Birthday One Line 1 New


  1. Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.


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  3. Blowing out candles is good exercise for the lungs.


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  5. I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing “Happy Birthday”.


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  7. Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake. “Next time, take off the candles.”


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  9. A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.


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  11. Why did you hit your birthday cake with a hammer? Because you said it was pound cake!


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  13. Why did the fat monster put a candle on his tummy? He was celebrating his girthday!


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  15. For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.


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  17. The only assured gift that every one of us gets on our birthday is another year.


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  19. Hallmark Card: “Happy Birthday! You look great for your age….Almost Lifelike!”


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  21. The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.


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  23. How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?


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  25. Your birthday is a special time to celebrate the gift of ‘you’ to the world.


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  27. A cute fiftieth birthday wish: Happy 20th anniversary of your 30th Birthday.


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  29. Hallmark Card: “Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!!” (available only in Arkansas).


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  31. What did one candle say to the other? “Don’t birthdays burn you up?”


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  33. Were any famous men born on your birthday? “No, only little babies.”


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  35. Birthdays are good for you – the more you have the longer you live.


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  37. The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.


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  39. When is your birthday? 17th January. What year? Every year!

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  41. Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.


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  43. What did you get for your birthday? Another year!


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  45. I’m not getting older. I just collect wrinkles!


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  47. You’re not old. You’re chronologically gifted.


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  49. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.


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  51. So many candles, so little cake!


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  53. Too young to be this old!


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  55. I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.


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  57. Why are birthday’s good for you? Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest!


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  59. “Were any famous men born on your birthday?” “No, only little babies.”


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  61. How can you tell that you’re getting old? You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you!


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  63. The best way to remember your 21st birthday, is not at all. Have fun blacking out.


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  65. The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.


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  67. What did one candle say to the other? “Don’t birthdays burn you up?”


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  69. Where do you find a birthday present for a cat? In a cat-alogue!


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  71. People come and go but birthdays do accrue.


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  73. You know youre fifty when your chiropractor sends you birthday cards.


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  75. Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!


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  77. I’m not that old! I demand a recount!

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