Latest best Funny SMS Message

An elderly husband and wife visit their doctor

when they begin forgetting little things.

Their doctor tells them that many people

find it useful to write themselves little notes.

When they get home, the wife says,

"Dear, will you please go to the kitchen

and get me a dish of ice cream?

And maybe write that down so you won't forget?"

"Nonsense," says the husband,

"I can remember a dish of ice cream."

"Well," says the wife, "I'd also like some

strawberries and whipped cream on it."

"My memory's not all that bad,

" says the husband. "No problem -- a dish of ice cream

with strawberries and whipped cream.

I don't need to write it down."

He goes into the kitchen;

his wife hears pots and pans banging around.

The husband finally emerges from the kitchen

and presents his wife with a plate of bacon and eggs.

She looks at the plate and asks,

"Hey, where's the toast I asked for?"

***************************************

Neend mujhey raat bhar aati hai kam ,
Shayad macharon ko bi mil gaya hai sanam

***************************************
Haqiqat samjho ya afsana,
Apna samjho ya baigana,

Hamara aapka rishta he purana,
Is liye farz tha aap ko batana,

kay garmiyan aa gayi hain,
Ab shuru ker do roz nahana!

jao nahao (,?. *,?.)

***************************************
Difference between Husband & gadha.

Ans:Husband gadha ban sakta hai,
but
Gadha itna bhi gadha nahi k husband bane!!

***************************************
Why love marriage
is better than arranged???
Because
"A KNOWN DEVIL
IS BETTER THAN
AN UNKNOWN GHOST"

***************************************
God has given many qualities to you,
Good look, personality, charm, intelligence,
And many more......this is call as
"Allah meherbaan to gadha bhi pehalwan..."

***************************************
Teacher : Correct the sentence,
"A bull and a cow is grazing in the field"

Student : "A cow and a bull is grazing in the field"
Teacher : How?

Student : Ladies first.

***************************************

2 men went 2 a callgirl.
1st went in and came out n said
"Na my wife is better."
2nd went in and came out n said
"U R right ur wife is much better."



***************************************
Sardar said to doctor:Pore jism main
kahin bhi ungli lagao to bohat dard hota hai,
Doctor suggested full body Xray
when he checked, Xray found fracture in "Ungli"

***************************************
A recently fired
stock trader said ...

"This is worse than divorce...
I have lost everything
and
I still have my wife..."

***************************************
Aftr engagemnt!
Girl:
Now stop looking at girls,u r commited now!

Boy:
Oho what do u mean,
if i m on diet,
that doesnt mean that i cant look at MENU . . :-D

***************************************
2 MEN TALKING

1st:
I am getting married because
I am tired of eating out,
cleaning house & doing laundry

2nd:
Strange,
I am taking divorce for same reasons!

***************************************
It's Perfectly Legal To
Kill Someone In Your
Dreams,
That's Why
I Wake Up With A Smile Everyday

Good Morning :-)

***************************************
Dil main he mere Dard-e-bhutto

"Dard-e-bhutto"
"Dard-e-bhutto"
Wo hasina wo nilam pari,,
hui thi wo election main khari,,
na jane kahan se goli chal pari,,
hamare lia ho gayi mushkil khari,,
Dil main hay mere
""Dard-e-Bhutto""
""Dard-e-Bhutto""

ha koi muqabla karne wala

***************************************
Jab barish hoti hai, Tum yaad aate ho.
Jab kali ghata chaye, Tum yaad ate ho,

Jab bheegte hain tum yaad aate ho,
Bataoo Meri umbrella Kab wapis kro ge!

***************************************

What's the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend,
that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife,
Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.


***************************************
U r a nice person...
but..U have to do 2 things early in the morning...
1st. pray to God so that u can live....
2nd.take a bath so that others can live....

***************************************
Catch her by her waist...
Bring her home..
Keep ur hand on her neck
Put ur lips on her lips
& have a ...
...nice drink...PEPSI

***************************************
Newspaper Mein News Lugi K
"50% Of Sardars Are Donkeys"

The Sardars Protested.

Next Day News Lagi K
"50% Of Sardars R Not Donkeys"

The Sardars Celebrated.
***************************************
Meri zindagi per faqat itna ehsan ker do,
Ik benam si mohabbat mere naam kerdo,
Ik subha ko milo aur shaam kerdo,
Aur sham tak mere ghar ka sara kam kerdo,

***************************************
Sardars Friend: Yaar,
Last Year The Name Plate Outside Your House
Read Santa Singh, B.A.
This Year It Reads Santa Singh, M.A.
When Did You Finish Your Masters Degree?
Sardar: You Dont Understand.
Last Year My Wife Died,
I Put B.A. To Indicate Bachelor Again.
Then I Took A Second Wife, So M.A. Is Married Again.

***************************************
When a Guy does Something Wrong!

Girl : You broke my Favorite Lamp!
Boy : It was an Accident... I didn't mean to..!
Girl : I can't believe you did this.
Boy : I'm Sorry.. !! :(

When a Girl does Something Wrong!

Boy : You Lost My Dog??!!!
Girl : It was an Accident. I didn't mean to!
Boy : I can't believe you did this.
Girl : I already feel bad about it..!! Stop making me feel Worse..!!
Boy : I'm Sorry..!!:(

***************************************
What? is a difference between
a Kiss, a Car and a Monkey?

A kiss is so dear,?
A car is too dear and
A monkey is U dear.


Ladies hostel caught Fire
It took 1 hour to bring the Fire under control
& another 3 hrs 2 bring d Firemen
under control.



***************************************
Man : How old is your father?
Boy : As old as me.
Man : How can that be?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born

***************************************
Wife came home with a goat.
Husband asked"Is bhains ko ghar kion lai ho?"
Wife:"Dikhta nahin, bakri hy!"
Husband:"Bakri se hi poch raha hon"

***************************************
Wife:What is 10 years with me?
Husband:A second.

Wife:What is $1000 for me?
Husband:A coin.

Wife: Ok give me a coin.
Husband:Wait a second

***************************************
Twinkle Twinkle little star,
You should know what you are,

And once you know what you are,
Mental hospital is not so far.

***************************************
Meri zindagi per faqat itna ehsan ker do,
ik benam si mohabbat mere nam ker do,

ik subha ko milo aur shaam ker do,
Aur sham tak mere ghar ka sara kaam ker do:p

***************************************
Impact of Movies:

Teacher :- Who is Mahatma Gandhi?

Student:- He is the one who helped
Munna Bhai to impress his girlfriend!

***************************************
U are a BITCH

Beautiful
Intelligent
Talented
Cute
Hilarious

r u smiling now?
?
?
?
*YOU ARE REALLY BITCH*


Pay My Regards To Ur Father
Who Is Tolerating Such A Dumb Duffer Child,
What A Stamina He Has Got..
I Salute Ur Father:p

Happy Father's day



***************************************
There are two type of studies:

1 - hard subjects which Cannot be studied.
2 - easy subject that Doesn't need to be studied

***************************************
What happens when a lion roars thrice?
-
-
-
-
-
Think
-
-
-
-
-
Any guess?
-
-
-
-
-
Ok i will tell you..
-
-
-
-
-
Tom & jerry cartoon begins!

***************************************
Boy: I Love You..?
Girl: Hahahahaha

Boy: I Won't Live Without You..?
Girl: Hahahahahahaha
...
Boy: I Will Die For You..?
Girl: Hahahahahahahaha

Boy: I Will Gift You A Gold Ring With Diamond..?
Girl: Awwwww.. Promise ?
.
.
.
Boy: Hahahahahahhahahahahahahaha

***************************************
In a practical Exam
Examiner showed legs of bird n said:Tell the bird's name
Sardar:I dont know
Exminer: U r failed.Wats ur name?
Sardar: You see my legs, and tell me.

***************************************
Ultimate insult..

I Iove your smile becoz..
.
.
.
.
.
.
My favorite colour is "YELLOW"!! :D'

***************************************
Style of break up:
Boy bought gift for His Girl friend-
GF:Wat the hell would I do with this rocket?
Boy: U wanted stars na?
Now sit on it and GET LOST:p

***************************************
A Belated Teachers' Day

Its A Humble Request
"80% Of Teachers r
Suffering From Throat
Pain By Teaching Students."
So Plz
.
.
.
.
BUNK d Classes As Much
As Possible
n
Save Our Teachers



boy: how do i play the guitar????
girl: u should be on TV for ur talent :|
boy: am i so good??? :D :O

girl: if u were on TV,, i can atleast switch it off ;/



***************************************
for something that I didn't do ?

Teacher !: Not at all.

Little johnny : That's good.
Actually i didn't do my homework!

***************************************
Log ishq !kartay hain baray shor kay sath,
Humne bhi kia bare zor kay sath,
Lakin ab karain gay thoray ghor kay sath,
Kyunke kal usay dekha kisi aur kay sath.

***************************************
When u feel lonely and alone
& cannot see any one around you,
the world seems to be fading away,
come along with me
i'll take u to an eye specialist !!

***************************************
Hey U Know
Which is the best day to propose a girl.. April 1
U Know Why??
If she accept its you!r luck
otherwise just tell April Foooooll.

***************************************
Rose
Lotus
Tulip
Orchid
Sunflower
Jasmin
Lilly
All flo!wers r sweet but they have no comparison with u,
Kyun K
Gobhi K phool ki baat hi alag hai.

***************************************
A sardar ji pulled out 6 people from a burning house...
still he was in jail.......why?
coz all the 6 were fire brigade staff !

***************************************
Khuda ke Ghar say Kuch Gadhey farar hogaye
kuch to pakray gayai
kuch hamare yaar hogaye


What is the difference between
Monkey & Donkey ?
Monkey saves this message
&
Donkey deletes this message.

Choice is urs........:p



***************************************
Teri yaad dil se jane nahi denge,
Tere jesa dost khone bhi nahi denge,

Sharafat se roz SMS kia karo warna,
Ek kaan k niche denge or rone bhi nahie denge

***************************************
Judge:why did u shoot ur wife
instead of shootingher lover?

Sardar:Your honour,
it's easier to shoot a woman once,
than shooting one man every week.

***************************************
Height of coolness:
2 Guys coming out of the examination Hall with chips and coke in hands....
1st guy:which paper was it?
2nd guy:I think maths......
1st guy:(surprisingly) you read the question paper?
2nd guy: no I se!e a girl sitting besides me using calculator:>

***************************************
Height of Good Luck ...!

Teacher: Hey! Stand up.
Tell me !two pronouns.
.
.
.
Student: Who? Me?

Teacher: Very Good, Sit down :D

***************************************
Kion har bar mosam ki tarah badal jate ho,
Har bar hamara dil dukhatay ho,

Yeh bat sun ker hamari roh tak kanp gaye,
Ae dost tum masjidon se chapal or lote churate ho

***************************************
Bubbli got caugt on date
on Independance day
.
Major Rohail-
What is this?
.
Bubbli-
Dad today is freedom day,
so let me do what I want

***************************************
Do u know whats A B C D E F G?
A Boy Can Do E!verything For Girl

Now reverse da order, can u guess the full form of: G F E D C B A ?
Girls Fo!rgets Everything Done & Catches(new) Boy Again.




Sardar on phone:

Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now.

Doctor: Is this her first child?

Sardar: No this is her husband speaking....



***************************************
Man: Officer! There's a bomb in my garden!
Officer: Don't worry.! If no one claims it
Within three days, you can keep it.

***************************************
Father: Your teacher says she finds it
Impossible to! teach you anything!
Son: That's why I say she's no good!

***************************************
How woman calls their husband in first 6 years
Yr 1.Janu
Yr 2.O G.
Yr 3.Sunte ho?
Yr 4.O bunty k pappa
Yr 5.Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 6.Tum aate ho k main aaon?

***************************************
Examiner:y r u under tension?
Did u forget admit card,ID,or calculator?

studnt:No Sir!
By mistake i have bro!ught tomorrow
exam's pharray (Cheating material) today:-)

***************************************
A Good Teacher Is Who
Tells To Study Hard...

But,,

A Best Teacher Is Who
Stands Outside D
Ex!amination Hall N Shouts. . .

"OYE CHECKING WALE AA GAYE
APNI APNI PARCHIY CHUPA LO..." =P =D

***************************************Two Wise Ad!vises for Married Peoples

Never laugh at your wife's choices...
(You are on of them...)

Never be Pro!uf of Your Choices...
(Your Wife is one of them...)

***************************************A successful marriage is based
On give &! take:

Where husband gives money,
Gifts, dresses n wife takes it

&

Where wife gi!ves advices, lectures,
Tensions & husband takes it..!!