Funny Quotes Sms2017


  1. During the Great Depression, when people laughed the~ir worries disappeared. Audiences loved these funny men. I decided to become one.
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  4. I didn't understand key signatures~ or anything, you know. I'd say silly t~hings at the top of a trumpet part like~, 'Note, when you play B naturals, make the B naturals a half step lower because they sound funny if they're B naturals.' And some guy said: 'Idiot, just put a flat on the third line and it's a key signature, you know
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  6. I think we're all good and bad, but good's not funny. Bad is funny. Suppress the good and let the bad out, and then you can be funny.
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  8. Life was a funny thing that h~appened to me on the way to the grave.
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  10. You know what's funny to me? Attitude.
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  12. It's funny because I rememb~er when I came to the U.S. with 'Swimming Pool,' the movie did well, and it was great box office for a French movie, but I remember I was a bit upset because all people talked to me about was the nudity.
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  14. I don't care how handsome or fabulous or funny the groom is, or how sweet and accommodating the bride, or vice versa. ~Marriage is hard.
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  16. It is funny the two things most men are proudest of is the thing that any man can do and doing does in the same way, that is being dr~unk and being the father of their son.
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  19. It's funny how I use social media because I don't use it to promote my restaurants that much. I use it for social issues and I think that's what it's for. I do a few things - I mess around with music a lot because that's a passion of mine. If something strikes me and I want to share it, I do.
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  21. Sometimes I can't believe I'm going to be 60. I always say there's no point moaning about getting older, when there's nothing you can do about it. But still, I do find it quite funny. I look at that number, 60, and I think, 'Really? Me
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  23. When I was in high school I used to sit by myself in the cafeteria - not necessarily by choice - but I thought it was funny to talk to people that weren't there.
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  25. I am interested in shows that are not out-and-out gag fests: you see the truth of ~a broken heart behind them. That i~s what ~life is like: it's really funny, you s~ee funny things as soon as you step out of the room, but underneath that is a whole bag of broken hearts. It's that real pain and that real hilarity that makes life so intriguing.
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  27. I get tired of comedies where th~ere are a bunch of funny guy~s and a beautiful woman who doesn't do anything funny. And I don't like books where there's a rough-and-tumble boy and a really clever, snotty girl. That's just not ~my experience with teenagers.
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  30. I'm screamingly funny, you know, I really am in the books. And that helps because I'm funnier than a lot of people, I think, and that's appreciated by young people.
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  32. No one wants to read a story where I saw a cute puppy on the street and I petted it. I mean, that's not funny. I only write about the funny stuff.
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  35. I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses.
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  37. Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed.
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  40. Come out' is so funny to me because I've never been in.
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  42. I grew up in a time when wo~men didn't really do comedy. You had to be homely, overweight, an old maid, all that. You had to play a stereotype, because very attra~ctive women were not supposed to be funny - because it's powerful; it's a threat.
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  44. What I like about the~ jokes, to me it's a lot of logic, no matter how crazy they are. It has to make absolute sense, or it won't be funny.
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  46. It's a funny show. The characters ~are surprisingly likable, given how ugly they are. We've got this huge cast of characters that we can move around. And over the last few seasons, we've explored some of the secondary characters' personal lives a bit more.
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  49. There's always something funny about men chasing women.
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  51. If something is shocking without being funny it's hard to justify.
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  53. At the end of the day it's got to be a good movie, it's got to be a funny movie, and it's got to make people think, 'Hey, I couldn't have spent my time any better.'
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  55. I find what I do for a living really funny. I mean, acting is kind of a hilarious thing for a grown man to call a job.
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  58. My parents are both very funny but they're also relatively soft-spoken, normal human beings while I'm just a lunatic. I don't know where this loud, ballsy, hammy ridiculousness came from. I'm just glad I followed my goals and my parents did~ too. It's not like we even had a plan when I dragged my mom to Los Angeles.
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  61. It's funny that it all becomes about clothes. It's bizarre. You work your butt off and then you win an award and it's all about your~ dress. You can't get away from it.
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  63. I'll stick to finding the funny in the ordinary because my life is pretty ordinary and so are the lives of my friends - and my friends are hilarious.
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  65. It's funny what memory does, isn't it? My favorite holiday tradition might not have happened more than once or twice. B~ut because it is such a good memory, so encapsulating of everything I love about the holidays, in my mind it happened every year. Without fail.
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  68. It's funny when people ask an actor what they want to play next, because you don't get to decide what you play. I don't know. I can only say ~this: I don't want to and have no interest in playing a plastic surgeon. That's for sure. I'm open to anything else.
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  71. You know, it wasn't even that I'm a funny guy, I just loved stand-up comedy and I wanted to do it. It was one of the few things in my life that I knew I was going to be able to do, and I also felt as though I'd be able to do it the way I wanted to do it.
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  73. For a Catholic kid in parochial school, the only way to survive the beatings - by classmates, not the nuns - was to be the funny guy.
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  75. James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting through the whole film for me to be funny - and I never was.
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  77. I think stutterers are funny. And I know it's rude and politically incorrect to laugh at stutterers. But I think it is okay because I know why they're funny. Th~ey make people nervous. People think, when on earth are they going to get the word out, so they start laughing out of their own nervousness.
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  79. I wanted to be that quirky girl who writes funny songs that still have meaning.
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  82. The best thing you can do when y~ou're not feeling funny is go out and get more stimuli from the world, get out and walk around, read a book, go talk to some birds or a dog and replenish the well, as it were.
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  84. I was born in Paris in the mid-1960s, and by the time I was 12 I had started going to the movies by myself. Most of the movies of that period never appealed to me. I di~dn't like the 'naturalism,' the sad or the 'down-to-earth' cha~cters. What I wanted from film was fantasy, dreams, funny situations, extravagant decor - and beautiful women.
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  87. Alien Chutney is just what the name suggests it is. Its music that is so funny and quirky and weird that it feels entirely alien to the listener; yet, the conte~nt and the subject matter is so Indian and relatable, it's still chutney.
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  90. I love funny people. I met and became friends with some of the funniest people ever. Gilda Radner, bless her soul; Martin Short; Dave Thomas; Eugene Levy.
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  92. As soon as you are trying to be funny or dramatic, that's when things start feeling fake and boring.
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  94. If you take a bunch of superstars and put them in a room where they don't have their assistants and entourage, it's funny to see what happens.
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  96. I like cartoons. I like 'Fos~ter's Home for Imaginary Friends.' It's funny! It has things that kids wouldn't get. It's like, if you're mature, you get it. I like that and 'The Fairly OddParents.
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  98. Unless someone wants to look funny, I'll no~t recommend anyone to copy my bowling action. But on a serious note, with the confidence that I have ~got from the amount of runs I have been scoring, when I'm thrown the ball to bowl, I am pretty sure of what I have to do. I may not be the most attractive to watch while bowling, but I can be effective.
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  100. I've always surrounded myself with funny people
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  102. I could party in a cardboard box with peop~le who are funny and don't care. For me, it's really about who I surround myself with, so I just try to always be with hilarious people.
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  105. Everyone has at least one story, and each of us is funny if we admit it. You have to admit you're the funniest person you've ever heard of.
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  107. You win a race, the next race it's a~ question mark. Are you still the best or not? That's what is funny. But that's what is interesting. And that's what is challenging. You have to prove yourself every time.
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  109. If you tell the truth about how you're feeling, it becomes funny.
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  111. I don't think of myself as funny - I don't fill up a room with my humor... I would fail miserably as a stand-up comedian.
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  113. I'm opening up my heart to the idea of dating. It's funny - my friends would always come to me for romantic advi~ce. I know nothing, and thin~gs have changed since ~I was dating in high school! I'm really trying hard to spend this time working on myself.
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  115. I've always enjoyed watching characters that aren't aware that they're ~doing anything funny. And I think that inherently makes them funnier.
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  118. I know you can be funny without being filthy.
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  120. There are a lot of really funny guys who are very natural in what they do: Jonah Hill, Michael Cera, Seth Rogen.
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  123. But I think once the word gets out that the movie is funn~y - funny is transcendent - it will traverse all demographic barriers if people embrace it as a funny movie.
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  125. I had to act in a school play when I was about ten years old. I really didn't want to do it. But everyone had to do it ~so I didn't hav~e a choice. A talent agent came and watched it and later gave me some work. It's funny because I'd always known that I wanted a movie career. I just didn't think that I would be in the movies.
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  127. The tour bus is always f~un, and there's plenty of time to watch movies. Actually, Kanye introduced me to the movie 'Step Brothers.' We were sitting there, watching it and clowning around - it was so funny, man.
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  129. I am so like Donna it's funny. And most of my friends are guys too.
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  131. A lot of the tabloid stories are written so well, they're very clever and very funny. But you have to focus on what's really important and no~t read them - don't dive into it and don't get caught up in it.
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  133. ny, but when I arrived in California to start college I was much more interested in becoming a surfer and cruise along in life from one beach to the next. I didn't pl~an out any huge career for myself.
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  136. The funny thing about war is that people feel you need to be morally outraged. I feel morally outraged about it, and I've been doing it for long enough to feel morally outraged, because I have been in massacre scenes in West Africa, and I've been doing this for a long time now.
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  138. My dad was in the army so we moved around a lot and I changed schools every year and had to make new friends, and I found that if ~I was the funny guy I could do that easier.
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  141. What does being a woman today mean? Is there a right way of doing it? Is there a wrong way of doing it? Different kinds of women, fem~ale friendships: It's all pretty funny, and worth making fun of.
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  144. It's funny how it usually works out ~that I end up dying. It so~rt of works out, because by the time I die, I'm usually tired of working on that particular movie, so I look forward to it.
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  147. You know, I've always thought~ that it would be really funny if somebody made a romantic comedy where absolutely everything went well from beginnin~g to end.
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  150. How can you analyse what is funny? What's funny to one isn't funny to another... What's funny to you is a personal thing.
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  153. The shooting of the guns, that was kind of funny, because rolling a cigarette and shooting a gun aren't like normal things for a 13-year old girl
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  155. People forget how outcast 'They Might Be Giants' can be. They have a reputation for writing really deft, funny, cl~ever melodies, and th~ey also make a lot of music f~or kids, which is terrific, but when you see them in concert, they can rock the house.
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  157. I'm half Jewish, I'm half black, I look in-between. I dress funny. I play all these different styles of music on one record. It's like, What is he doing
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  160. Viral videos aren't just about being funny. They're about identity creation.
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  163. Being funny with a funny voice is more my comfort zone, ~a broader character that I try to humanize, a kind of silly or wacky persona that I try to fill in.
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  166. Funny enough, if y~ou are looking at people these day~s who are putting Botox in their face and getting all sorts of plastic surgery, we look at them and go, I can tell you'~ve had Botox. I can tell you've had plastic surgery. You look really strange to me. But no one's saying anything. We're just accepting the fact that they're strange-looking.
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  169. I'm, like, super-clumsy and weird and funny and dorky.
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  171. I mean, I'm married first of all to~ one of, if not the most ~wonderful women in the world. She is everything - funny, attractive, hard-working, she has integrity, she loves me to bits.
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  174. Democrats are dumb and Republi~cans are stupid~ but the difference between dumb and stupid is dumb isn't funny. Dumb is when you say something and the whole room goes, 'What did he say
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  177. I know I'm funny, because ~I'm eccentric, I'm odd. I'm not what you expect.
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  179. Don't remember me ~as too nice or beautiful or funny, because then you'll be disappointed.
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  182. As a kid, I thought of myself as a funny person who secretly wanted to be serious, but now I think maybe I'm a serious person who secretly wants to be funny.
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  184. I think for me, the thing that gets me in the right mindset is just watching something funny, something light, somethin~g that makes me feel good. R~egardless of what it is - when you feel good, when you feel upbeat, creativity flows!
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  186. It's a funny thing when you think you're dead. You're not terrified of it anymore. There's a sort of a epiphany to religious thing; it's not sor~t of church-based, bu~t you end up with a serenity which you didn't have before, and I just simply enjoy it. It really does sound stupid, but I've got to tell you it's made my life.
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  189. The funny thing is musicians ofte~n love to go to see visual art because you've got all these pictures to turn into metaphors.
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  191. When I have had a long day at work, I want something to watch that is funny, lighthearted and easy to get into, and reality is that. I'm n~ot really into serious programmes or documentaries.
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  193. That's something - you laugh a~bout Eminem... It's funny, man, because I didn't like him when he first came out, ya know. It seemed like a big joke. But I think the guy's for real, and I like his lyrics!
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  196. But the funny thing is, I broke my finger not on set doing kung fu. I broke my finger when I fell down the stairs prior to going on set.
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  199. I love readings and my readers, but the din of voices of~ the audience gives me stage fright, and the din of voices in~side whisper that I am a fraud, and that the jig is up. Surely someone will rise up from the audience and say out loud that not only am I not funny and helpful, ~but I'm annoying, and a phony.
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  202. With all singers, insecurity is~ your best security. That's why we're such loud people and why we walk all funny. You think, 'Are people interested?' But I think our band has something and they know we don't just put albums out. We do think about it.
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  205. I'm good at coming up with wacky characters and funny dialogue.
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  207. It's funny, I never considered that people are going to see me on the show and maybe stop me on the subway.
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  210. I'm just not one of those naturally funny, relaxe~d actors who enjoy the spotlight and are so good at it.
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  212. There is nothing funny about a well-adjus~ted, intelligent person making the right choices.
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  215. TV is easier: it's all planned out for you, and the audience is there to see a show and they are all pumped up, but when you a~re in a comedy club, you have to be really funny to win them over. To me, that's more pure.
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  218. It's funny - I read that women look to chiseled-faced guys for one-night stands, and to round-faced guys for marriage. When I'm rounder in the face, I like to say, 'This is my long-term look.' Or 'This is my wife-and-kids look right here.
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  220. I would really like to do a really cool one-hour show, maybe on, like, ~HBO or something like that; or something that I'v~e spent a couple of years ~developing so it would be exactly the character and exactly in with a huge push behind it; or I would maybe want to do a sitcom; something light and funny.
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  223. Sylvester Stallone is very funny and~ he's a great guy to hang out with.
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  226. It's funny that I got to do 'On the Road' because the thing that had the biggest impact on me growing up was reading books. I was very i~nspired by the book and this spirit of Dean Moriarty and how envious we all are of somebody who can be that carefree.
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  228. Turns out you have a really fun time if you go to work every day and focus on being silly and funny and happy
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  230. I had a strong vision for 'The Best Man Holiday,' so I was able to translate that to the actors and ultimately to t~he screen. Things can't g~et too heavy or too outra~geously funny; it has to strike a balance. Tone is everything. If you've set the right tone, you can get away with a lot of stuff. You can get away with making people cry.
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  233. Lot of ugly funny dudes end up with some pretty gorgeous women. Women are much deeper than us in choosing a mate - they see in~ the long term.
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  235. At the end of the day I'm writing comedy. If you get too realistic as a comedy writer with your disasters, it stops being funny.
  236. ==========================ly funny - when I'm depressed or I'm having a hard time, I'll write really fun stuff. And then when ~I'm really happy, I write really depressing stuff.
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  239. It's funny, because in 1970 I met the Beatles quite by a chance at a party. It was the Beethoven bicentenary, and I was then ~also playing the Beethoven Sonatas. And that's all they wanted to hear about - I wanted to talk about them, and all they wanted to talk about was Beethoven.
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  242. I don't know, maybe Austra~lian humour isn't supposed to be funny. It's as dry as the Sahara, and I think people miss that.~
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  244. I find it funny how people~ ~from Boston and New Y~ork hate each other because of pro teams. But, like, everyone on the Red Sox is a random millionaire athlete from somewhere else.
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  247. Life can be dramatic and funny all in the same day.
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  249. I realized my family was funny, because nobody ever wanted to leave our house.
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  252. I think Irish women are strong as horses, in~credibly loyal and for the most part, funny, witty, bright and optimistic in the face of devastating~ reality.
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  256. It's a funny old world.
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  258. Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke i~s ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion.
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  260. It's funny the way most people love the dead. Onc~e you are dead, you are made for life.
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  262. When I was a kid, I never did funny things to get att~ention. I was never a funny person. I was never, like, 'Oh, wow. I could say this some day on stage.
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  265. I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.
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  268. I'm odd looking. Sometimes I think I look like a funny muppet.
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  271. I remember straighten~ing my hair because I wanted to be like everybody else, and now the fact that anybody would emulate what I do? It's just funny.
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  275. It's funny when people say, 'I don't think Julia likes me.' Honey, if I don't like you, you're going to know about it.
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  277. There are certain sorts of~ jokes which have~ only to do with the substitution of the unexpected word in a famil~iar context. If you translated something into Fr~ench and then had it translated back into English by somebody who didn't know the original, you'd lose what was funny.
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  279. You need to be silly to be funny.
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  281. Stand up is really fun ~because if I think of a joke or a f~unny idea, then I can just go and tell some people and if they laugh, they lau~gh right away.
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  283. A good artist is willing to die many times over~. What's funny is, I've died so many times.
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  286. It's funny. You succeed, but now ~where are you gonna go from there? I've got to keep proving that I can laugh or cry more real each time.
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  288. Sometimes in the most ~tragic situation, something just profoundly funny happens.
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  290. I gave a funny speech at my wife's birthday party, and I'm thinking, 'Hey, I've still got it.'
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  292. Almost anything can be funny if said the right way - but it has to be said the right way.
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  294. I do like dating cynics - they tend to be incredibly funny.
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  297. Laurence Olivier said in an interview once that when he plays a tragedy he always aims for the funny parts, and the othe~r way around. Because in a comedy you look for what's serious. I think that's true. Sometimes things are really fun~ny if you're absolutely earnest. If you're really serious, it's hilarious.
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  300. I don't like forcing comedy and people just t~rying to do things just to find a funny beat all the time.
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  303. I was lucky. My family is wonderful. And ~it's funny, because most of my best friends come from very large families. So it always felt as if I had lots of siblings, though in the end I had to leave them and go home. I kind of got the best of both worlds as a kid.
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  305. Being mean just for being mean's sake isn't funny.
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  307. The funny thing is that I'm the girl who no one sees at the beach. Ask anyone who's traveled with me. Normally, I'm in~ so many layers, I look like Lawrence of Arabia
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  309. I mean, sometimes... a comedian becomes an actor, and they just don't deliver, because the bottom line of ~comedy is to be funny, and the bottom line of acting is to be truthful, and they get that mixed up sometimes, or don't even notice that that's the thing.
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