- It's funny, I get a little quieter with time. I don't want to c~hase my tail and one day repeat myself and repeat myself and ~one day have kids going to college and not have memories that I should, because I was too busy doing my thing.
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- I am the ultimate Calif~ornia girl, which is funny, being that I'm Canadian.
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- Stealing, you'll go far in life. Actually, there is something funny about getting away with it.
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- I don't really have funny things to say about politics. I wish I did, but I don't.
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- You never saw Peter Sellers the actor trying to make you laugh. All he was doing was the character. What I'm saying is that I don't think you should know you're in a movie. I don't like it when actors are winking at the audience and ~saying, 'Right, isn't this funny? Are you with me
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- I giggle when I put myself down. It's just funny to me.
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- I love funny people, and when I'm with funny people, or people who are amusing in their weirdness, I love it. Because that to me is funny, as opposed to so~meone who stops and says, 'Hey let me tell you a joke.
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- I like to make jokes; I consider myself a funny person. I just think making jokes about people who are in a situation beyond t~heir control is not funny to them or their families.
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- Working for President Nixon was the mo~st extraordinary professional experience of my life. He was endlessly fascinating: brilliant, visionary, kind, generous, warm, funny - and yes, a good man.
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- I owe my whole acting career to the fact that I'm a singer. I went out to Los Angeles and auditioned for a TV show called 'Fame L.A~.' The original role was ~for a comedian, but they said I wasn't very funny, so they asked me, 'What else can you do?' So I played a singer.
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- I don't think I am particu~larly funny. In fact, I know I'm not.
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- So that's why one o~f my rules of parody writing is that it's gotta be funny regardless of whether you know the source material. It has to work on its own merit.
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- Porsche is a driver's car - a performance car. That was funny - here's this awesome car, but it's got no cup holders.
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- Ninety-eight per cent of la~ughter is nothing to do with jokes, which do not deserve to bear the weight of all the funny stuff in the world.
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- What am I responsible for? Who am I responsible to? Everybody? How come when Archie Bunker nailed everybody, it was funny -~ but when I do it, it's not
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- It's interesting - I always thought when I was doi~ng more melodramatic stuff like 'Everwood' that the directors were constantly reeling me in and stopping me from being funny.
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- There's a darkness under 'The Hangover' because~ ultimately there's a missing person and it's not really that funny. There's a sort of darkness und~er it that I love, and still people are laughing as hard if not harder than they did in 'Old School.
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- My mother is very funny. She is from a village; s~he has a typical village kind of humour. Often she says a lot of things she he~rself isn't aware is a punch line.
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- I think you figure out how to be funny by necessity. It's not a natural thing, being funny in the face of tragedy is kind of demented.
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- There are movies that I love~ tonally, that I would love to emulate. Anything from Wes Anderson or the Coen brothers is right in my wheelhouse, as somet~hing that I would aspire to. I love that kind of indie, fun, colorful, funny, sweet, heartfelt but dark film.
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- I am a candid interview and I have a dark and dry sense of humor - a very Canadian sense of humor and I am only learning now stupidly that you can't read tongue. When I say something funny in a newspaper and I meant it to be funny, it doesn't read that way.
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- When I was in high school, I was a bad singer. I mean, all my early acting was musical theater, and my first ever show was 'Jesus Christ Superstar.' Everyone's familiar with it. I played priest number 3 and sang so out of tune that it's not even funny.
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- Making movies was a real weird kind of adult ex~perience. In a way it was like MIT, in that it was a great education. The big lesson is, people are people. They're smart, funny, creative people, but they're people.
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- I trained at The Groundlings and was surrounded by s~ome very funny women and also some very unfunny men. I didn't feel a sense of things being different because I was a girl.
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- It's funny - when you look at the real A-listers nowadays, look at how many live in and around Hollywood. Most of them live on ~a ranch in Utah. It's no coincidence these guys get in and get out.
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- I heard that people were really interested in the new haircut, which I think is so funny. Great haircut, I really like it. It goes gr~eat with the time period. And I was su~per, super, super-happy to have my bangs swept to the side rather than straight in front of me, which I dealt with for three seasons. I'm very, very much done with that.
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- Anyone who thinks they can write the perfect co~medy that everyone will love is a fool. I can only write what I think is funny and hope that there is a likeminded audience out there.
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- For people who have done comedy after a certain point in time, I think there's a base level of, 'O.K., I think I'm decently funny.' Bu~t unless you just have some massive ego, I really think you're still fighting against that.
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- Let's face it: It's difficult enough to be funny without worrying about what is going to offend whom.
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- I direct with energy. I believe in energy. I think energy is an electric thing in actors. I try to inspire, encourage, and mak~e choices with lots of energy. And truth. I'm big fan of truth and being funny. I like leading 50 people into battle every day.
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- I don't follow anything blindly. I have to know the entire thing, if I have to get in to it. It might sound funny to you, but it's like using En~glish language. I use an English word only when I know its meaning and understand its connotation. You won't hear me say, 'What's up, dude' or anything like that just for the heck of it.
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- I think maybe I became funny because as a kid, I was a Jew in a town of no Jews, and being funny just instinctively came about as a way to put people at ease around me.
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- When I turned about 12 or 13, I realised that being funny wasn't about remembering jokes. It was about creating them.
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- The difference between you and the funny p~erson on TV is that they acted on their ideas.
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- Justin Timberlake is everything, and ~what more could you want in a person? He's funny. He's cute. He's great. He just understands. I get him and he gets me, and that's cool.
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- There are so many funny women in the world, and there has been for so many years, so I'll be happy when people can just mo~ve on from that, and things can just be 'comedies' and not 'female' or 'male,' and everyone gets an equal opportunity.
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- Old white guys can be a funny bunch, can't they? The same anti-same-sex marriage, anti-affirmative action cadre~ can flower into the biggest supporters of 'equality' the minute they get a whiff of minority empowerment.
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- Funny Games' was conceived as a provocation. My other films are different. If people feel my other films are, or respond to the~m as provocation, then that's quite different. 'Funny Games' is the only one of mine where my intention was to provoke the audience.
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- Memory is funny. Once you hit a vein th~e problem is not how to remember but how to control the flow.
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- The townspeople outside the reserv~ations had a very superior attitude toward Indians, which was kind of funny, because they weren't very wealthy; they were on the fringes of society themselves.
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- I don't mean to sound ~- I don't want it to come out funny, but I don't like show business. I love - I love acting in films. I love it.
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- Do I like being thought of as attractive? I don't know anyone on Earth who doesn't, but I do find it funny.
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- It used to be th~at you had to make female TV characters perfect so n~o one would be offended by your 'portrayal' of women. Even when I started out on 'The Office' eight years ago, we could write our male characters funny and fla~wed, but not the women. And now, thankfully, it's completely different.
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- When human judgment and big data~ intersect there are some funny things that happen.
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- Usually, if I think something is re~ally funny, I'm not gonna test it. I'll just test it when I'm onstage.
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- I really like 'Gladiator.' I like 'The Dark Knight.' I really liked, when I was a kid, 'U.S. Marshalls.' I like funny movies, too. 'Old Sch~ool' and 'The Hangover.' 'The Hangover' was up there; I liked it.
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- I don't know if you know you'r~e funny, but you enjoy being funny. I know I'm funny because people tell me I am, but when I watch myself, it doesn't make me laugh. Does that make sense? Because I know the jokes, and to me, I feel li~ke I'm pulling the wool over people's eyes. And there are probably people who do not enjoy what I do.
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- It's a funny feeling to work with peopl~e who you consider your colleagues and to realize that they actually are young enough to be your children.
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- I was doing sketches that wer~e funny but socially irresponsible. I felt I was deliberately being encouraged and I was overwhelmed.
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- I've never been to a dinner party where ~everyone at the dinner table didn't say something funny.
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- You could knock my teeth out ~and break my nose, and there'd be something funny about it to me.
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- It's funny; it's a real balancing act. In TV, everybody's talking about authenticity. In order to make 'Dirty Jobs' aut~hentic, I really can't be overly informed. The minute I am, I become a host... It's a very tricky business paying a tribute to work, because TV is very bad at it.
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- Girls don't poop, so don't claim you do. You can fart - because farting is funny - but we don't want to know that you poop.
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- Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh.
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- I like funny guys and those, for some reason, tend to be nerdy guys.
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- I was not particularly bright, I wasn't very athletic, I was a little too tall, odd, funny looking, I was just really weird as a kid.
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- I was foreign and Jewish, with a funny name, and was very small and hated sport, a real problem at an English prep school. So the way to get round it was to become the school joker, which I did quite effectively - I was always fooling around to make the people who would otherwise dump me in the loo laugh.
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- I can't be funny if my feet don't feel right.
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- It's funny, I had dinner with my dear friend John Spencer last night and I'm not in the first episode, but he's at the beginning of it and he was telling me about it and I thought this sounds very hot because I think this is definitely the last year of West Wing.
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- A funny thing happens in real estate. When it comes back, it comes back up like gangbusters.
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- They say Yogi Berra is funny. Well, he has a lovely wife and family, a beautiful home, money in the bank, and he plays golf with millionaires. What's funny about that
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- I play these sort of comical instruments I invented, like the electric rake and the electric plunger. I do a lot of almost stand-up comedy material. Just the juxtaposition of the different styles in itself sometimes is funny. Like, I do sort of an acoustic version of 'Purple Haze' that has some bluegrass licks in it.
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- I think if they put a laugh track on 'Intervention,' it would be funny.
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- Light and funny has a more compelling quality when you're younger. But I haven't abandoned the genre: I love falling down; I love Lucille Ball. It's just that a lot of those stories revolve around problems that I can't convincingly portray at this age.
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- Funny is only something that others know about you - you can't be funny by yourself.
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- Cheryl Cole and Katy Perry are two of the hottest girls in the world - and so normal and funny with it. If I was a few years older they are the kind of girls I'd like to date. I want a younger version of Cheryl and Katy - a mixture of the two would be hot.
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- If you're funny, if there's something that makes you laugh, then every day's going to be okay.
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- It's funny how we 'do' Christmas. Christmas is not something that we do, it is something that was done. It celebrates the long awaited arrival of the Messiah, Jesus Christ. We had nothing to do with it, but what we can do is praise God for the coming of the Lord, who washed away the sins of the world by dying on the cross.
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- I have seen and heard comedians who had really funny 'stuff' but yet could not make the people laugh; then, again - I have seen others whose stuff was anything but humorous, and the audience would howl with laughter.
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- Johnny Rotten. He's a big fan of mine. I used to see him out in the audience in England and he'd stand up and holler. He's funny. Smart too, and a nice guy. Don't think he's a jerk because he isn't.
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- Being a stand-up is my mission in life; it's my passion. My ongoing goal is to simply be funny, on my own, in front of a roomful of strangers.
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- All you have in comedy, in general, is just going with your instincts. You can only hope that other people think that what you think is funny is funny. I don't have an answer but I just try to plough straight ahead.
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- I just developed my act way back in the late '80s. I went to college in Georgia, so I picked up the Southern accent. I talked like that with my friends all the time, because it was fun. It was funny... All my friends were real Southern. We're buddies, so I'd say stuff to make them laugh. So that was pretty much it.
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- With improv, it's a combination of listening and not trying to be funny.
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- I was just a ham since about the age of five. If I was performing at Medieval Times or something, I'd be the court jester. That was always my defense mechanism. I was never all that funny; I was just obnoxious and loud.
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- I don't mean to be funny.
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- But you can't focus on things that matter if all you've been is asleep for forty years. Funny how sleep rhymes with sheep. You know.
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- God writes a lot of comedy... the trouble is, he's stuck with so many bad actors who don't know how to play funny.
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- It's funny how you never think about the women you've had. It's always the ones who get away that you can't forget.
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- Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you.
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- I love practical jokes and humor. That there's frankly no joke that I don't think is funny. I love practical jokes, but I don't like being scared.
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- I thought 'Borat' was a breakthrough comedy, because it was really funny. It wasn't some studio-produced script with 14 writers.
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- I've always believed that the~re are funny people everywhere, but they're just not comedians. In fact, some of my best comedic inspirations were not professional entertainers.
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- I look out at the stadiums full of people and see them all knowing the words to songs I wrote. And curling their hair! I remember straightening~ my hair because I wanted to be like everybody else, and now the fact that anybody would emulate what I do? It's just funny. And wonderful.
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- Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things.
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- I'm good at being funny.
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- We're a phenomenally snobby society, and it's such a rich seam. The middle class is so funny: it's the class I know best, and it's the class where ~you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle classes so funny.
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- Show me one guy or woman as funny as Rodney Dangerfield or as good as George Carlin, Richard Pryor, Bill Cosby, or ~Joan Rivers. There are a lot of good comics out there, no doubt, but as far as the quality of the comics goes, I think what you have is a bunch of situational comics.
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- It's funny, one of the reasons why I never wear my glasses any more is that, when I was younger, a guy once~ said that he liked me until he found out that I wear glasses.
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- I tend to head for what's amusing because a lot of things aren't happy. But usually you can find a funny side to practically anything.
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- From my perspective, probably women are won over by people who are sweet and respectful and courteous and kind and funny. I think those are the things that win women over.
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- I got to dress up in funny clothes and run around New Zealand with a bow and arrow for 18 months, how bad could tha~t be
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- It's funny; recently I've sta~rted to notice people's impersonations of me, and it's basically like a hyperactive child.
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- I'm attracted to women who are smart and funny and ambitious and have lives of their own and great families. Isn't that what attracts anyone
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- The funny thing about me that most people never really understand is that, at heart, I'm really a jock.
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- Ironing boards are a classic example of something I find horrible about modern society: the excitementation, for want of a better word, of mundane things. Funny ironing board covers - I hate them.
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- I always enjoy conversatio~n more if there is some substance to it - which is a just incredibly hilarious thing for me to say because for many, many years I wa~s the guy whose only contribution to any conversation was, 'There was a funny 'Simpson's' joke about that.
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- Cheech and I used to call ourselv~es musicians; we never called ourselves comedians. We were musicians that were funny.
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- Funny things tend not to happen to me. I am not a natural comic. I need to think about things a lot before I can be even remotely amusing.
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- The funny thing is that when you have any form of presentation to your band, meaning you have the foresight to see outside of your creativity, you have a bigger vision.
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- If you're OK with being clumsy, it's funny. But if you are super embarrassed, people are going to laugh at you.
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- Most visions of extraterrestrial life are actually steeped in human hubris. The fictional extraterrestrials of 'Star Trek' or a hundred other space operas~ are less alien than many of my neighbors. And funny, the ones run~ning the place are mostly WASPish men.
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- Hurried and worried until we're buried, and there's no curtain call, Lifes a very funny proposition after all.
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- The funny thing about having all this so-called success is that behind it is a certain horrible emptiness.
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- You just try to be true to your idea of what is funny and what is also interesting.
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- When I was doing ensemble theater and comedy work, I felt I had some talents. But when I started doing my shows in Berkeley and found that I could be funny on my own, I was shocked.
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- Japanese people have a funny habit of~ abbreviating names.
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- Straight men just can't imagine the bliss of being in a relationship with someone who finds farting as funny as they do.
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- And write what you love - don't feel pressured to write serious prose if what you like is to be funny.
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- I'm not a movie guy, I'm~ not a TV sitcom guy, but whatever seems to fit and is funny is good for me.
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- It's sad and upsetting when you see somebody crying hysterically, but at the same time it's real funny.
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- We adore babies because the~y're so cute. And, of course, we are amused by jokes because they are funny. This is all backwards. It is. And Darwin shows us why.
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- I'm not too keen on jokes that are one-liners. I want the situation to be funny.
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- Like almost everyone who uses e-mail, I receive a ton of spam every day. Much of it offers to help me get out of debt or get rich quick. It would be funny if it weren't so exciting.
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- The funny thing is that I feel close to~ all my characters. Deep, deep inside them all.
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- I grew up playing hockey and some football, and I always think about the first time you walk into the locker room on a new t~am. The cliques are looking at you funny, and you make one friend, but then they're trying to stab you in the back.
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- I have to tell you I enjoy Jon Stewart. That's the truth. I actually think he's very funny. I've paid to see him do his stand-up routine.
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- The funny thing is, all my friends are short. I wasn't aware of tall people till I got to high school. I didn't know they existed. I was sheltered.
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- Sometimes, you know - I think, with a~ lot of things, at the time, everything is extremely upsetting, and then you look back on it, and it actually can be sort of funny.
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- I have a funny relationship with reli~gion. I'm a big believer in ritualistic behavior as long as it doesn't hurt anybody. But I'm not a big fan of rules. And yet, we cannot live in a world without order.
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- I'm sure that my parents' behavior has entered my work, I'm sorry to say. I don't think you need to have a difficult chil~dhood to be funny, but it helps.
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- I write about wounds, the eternal treasons of life. It's not very funny, but it's sincere. My commitment is to sincerity.
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- I don't know. I think it's funny! I think it's funny! I go, what? It's so absurd. I'm alone.
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- A lot of my stories about the old days, they're delicious and funny. But every time I recall the early days, it's painful. With every anecdo~te, it's painful because you're summoning up the terribly, terribly difficult life of my parents. And it's painful because I didn't realize at the time how hard it was for them.
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- I can't even look at daily comic strips. And I~ hate sitcoms because they don't seem like real people to me: they're props that often say horrible things to each other, which I don't find funny. I have to feel like they're real people.
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- It's funny, because I~ sometimes feel that I'm most creative when I'm pregnant.
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- I'm very physical. I'm extremely active, and I would love to do something a little more sexy and dangerous, a la Sophia ~Loren, or funny and humorous, a la Woody Allen. Getting to do things along those lines would be extremely wicked and a dream come true.
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- I did a film called 'Black Dynamite' that was very, very funny. That seems to be a film that's kind of a cult classic.
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- I make funny videos of me playin~g video games, and I share those moments.
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- It's funny how the music industry is enraged about the Internet and the way things are copied without being paid for. But you know ~why people steal the music? Because they can't afford the music.
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- With comedy, the jokes will co~me out, and people will see them coming. Changes in daily life or current events can change the consciousness of audiences and can make the show less funny or feel more stale.
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- So to me, Texas Hold 'em puts me to sleep. At least when you play stud, you can be funny as you deal. Somebody some day is~ going to come up with a Stud show that's going to work.
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- The inventory process and stepping back in your life can sometimes be a very dark process. But it also can be extremely~ funny and surprising
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