IF SOMEONE THROWS A
STONE
AT YOU, THROW A
flower AT THEM
BUT REMEMBER TO THROW
flower pot
WITH IT.
Tweet
The reason you look down
I want to be the reason
You look down
at your phone
and smile
then walk into the pole.
Tweet
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You and I are Friends
You and I are friends
If You Fall I Will Always Be There
TO PICK YOU UP
After I Stop Laughing.
Tweet
Having a Good Laugh
Having a good laugh
with friends stimulates endorphins,
The brain's natural painkillers.
So if you need to laugh
and you can't find a friend,
I can lend you a mirror.
Tweet
A text to English Teacher
DEAR EGNSLIH TECAEHR,
AS LNOG AS THE FSRIT &
LSAT LTETER R IN THE
SMAE PALCE, U CAN SILTL
RAED TIHS.
SINCERELY,
SLPELNIG IS NOT TAHT
IPMRONTAT
Tweet
A birthday gift for Girlfriend
I asked my girlfriend
what she wanted for
her birthday and she
replied
.
"nothing would make
me happier than
diamonds"
.
So I got her nothing.
Tweet
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People who make my Life amazing
I LOVE THE PEOPLE WHO ARE IN MY
LIFE AND MAKE MY LIFE AMAZING
.
I AM ALSO THANKFUL TO THOSE
PEOPLE WHO LEFT MY LIFE AND MADE
IT EVEN MORE FANTASTIC.
Tweet
Murder of English
Murder of English
.
1. Pick up the paper and fall in the dustbin
2. Both of you stand together separately
3. Why are you looking at the monkeys outside when I am inside
4. Will you hang the calender or else I will hang myself.
5. I have 2 daughters both are girls.
6. Give me a blue pen of any color.
7. The principal is revolving in the corridor.
8. All of u stand in a straight circle
9. Open the Window - Let the AirForce come in.
Tweet
Universe made up of...
Scientists say the
universe is made up of
Protons, neutrons
and electrons.
They forget to
Mention morons.
Tweet
Difference in Talent and God's gift
Man can give a lecture on
any subject for 2 hours
That is talent...
.
.
.
.
.
Girls can give a
lecture for 2 hours, without any
subject.
.
That is God's gift...
Most stupid questions people usually ask:
In Bus: A fat lady steps on my feet.
.
.
Lady: Sorry did that hurt you?
.
.
Me: Not at all.I'm on local anesthesia.Why don't you try again?
2) When they see me with shorter hair:
Hey have u had a hair cut?
.
.
Me:Nah! It's autumn, my hair's shedding.
3) When someone call's on land-line and asks
where r u?
.
.
Me: M in market with telephone around my neck..
Tweet
Does Education kills Common sense???
Common Sense
.
An Illiterate Father with his
educated Son went on a camping Trip,
They setup their tent 'n fell Asleep.
Some hours later, father wakes his son 'n asks:
"Look up to the sky 'n tell me what you see?
.
Son: I see millions of stars.
.
Father: What does that tell you?
.
Son: Astronomically,
It tells that there are
millions of galaxies 'n planets.
.
Father slaps the son hard 'n says:
... Idiot, someone has stolen our Tent!
Tweet
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What Politics means?
The word 'politics' is derived from
the word 'poly', meaning 'many',
and the word 'ticks', meaning
'blood sucking parasites'.
Tweet
Prediction of Jawaharlal Nehru
"At the stroke of the midnight
hour, when the world
sleeps India will awake ..." ~
Jawaharlal Nehru.
.
P.S: Nehru ji predicted about
Engineering Students &
Facebook in 1947.
Tweet
BIMAARI In Bollywood Style
1. Jiya Jale Jaan Jale,
Raat bhar Dhuwaan Chale= FEVER.
.
2. Tadap Tadap K Is Dil Se
Aah Nikalti Rahi= HEART ATTACK
.
3. Bidi Jalayile Jigar Se Piya
Jigar Ma Badi Aag Hai= ACIDITY.
.
4. Tujhme Rab Dikhta Hai
Yaara Main Kya Karu= MOTIYABINDU.
.
5. Tujhe Yaad Na Meri Aayi
Kisi Se Ab Kya Kahna= MEMORY LOSS.
.
6. Mann Dole Mera Tann Dole =MIRGI.
.
& D Best One,
.
..
...
7. Juda Hoke B TU
Mujhme Kanhi Baaki Hai= LOOSE MOTION..!!
Tweet
Secrets of Success in your Room
Eight Secrets Of Success You Can
Find In Your Room..!
¤
¤
¤
1. Roof Says - Aim High
2. Fan Says - Be Cool
3. Clock Says - Every Min Is Precious
4. Mirror Says - Reflect Before You
Act
5. Window Says - See The World
6. Calendar Says - Be Up To Date
7. Door Says - Don’t Miss The
Opportunity
¤
¤
¤
8. Bed Says - Sab Bakwas Hai...
Mast Chadar Odh...
fir se Soja..!!!
Tweet
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Apple Store
I farted in the Apple store and everyone got pissed.
Not my fault they don't have Windows.
Haha
Tweet
Little Boy with Mom
Little boy : Mom, what is a girlfriend ?
Mom : if you are a good boy, you will get one when you're older
Little boy : what if I'm a bad boy..
Mom : you will get many.
Tweet
4 Funny Facts of Marriage
1. Marriage is a relationship in which One
Person is always right and the other
is always Husband.
.
2. You can't buy love but you pay
heavily for it.
.
3. Wife and Husband always compromises,
Husband admit that he's wrong and
Wife too agrees with him.
.
4. Our language is called a Mother Tongue
because the father never gets a chance to speak..
Tweet
Baby, what r you doing?
Boyfriend on call:"hey baby, what r you doing.. ??
.
.
Girlfriend:"Sir dard kar raha hai jaanu
sone jaa rahi hu........
and you sweet heart.. ??
.
.
Boyfriend:"main Cinema Hall me, tere piche baitha
popcorn kha raha hu kamini..
Chinese Man Will Have A Wife & A
Girlfriend & Will Love His Wife More.
.
An African Will Have 2 Wives & 5
Girlfriends & Will Love His 1st Wife
More.
.
An English Man Will Have 1 Wife & 3
Girlfriends & Will Love His
Girlfriend's More.
.
.
.
.
An Indian Man Will Have 1 Wife & 4
Girlfriends & He Still Loves His
.
.
.
MUMMY More..
.
Bechaara....Maa ka Dulara...
Tweet
Funny Inspirational Messsage
IF UR IN LOVE:
- Make the best of it.
- Don't doubt anything.
- Enjoy it bcoz nothing lasts 4ever.
.
IF U JUST BROKE UP:
- Don't cry! Remembr that u had a gud time.
- Nvr stay alone! Ur friends are Der.
- Hug more people.
- Stop listening to sad music! It only make things worse.
.
IF UR SINGLE:
- Stay happy:)
- Hang out with friends and family.
- Try looking 4 someone
who you think is the best for u.
.
IF UR MARRIED:
-Game Over...
Just delete dis msg n get back to work.:
Tweet
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Awesome Answers..!
Awesome Answers :p
.
1- Principal: Are You Chewing
Gum?
Student: No, I'm Human Being..!!
.
2- Wife: We Are Having Mother For
Dinner Tonight.
Husband: But Darling, I'm
Vegetarian..!! How
Can I Eat Her??
.
3- Will These Stairs Take Me To
The 2nd Floor?
No, You'll Have To Walk As Well..!!
.
4- Girl: I Have Changed My Mind..!!
Boy: Thank God, But Does The
New One Works
Tweet
Har Ek Friend Kamina Hota Hai
A very very TRIPLE meaning Example
of
.
.
.
" HAR 1 FRIEND KAMINA HOTA HAI "
Ladka dost se :
yaar maine apni Girl Friend ko uski
birthday pe apni behan ki
new diamond ring chori ker k
gift de di..
.
Dost (Thappad maar kar) :
kaminey Itni mehngi kharidi thi maine
.
Ladka: saale marta kyun hai
tere ghar hi to wapis gayi hai :P
.
Ooh shit :)
Tweet
The Boy pokes a Girl
TEACHER: Who created
the earth?
(Boy pokes a girl's hand
with a pen)
.
GIRL: Oh God!!
.
TEACHER: Good girl..Right
answer.
.
TEACHER: Who was born
on 25 Dec???
(Boy again pokes the
girl)
.
GIRL: Oh Jesus !!
.
TEACHER : Very good..
.
TEACHER: What did Eve
tell Adam when they
had their 17th baby ??
(Boy pokes the girl yet
again)
.
GIRL: If u poke that
'thing' into me one more
time, I'm going 2 break
it into half..
The teacher fainted..!!
Tweet
Can you speak English..?
-DO you speak english?
-Yes
-Name?
-Abdul al-Rhasib
-Sex
-Three to five times a week.
-No, no...I mean male or female?
-Yes, male, fe-male, sometimes ca-mel.
-Holy cow!
-Yes, cow,sheep,animals in general.
-But isn't it hostile?
-Horse style, doggy style, any style!
-oh dear!
-No, no! Deer runs too fast..
.
Moral - English is not that easy..
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Laughing at your own Mistakes
"Laughing at your own mistakes
can lengthen your life."
.
--Shakespeare
.
.
"Laughing at your wife's mistakes
can shorten your Life."
.
--Shakespeare's Wife
Tweet
Incredible Human Mind..!
I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod
aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I
was rdanieg The phaonmneal
pweor of the hmuan mnid
Aoccdrnig to rscheearch taem
at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it
deosn't mttaer in waht oredr
the ltteers in a wrod are, the
olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht
the frist and lsat ltteer be in
the rghit pclae. The rset can
be a taotl mses and you can
sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.
Tihs is bcuseae the huamn
mnid deos not raed ervey
lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a
wlohe. Such a cdonition
is arppoiately cllaed "Typoglycemia" :)-
Amzanig huh?
Yaeh and yuo awlyas
thought slpeling was ipmorantt...
Tweet
Theory and Practice
Theory is when you know
everything but nothing
Works.
Practice is when every thing
Works but no one knows
Why.
In our lab, Theory and
Practice are combined:
nothing Works and
no one knows Why..
Tweet
Life is also like pizza
PIZZA always confuses:
it cums in square box
when open it's Round
& when start eating it's
Triangle:)
life is also like pizza
Dikhta kuch aur hota kuch:)
GOOD MORNING, HAVE A NICE DAY.
The nightmare birthday gift!!
.
Its Jim's birthday,
so his wife decides to surprise him,
she takes him to a Strip Club.
.
At the club -
.
DOORMAN: Hey Jim! How are you?
.
WIFE: How does he know you?
.
JIM: We play Golf together!
.
BARTENDER: The usual beer Jim?
.
WIFE: And how does he know you?
.
JIM: He's on the Bowling Team!
.
HOT STRIPPER: The special Lap Dance again, Jim?
.
The Wife storms out.....
dragging Jim with her, into a taxi!
.
TAXI DRIVER: Hey Jimmy boy....
You picked an ugly one this time...Same Hotel?
Tweet
Pyaar ki Application
Pyar ki Application :D :D
.
To
.
The Jaaneman,
I Love yOu Baby :)
.
Subject :- Love is Life
.
Dear Jaan,
I Beg to say that
.
I am A student Of your heart
My Dil is very ill
it is dhadking many time in
A minute
So kindly give me a Kiss :P :D
.
Thanks
Your's Lover
Name :- Pyar ka mara
Class :- Dil hai tum hara
Roll No :- 143 :P
.
HIT LIKE 4 THIS APPLICATION....
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Milk v/s Vodka
They say milk gives you strength
so I drank 5 glasses and
still couldn't move a wall,
.
I tried 13 shots of vodka
and saw the wall move by itself!
Tweet
Talking Whiskey
A man was sipping his whiskey,
while sitting on the balcony
with his wife and he says,
"I love you so much,
I don't know how
I could ever live without you."
.
The wife asks, "Is that you,
or the whiskey talking?".;;)
.
He replies, "It's me....talking to the whiskey. :
Tweet
Funny English Language
English is a funny language
.
An oxymoron is usually defined
as a phrase in which two words
of contadictory meaning
are brought together:-
1. Clearly misunderstood
2. Act naturally
3. Exact Estimate
4. Found Missing
5. Small Crowd
6. Fully Empty
7. Pretty Ugly
8. Seriously Funny
9. Only Choice
10.Original Copies
.
And the Mother of all....
11. Happily Married
Tweet
Like his Mother used to do
A WOMAN'S POEM
.
He didn't like the casserole,
and he didn't like my cake.
He said my biscuits were too hard,
not like his mother used to make.
I didn't perk the coffee right,
he didn't like the stew,
I didn't mend his socks
the way his mother used to do.
I pondered for an answer
I was looking for a clue.
Then I turned around
and smacked the shit out of him.
Like his mother used to do.
Tweet
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A Little skinny guy
A skinny little guy goes into an elevator,
looks up and sees this HUGE guy
standing next to him.
The big guy sees the little guy staring at him,
looks down and says:
“7 feet tall, 350 pounds,
20 inch private,
3 pound testicles,
Turner Brown.”
.
The little guy faints and falls to the floor.
The big guy kneels down and starts shaking him.
The big guy says, “What's wrong with you?”
.
In a weak voice the little guy says,
“What EXACTLY did you say to me?”
.
The big dude says,
“I saw your curious look and figured
I'd just give you the answers
to the questions everyone always asks me...
I'm 7 feet tall,
I weigh 350 pounds,
I have a 20 inch private,
my testicles weigh 3 pounds each,
and my name is Turner Brown.”
.
The small guy says,
“Turner Brown.....?!
Sweet Jesus, I thought you said,
.
.'Turn around!"
Tweet
Police v/s Drunken Man
A Drunken man is stopped by the Police
around 1 am & is asked
where he is going at this time of night.?
.
The man replies,
"I am going to a lecture on
alcohol abuse & ill effects on my health."
.
Officer : Really ?...Sounds interesting,
who is giving that lecture at this time of night?"
.
Man replies,
Obviously.. "My Wife"!!
Tweet
A Love letter of Biscuit maker
Biscuit maker’s Luv Letter:
.
Dear Marie yesterday was a very Good Day,
our meeting was truely Nice,
but the chance of our Luv is 50-50
coz ur dad is a Tiger.
Will u give ur Little Heart 2 me?
Otherwise I’ll become a Krack-Jack...
Tweet
Living in a Funny World
If money doesn't grow on trees
Then why do banks have branches?
.
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
.
Why doesn't glue sticks to its bottle?
.
Why do you still call it building
when its already built?
.
If its true that we are here to help others,
Then what re others here for?
.
If you aren't supposed to Drink and Drive
Then why do Bars have parking lots?
.
We are a funny bunch of people.
Living in a seriously funny world..
.
Hit Like if u agree..
5 friends lived in a room,
namely Mad, Brain, Fool, Somebody & Nobody.
One day,
Somebody killed Nobody.
That time brain was in bathroom,
Mad called police.
Mad: Is it police station?
Police: Yes, what is the matter?...
Mad: Somebody killed Nobody!
Police: Are you mad?
Mad: Yes, I am Mad.
Police: Don't you have brain?
Mad: Yes we have..
But Brain is in bathroom.
Police: YOU Fool!
Mad: No, Fool is reading this very seriously
Tweet
Thomas Edison Quote
I m a great fan of Thomas Edison,
Because of his quote dat...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Tomorrow is my exam but I dnt
care Because a single sheet of paper
cannot decide my future
Tweet
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Kissing a Girl
kissing a girl on her forehead is respect,,
Kissing a girl on her cheek is care,
Kissing a girl on her eyes is care & love,
Kissing a girl on her lips is love,
but Kissing a girl
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
in front of her boyfriend.....
HUD HUD DABANGG DABANGG DABANG
Tweet
Names of B.F and G.F numbers
Ladkiya apne bf ka
name phone me
kaise save karti hai,
.
1. My luv
2. Sweetu
3. Darling
4. Swthrt
5. Honey baby
6. Jaanu
.
Aur ladke apni gf
ka name aise save
karte hai,
1. Sonu halwai
2. Rashid Plumber
3. Bhola foji
4. Sarpanch
5. Hawaldar
6. Bittu langda
7. Pappu mistri
8. Customer car
Tweet
Engineering Student in Viva
Engineering Student in viva :
.
Examiner to Student: which type of electrical
transmission wire system is used for high
voltage transmission.
.
Student: 3 Phase.
.
Examiner: How many wires are needed?
.
Student: 3 wires, one for each phase.
.
Examiner: Then, what is the fourth one in some
cases?
.
.
.
.
.
Student: The 4th may be for the birds to sit.
Tweet
The Power of Mathematics
Power of Maths:
.
One day a box wasn't opening.
.
Lawyer came,
applied all laws but it didn't open..
.
Chemist came,
applied all reactions but it didn't open..
.
Physician came,
applied all forces but it didn't open..
.
Then mathematician came and said....
.
.
.
.
.
Let us assume that the box is open..! :D :P
.
Bas fir kya
kahani khatam! :P..
Kisi ko koi doubt hai..???
Tweet
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Difference between Potentiality and Reality
The youngest son in a family asked his father,
"Daddy, Please tell me, what is the
difference between potentiality and reality ?
.
Dad : "wait, I will show you Now."
.
He turned to his wife & asked :
Honey, would you sleep with Bill Gates for $20million?
.
Wife : "Yes, I would never waste such an opportunity."
.
Then dad turned to his daughter :
Kate, Would u sleep with Tom Cruise for $20million?
.
Daughter : "Yes, That is my Biggest Dream."
.
Dad then turned to his older son :
Son, would You sleep with Brad Pitt for $10million ?
.
Son : "Wow, Yes, imagine what I'll do with that huge money".
.
Finally, Dad turned to his youngest son and said. YOU SEE, "Potentially"
.
we're sitting on $50million but in "reality"
.
we are living with two Prostitutes and one Gay.
Tweet
Pathan Pappu aur Santa
3 log airpot p khde
apni apni biwiyo ka intezar kr rhe te....:)
.
Pathan- vo dekho hmari shaahzadi aa rhi h....:>
.
.
.
Pappu - vo dekho hmari bhi nawabzadi aa rhi h...:p
.
.
.
.
Santa- vo dekho hmari bhi haramzadi aa rhi h
Tweet
Longest Toilet in the World
Which is longest toilet in d world ..!!
.
.
.
Ans: Indian Railway Track
.
U can use it frm
kashmir 2 kanya-kumari.
.
Aaisi aazadi aur kahan.
Tweet
Our Friendship means a lot to me
I want u to know dat
our friendship means a lot 2 me.
U cry I cry.
U lauf I lauf.
If u jump out of da window...
I look down & den..
.
.
.
I Lauf again..
Ha ha ha ha...
Husband : (calls up Hotel Manager from Room)
Please Come Fast,
I am Having an Argument with My Wife &
She Says She will Jump
from ur Hotel Window.
.
Manager : Sir, I am Sorry,
But this is Your Personal Issue
.
Husband : U Idiot!
The Window's not Opening.
This is a Maintenance Issue !!!
Tweet
A Girl on her Scooty
A boy was driving a car.
.
A girl on scooty overtook him..
.
Boy shouted, "Hey Buffalo"
.
Girl turned back n shouted..
you donkey, Idiot, stupid monkey"
.
Suddenly she had an accident..
.
.
.
She was hit by a Buffalo crossing d road..
.
Morals: "Girls never understand
what a boy wants 2 say.
Tweet
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Cooking a Deer
A man kills a DEER & cooks it &
doesn't tell kids wat is it?
He gives them a Clue
.
"It's wat ur Mom calls me every time!".
.
One of the Son shouted: "Koi mat khana,
.
.
Kutta hai Kutta....!!
Tweet
Pakistani boy in an American school
A Pakistani boy took
admission in an American school..
.
Teacher : Whats ur name ?
.
Boy : Nadir
.
Teacher : No, now u r in America,
Ur name is Johnny from today.
.
Boy went home and mom asked:
How was the day Nadir?
.
Boy : I'm an American now, call me Johnny.
.
Mom and Dad both got
offended and beat him up.
Next day he was back to school..
.
Teacher : What happened Johnny?
.
Boy: Ma'am, just 6 hours
after when I became American
.
.
.
.
I was attacked by two Pakistani terrorists.;-)
Tweet
Most Angry moment in our Life
That Angry Moment!
.
.
.
.
When a small kid hits u on ur testicles hardly
widout any reason in front of his mom or dad
& u
can't do anything but smile n say
.
.
.
.
"kitna cute hai (Sala kutta)":P
Tweet
A machine to catch thieves
Americans invented a machine 2 catch thieves..
.
Test started ....
.
America: In 30 mins, 50 caught
.
London: In 30 mins, 70 caught
.
Spain: In 30 mins 100 caught
.
India: In 15 min,
.
.
.
.
.
.
"the Machine itself got stolen!" ;)
Tweet
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Ishq Da Rog
Kaise mumkin tha
Kisi or doctor se Ilaaj krna..?
.
..
...
Ishq ka rog tha..
.
..
...
mummy ki chappal se hi aram aaya...
.
<(",)
( (> aaeeee
< L
mummmeyy....
Tweet
Lover v/s Chand
Love lines:
"Ek raat ik Shakhs ne
Chand se poocha ki,
.
Ae chaand Bata
mera mehboob kya kar raha hai.. ??
.
.
.~
Chand bola:"dekh saale"..
Pehli baat toh yeh ki main
Tere baap ka naukar nahi hoon.
.
Doosri baat ye ki
itni upar se Kuch nahi dikhta.
.
.
.
Teesri baat ye ki Chichhora pan
Tum log zameen tak hi Rakho,
mujh ko isme ghasito mat..
Tweet
Pagal Ladkiya
HEIGHT OF BAD LUCK for a Girl... :D
.
Boy: Marry Me.. ??
.
Girl: Do You Have A House.. ??
.
Boy: No..
.
Girl: Do You Have A BMW Car..??
.
Boy: No..
.
Girl: How Much Is Your Salary.. ??
.
Boy: No Sala~ry.. But,..
.
Girl: No But. You Have Nothing..
How Can I Marry You..?? Please Leave!!
.
.
Boy: (Talk To Himself) I Have One Villa,
3 Property Lands,
3 Ferrari, 2 Porsche..
Why I Still Need To Buy BMW.. ?? :O
.
How Can I Get The Salary When
Actually I'm The BOSS..:)) :p :O :/ :D
.
pagal Ladkiya...:
Tweet
Research on Girls and Boys
Research Says That:
.
Girls Take 3 Days To Judge A Boy,
Whether She Like~s Him Or Not.
.
.
.
But Boys Take O~nly Three Seconds..!!
.
.
1st Second:"Kya Ladki Hai Yaar
.
2nd Second: Mast Hai Yaar
.
.
.
.
3rd Second:"Bhai Mujhe Pyar Ho Gaya.
Girl - Us dress ki price kya he?
.
Dukandar- 1000 rs..
.
Girl- awwwwww
.
.
.
Aur us pink wale dress ki....
.
.
.
Dukandar- awwwwww +
awwwwww
Tweet
End of World 2012
Breaking News..!!
.
END OF T~HE WORLD, which
was scheduled for 2012
has been POSTPONED to 3012,
due to some technical problems!
.
So, PLEASE ~CO-OPERATE
and CONTINUE LIVING
with a same SPIRIT
.
THAnk YOu
.
Keep Smiling
&
Have a Nice Day
Tweet
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Marne Se Pehle Kuch Karo
Purani soch: "Karo ya Maro."
.
Nayi soch: "Marne se Phle kuch karo!"
.
Ekdam Nayi soch: "Jab tak kuch kar nahi lete ,maro mat!"
.
Santa ki Soch: Koi Bataega.. Saala karna kya hai...??
Tweet
Teacher v/s Punjabi Munda
Teacher To Studen~t: Sanu Murgi Ki Dendi Ae?
.
Punjabi Student: Mam Pata Ni…
.
Teacher Again: ~Aapne Desh Da
“Father Of Nation” Kaun Ae?
.
Punjabi Student: Mam Pata Ni…
.
Teacher: Saanu Vaddo Vadd Kini
Speed Te Drive Karni Chahidi Ae?
.
Punjabi Student: Pata Ni…
.
Teacher: Chal Kal Yaad Karke Aayi, Ok?
.
Next Day At School Teacher
Chalo Sunao Ki Yaad Karke Aya?
.
Punjabi Student: Mam, Mahatama Gandhi Ji
Sanu 90 Di Speed Limit Te Eggs Dinde Ne.
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Terrible English
Terrible English by a P.T sir:
.
1) There is no wind in the football.
.
2) I talk, he talk, why you middle middle talk?
.
3) you rotate the ~ground 4 times.
.
4) you go and understand the tree.
.
5) I'll give you slap.
.
6) Bring your parents and your mother and
especially your ~father.
.
7)Close the window airforce is coming.
.
8)I have two daughters and both are girls.
.
9) Stand in a straight circle.
&the best one...
.
10)Why Haircut not cut..?:D
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Result of Generation Gap
Finally, I told my parents
that I want a Blackberry or An Apple..
.
.
.
.
My Mother said:
.
.
.
.
. "Ghar mein Mosambi padi hai, pehle woh kha..
.
.
Ufffff...ye generation gap...
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Sabse Bada Rupaiyaa
Mother: Son I'm sorry I had a rltnship
with someone and we have crossed our limits
and that is not your dad 23
years ago. And that person
w~hich i had a rltnship is your real father.
Son: Mum, what rubbish! How am
I to deal with this?
Mother: I ~am sorry he was my first
love and I could not marry him..
'cause we are of different religion.
He is on the phone at the moment
and wants to speak with his son
for the first time ever.
Son: No i am speaking to no one.
Mr. Trivedi is the only father i
know and so will that be.
Mother: Please don't be so upset.
Just talk to him.
Son: Ok, I will give him a piece of
my mind!
Phone: Morning Son, I am Mukesh
Ambani. I am your real father.
Son: Maa ki Aaaannkkhhh... Dad!
Dad! Dad!!! Thank God!
Ohhhhhhhhhhhh Thank God!!!!!!
Luv u so much Dad!!!! I always
knew there was something
special about me..
Thank you soooo much mum.
You are the best m~um in d world!
.
Moral: Na Baap
Bada Na Bhaiy~a Sabse Bada
Rupppaiyaaaa..
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Dil Ki Dhadkan He Ruk Gyi
Dil ki dhadkan he ruk gyi....
.
.
.
.jb light gyi or kaam wali bai boli....
.
.
.
.
.wot d hell is dis
.
.
.u dont hv invortor...:
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Soha Ali K~han hosting a Marathi channel
~
After "Koffee with Karan" ,
.
one Marathi channel told
Soha Ali khan to host a show
.
.
.called
.
.
."Poha with Soha"
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AUTOMETICALLY kya hota hai??
Pappu : Yeh, AUTOMETICALLY kya hota hai..
Pinku : Oye tuje itna b nhi pata..
.
.
.
Jb auto me koi ganji ladki
ja rahi ho to kehte hain,
;
;
;
;
;
AUTO-ME-TAKLI..
thoko like pinku ke liye
Two girls are traveling in a train
Girl:-1: Tujhe kaisa pati chahiye??
Girl-2: Mujhe Crorepati chahiye.
Girl-1: Crorepati na miley to ??
Girl-2: 50 lakh ke 2~ pati chaleñge.
Girl-1: 50 lakh ke na miley to ??
Girl-2: 25 lakh ke 4 pati bhi chaleñge.
.
.
.
.
UPPER birth pe soya hua Pappu bola:
Jab Ye 1000 ~Rupiye Pe Aa
Jaye to Mujhe Utha Dena ..!!
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A short walk is so Difficult
A short walk is so Difficult
When no one walks with u.
But a long Journey is just like a
few steps when,
,
...
,
,
,
,
.
.
.
.
.
,
,A street dog is running behind u!
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Ways to catch a Tiger
5 ways to catch a tiger
1.Newtons law: Allow the tiger to catch you, then you
catch the tiger
2.Einstein law: Chase the tiger until the tiger becomes
tired, then you catch the tiger .
3.Inverse law: Get into a cage kept near a tiger. Then take the inverse.
4Veerappan's law: Kidnap tiger's wife & threaten the
tiger to surrender.
5 Police method: Catch a cat & beat it until it agrees
that it is a tiger 8-)
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Dangerous weapons in the World
THE
TWO
DANGEROUS
WEAPONS
IN
THE
WORLD
MORE
POWERFUL
THAN
NUCLEAR
BOMBS
1. A Girl’s Smile.
2. A Girl’s Tears.
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Whom should I call now
Wife: Look a thief has entered our kitchen
and he is eating the cake I prepared.
Funny Husband: Whom should I call now,
Police or Ambulance...?
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Rascal!! Beggar
Wife : I hate that beggar.
Husband : Why?
Wife : Rascal, yesterday I gave
him food today he gave me a book
"How to Cook" !!
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Father’s Furniture sale business
Teacher asked to the student:
What is your father doing?
Student replied: “Furniture sale business.”
Then teacher asked again:
“How is your father business going on?”
Student answered, “Very Well !
We have now only our bed at home.”
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Dear Math
Dear Math,
I am sick and tired of
finding your 'X'.
.
.
.
Just accept the fact
that she is gone.
Move on, Dude.
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I wish I was a Newspaper
Wife: I wish I was a newspaper
so I would be in ur hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that u were
a newspapers so I could have
a new one everyday.
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Source of Finance
Commerce professor asks the student:
what is the most important source
of finance for starting business?
Student: "Father in law".
Kahin dooor...
1 gao me.. Jab raat me bachcha sota nahi
tab uski ma use kehti hai
Soja beta soja... Varna
.
varna
.
Varna!
.
Doosra kaise hoga?
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Indian states in English version
1=Large State "Maha-Rastra" .
2=Place of Kings "Raja-Sthan" .
3=Mr. City "Shri-Nagar" .
4=Rhythm of Eyes "Nayni-Tal" .
5=Face "Surat" .
6=Unmarried Girl. "Kanya-Kumari" .
7=No Zip. "Chen-Nai" .
8=Come in Evening. "Aa-Sam" .
9=Go and Come. "Go-Aa" .
10=Answer State. "Uttar-Pradesh" .
11=Make Juice. "Bana-Ras" .
12=Do Drama. "Kar-Natak" .
13=Green Gate. "Hari-Dwar" .
Amazing INDIA.
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Terror-Horror and Tragedy
Tension – When Wife Is Pregnant.
Terror – When Girlfriend Is Pregnant.
Horror – When Both Are Pregnant.
Tragedy – When You Are Not Responsible For Both.
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A Warning on a Girl's T-shirt
Written on the T-Shirt of a girl:
STATUtoRY WARNING:
Objects inside the T-Shirt are
larger then they appear from outside.
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A Successful man and women
Thought of d day:
A successful man is 1 who makes
more money than his wife cn spent..
& A successful women is 1
who can find such a man...
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Marry and make a woman happy
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY :
"Marry and make a woman happy....
OR remain a bachelor and
make several women happy..!!"
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Ek Baat Hume Bahut Satati Hai
“Na jane kyu rhe rhe ke
ek baat hume bahut satati hai,
karwa chauth karti hai tumhari bibi
umar humari kyu bad jati hai.”
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Whom do u like most Mummy or Papa?
Papa: Whom do u like most Mummy or Papa?
Kid: both!
Papa: Tell me only one.
Kid: both!
Papa: if i go America & ur mother go to Paris. Where u go?
Kid: Paris
Papa: This mean u like ur mother?
Kid: No. Paris is beautiful then America!
Papa: If i go Paris & ur mother go America so where u go?
Kid: America
Papa: Why?
Kid: bcuz i havent been there before . .
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Call Summary Analysis
Call Summary Analysis:
Boy 2 Boy = 00:00:59
Boy 2 Mom = 00:10:30
Boy 2 Dad = 00:02:36
Boy 2 Girl = 01:15:01
Girl 2 Girl = 00:29:59
Girl 2 Boy = 00:00:05
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