Wife SMSText Messages2017

Wife is dreaming in the middle of the night
and suddenly shouts: "Up! Quick! My husband is back!"

Man gets up, jumps out of the window,
hurts himself, and then realizes: "Damn, I am the husband!"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A successful man is one
who makes more money
than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one
who can find such a man.

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Nobody teaches
Volcanoes to erupt,
Tsunamis to devastate,
Hurricanes to sway around
&
no one teaches
How to choose a Wife,

NATURAL DISASTERS JUST HAPPEN.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You know why women starts with 'W'...
because all questions start with "W".. !
Who ?
Why ?
What ?
When ?
Which ?
Whom ?
Where ?
&
Finally Wife..!!!

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Having 1 child makes you a parent
but having 2 makes you a refree.

Marriage is a relationship in which 1 person is always right
and the other is always husband.

You can't buy love
but you pay heavily for it.

Wife and husband always compromise,
husband admits that he's wrong and wife too agrees with him.

Our language is called the mother tongue
because the father never gets a chance to Speak.!:p
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In this world everybody makes mistakes...
But
Only girlfriend, wife n boss have
the gifted talent of finding them,
remembering them n reminding them

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Difference between Friend & Wife

U can Tell ur Friend
"U r my Best Friend"
But

Do u have courage tell to ur Wife
"U r my Best Wife?"



A recently fired
stock trader said ...

"This is worse than divorce...
I have lost everything
and
I still have my wife..."

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M: My lovely wife.
I: Is i am wrong in my sms?
S: Sex is not only thing in the life.
S: See, we have everything in our life you, me & our kids & good salaries and home also.

Y: You are everyting to me, my life my wife my jaan.
O: Our life is just a good enough for us. Alhumdullah.
U: U are the lucky one in my world... gave me our sweet family.

LOVE YOU!


 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wife:What is 10 years with me?
Husband:A second.

Wife:What is $1000 for me?
Husband:A coin.

Wife: Ok give me a coin.
Husband:Wait a second

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's the diff between Dava & Daru?
Dava is like girlfriend,
that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife,
Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Man: Sir, my wife is missing.
Postmaster:bhai ye post office hai,
police station me complain dijiyee.
Man:Kia karon, khushi k mare
kuch samajh nahin aa raha

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Husband to a newly wed wife!
I could go to the end of the world for you
Wife:Thanks,but promise me
you will stay there for the rest of your life.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Judge:why did u shoot ur wife
instead of shootingher lover?

Sardar:Your honour,
it's easier to shoot a woman once,
than shooting one man every week.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How woman calls their husband in first 6 years
Yr 1.Janu
Yr 2.O G.
Yr 3.Sunte ho?
Yr 4.O bunty k pappa
Yr 5.Kahan mar gaye?
Yr 6.Tum aate ho k main aaon?


Judge: How can you prove
you were not speeding your car?

Man: Sir, I was on the way to
bring back my wife from her mother's home!

Judge: that's all, case dismissed :p

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Last night was my fault,
my wife asked,
"what's on the TV?"
and ..... I said, "dust!"



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Friends Are like Priya Gold Biscuit Haq Se maango
Girl Friends are like Pepsi Yeh Dil Maange More
Wife is like a medicine Bas Ek hi kaafi hai

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Position of husband is like a split A.C.
No matter how loud he is outside,
but inside the house,
he is designed to remain
silent, cool & controlled by remote.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Husband & wife are like liver and kidney.
Husband is liver & wife is kidney.
If liver fails, kidney fails.
If kidney fails, liver manages with other kidney.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wife: What is so interesting in me?

Husband: I dont know the meaning of interesting!!!



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Husband 2 Wife : Did u Have any boyfriend before marriage ??
Wife remains silent

Husband : Mai is Khamoshi ko kya samjhu ??
Wife : Abbe gin ne to De

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Husband aur Wife Hotel
me gaye tabhi 1 Lady ne Hello kiya,
Wife nay pocha,"Koun Thi Wo?"
Husband:-Tum dimagh kharab mat karo,
main pehle hi pareshan hun k woh bhi Yehi pochay gi.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Husband: Today is sunday &
I have to enjoy it.

So i bought 3 movie tickets.

Wife: Why three?

Husband: 1 For U and 2 for ur parents.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wife called her husband
Wife: honey where are you?
Husband: I'm at the bank.
Wife: dear, please I need 3000 rupees to activate my blackberry,
5000 to do my hair and
10,000 to buy a dress.
Husband: sorry, I meant I was at the "bank" of a river.
Do you want fish to cook?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wife: If I die what will u do?
Husband: Main paagal ho jaun ga!

Wife: Will u marry again after I die?
Husband: Pagal kuch bhi kar sakta hai

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
One million copies of a new book sold
In just 2 days due to typing error of 1 alphabet in title.

"An idea,that can change ur wife''
While real word was(life).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What is the difference between wife & saali?

Saali is Beauty,
Wife is duy,

Saali is passion,
Wife is tension,

Saali is patakha,
Wife is sayapa,

Saali is cool,
Wife is fool,

Saali is tuty-fruity,
Wife is qismat futi,

Saali is fresh cake,
Wife is earth quake...:p

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As per research

A man speaks 25,000 words daily
&
A woman speaks 30,000

Problem starts when husband comes home
from office after consuming his 25,000 words
&
wife starts her 30,000..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wife: yesterday-night I saw a dream
That u were sending me
Jewelry and clothes!
Husband: yeah, I saw
your dad paying the bill !!!

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⧭⧭Doctor:Madam, your husband needs rest
and pease so here are some sleeping pills.

Wife: Doc, when should I give them to him?
Doctor:They are for you⬈⬈⬈
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⧭⧭Husband texts to wife on cell..

"Hi,what r u doing Darling?"

Wife: I'm dying..!

Husband jumps with joy but types "Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?"

Wife: "U idiot! I'm dying my hair.."

Husband: "Bloody English Languag⬹⬹
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Husband & Wife Were
Arguing Over Some Issue.
After Much Of Discussion,
Wife Finally Said:
"Tell Me Dear ,
Do You Want To Win
OR
Do You Want To Be Happy . . ?

Argument Ended
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Husband:u will never succeed
in making that dog obey u!
Wife:Nonsense it's only a matter of patience,
I had a lot of trouble with u at first.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Husband said to his wife One day

"I don't know how you can be so stupid
&
so beautiful all at the same time"

⬈⬈The wife responded ,
"Allow me to explain,
God made me beautiful
so you would be attracted to me ;

God made me stupid
so I would be attracted to you !"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If you marry one woman,
She will fight with you.

But, if you marry 2 women,
They will fight for you.

Think different.

Add wife, have life⬈⬈⬈
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Doctor: sorry , reports got mixed up.
We don't know if your wife has AIDS or Asthma!

husband: What should i do now?

Doctor - Send her 4 jogging,
if she returns, don't sleep with her!
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An Angry Wife To
Her Husband 0n Phone:
"Where d Hell Are You ... ?"

Husband:
⧬⧬Darling You Remember That
Jewelery Shop Where You Saw
The Diamond Necklace n Totally
Fell In Love With It n I Didn't
Have Money That Time n I said
"Baby It'll Be Yours 1 Day ... " O:)

Wife, With A Smile & Blushing:
Yeah I Remember That My Love⬉⬉⬉

Husband:
I m In The Pub Just Next To That Shop

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
''An Intelligent Wife Is One
Who Makes Sure She Spends
So Much
That
Her Husband
Can't Afford Another
Women" :P

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Husband was seriously ill.
Doc to wife :-
Give him healthy breakfast, be pleasant & in gud mood,
don�t discuss ur problems,
no tv serial, dont demand new clothes & gold jewels,
Do this for 1 yr & he will be ok.

On the way home..

Husband :- wat did the doc say ?
Wife :- .No chance for u to survive

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After massive demand from all husbands...
A new app called,"Fear" is launched in IPHONE 7
You just say ,"Wife"
and it immediately closes all websites,
hides all chats,
shuts down all games,
hide all special folders
and
deletes chat history!

and best above all,
it puts your wife's photograph as a wallpaper.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
⧭⧭A man received d phone
from emergency room of hospital

Doctor: Your wife was in a fatal car
accident & I've bad n good news.
The bad news is,
She has lost both arms n legs n
will b on a respirator d rest of her life.

Man: 0h my God, whats the good⧬⬈
news?

Doctor: I'm kidding, She is Dead... =P =D

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Woman Buys A New Sim
Card Puts It In Her Phone
And Decides To Surprise Her
Husband Who Is Seated On
The Couch In The Living Room.

⧭⧭She Goes To The Kitchen,
Calls Her Husband With
The New Number:

"Hello Darling"
The Husband Responds
In A Low Tone:

"Let Me Call U Back
Later Honey, The Dumb
Lady Is In The Kitchen.. =P

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Wife Treats Hubby By Taking
Him To A Lap Dance Club For His Birthday ..

At The Club:
Doorman Says: Hi Jim How R You?

Wife Asks: How Does He Know You?
Jim Says: Oh Dear, I Play Football With Him

⧬Inside Barman Says: The Usual Jim ?
Jim Says To Wife: Before You Say Anything , He's On The Darts Team
In My Local

Next A Lap Dancer Says: Hi Jim
Do You Crave Special Again ?

The Wife Storms Out Dragging Jim With Her & Jumps Into A Taxi..

Driver Says "Hey Jimmy Boy ,
You Picked Up An Ugly One This Time.."

Jim's Funeral Is On Sunday
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Cool Msg by a woman-
Dear Mother-in-law,
"Don't Teach me how 2 handle my children,
I'm living with one of yours
&
he needs a lot of improvement" ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A Sweet demand by a kid.
A kid was beaten by his mom.
Dad came n asked- what happen son?
Kid said-I cant adjust with your wife anymore,
I want my own.

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In an African Safari,A LION suddenly bounced on Santa's wife.
WIFE-Shoot him! Shoot him!
SANTA-Yes Yes.I'm changing d battery of my camera..

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

⧬⧬Husband throwing knives on wifes picture.
All were missing the target!
Suddenly he received call from her
"Hi,wat ru doin?"
His honest reply,"MISSING U⧭⧭
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A successful man is one
who makes more money
than
his wife can spend.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chess says everything
about husband and wife.
The King has to take things one step at a time,
while the Queen can do whatever she wants.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
⧬⧬Wife came home with a goat.
Husband asked"Is bhains ko ghar kion lai ho?"
Wife:"Dikhta nahin, bakri hy!"
Husband:"Bakri se hi poch raha hon"

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⧪⧪Difference between Husband & gadha.

Ans:Husband gadha ban sakta hai,
but
Gadha itna bhi gadha nahi k husband bane⧭⧭⧭

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Wife:-I will die.
Husband:- I will also die.

Wife:-why will you die?
Husband:-because main itni khushi
bardasht nahin ker sakta:D

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When a married man says- "I'll think about it",

What he really means that,
He doesn't know his wife's opinion yet.. :-P
Lolz

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Two Wise Advises for Married Peoples

Never laugh at your wife's choices...
(You are on of them...)

Never be Prouf of Your Choices...
(Your Wife is one of them...)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It is said that Husband is the head of the family,
But
Remember that wife is the Neck of the family.
& the Neck can turn the Head exactly the way she wants. :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
⧭⧭Having "WIFE" Is A
Part Of Living...

But

Having "GIRLFRIEND"
Along With The "WIFE" Is
Art Of Living

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
If men behave after marriage the way they do before it,
half the divorces won't take place⧬⧬⧬

On the other hand,

If women behave before marriage the way they do after it,
half the marriages won't take place ;)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What is the Difference Between Mother & Wife ?
A - One Woman Brings U into this world crying...
&
the other ensures U Continue to do so.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I⧭nterviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?"
Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."

Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman.
Interviewer: "What were you before you married her?"
Millionaire: "A Billionaire"


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LOVE YOUR HUSBAND

When he orders you to make tea or coffee.
He wants to feel fresh to listen to your nostop talks.

Love him if he looks at all the beautiful females.
He is just checking that you are still the best.

Love him if he criticize your cooking⬉⬉
He is still improving his taste.

Love him if he snores at night and disturbs your sleep.
He is trying to prove that he is the most relaxed person after being married to you.

Love him if forgets to give you a gift on your birthday.
He is saving money for future.

Love him Because...
You don't have a Choice...
and killing is a legal offense

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Wife: You always carry my photo in your handbag to the office. Why?
Darling : When there is a problem, no matter how impossible, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.

Wife: You see, how miraculous and powerful I am for you?
Darling : Yes, I see your picture and say to myself, "What other problem Can there be greater than this one?


wife:honey,what r u looking 4?
husband: nothing

wife:why have u been reading our marriage certificate 4 an hour ?
husband: i was just looking 4 the expiry date

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
⧭⧭Wife : I saw in my dream
that u were buying a diamond ring 4 me
.
.
.
Husband : i saw your dad paying da bill


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Husband asks: Do you know the meaning of WIFE? It means...
Without Information, Fighting Everytime!

WIFE says: No darling , it means⬈⬈
With Idiot For Ever

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HUSBAND and WIFE are like 2 tyres of a vehicle

If 1 punctures, the vehicle can't move further

M0ral:
always Keep a SPARE TYRE....

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man in Hell asked Devil:
Can I make a call to my Wife?
After making call he asked how much to pay.
Devil : Nothing, Hell to hell is Free.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A woman went shopping, At cash counter she opened her purse to pay.
The cashier noticed a TV remote in her purse.
He cud'nt control his curiosity n asked
"Do u always carry ur TV remote with u?"
She replied " No, not always, but my husband refused to accompany me for shopping today..

The story continues....

⧪⧪The shopkeeper laughs and takes back all the items that lady had purchased.
Shocked at this act, she asks the shopkeeper what is he doing.
He said your husband has blocked your credit card.
MORAL : Respect the hobbies of your husband.

Story continues....

Wife took out his husbands credit card from purse
and uses it to clear all the bills.
Unfortunately he didn't block his own card.
Moral:...... Dont underestimate the power of a WIFE⧭⧭⧭



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True saying....
Women never dress up to impress man,

She dress up to irritate other women.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man received message from his neighbour.

Sorry sir I am using your wife.
I am using day and night.
I am using when u r not present at home.
In fact I am using more than U R using.
I confess this because now I feel very much guilt.
Hope U will accept my sincere apologies.

Man went home and had a big fight with his wife.

Few minutes later he received another massage.

Sorry Sir spelling / auto correct mistake ...
it's not wife but WIFI.

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⧭⧭Police Officer: I arrest people, But, when I go home, I'm under house arrest, by Wife

Professor: I give lectures to students, But, when I go home, I get Lectured hourly, by wife

CEO: I'm the Boss, But, when I go home, I always feel like an employee, by wife

Judge: I give Justice, but when I go home, I⬇⬇ Beg for Justice, by wife

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Husband : I found Aladin's lamp today. :P
.
Wife : wow, what did u ask for darling ?? :D
.
.
Husband : I asked him to increase your brain ten times..
.
Wife : oh..darling..luv u so much.. :-*
.
Did he do that ??
.
Husband : He laughed and said multiplication doesn't apply on zero. :P :P

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Boss hangs a poster in Office
"I AM THE BOSS, DO NOT FORGET"
He returns from lunch, finds a slip on his desk.
"Ur wife called, she wants her poster back home."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

⬉⬉Husband wife watching an IPL match together:
After 5 minutes:

Wife: Is this Bret Lee?
Husband: No, this is Chris Gayle, Bret Lee is a bowler.

Wife: Okay, oh look, another wicket.
Husband: No, this is just a replay of the last one.

Wife: H⬇mm, looks like India is going to win this one.
Husband: It's Bangalore vs Mumbai.

Wife: How many runs they need to win now?
Husband: 72 runs in 36 balls.

Wife: Eh! That's easy, just 2 runs in 1 ball.
Husband: *Turns off the TV*

Wife: Turns it on again and starts watching "Daily serial"

Husband: Who is girl here ?
Wife: Don't disturb me please⬉⬉⬉

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A line written on a Husband's T shirt :
ALL GIRLS ARE DEVIL BUT MY WIFE IS QUEEN..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
OF THEM..:-P

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Man outside phone booth: Excuse me !!
You are holding the phone since 20 mins.
&
haven't spoken a word..!!!
Man inside: I'm talking to my wife

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Message of the year:-
Women live a better, longer & peaceful life..!!
Why? Very simple...
A woman does not have a wife..!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
⬈⬈Husband sent a text to his wife at night,
"Hi I will get late, please try and wash all my dirty clothes
and make sure you prepare my favorite dish before I return."

He sent another text,
"And I forgot to tell you that I got an increase in my salary
at the end of the month I'm getting you a new car"

Shetext back, "OMG really⭅⭅⭅

Husband replied,
"No I just wanted to make sure you got my first message".


My wife and I
were happy for 20 years.
Than we met.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Want to surprise your girlfriend?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Introduce her to your wife :p



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
⧬⧬A famous inspirational speaker said:
"Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn't my wife"
Audience was in shock and silence..
He added: "she was my mother"
A big round of applause & laughter⬉⬉⬉

A very daring husbnd tried to crack this at home
After a dinner, he said loudly to his wife in the kitchen:
"Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn't my wife"
standing for a moment, trying to recall the second line of that speaker

by the time he gained his senses,
he was on a hospital bed,
recovering from burns of boiling water!

Moral: don't copy if u can't paste!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
⧭⧭Asian man will have a wife and a girlfriend
and will love his wife more.

A black man will have 2 wives and 5 girlfriends
and will love his 1st wife more.

A white man will have 1 wife and 3 girlfriends
and will love his girlfriends more.

An pakistani man will have 1 wife and 4 girlfriends
and he still loves his mummy more⭃⭃⭃⭃

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
In newyork, a man was watching a movie at home
and suddenly shouts noooo :'(
Don't go inside the church its a trap!!

Wife: what are u watching?

Man: our wedding DVD :p

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
⧬⧬If you were my husband,
I would poison your coffee

If you were my wife
I would drink it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When a married man says:
"I'll think about it" ,
What he really means that,
He doesn't know his wife's opinion yet⧭⧭⧭⧭

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wife comes home late at night
and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.

From under the blanket
she sees four legs instead of two!

She reaches for a baseball bat
and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.

Once she's done,
she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.

As she enters,
she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. :s

"hi darling", he says,
"your parents have come to visit us,
so I let them stay in our bedroom.
Hope you have said hello to them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

⧬⧬An Airline Introduced
A Special Package For Business Men.
Buy Ur Ticket Get Ur Wife's Ticket Free

After Great Success,
The Company Sent Letters To All The Wives
Asking How Was The Trip.
All Of Them Gave A Same Reply...

"Which Trip⧭⧭⧭

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
⧭⧭Wife: I wish I was a newspaper
so I would be in ur hands allday.

Husband: I too wish that u were
a newspapers so I could have
a new one everyday⬑⬑⬑⬑
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What's the similarity between chewing gum & begum(wife) ??
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Both are sweet at the beginning
and
become tasteless, shapeless and chipku in the eNd...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
⧬⧬A Lady to Doctor:
My husband has d habit of talking in sleep! wat shud i giv him to cure?
Dr: Give him an Opportunity to speak wen ⧭⧭hez awake


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
LOVE IS LIFE
LIFE IS WIFE
WIFE IS KNIFE

and
KNIFE IS DANGEROUS

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wife Running After A Garbage Truck:
Am I Too Late For The Garbage?

Hubby Following Her Yelled: Not Yet.
Jumpppp Innnn Fastttt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


patni maike ja kar pati ko roz phon q karti hai.
.
.
.
.
.
.
taki pati ko yad rahe ki musibat abhi tali nahi hai

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
⧪⧪A man came home late at night after a party.
His wife yelled:
"how would you feel if you don't see me for two days?"
The man couldnt believe his luck: 'that would be great'!
Monday passed and he didnt see her......
Tuesday and wednesday passed too.....
On thursday his swelling became better
And now he could see her from the
Corner of one eye⭌🔝🔝🔝🔝