- Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest.
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- Blowing out candles is good exercise for the lungs.
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- I remember when the candle shop burned down. Everyone stood around singing “Happy Birthday”.
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- Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake. “Next time, take off the candles.”
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- A diplomat is a man who always remembers a woman’s birthday but never remembers her age.
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- Why did you hit your birthday cake with a hammer? Because you said it was pound cake!
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- Why did the fat monster put a candle on his tummy? He was celebrating his girthday!
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- For all the advances in medicine, there is still no cure for the common birthday.
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- The only assured gift that every one of us gets on our birthday is another year.
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- Hallmark Card: “Happy Birthday! You look great for your age….Almost Lifelike!”
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- The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
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- How do you expect me to remember your birthday when you never look any older?
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- Your birthday is a special time to celebrate the gift of ‘you’ to the world.
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- A cute fiftieth birthday wish: Happy 20th anniversary of your 30th Birthday.
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- Hallmark Card: “Happy Birthday, Uncle Dad!!” (available only in Arkansas).
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- What did one candle say to the other? “Don’t birthdays burn you up?”
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- Were any famous men born on your birthday? “No, only little babies.”
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- Birthdays are good for you – the more you have the longer you live.
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- The best birthdays of all are those that haven’t arrived yet.
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- When is your birthday? 17th January. What year? Every year!
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- Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.
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- What did you get for your birthday? Another year!
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- I’m not getting older. I just collect wrinkles!
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- You’re not old. You’re chronologically gifted.
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- Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
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- So many candles, so little cake!
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- Too young to be this old!
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- I like birthdays, but I think too many can kill you.
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- Why are birthday’s good for you? Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest!
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- “Were any famous men born on your birthday?” “No, only little babies.”
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- How can you tell that you’re getting old? You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you!
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- The best way to remember your 21st birthday, is not at all. Have fun blacking out.
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- The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once.
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- What did one candle say to the other? “Don’t birthdays burn you up?”
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- Where do you find a birthday present for a cat? In a cat-alogue!
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- People come and go but birthdays do accrue.
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- You know youre fifty when your chiropractor sends you birthday cards.
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- Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!
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- I’m not that old! I demand a recount!
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