New Best Funny T-Shirt Sayings

1.  Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.
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3. - Money can't buy happiness but it can certainly rent it for a couple of hours.
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5. - The meek shall inherit the Earth after we're done with it.
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7. - The knack of flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.
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9. - Love is blind but like is just too freaked out to see straight.
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11. - When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have guns.
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13. - Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.
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15. - Time flies when you don't know what you're doing.
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17. - Age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill.
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19. - We are the people our parents warned us about.
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21. - Don't take life too seriously. You'll never get out of it alive.
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23. - Lead me not into temptation. I can find it myself.
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25. - How much sin can I get away with and still go to heaven?
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27. - There is intelligent life on Earth, but I'm just visiting.
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29. - Power means not having to respond.
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31. - Never kick a man unless he's down.
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33. - Everything you know is wrong, but you can be straightened out.
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35. - The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made.
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37. - I'm not as dumb as you look.
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39. - I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?
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41. - When in charge, ponder. When in doubt, mumble. When in trouble, delegate.
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43. - Only those who attempt the absurd can achieve the impossible.
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45. - I'm not going deaf. I'm ignoring you.
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47. - I'm the person your mother warned you about.
48.  
49. - I can tell you're lying. Your lips are moving.
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51. - Our parents were never our age.
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53. - Never underestimate the power of human stupidity.
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55. - In the country of the blind the one eye'd man is king.
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57. -He who laughs last has not been told the terrible truth.
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59. - It's hard to soar like an eagle when you're surrounded by turkeys.
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61. - He who laughs last didn't get the joke.
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63. - You can't fall off the floor.
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65. - I'm not prejudiced. I hate everyone equally.
66.  
67. - I used to be lost in the shuffle. Now I just shuffle along with the lost.
68.  
69. - Yesterday was the deadline on all complaints.
70.  
71. - The future isn't what it used to be.
72.  
73. - Sorry, but my karma just ran over your dogma.
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75. - I refuse to have a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent.
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77. - Why be difficult when with a bit of effort you can be impossible?
78.  
79. - There is no gravity. The Earth sucks.
80.  
81. - Bureaucrats do not change the course of the ship of state. They merely adjust the compass.
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83. - The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
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85. - You have a right to your opinions. I just don't want to hear them.
86.  
87. - I don't know. I don't care. And it doesn't make any difference.
88.  
89. -Those of you who think they know everything are very annoying to those of us who do.
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91. - When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
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93. - It's not that you and I are so clever, but that the others are such fools.
94.  
95. - I'm not cynical, just experienced.