BEST NEW YORK LAWYER JOKES

1. A New York Divorce Lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. 
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3. Saint Peter asks him "What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?" 
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5. The Lawyer thought a moment, then said, "A week ago, I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street." 
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7. Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the record, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that this was true. 
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9. Saint Peter said, "Well, that's fine, but it's not really quite enough to get you into Heaven." 
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11. The Lawyer said, "Wait Wait! There's more! Three years ago I also gave a homeless person a quarter." 
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13. Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who after a moment nodded back, affirming this, too, had been verified. 
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15. Saint Peter then whispered to Gabriel, "Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?" 
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17. Gabriel gave the Lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter, "Let's give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell."