woke up the pillow was gone
-----------------------------------------------------
I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I really thought you already knew
funniest quotes
-----------------------------------------------------
Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else
-----------------------------------------------------
Do not worry if others do not understand you. Instead worry if you do not understand others― Confucius
-----------------------------------------------------
Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know
-----------------------------------------------------
I can resist everything except temptation
--------------------------------------~---------------
Marriage is the trium~ph of imaginationover intelligence. Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience
-----------------------------------------------------
Marriage is popular because it~ combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity
-----------------------------------------------------
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband
-----------------------------------------------------
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met
-----------------------------------------------------
Love is temporary insanity curable by marriage
-----------------------------------------------------
If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married
-----------------------------------------------------
All tragedies are finished by a death,
All comedies are ended by a marriage
-----------------------------------------------------
Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl
-----------------------------------------------------
I believe in love and marriage, but~ not necessarily with the same person
-----------------------------------------------------
I never knew what real hap~piness was until I got married; by then it was too late
most funny quotes about marriage
-----------------------------------------------------
Men are April when they w~oo, December when they wed
-----------------------------------------------------
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution
-----------------------------------------------------
By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher
-----------------------------------------------------
The husband who wants a happy marriage should learn to keep his mouth shut and his checkbook open
-----------------------------------------------------
When a girl marries, she exchanges the attention of many men for the inattention of one
-----------------------------------------------------
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her
-----------------------------------------------------
Love is blind but marriage is a real eye-opener
-----------------------------------------------------
Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, and suffering
best funny quotes on wedding
-----------------------------------------------------
Marriage is too interesting an ex~periment to be tried only once
-----------------------------------------------------
Marriage is a community consistin~g of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all, two
-----------------------------------------------------
A happy man marries the girl he loves; a happier man loves the girl he marries
most funny quotes about ~marriage
-----------------------------------------------------
If it weren't for marriage~, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
-----------------------------------------------------
Dammit, sir, it is your duty to get married. You can't be always living for pleasure
-----------------------------------------------------
It's a funny thing that when a man hasn't anything on earth to worry about, he goes off and gets married
-----------------------------------------------------
Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them
-----------------------------------------------------
Marriage halves our joys, ~doubles our griefs, and quadruples our expenses
-----------------------------------------------------
One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry
-----------------------------------------------------
My wife and I have the sec~ret to making a marriage last. Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food..... She goes Tuesday~s, I go Fridays.
-----------------------------------------------------
Men marry women with the hope they will never change. Women marry men with the hope they will change. Invariably they are both disappointed
-----------------------------------------------------
The longest sentence you can form with two words is “I do”
best funny quotes on wedding
-----------------------------------------------------
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse
-----------------------------------------------------
To keep your marriage brimmi~ng, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you're wrong, admit it; Whenever you're right, shut up
-----------------------------------------------------
About 80% of married m~en cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe
most funny quotes about marriage
-----------------------------------------------------
Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight
― Phyllis Diller
-----------------------------------------------------
I love being married. It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life
-----------------------------------------------------
He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry to get rid of
-----------------------------------------------------
I have always thought that every woman should marry, and no man
-----------------------------------------------------
A girl must marry for love, and ke~ep on marrying until she finds it
-----------------------------------------------------
I was married by a judge. I should~ have asked for a jury
-----------------------------------------------------
A man in love is incomplete until h~e has married. Then he's finished
-----------------------------------------------------
Men are April when they woo~, December when they wed
-----------------------------------------------------
When a man steals you~r wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her― Sacha Guitry
funny quotes on men
-----------------------------------------------------
When a girl marries, she exchanges the attention of many men for the inattention of one
-----------------------------------------------------
About 80% of married men cheat on their wives. The rest cheat in their dreams
best funny quotes about men
-----------------------------------------------------
A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it
-----------------------------------------------------
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man
-----------------------------------------------------
Men don't care what's on TV. They only care what else is on TV
-----------------------------------------------------
~
If I'm not back in five minutes, just wait longer
-----------------------------------------------------
For just one night let’s not be ~co-workers. Let's be co-people
-----------------------------------------------------
Time wounds all heels ~― Go West
-----------------------------------------------------
I'm a mog - half man, half dog. I'm my own best friend
-----------------------------------------------------
A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice chianti
-----------------------------------------------------
Gentlemen, you can't fight in here! This is the WAR ROOM!
-----------------------------------------------------
Women need a reason for having sex, men just need a place
-----------------------------------------------------
Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes
-----------------------------------------------------
When a man steals your wife, there is no~ better revenge than to let him keep her
-----------------------------------------------------
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every ~time I leave a man I keep his house
-----------------------------------------------------
Whatever you may look lik~e, marry a man your own age - as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight― Phyllis Diller
-----------------------------------------------------
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met
-----------------------------------------------------
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher
-----------------------------------------------------
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her
-----------------------------------------------------
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong
-----------------------------------------------------
I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me and the second one didn't
-----------------------------------------------------
Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
-----------------------------------------------------
A successful man is one who makes more ~money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man
-----------------------------------------------------
There are only three things women need i~n life: food, water, and compliments
-----------------------------------------------------
A woman can say more in a sigh~ than a man can say in a sermon
-----------------------------------------------------
As long as a woman can look ten years younger than her own daughter, she is perfectly satisfied
-----------------------------------------------------
Give a girl the right shoes and she can conquer the world
-----------------------------------------------------
A man never knows how to say goodbye; a woman never knows when to say it
-----------------------------------------------------
Every woman is wrong until she cries, and then she is right - instantly
-----------------------------------------------------
Women are meant to be loved, not to be understood.
-----------------------------------------------------
I love deadlines. I love the whooshing no~ise they make as they go by
-----------------------------------------------------
I always arrive late at the office, but I ~make up for it by leaving early
-----------------------------------------------------
By working faithfully eight ho~urs a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day
-----------------------------------------------------
All I've ever wanted was an honest week's pay for an honest day's work
-----------------------------------------------------
Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion
-----------------------------------------------------
I never put off till tomorrow what I can possibly do - the day after
-----------------------------------------------------
I love deadlines. I love th~e whooshing noise they make as they go by
-----------------------------------------------------
I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early
-----------------------------------------------------
If I had to live my life ag~ain, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner
-----------------------------------------------------
Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone
-----------------------------------------------------
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more pro~of― Rodney Dangerfield
Humorous Quotes
-----------------------------------------------------
I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars
-----------------------------------------------------
The only time a woman can really succeed in changing a man is when he is a baby
-----------------------------------------------------
Men are like bank accounts. The m~ore money, the more interest they generate
-----------------------------------------------------
Do not worry about avoiding t~emptation. As you grow older it will avoid you.
-----------------------------------------------------
One man's folly is another man's wife.
-----------------------------------------------------
As a child my family's men~u consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
-----------------------------------------------------
I always wanted to be somebody, but now I realize I should have been more specific.
-----------------------------------------------------
Bachelors think that 'marriage' is a word. Married people know that it's actually a sentence
-----------------------------------------------------
He taught me housekeeping; when I divorce I keep the house.
-----------------------------------------------------
My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.
-----------------------------------------------------
Belgium is a country invented by the British to annoy the French
-----------------------------------------------------
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets the more interested he is in her.
-----------------------------------------------------
Happiness is having a large, loving, car~ing, close knit family in another city
-----------------------------------------------~------
The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children
-----------------------------------------------------
Laugh and the world laughs wi~th you, snore and you sleep alone
-----------------------------------------------------:
Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot
-----------------------------------------------------
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading― Henny Youngman
short and most funny quotes
-----------------------------------------------------
War does not determine who is right - only who is left
-----------------------------------------------------
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband
-----------------------------------------------------
By the time a man realizes that his father was right, he has a son who thinks he’s wrong
-----------------------------------------------------
A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it
-----------------------------------------------------
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife
-----------------------------------------------------
When I was a boy the Dead Sea was only sick
-----------------------------------------------------
The reason grandparents and grandchildren get ~along so well is that they have a common enemy
-----------------------------------------------------
The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, an~d the second half by our children
-----------------------------------------------------
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, c~lose-knit family in another city
-----------------------------------------------------
It's not true that I had nothing on. I ha~d the radio on
-----------------------------------------------------
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met
-----------------------------------------------------
Belgium is a country invented by the British to annoy the French
-----------------------------------------------------
It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it's a depression when you lose yours
-----------------------------------------------------
I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant
-----------------------------------------------------
I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years
-----------------------------------------------------
A woman worries about the future until she gets~ a husband. A man never worries about his future until he gets a wife
-----------------------------------------------------
Love is talking about having children.~ Marriage is talking about getting away from children― Rodney Dangerfield
-----------------------------------------------------
Men have a better time than women; for one thin~g, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier
-----------------------------------------------------
A psychiatrist is a person who will give you expensive answers that your wife will give you for free
-----------------------------------------------------
Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others
-----------------------------------------------------
Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't, they'd be married too
-----------------------------------------------------
When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me
-----------------------------------------------------
Happiness is having a large, loving, carin~g, close-knit family in another city
-----------------------------------------------------
Recession is when a neighbor loses his jo~b. Depression is when you lose yours.
-----------------------------------------------------
All generalizations are false, including this one
-----------------------------------------------------
I don't care what is written about me as long ~as it isn't true
-----------------------------------------------------
By trying we can easily endure adversity. Anoth~er man's, I mean
-----------------------------------------------------
One of the keys to happiness is a bad me~mory
-----------------------------------------------------
When we talk to God, we're praying.~ When God talks to us, we're schizophrenic
-----------------------------------------------------
Always remember that you are abs~olutely unique. Just like everyone else

Every India Shayari Images

Pages

cute funny quotes

No comments :

Post a Comment