Haryanvi Tau SMS Jokes New

1. Subah Sham Thari Ghani Yaad Aawe Se
2. Sari Raat Manne Jagawe Se
3. Karne Ko Kar Lu Call Tanne
4. Per Customer Care Ki Wa Chori Balance Low Batave Se…
5. 
   
6. ************************************
7. 
   
8. Loving couple before Marriage:
9. Janu.. tum nahin to main nahin, main nahin to tum nahin,
10. The same couple after Marriage:
11. Maa kasam… Aaj tu nahin ya main nahin…
12. 
    
13. 
    

************************************

1. 
   
2. Purane Log Kehte Tha Sote Waqt,
3. Tension Me Nahi Sona Chahiye,
4. Aashcharya Ki Baat Hai Fir Bhi Log,
5. Biwi Ke Paas Kese So Jaate Hain…
6. 
   
7. 
   
8. ************************************

Santa Ek Din Bijli Ki Dukaan Mein:

2. Do Fan Dena Ek Ladies Aur Ek Gents.
3. Dukaan Wala: Fans Mein Ladies Aur Gents Nahi Hota Yar!
4. Santa: Kyon Nahi Hota Ji
5. Ek Bajaj Ka De Aur Ek Usha Ka…
6. 
   
7. 
   
8. ************************************
9. Raat ko kitab meri mujhe dekhty rhee…
10. neend mujhe apni orr khenchti rhee…
11. Neend ka jhonka mera mann moh gayaa…
12. Aur aik raat phir yeh genious bina parhe so gaya
13. 
    
14. 
    
15. Sunlo jaana tum hi ho ab meri life
16. Tujh ko chhod k naa koi banagi meri wife
17. Tu agar kabhi de dhokha
18. Jaan main apni doonga with a knife..!
19. 
    
20. 
    
21. ************************************
22. 
    
23. If boys vomit then parents says kaminey kaha kha kar aaya tha,
24. If girls vomit then parents says kaun tha woh kamina,
25. Moral of the story: Whoever vomits boys are always kaminey…
26. 
    
27. 
    
28. ************************************
29. 
    
30. Sardar ke bagiche me bahut sare ped the,
31. Sardar naukar ko bola ped ko pani dal.
32. Naukar bola saab barish aah raha hai,
33. Sardar: abe budhu chhatri pakadke dal na!.
34. 
    
35. 
    
36. ************************************
37. 
    
38. Judge – You are crossing the limits.
39. Lawyer – Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
40. Judge – How dare you call me saala?
41. Lawyer – My Lord, I said kaun ‘Sa Law’ kehta hai?
42. 
    
43. 
    
44. ************************************
45. Sardar ko sapne me ek ladki ne chappal mari,
46. 2 din tak sardar apne bank nahi gaya,
47. Qnki bank me likha tha..
48. 
    
49. “Hum aapke sapne ko hakikat me badalte hain”
50. 
    
51. 
    
52. Afridi: “hum Sachin ko kisi hal mein 100 nahi banane denge.” Misbah: “mager ham kaise rokenge, he’s in form…” Afridi: “hum under 100 all out ho jayenge.”
53. 
    
54. 
    
55. ************************************
56. 
    
57. Side effect of Studying 2 much:
58. A Guy Went To A Resturant, He Wanted To See The Menu But He Forgot WhAt It Is Called;
59. He Asked Waiter,
60. “Syllabus Lana Zra”;-)
61. 
    
62. 
    
63. ************************************
64. 
    
65. Shair Arz Kiya Hai…
66. Zara Tawajo Chahiye…
67. Khushiyan Milain Tumhain Har Qadam Ba Qadam…
68. Khuda Ki Qasam Shair Khatam
69. Plz Naraz Mat Ho Acha Chalo Dosra Shair Hai…
70. Chahe Ge Tm Ko Dilo Jan Se Hum
71. Khuda Ki Qasam Ye Shair Bhe Khatam
72. Thora Aur Bura Maan Lo…
73. `
74. Best Sms Of 1947
75. ?
76. ?
77. ?
78. ?
79. ?
80. ?
81. ?
82. ?
83. ?
84. ?
85. Tab Mobile Tha Kya?
86. Kabhi Tu Thora Dimagh Ka Istamaal Kar Liya Karo!
87. Bas Sms Parhne Ki Jaldi Lagi Hoti Hai…
88. `
89. Why Has The Govt Fixed Voting Age Of 18 Yr
90. & Marriage In Age Of 21yr?
91. Govt Ko Ye Pata Hai K
92. Desh Sumbhalna Aasan Hai
93. Lekin Biwi Nahi…
94. `
95. Palko Pe Apni Baithaya Hai Tumhe
96. Badi Dino Ke Baad Paya Hai Tumhe
97. Aasani Se Nahi Mile Tum
98. National Zoological Park Se Churaya Hai Tumhe…
99. `
100. Mere Hath Me Tera Hath Ho
101. Tere Hath Me Bajuwale Ka Hath Ho
102. Aur Uske Hath Me Mera Hath Ho Fir?
103. Fir Kya Teeno Milake Khelege GHOOM-GHOOM …
104. 
     
105. 
     
106. ************************************
107. 
     
108. 
     
109. Train mai aik husband apni wife say:
110. tujh say shadi ker k pachta raha hun
111. dil kerta hai tujhey kuttay k agay dal dun
112. samnay wala passenger:wao wao wao wao!!!…
113. `
114. Khush rahe tu sada yeh dua hai meri
115. Teri premika hi ban jaaye bhabhi teri…..
116. `
117. Ek ladki thi diwani si, sunder si lambi si,
118. Nazrein jhukake sharmake galion se guzra karti thi
119. latak matak chalti thi, aur kaha karti thi,
120. Bartan Lelo Bartan……
121. `
122. Bolaa dukaan-daar, ke kyaa chahiye tumhain
123. Jo bhii kaho ge merii dukaan per wo paoge
124. maine kahaa ke kutte ke khaane kaa cake hai
125. bolaa yahiin pe khaaoge yaa leke jaaoge…
126. `
127. Suna hai wo keh kar gaye hai ke ab to hum,
128. Sirf tumhare khawboo main hi aayenge,
129. Koi keh de unse ki wo vada kar le hum,
130. Jindgi bher ke liye so jayenge…
131. `
132. Woh zindagi hi kya jisme mohabbat nahi,
133. Woh mohabat hi kya jisme yaadein nahi,
134. Woh yaadein hi kya jisme tum nahi,
135. Aur woh tum hi kya jiske saath hum nahi…….
136. 
     
137. 
     
138. ************************************
139. 
     
140. Excellent Mind
141. Masoom Chehra
142. Mithi Aawaz
143. Khubsurat Aankhe
144. Perfect Personality
145. Khushmizaj Andaz
146. Ye To Hui Meri Baat
147. Or Batao Aap Kaisy Ho ?…
148. `
149. Ek ‘Aap’ Ho Kitne Achhe Ho
150. Kitne Bhole Ho
151. Kitne Pyare Ho
152. Kitne Smart Ho
153. Kitne Sweet Ho
154. Aur Ek ‘Hum’ Hain Ke
155. Jhooth Pe Jooth Bole Ja Rahe Hain…
156. `
157. Hum Pagal Apke Picche
158. Aap Pagal Kisi Or K Picche
159. Koi Or Pagal Hamare Picche
160. Wo B Pagal Kisi Or K Picche
161. Hahaha
162. Saare Pagal Aage Picche…
163. 
     
164. 
     
165. Respected,
166. International Kanjus,
167. Thanks for not sending any Sms,
168. You will win “Pappu Kanjus Rahna Award”
169. 
     
170. Na na sms mt karna,
171. Kahin ye! Award hath se na nikal jaye..
172. 
     
173. 
     
174. ************************************
175. What’s True Bravery?
176. 
     
177. .
178. .
179. 
     
180. To arrive home..
181. Fully Drunk..
182. Late night out.
183. 
     
184. N
185. Mom waiting with a Jhadu
186. N
187. You ask: Hey Mom, abhi tak Safai kar rahi ho..!!
188. 
     
189. 
     
190. ************************************
191. 
     
192. Sardar got a job in AIRTel
193. custmr: Hello my AIRTEL sim loked what 2Do?
194. Srd: y don take tention remove airtel sim put BSNL,thank u 4caling
195. `
196. Sardar Roz Subha 50 ladkiya mera intezar karti hain
197. man- are waha Vo kaise?
198. sardar- Maine Girls collage Bus ka Drive Hu na.
199. `
200. 2 sardar sending sms their GF
201. 1st sardar:Mai tere mobile se teri G.F ko sms bheju?
202. 2nd:no
203. 1st:Why?
204. 2nd:usne handwriting pehchan li to……?
205. `
206. Ek sardar jo bhi kam karata tha usme puri tarah doob jata tha……
207. Aurr… ak din… usne ak gadda khod liya…..
208. `
209. Sardars Friend: Yar Kal Meine Kitni Baar Call Kiya, Uthaya Q Nahi?
210. Sardar: Q Uthau, 30 Rs.De K Jo Gana Lagwaya Hai Woh Kya Tera Bap Sune..
211. `
212. Sardar saying to his friend- yaar meina compeny ke computer ko jor jor se chalaya button dabaya to computer bolta he “what r u doing”. Meine computer ko na main switch se band ker diya or bhag gaya.
213. Dusra Dost- kyon?
214. Sardar yaar computer has a good mind wo Malik ko bata dega to…
215. 
     
216. 
     
217. ************************************
218. 
     
219. 
     
220. Tinka-2 tufan mein bikharte chale gaye
221. tanhai ki gehraion mein utarte chale gaye.
222. Udte thay jinke sahare aasmano mein hum
223. ek-ek karke sab bichadte chale gaye.
224. `
225. Fresh flowers are waiting to disturb u
226. Hot coffe waiting to taste ur lips
227. Sun, birds, cool air – all r looking
228. at ur window to say u Good morning
229. Have nice day.
230. `
231. Girl’s father- Main nahi chahta ki meri beti
232. apni puri zindgi 1 gadhe k sath guzare.
233. Boyfriend- Bus, isiliye main use
234. yaha se le jane aya hun
235. `
236. Unki ek yaad bechan kar jati hai
237. har cheez me unki surat nazar aati hai.
238. aisa hal kiya unhone pyar me hamara
239. ke nind aati hai to ankhen bura maan jati hain.
240. `
241. Is dil ka ik arman hai
242. ik chand me hmari jaan hai.
243. Jise dur se dekhna to mumkin hai
244. Par milna kahan aasan hai.
245. Kyon ki hum to ik zameen hain
246. arr Vo ik aasman hai
247. `
248. Behte aashkon ki zubaan nahi hoti
249. lafzon mein mohabat bayaan nahi hoti.
250. Mile jo pyar to kadar karna
251. kismat har kisi par maherban nahi hoti.
252. `
253. Ishq aisa karo ki dharkn mein bs jaye
254. saans bi lo to khushboo usi ki aye.
255. pyar ka nasha aankhon pe cha jaye
256. baat kuch bi na ho pr nam usi ka aye.
257. `
258. Ek lamha jo baar baar satata hai
259. na jaane yeh dil kya chahta hai.
260. Kaash aap hote hamari nazron k saamne
261. par yeh kaash
262. kaash hi reh jata hai.
263. `
264. Sache dil se karo fariyaad to
265. Duniya ki har ek cheez milti hai.
266. Jis par khuda ki rehmat ho jaye
267. Use kaanto me bhi khushbu milti hai.
268. `
269. Koi achi si saja do mujhko
270. chalo bhula do mujhko.
271. Tumse dosti tute us din maut aa jaye mujhko
272. dil ki gahraiyon se dua do mujhko.
273. 
     
274. 
     
275. ************************************
276. 
     
277. Agar Cricket Match Me 10 Balls Par
278. Puri Team 0ut Ho Jaye,
279. To Konsa Number Khilarri N0t 0ut Rahega..?
280. Ìf All Other Things
281. Remaining The Same,
282. Only For Genious One..
283. 
     
284. In A Cricket Ground..
285. Security :
286. Cricket Match Is Over Now
287. Why R U Stil Sitting?
288. Santa:
289. Oye…Yaar..
290. I Am Waitin For Highlights!
291. 
     
292. Santa:
293. Mene Kal SANIA MIRZA Se Phone Pe Baat Ki
294. Banta:
295. That’s Great Yaar..
296. Usne Kya Kahaa..??
297. Santa:
298. Usne Kaha WRONG NUMBER
299. 
     
300. Teacher Told All Students
301. In Class 2 Write N Essay On A Cricket Match
302. All Were Busy Writing Except 1 Sardarji
303. He Wrote
304. “DUE TO RAIN,NO MATCH”
305. 
     
306. Sardar Cricket Khel Kar Aya,
307. Dost:
308. Kitnay Runs Banay?
309. Sardar:
310. Triple Century Hone Me 299 Run Baqi Thay,
311. Kanjar Ne Out Kar Dia!
312. 
     
313. 
     
314. Zindgi Ek Cricket Hai
315. Saari Dharti Khel Ka Maidaan
316. 
     
317. Aur Us Pe Karmbhoomi Hi Pitch Hai
318. Zindgi Ek Cricket Hai
319. 
     
320. Aati Hai Sabki Baari But Just For Once Hai
321. Hum Hi Is Khel Mein Khiladi Aur Humhi Audiance Hai
322. 
     
323. Zindgi Ek Cricket Hai
324. Naukri Milna To Chauka Lag Jaana Hai
325. 
     
326. Par Chakka To Sidha Shaadi Ho Jaana Hai
327. Zindgi Ek Cricket Hai
328. 
     
329. Jeevan Ke Utar Chadav Ball Ki Inswing Aur Outswing Hai
330. Lekin Sukh Dukh Ka Aana To Leg Break Aur Spinning Hai
331. 
     
332. Zindgi Ek Cricket Hai
333. Accident Ho Jaana Jaise Retired Hurt Ho Jaana Hai
334. 
     
335. Per Kismat Ka Phootna To Lbw Ho Jaana Hai
336. Zindgi Ek Cricket Hai
337. 
     
338. Catch Out Hona Jaise Hatya Hai
339. Par Run Out Hona To Atmhatya Hai
340. 
     
341. Zindgi Ek Cricket Hai
342. Hum To Bas Ek Chhote Se Shayar Hai
343. Sab Kuch To Uske Haath Hai Jo Is Khel Ka Umpire Hai…
344. 
     
345. 
     
346. ************************************
347. 
     
348. 
     
349. WIFE: Tum Ne Kabhi Socha Hai K Meri Shaadi Kisi Aur Se Ho Jaati To Kya Hota?”
350. HUSBAND: Nahi, Main ne kabhi Kisi Ka Bura Nahi Socha…!
351. 
     
352. Kitna Baybus Hai Insaan Qismat K Aagay
353. Her Sapna Toot Jata Hai Haqeqat K Aagay
354. Jis Ne Kabhi Jhukna Nahi Sekha Duniya Main
355. Wo Bhi Jhuk Jata Hai BEGUM K Aagay…
356. 
     
357. Wife ko begum kyon kehte hai?
358. Ans: Kyonki shadi ke baad sare gum to husband
359. se hisse mein aate hai,
360. aur biwi Be-Gum ho jai Hai!!!
361. 
     
362. Wife: Shadi ke pehle to tum mujhe rof gift diya karte they,
363. ab kyun nahi dete?
364. Husband: Machhali pakdne ke baad bhi kya koi chara dalta hai!
365. 
     
366. Patni: Kaash tum aise SMS hote jise
367. Main Zindagi bhar save karke rakhti!
368. Pati: Air kaash tum
369. aisi ringtone hoti jise
370. main har hafte badal sakta….
371. 
     
372. Wife: Agar main mar jaun to tum kya karoge?
373. Husband: Shayad main mar jaunga.
374. Wife: Kyon?
375. Husband: Kabhi kabhi zyada kushi janleva hoti hai….
376. 
     
377. A beggar- ‘Oh sundari ! Andha hoon.
378. Sawa paanch rupya de de..
379. “Husband said 2 his wife- De de, tujhe
380. sundari bola hai to har haal mein andha hai…”
381. 
     
382. 
     
383. ************************************
384. DEVDAS Of 2010..
385. Maa Ne Kaha Face Book Chor Do!
386. Abba Ne Kaha Night Package Chor Do!
387. Doston Ne Kaha Mobile Se Balance Churana Chor Do!
388. Paaro Ne Kaha Dew Peena Chor Do!
389. Aur
390. Aik Din Aayega Jab Girlfrnd K Bachey Bolengey..
391. Maamu Ab To Hamari Ammi Ka Peecha Chor Do!
392. `
393. Khusbu Ne Phool Ko Khas Banaya,
394. Phool Ne Matti Ko Khas Banaya,
395. Chahat Ne Mohabat Ko Khas Banaya,
396. Kambakhat Mohabat Ne Kitno Ko
397. “DEVDAS” Banaya…
398. `
399. Jeet K B Haar Gya Me Pyar Ki Bazi Yaro
400. Me Uska DEVDAS Tha Wo Thi Meri PARO
401. Wo Guzar Gai Paas Se Nazar Tk Na Milai
402. Bcz I Was On Bicycle She Was In Pjaro…
403. `
404. Pyar Karnewale Pareshan Ho Jate Hai
405. Shadi Karnewale Sharabi Ban Jate Hai
406. Devours Dene Wale Devdas Ban Jate Hai
407. Hum Se Dosti Karane Wale
408. SMS Expert Ho Jate Hai…
409. `
410. Bhehar Ki Gali Main Paan Ki Dukan
411. Devdas Ne Dekhi Paro Ki Muskan
412. Devdas Ne Khilaya Paro Ko Paan
413. Khake Paan Paro Boli
414. Shukriya Bhai Jan..
415. `
416. Aaj Didar
417. Kal Yaar
418. Parso Pyar
419. Phir Ekrar
420. Phir Intezar
421. Phir Takrar
422. Phir Darar
423. Sari Mehnat Bekar
424. Or Aakhir Me 1 Or Devdas At Beer Baar..
425. `
426. Logo Ne Pyar Kiya To Kya Kiya
427. Pyar Ki Bewafai Mein Khud Ko Mita Diya
428. Isi Pyar Mein Log Bane Devdas
429. Par Koi Na Ban Saka Mere Jaisa Bindas!
430. 
     
431. 
     
432. ************************************
433. Funny CID Jokes SMS in Hindi
434. 
     
435. Haar se pehle me umeed kyo chhodu
436. Haar se pehle me umeed kyo chhodu
437. Daya says salary sabko milti he
438. Darwaza main hi kyo todu??
439. `
440. Devdas & CID special
441. Babuji ne kaha paro ko chhod do
442. Wah wah
443. Babuji ne kaha paro ko chhod do
444. ACP ne kaha, Daya ye darwaza tod do
445. `
446. CID returns
447. Raat k pehlu me Chand sitare chaye he
448. Raat k pehlu me chand sitare chaye he
449. Madam darwaja kholiye hum CID se aye hai
450. `
451. Latest CID PJ for CID fans
452. A for apple
453. B for banana
454. Wah!wah!
455. A for apple
456. B for banana
457. Kuch B ho jaye daya goli mat chalana
458. `
459. Fredricks k sar pe 50000 ka loan he
460. Fredricks k sar pe 50000 ka loan he
461. Abhijeet pata kro yeh cid wali shyri bnata kaun he
462. `
463. Apake msg aane se milti he rahat.
464. Wah wah
465. Apake msg aane se milti he rahat.
466. Wah wah
467. CID ke baad dekhna na bhule aahat!
468. 
     
469. 
     
470. ************************************
471. 
     
472. Munnabhai : Ye Circuit !! Sala apun ke desh ko
473. kaun chala rahela hai ?
474. Circuit : Bhai….bole to apun ka desh to
475. SMS chala rahela hai….
476. Munnabhai : Abe kya bak raha hai?
477. Circuit : Bhai …sahi bola apun NE…SMS bole to …
478. Sardar Manmohan Singh
479. 
     
480. 
     
481. Tumse doori ka ehsaas jab satane laga,
482. Tere saath guzra har lamha yaad aane laga,
483. Jabbhi tumhe bhulne ki koshish ki,
484. Ae dost tu dil ke aur paas ! aane laga..
485. `
486. Ham tere dil mein rahenge ek yaad bankar,
487. Tere lab pa khilenge muskaan bankar,
488. Kabhi hamein apne se juda na samajhna,
489. Hum tere saath challenge aasmaan bankar..
490. `
491. Haqiqat samjho ya afsana,
492. Begana kaho ya deewana,
493. Suno is dil ka fasana,
494. Teri dosti hai mere jeene ka bahana..
495. `
496. Kuch nasha to aapki baat ka hai
497. Kuch nasha to dheemi barsaat ka hai
498. Hame aap yuhi sharabi na kahiye,
499. Yeh dil par asar to aapse mulaqat ka hai.
500. `
501. Chand adhura hai sitaro ke bina,
502. gulshan adhura hai bahaaro ke bina,
503. samundar adhura hau kinaro ke bina,
504. jeena adhura hai tum jaise yaaro ke bina!!!
505. `
506. Kalam uthayi hai lafs nahi milta,
507. jisko dhoond rahein hain vo shaks nahi milta,
508. firte hain vo jamaane ki talaash mein,
509. bas humare liye unhe waqt nahi milta!!!
510. `
511. Dil mein umeedo ki shamma jala rakhi hai,
512. humne apni alag duniya basa rakhi hai,
513. is umeed ke saath ki a! ayega SMS aapka,
514. humne mobile par nazrein jama rakhi hain…
515. `
516. Main uski yaad mein ban gaya baraf ka gola
517. Main uski yaad mein ban gaya baraf ka gola
518. aur vo boli ki Thanda matlab Coca Cola
519. `
520. Yadd Karte hai tumhe tanhai mein,
521. dil dooba hai gamo ki gehrai mein,
522. hamein mat dhoonndho duniya ki bhid mein,
523. hum milenge tumhe phir kisi, free SMS ki scheme mein.
524. 
     
525. 
     
526. ************************************
527. 
     
528. is kadar hamari chahat ka imtihan na lijiye.
529. Kyu ho humse khafa, bayan to kijiye,
530. Kar dijiye maaf agar ho gaye humse khata,
531. Yu yaad na karke saza na dijiye.
532. `
533. Rishton ki ye duniye hai niraali,
534. Sab riston se pyaari hai dosti tumhaar! i.
535. Manzoor hai aansu bhi aakho mein hamaree,
536. Agar aa jaaye muskaan hot pe tumahari.
537. `
538. Khuda se thoda raham khareed lete,
539. Aap ke zakhmo ka marham khareed lete.
540. Agar kahi bikti khushiya meri,
541. To saari bech kar aap ka har ghum khareed lete.
542. `
543. Jam pe jam pine se kya fayda,
544. Sham ko pi subah utar jayegi.
545. Arey do boond dosti ke pi le,
546. Zindagi saari nashe mein guzar jayegi.
547. `
548. Fiza mein mehekti ek shaam ho tum,
549. Pyar mein chalakta jam ho tum.
550. Seene main chupaye phirte hai hum yaad tumahari,
551. Meri zindagi ka dusra naam ho tum.
552. `
553. Vaade pe o aitbaar nahi karte,
554. Hum zikre mohabbat sare bazaar nahi karte.
555. Darta hai dil unki ruswai se,
556. Aur who sochte hai hum unse pyar nahi karte.
557. `
558. Har kadam par imtihaan leti hai zindagi,
559. Har waqt naya sadma deti hai zindagi.
560. Hum jindagi se kya shikwa kare,
561. Aap jaise dost bhi to deti hai zindagi.
562. `
563. Kaash who nagme hame sunaye na hote,
564. Aaj unko sun kar aansu aye na hote.
565. Agar isi tarah bhool hi jaana tha,
566. To itni gehrai se dil me samaye na hote.
567. `
568. Har khushi kam hai,
569. Tera gum bhulane ke liye,
570. Ek tera gum hi kaafi hai,
571. Mujhe umr bhar rulane ke liye
572. `
573. Dil Ki Basti Bikhar Gayi Hoti
574. Ke Rooh Ke Zakhm Bhar Gaye Hote
575. Yeh Zindagi To Aap Ki Amaanat Hai Warna
576. Hum To Kab Ke Mar Gaye Hote..
577. 
     
578. 
     
579. ************************************
580. Shadi karna tha par kismat khuli nahi,
581. TAJMAHAL Bana tha par MUMTAZ mili nahi,
582. Ab kismat khuli, Shadi hue,
583. ab TAZ banana chahta hu,
584. par ye MUMTAZ marti nahi!
585. `
586. Bhul se kabhi hame bhi yaad kiya karo,
587. Pyar nahi to Shikayat hi kiya karo,
588. Itna bhi gair na samjho ki baat hi na kiya karo,
589. Phone nahi to SMS hi kiya karo….
590. `
591. Aap jaise log kuch khaas lagte hain.
592. man main har waqt hum ek aas rakhte hai.
593. najane kab aa jaye aap ka sms
594. is liye cell ko dil ke paas rakhte hai.
595. `
596. Jindagi behaal hai,
597. Sur hai naa taal hai,
598. Msgbox bhi kangal hai,
599. kya aapki sms factory me hadtal hai,
600. yaar kuch to bhejo ye meri mobile ki zindagi ka sawaal hai.
601. `
602. Is dil mein yaadon ke mele hain,
603. tum bin bahut akele hain,
604. sab kuch chodke tume SMS kar rele hain,
605. dekho hum kitne wele
606. `
607. Nazar tumhari, Nazar hamari,
608. Nazar ne dil ki nazar utari,
609. Nazar ne dekha nazar ko aise,
610. ki nazar dosti ko lage na hamari.
611. `
612. Tussi hasde ho saanu hassan vaste,
613. Tussi ronde ho saanu rovvan vaset,
614. Tussi 1 vaar ruske te vekho,
615. Mar jayenge tuhanu manaan vaste.
616. `
617. Baadal kitne khushnaseeb hai,
618. Door rahkar bhi zameen par baraste hai,
619. Hum kitne badnaseeb hai,
620. Paas rahkar bhi milne ko taraste hai.
621. `
622. Dosti ka pehala pegam aapke naam,
623. Zindagi ki akhari sham aapke naam.
624. Iss safar main humsafar hain hum dono,
625. Is dosti ko nibhana hain aapka kaam.
626. 
     
627. 
     
628. ************************************
629. 
     
630. 
     
631. Arz hai unki galiyon ke chakkar kaat kaatte
632. kutte hamare yaar ho gaye,
633. wo to hamare na ho sake par hum
634. kutton ke sardar ho gaye…
635. `
636. Dil k dard ko zuba par laate nahi,
637. hum apni aankhon se ansu bahate nahi,
638. Zakhm chahe kitne hi gahre kyo na ho,
639. hum DETTOL k siva kuch laagate nahi.
640. `
641. Tum paas hot to tujhpe pyar aata hai,
642. Tum door ho to tera intezaar satata hai.
643. Kya kahe is dil ki haalat ki,
644. Tujhe yaad kar karke hume bukhaar ho jaata hai.
645. `
646. Amiri ke khwab Dekhne laga,
647. Angreji Sharab Chakhane laga,
648. Baap ne kabhi Pager nahi dekha,
649. aur beta Mobile rakhne laga!!!
650. `
651. Mandir mein jap karta hoon,
652. Masjid mein adab karta hoon,
653. insan se kahin bhagwan na ban jaun
654. isliye roz tujhko SMS karke pap karta hoon
655. `
656. Hotho se jo choo liya,
657. Ehsaas Aab tak hai,
658. Aankhe Nam hai, Aur sanso mein Aag aab tak hain…
659. Aur kyo na ho… Khayi Bhi to ‘HARI Mirchi…’-hai. ..
660. `
661. Andhe ke hath me “TORCH”,
662. Bahare ke hath me “RADIO”,
663. Gunge ke hath me “MIKE”,
664. AUR AAP KE HATH ME “MOBILE”
665. WAH WAH Kya Jamana Aaya hai!!!
666. `
667. Mulk ki bhi ek sarhad hoti hai,
668. Bacche ki bhi ek zid hoti hai,
669. Aur kitna intezar karu tere sms ka,
670. arre yaar kanjusi ki bhi ek haad hoti hai.
671. 
     
672. 
     
673. ************************************
674. 
     
675. Koi Magrur hokar pita hai,
676. koi Mazabur hokar pita hai.
677. Kambakht is sharab ko pine ke bad he
678. Aadami asal Zindagi jeeta hai.
679. 
     
680. Har Ladki tere liye beqarar hai,
681. har Ladki ko tera Intzar hai,
682. ye tera koi kamaal nahi o mundiya,
683. kuch dinbaad Rakhi ka jo teohar hai…
684. 
     
685. Nice ringtones 4 rakshabandhan. . . . .
686. 1) Rakhi Special
687. 2) Haiye_Rakhi_Hom : Gujarati famous folksong good one.
688. 
     
689. 
     
690. ************************************
691. 
     
692. 1) He/she will never/seldom talk about his/her studies/syllabus.
693. 
     
694. 2) The one who says “maine 8 mein se 3 hi unit kari hain..tune??” 30 mins before the exam.
695. 
     
696. 3) He will say the word “REAPPEAR/BACK AA GAYI” without any sad expression.
697. 
     
698. 4) The one who says to teacher “Sir, report maine khud banayi hai”..but goes blank when asked questions.
699. 
     
700. 5) When asked about bad result in exams he/she replies ” Papa, hamare college mein teachers hi nahi hain..Jo hain wo bhi bekaar hain” with a firm face and then says to himself/herself “BACH GAYA”..
701. 
     
702. 
     
703. ************************************
704. Pappu Proposes
705. 
     
706. Six answers given by a GIRL when she is proposed.
707. 1 Nahi
708. 2 Mujhe waqt chahiye
709. 3 I have always seen u as a friend
710. 4 I already have a boy friend
711. 5 We should concentrate on studies
712. 6 Tum abhi tak mujhe jante kahan ho? Yeh infatuation hai.
713. 
     
714. Six answers given by a BOY when he is proposed..
715. 1 Yes
716. 2 Yes
717. 3 Yes
718. 4 Yes
719. 5 Yes
720. 6 Yes
721. 
     
722. This proves that guys are better humans than girls and they believe more in spreading love
723. 
     
724. 
     
725. ************************************
726. 
     
727. Teacher: Tum bade hokar kya karoge ?
728. Student: shaadi..!!!!!!
729. Teacher: nahi, mera matlab hai kya banoge?…..
730. Student: dulha.!!!!!!!!!!!
731. Teacher: oh, i mean bade hokar kya hasil karoge?
732. Student: dulhan
733. Teacher: IDIOT mera matlab bade ho kar mummy papa k liye kya karoge?
734. Student- bahu laaunga
735. Teacher: stupid tumhare papa tumse kya chahte hai?
736. Student: pota
737. Teacher: he bhagwan, tumari zindagi ka kya maksad hai?
738. Student: hum do humare do.
739. 
     
740. 
     
741. ************************************
742. 
     
743. Formula 1
744. Hamesha Ladki ke aankho se aankhen milakar hi baat kare, isse Ladkiyan impress hoti hai.
745. 
     
746. Formula 2
747. Ladkiyon se jab bhi mile ek pyaari si smile jarur kare.
748. 
     
749. Formula 3
750. Hamesha unki help ke liye taiyaar rahe.
751. 
     
752. Formula 4
753. unka Birth day kabhi naa bhule aur unhe koi Beautiful gift jarur de, yaa ek Rose.
754. 
     
755. Formula 5
756. uus par kabhi bhi gussa na kare, Hamesha pyaar se hi pesh aaye.
757. 
     
758. Formula 6
759. Ladkiyan Shayari pasand karti hai, isliye aksar unhe unki khubsurti par koi Shayari sunate rahe, aisa karte rahne se wo aapke pyaar me pagal ho jayegi.
760. 
     
761. Formula 7
762. unse hamesha achche Dress me hi mile, yaad rakhe aap ko bhi attractive dkhna padega.
763. 
     
764. Formula 8
765. agar aap ek hi class me hai to unko Study me yaa Notes banane me Help karte rahe, aisa karne se aap unke aur bhi karib aate jaenge.
766. 
     
767. Formula 9
768. Aap jab bhi unse mile unhe Hi yaa Hello yaa Shake hand karna na bhule, isse apna pan badata jaega.
769. 
     
770. Formula 100
771. Ladkiyon ko Good personality wale Ladke bahut achche lagte hai, issliye koi achchi si Gym me exercise kar apni Body ko attractive banaye. isse Ladkiyan aapko dekhte hi impress ho jaengi.
772. 
     
773. Formula 11
774. Agar aapke pass cell phone hai aur us ladki ke paas bhi ( jise aap patana chahte hai), to aksar usko Funny SMS yaa Love SMS yaa Friendship SMS bhejte rahe. aisa karne se aap unki yaado me bane rahenge.
775. 
     
776. Formula 12
777. Friendship aur Valentines day ko unhe hamesha wish kare aur ek Pyara sa Gift jarur de. aisa karna najdiki badane ke liye bahut jaruri hai.
778. 
     
779. Formula 13
780. Ladkiyon se hamesha Romantic mood me hi baat kare, aise baat kare jisse unhe lage ki aap ko unse baat karke bahut hi maza aa raha hai.
781. 
     
782. Formula 14
783. Hamesha unko Respect de, isse aap unki nazaron me ek achche Ladke bane rahenge, jo Ladki patane ke liye bahut hi jaruri hai.
784. 
     
785. Formula 15
786. Ladkiyon se kabhi mat sharmaiye, Maximum Ladki sharmile Ladko ko pasand nahi karti hai, issliye hamesha frankly unse mile.
787. 
     
788. Formula16
789. Apni Personality perfect rakhne ke liye hamesha chust durust dikhe, na ki sust yaa kaamchor. Ladkiyan furtile Ladko ko hi pasand karti hai.
790. 
     
791. Formula 17
792. agar Ladki Filmo ki shaukin hai to usse aksar Film ke hi bare me baate kare, isse wo aapse apni feeling bantkar khush aur impress hongi.
793. 
     
794. Formula 18
795. aap apne din ki shuruwat unhe ek mast Good Morning SMS bhejkar karen.
796. 
     
797. Formula 19
798. Raat ko sone se pahle ek Pyara sa Good Night SMS bhejkar bhi aap unhe impress kar sakte hai.
799. 
     
800. Formula 20
801. Ladkiyon se usi topic par baat-chit karo jis me use baat karne me maza aaye, isse wo aapse bahut samay tak baat kar sakti hai. aur aapki Dosti Pyar me bhi badal sakti hai.
802. 
     
803. Formula 21
804. Ladkiyon ke samne hamesha apna Cina taan kar chale, aisa karne se Mardangi jhalkti hai aur Ladkiyan Mardon ko hi pasand karti hai.
805. 
     
806. Formula 22
807. Ladkiyan darpok ladko ko pasand nahi karti hai issliye aap darna chhod de aar Ladkiyon se ek nidar ki tarah react kare.
808. 
     
809. Formula 23
810. agar Ladki aapse kuch mange to use jarur pura karne ki koshish kare, isse Ladkiyan aapse itni impress hongi jiski aap imagine bhi nahi kar sakte.
811. 
     
812. Formula 24
813. Unke Birth day par sabse pehle aap wish kare, isse wo aapko kabhi nahi bhul payengi.
814. 
     
815. Formula 25
816. Hamesha unse kisi na kisi bahane milte rahe, isse aap unki nazaron aur yaado me aksar bane rahenge.
817. 
     
818. Formula 26
819. unhe Dinner ya Lunch ke liye offer kare, ager wo agree ho jaye to unke pasand ke hotel me unke pasand ki dish order kare. wo turant aap par fida ho jayegi.
820. 
     
821. Formula 27
822. Ladkiyon se pehle Dosti karo baad me unse apne Dil ki baat kahna, Pyar ke mamle me patience se kaam le.
823. 
     
824. Formula 28
825. jab wo aap se baat kare to unki baato ko unki aankon me aankhen dalkar dhyanpurvak sune.
826. 
     
827. Formula 29
828. Agar Ladki aapki neighbor ho to roz subah unko dekhte hi Good Morning jarur kahe.
829. 
     
830. Formula 30
831. Agar Ladki aapki Class met ho to unse shake hand jarur kare.
832. 
     
833. Formula 31
834. Agar aap unke sath antakhari khele to unko target karke Loveable song jarur gaye.
835. 
     
836. Formula 32
837. Agar wo aapse raste par Lift mange to aap use jarur de, aur aise react kare jaise aap bahut jaruri kaam se ja rahe the Lekin unke liye aapne jaruri kaam chhod kar unhe Lift di, isse wo aap se Impress hue bina nahi rah sakegi aur aap use aasani se pata lenge.
838. 
     
839. Formula 33
840. agar wo koi problem me ho to sabse pehle unki help ke liye aap pahuche, ye Ladki patane ke liye jaruri sabak hai.
841. 
     
842. Formula 34
843. Ladkiyan bahut emotional hoti hai isliye unki emotion ki hamesha sammaan kare.
844. 
     
845. Formula 35
846. agar Ladki koi bhari kaam kar rahi hai to aap unki madad jarur kare. kaam me hath batane se Pyar badata hai.
847. 
     
848. Formula 36
849. agar School/College me unki Gaadi ka Petrol khatam ho gaya ho to aap apni Gaadi ka Petrol nikalkar jarur de.
850. 
     
851. Formula 37
852. unse hamesha hansi mazak karte rahe, Lekin ek limit me hi.
853. 
     
854. Formula 38
855. agar Ladki kahi paidal ja rahi ho to aap unhe apni Bike me Pahucha dene ka offer jarur kare, aisa impression jamane ke liye badiya mauka hai.
856. 
     
857. Formula 39
858. aap kisi Ladki ko bahut pyar karte hai to apni feeling ko Pink color ke paper par likhkar unhe jarur de, yaani unhe Love Letter likhe.
859. 
     
860. Formula 40
861. Maximum Ladkiyan Funny Ladke pasand karti hai, isliye aapko bhi Funny banana padega.
862. 
     
863. Formula 41
864. Jab bhi aap Ladkiyon se mile to unhe ek Mazedar Jokes jarur sunaye, yaa kuch Funny Shayari hi. (click here for Funny SMS & Funny Shayari Collection)
865. 
     
866. Formula 42
867. agar wo Morning walk karne jati hai to aap bhi uske sath sath walk karne jaye, subah ke mast mahaul me aap unse Mazedar baate kar unhe impress kar sakte hai.
868. 
     
869. Formula 43
870. agar unke paas cell phone hai to kisi bhi bahane unse Contact karte rahiye, aur SMS bhi bhejte rahiye. (click here for World’s largest collection of SMS)
871. 
     
872. Formula 44
873. agar unka tabiyat thik naa ho to unse milne jarur jaye, aur unka haal chaal jarur puche.
874. 
     
875. Formula 45
876. apne Birth Day me unhe invite karna na bhule, aur aaye to ye kahna “aap hi ka intzar kar raha tha, ab aap aa gai ho ab mai Cake katunga.
877. 
     
878. Formula 46
879. unke diye hue Gift ki tarif jarur kare, tarif karna Deep me Ghee dalne ke saman hai.
880. 
     
881. Formula 47
882. agar unka Mail ID aap jante ho to unko Mail karte rahe aur ye ehsas dilaye ki aap dinbhar unki hi khayalo me khoye rahte hai.
883. 
     
884. Formula 48
885. agar aap ko apne Padosan ko patana ho to unke ghar aate jate rahe aur jarurat padne par unki madad karte rahe.
886. 
     
887. Formula 49
888. agar Padosan ka bhai bhi hai to, Pehle uske bhai se Dosti karo, uske bhai ki nazaro me aap ek samajhdar Ladke ki tarah raho, isse aapka unke ghar aana jana laga rahega.
889. 
     
890. Formula 50
891. Har insan apni tarif sunana chahta hai, isliye aap Ladki ke har Chijo ki tarif karte rahe.
892. 
     
893. Formula 51
894. Ladkiyon se hamesha Confidence ke sath hi baat kare.
895. 
     
896. Formula 52
897. agar aap kisi Ladki ko Patana chahte hai to usse baat karne ki koshish kare. aur apni feeling ko kisi din Letter me likhkar unhe de do. isse Ladki aapke Himmat ki Kayal ho jayegi.
898. 
     
899. Formula 53
900. agar unka koi Nick name ho to aap unko Nick name se hi pukare. isse aap unko apne se lagenge.
901. 
     
902. Formula 54
903. Jab bhi aap unse mile to unko uske pasand ki Chocolate jarur de. Ladkiyon ke shauk pure karne se unko Patane me aasani hoti hai.
904. 
     
905. Formula 55
906. agar Ladki ice-cream khane ki shaukin ho to unko jarur isske liye offer karte rahe..
907. 
     
908. Formula 56
909. Ladkiyan agar group me ho to aap unhe (Jinhe Patana hai) hi dekhte rahe, aisa karne se wo bhi aap ke taraf attract ho jaegi.
910. 
     
911. Formula 57
912. agar aap kisi Ladki ko Propose karna chahte ho to, aap unka ek hath pakadkar unhe Red Rose dekar Propose kare. wo aap ka Proposal jarur accept kar legi.
913. 
     
914. Formula 58
915. unki har ada ki tarif jarur kare, wo jarur khush hongi.
916. 
     
917. Formula 59
918. Propose karna Mard ka kaam hai iss liye aap ye mat soche ki Ladki aakar aapko Propse karengi, Pahle aapko hi Propose karna hoga.
919. 
     
920. Formula 60
921. agar wo kabhi aapke ghar ke samne se gujre to use apne ghar jarur bulayen, aur Chaay ya Coffee jarur pilaye. isse wo aapke mehman navaji ki kayal ho jayegi.
922. 
     
923. Formula 61
924. agar aap unka ghar jante hai to Holi ke din uske ghar unke sath Holi khelne jana na bhule aur unke sath khub hansi mazak kare.
925. 
     
926. Formula 62
927. agar aap Party me kisi Ladki ko Patana chahte ho to, aap sabse pehle unse jakar mile aur apna Introduction de, isse dhire-dhire baat chit ka silsila shuru hoga aur aap use Pata lenge.
928. 
     
929. Formula 63
930. 
     
931. aap ki Padosan agar School/College jane ke liye nikal rahi ho to aap unke sang hole aur unse baat karte hue aap bhi jaye. aisa Continue 3 Dino tak kare aur 4th Din mat jana, wo 5th Din aapse jarur puchegi kal kyu nahi aaye. aur iss tarah mulakat se aap use Pata hi lenge.
932. 
     
933. Formula 64
934. Ladki Patane ke liye Confidence bahur hi jaruri hai isliye aap Pahle apne aap pe bharosa rakhiye ki aap use Pata kar hi Dumm lenge, aur aap apne Confidence ke bal par hi use Pata lenge.
935. 
     
936. Formula 65
937. Ladkiyan Patane ke liye apne aap me kuch quality paida kare, jaise Singing, Dancing, Body Building, Acting. quality hone se Ladki Patana bahut asan ho jata hai.
938. 
     
939. Formula 66
940. agar aap me koi buri aadat ho to use chhod de, bure Ladke pasand nahi kiye jate hai, isliye apni buri aadato ko chod de.
941. 
     
942. Formula 67
943. Ladkiyon ke samne kabhi bhi Smoking na kare aur na hi Drinking. ye baat hamesha yaad rakhe Ladkiyan Good Manners wale Ladko ko hi Pasand karti hai.
944. 
     
945. Formula 68
946. Ladkiyon ke samne kabhi bhi Gandi baate naa kare isse aapka unke samne ek bad boy ki image ban jaygi. aap unke samne Talented person ki tarah hi Behavior kare.
947. 
     
948. Formula 69
949. agar aap jante hai ki wo kis Film Hero ki Fane hai to aap usi Hero ke jaisi Hare Style rakhe aur usi ki tarah dikhne ki khoshish kare. Ladki aapse impress hogi hi.
950. 
     
951. Formula 70
952. aap hamesha unse sach bolne ki koshish kare, isse aap unhe sachche Ladke lagenge. jo ki impress karne ke liye jaruri hai.
953. 
     
954. Formula 71
955. aap unke prati hamesha vafadar rahe, har Ladkiyan ek vafadar sathi ki talash me rehti hai.
956. 
     
957. Formula 72
958. agar aapke makaan ke kiraye daar ko Patana ho to uske kuch mahine ka Kiraya maaf karde. isse aapki unse najdikiyan badengi. aur wo aapka ehsan mand ho jaengi
959. 
     
960. Formula 73
961. Ladkiyan hazirjawab Ladkon ko Pasand karti hai issliye aap hazirjawab dene wale person baniye.
962. 
     
963. Formula 74
964. Kai Ladkiyan filmo ki baate karna bahut pasand karti hai, aise Ladkiyon se aap unke pasand ki filmo ke baare me baate karke unhe impress kar sakte hai.
965. 
     
966. Formula 75
967. intelligent Ladko se Ladkiyan impress hoti hai issliye aap apni Study improve karke Ladkiyon ko impress kar sakte hai.
968. 
     
969. Formula 76
970. Ladkiyan Patane ke liye aapka General Knowledge Strong hona chahiye, GK Ladkiyon ko Patane me bahut hi Helpful hota hai.
971. 
     
972. Formula 77
973. Ladkiyan saaf suthri image wale Ladko ko Like karti hai issliye aap jhagde-jhanjhaton se dur hi rahe.
974. 
     
975. Formula 78
976. aap jis Ladki ko Patana chahte hai use agar koi pareshaan kar raha ho to aap us Ladki ki madad kare, isse wo Ladki aapse turant Pat jayegi.
977. 
     
978. Formula 79
979. agar wo koi khaas type ke Book read karne ki shaukin ho to aap use wo Book Gift kare (for exa. Comics, Film Magazines etc.). wo aapse jarur impress hongi aur aap unhe easily Pata lenge.
980. 
     
981. Formula 80
982. hamesha koi badiya Body Spray (Perfume) lagaya kare. aapke Body ki khushbu Ladkiyon ko aapki aur attract karegi
983. 
     
984. Formula 81
985. agar wo aapki kuch help kare to usse thanks jarur kahe. impression jamane ke liye ye chhoti-chhoti formalities bahut kaam aati hai.
986. 
     
987. Formula 82
988. agar aapke paas Bike ho to use hamesha saaf suthri rakhe, Ladkiyan Saaf suthri Bike me hi ghumna Pasand karti hai. issliye apne Bike ko attractive banaaye.
989. 
     
990. Formula 83
991. Aap Mobile set aisa rakhe jo aapki Personality ko suet kare. achhe Mobile set rakh kar Ladkiyon ko apni taraf attract kiya ja sakta hai.
992. 
     
993. Formula 84
994. apne cell phone ke wallpaper me unka Photo set kar ke rakhe, aur use dikhaye wo aapse jarur impress hongi.
995. 
     
996. Formula 85
997. aap kisi din unse ye kah kar ki “aap mujhe aapna autograph denge to ye meri khushnasibi hogi”. aap unka autograph mangkar unko impress kar sakte hai.
998. 
     
999. Formula 86
1000. apne cell phone me koi Romantic Ring tone hi rakhe, Romantic Ring tone sunkar Ladkiyan jarur impress hoti hai. Ladkiyon ko Patane ke liye unhe impress karna bahut hi jaruri hai.
1001. 
      
1002. Formula 87
1003. unke ghar ke paas se jab bhi gujre unhe dekhne ki koshish jarur kare. unhe ye ehsas dilana jaruri hai ki aap unme interest rakhte hai.
1004. 
      
1005. Formula 88
1006. agar aap unse kahi mile aur unke sath me unke Parents ho to unke Paanv (charan) chhue. Ladki turant aapse impress hogi (agar Ladki JaanPehchan wali ho ussi condition me hi).
1007. 
      
1008. Formula 89
1009. agar wo age me aapse chhoti ho phir bhi aap unse “AAP” kahkar hi baat kare. unhe lagna chahiye ki aap unka bahut respect karte hai.
1010. 
      
1011. Formula 90
1012. unke sath kabhi bhi bahas nahi kare hamesha unki baat ka sath de. tabhi unko Pata sakte hai.
1013. 
      
1014. Formula 91
1015. har Ladki apne Khubsurti ki tarif sunana chahti hai issliye aap unki khubsurti ka hamesha tarif karte rahe. ye Ladki Patane ka Super hit Formula hai.
1016. 
      
1017. Formula 92
1018. aap unhe hamesha ye kahe ki wo Duniya ki sabse Beautiful Ladki hai. wo aap se hamesha khush rahegi aur easily set ho jayegi.
1019. 
      
1020. Formula 93
1021. mere ek Dost ki 56 Girl Friend hai. usne un sabhi ko Patane ke liye jo Formula use kiya hai wo hai- “Ladkiyon se hamesha unke baare me hi baate karo”. wo hamesha Ladkiyon se unke hi baare me baate karte rahta tha aur Ladkiyan Pat gai.
1022. 
      
1023. Formula 94
1024. unse kabhi bhi gandi baate na kare unse achhi baate hi kare, tabhi kamyabi milegi.
1025. 
      
1026. Formula 95
1027. aap unse ye kahe ki aap unke liye kuch bhi kar sakte hai, wo aap se impress hogi hi.
1028. 
      
1029. Formula 96
1030. Maximum Ladkiyan Clean shave kiye hue Ladko ko Like karti hai issliye sexy dikhne ke liye shave karte rahe.
1031. 
      
1032. Formula 97
1033. Ladkiyon ko kabhi bhi ghur kar naa dekhe balki unhe hamesha Pyaar bhari nazaron se hi dekhe, Ladki aapki Diwani ho jayegi.
1034. 
      
1035. Formula 98
1036. agar kabhi unke sath Film jane ka mauka mile to koi Romantic Film hi dekhne jaye, unke sath Romantic Film dekhi matlab Ladki Patti.
1037. 
      
1038. Formula 99
1039. Ladkiyan apne Julfon (hair) ki tarif sunana Pasand karti hai, issliye unhe Patane ke liye unke Julfon par Shayari sunaye yaa tarif kare. (click here for Tarif Shayari)
1040. 
      
1041. Formula 100
1042. aap unki sabhi baaton par agree kare unke kisi bhi baaton ko naa kaate, aap dono ke think milne ka ehsas dilakar bhi aap unhe aasani se Pata sakte hai.
1043. 
      
1044. Formula 101
1045. aap unke sath hamesha unke baare me hi baate kare, aur unko special hone ka ehsas jarur dilaye, isse wo aapki Diwani ho jayegi
1046. 
      
1047. 
      
1048. Aapki dosti ko ehsaan maangte hai,
1049. Nibhana apna imaan maangte hai,
1050. Lekin ham wo nahi jo dosti me apni jaan de denge,
1051. Kyonki dosto ko to ham apni jaan maante hai.
1052. ~`~
1053. Chaand adhoora hai sitaaro ke bina,
1054. Gulshan adhooraa hai bahaaro ke bina,
1055. Samundar adhoora hai kinaaro ke bina,
1056. Jeenaa adhoora hai tum jaise yaaro ke bina.
1057. ~`~
1058. Chaahta hu tujhe pyaar du,
1059. Dost pe apni jindagee waar du,
1060. Jab tera message nahi milata to,
1061. Man karta hai teri jaan nikaal du.
1062. ~`~
1063. Phool nahi ham kaanto me baste hai,
1064. Khushi nahi ham gam me haste hai,
1065. Shaayri karna aasaan nahi dard dil me hota hai
1066. Tab shaayar bante hai.
1067. ~`~
1068. Chaand ko akele me sharm aati hogi,
1069. Baat kuch tumhaare bhi samajh me aati hogi,
1070. Jab bhi jikra hota hai smart dosto ka,
1071. Tumhe meri yaad bahut aati hogi.
1072. ~`~
1073. Jaate jaate wo koi achi nishaani de gaye,
1074. Umar bhar dohra saku aisi kahaani de gaye,
1075. Ham to reh gaye pyaase,
1076. Paye hamaari palko ko wo paani de gaye..
1077. ~`~
1078. Chune se koi cheez apni nahi hoti,
1079. Har muskuraahat khushi nahi hoti,
1080. Kehna to chaahte hai bahut kuch magar,
1081. Kabhi alfaaz to kabhi jubaan saath nahi hoti.
1082. ~`~
1083. Kaun kehata hai mohabbat ki jubaan hoti hai,
1084. Labo ke bina khule hi hakeekat bayaan hoti hai,
1085. Ishq wo khudaai hai dost jo lafjo se nahi
1086. Aankho se bayaan hoti hai.
1087. ~`~
1088. Har khafa har berookhi ko tumhaari mohabbat samajhate hai,
1089. Har naarajgi har doori ko tumhaari chaahat samajhate hai,
1090. O sanam ham to sirf tum se hi pyaar karate hai.
1091. ~`~
1092. Karte hai tujhe pyaar karte hi rehenge,
1093. Bewafa duniya se ham ladate hi rahenge,
1094. Ae bhool jaao tujhko ye mere bas me nahi,
1095. Chaha hai tujhe ham chaahte hi rahenge…
1096. ~`~
1097. Chehre par banaawat ka gussa,
1098. Aankho se chalakta pyaar bhi hai…
1099. Is ishq-e-ada ko kya kahiye inkaar bhi hai…
1100. ikaraar bhi hai.
1101. ~`~
1102. Aankho ki saja tab tak jab tak deedaar na ho,
1103. Dil ki saja tab tak jab tak pyaar na ho,
1104. Ye jindagi bhi ek saja hai,
1105. Jab tak aap jaisa yaar na ho.
1106. ~`~
1107. Apna khushi se nahi gam se bhi rishta hai mera,
1108. Ye to aapki jindagee he wo ek hissa hai mera,
1109. Ae dost aapse lafjo ka nahi rooh ka rishta he mera.
1110. ~`~
1111. Kisi ne hame aashiq kaha,
1112. Kisi ne hame deewaana kaha,
1113. In aankho me aansu tab aaye,
1114. Jab unhone hame begana kaha.
1115. ~`~
1116. Aap jaise dost kuch khaas lagate hai,
1117. Man main har waqt ek aas rakhte hai,
1118. Jaane kab aa jaaye SMS aapka,
1119. Isaliye cell ko dil ke paas rakhte hai.
1120. ~`~
1121. Mohabbat me marna kaam na aaya,
1122. Dil or jaan bhi di phir bhi aaraam na aaya,
1123. Har shakhs tha mere saath par
1124. Ek uska hi paigaam na aaya.
1125. ~`~
1126. Yaado ke haseen pal mitaaye nahi jaate,
1127. Gujare huye lamhe bhoolaye nahi jaate,
1128. Tum laakh karo mohabbat ki naseehat,
1129. Jo jaan se pyaare ho bhoolaye nahi jaate.
1130. ~`~
1131. Apni bebasi par aaj rona aaya,
1132. Doosro ko kya maine apno ko aajmaya,
1133. Har dost ki tanhaai door ki,
1134. Lekin khud ko har mod par akela paya.
1135. ~`~
1136. Toone mujhse kyon daga ki,
1137. Mere pyaar ki tune mujhe ye kaisi saja di ki
1138. Har din gujarta hai mera tanahaaiyo me,
1139. Maine to chaaha tha tujhako dil ki gehraaiyo se.
1140. ~`~
1141. Unko pyaar karne ka hisaab na aaya,
1142. Meri kisi bhi baat ka jawaab na aaya,
1143. Ham to jaagte rahe unke hi khyaalo me,
1144. Aur unko so kar bhi hamara khwaab na aaya.
1145. ~`~
1146. Wo aate to hai par samay se nahi,
1147. Wo chalte to hai par man se nahi,
1148. Kaun kehta hai ki wo pyaar nahi karte,
1149. Karte to hai par ham se nahi.
1150. ~`~
1151. Aasmaan se utaari hai, taaro se sajaai hai,
1152. Chaand ki chaandni se nahaai hai,
1153. Mere dost! sambhaal ke rakhna ye dost
1154. Ye meri jindagee bhar ki kamaai hai.
1155. ~`~
1156. Ae mere SMS mere dost ke paas jana,
1157. Agar wo so raha ho to shor mat machana,
1158. Jab wo jaage to dheere se muskurana,
1159. Phir dil ka haal batana- miss you.
1160. ~`~
1161. Aaj phir dil hai kuch udaas udaas,
1162. Jaane kyon ek maayusi si chaayi hai,
1163. Aaj phir palko pe paani hai,
1164. Bheed me hu phir kyon ye tanhaai hai.
1165. ~`~
1166. Mehafil main jab dekha achanak unko,
1167. Unse gujar kar aati hawa sharaab hone lagi,
1168. Unhone aake haal pooch liya mera,
1169. Jaane kyon meri haalat kharaab hone lagi.
1170. ~`~
1171. Intajaar uska jiske aane ki koi aas ho,
1172. Khooshbu bhi us phool ki jo mere paas ho…
1173. Manjil na mil saki hame to koi gam nahi…
1174. Gam bhi usi shakhs ka hota jise pyaar ka ehasaas ho.
1175. ~`~
1176. Tujhe dekhna chaahti hu har pal
1177. Shaayad tujhse bahut pyaar karti hu
1178. Kal tak to tujhe jaanti bhi na thi
1179. Aaj tera intajaar karti hu…
1180. ~`~
1181. Pyaar ke ujaale me gam ka andhera aata kyon hai,
1182. Jisko ham chaahe wahi roolata kyon hai,
1183. Agar wo mera naseeb nahi,
1184. To khuda aise logo se milata kyon hai?
1185. ~`~
1186. Sehmi-sehmi nigaaho me khwaab ham jaga denge,
1187. Sooni-sooni raaho pe phool ham khila denge,
1188. Aap hamaare sang muskurakar to dekho,
1189. Aapka har gam ham bhoola denge.
1190. ~`~
1191. Tanhaai hai pyaar me, barbadi hai pyaar me,
1192. Aansu hai pyaar me, bebasi hai pyaar me,
1193. Hame sab pata hai lekin kya kare,
1194. Ham bhi hai pyaar me.
1195. ~`~
1196. Teri yaad me bahut paigaam likhate hai,
1197. Teri yaad me gujaari wo shaam likhate hai,
1198. Wo kalam bhi teri deewaani ho jaati hai,
1199. Jis se tera naam likhate hai.
1200. ~`~
1201. Is “dil” me dekho tasweer tumhaari hai,
1202. In “aankho” me dekho tasweer tumhaari hai,
1203. Jee rahe hai ab tak apni marjee se,
1204. Lekin ye maut “amaanat” tumhaari hai.
1205. ~`~
1206. Man me sabka aramaan nahi hota,
1207. Har koi dil ka mehmaan nahi hota,
1208. Par jo ek baar dil me sama jaaye
1209. Use bhoolana aasaan nahi hota.
1210. ~`~
1211. Jindagee tere bagair adhoori si lagti hai…
1212. jindagee jeene ke liye teri jaroorat si lagti hai,
1213. Aa jaa phir se laut kar meri jindagee me tu,
1214. Meri aankhen aaj bhi pyaar ko wo din dhoonda karti hai.
1215. ~`~
1216. Jaati nahi hai aankhon se soorat teri,
1217. Jaati nahi hai dil se mohabaat teri,
1218. Mehasoos ye hota hai jeene ke liye,
1219. Pehale se jyada hai ab jaroorat teri.
1220. ~`~
1221. Kitna haasil hai sanam tera ye muskura dena,
1222. Najare milakar phir najare jhuka dena,
1223. Kaise kahu ki kitana aasaan hai tere liye,
1224. Qayamat ki bijaliya gira dena.
1225. ~`~
1226. Koi itna chaahe tumhe to batana,
1227. Koi itana palko pe bithaaye to batana,
1228. Pyaar kar to lega har koi,
1229. Par koi meri tarah nibhaaye to batana.
1230. ~`~
1231. Kaash banaane waale ne hame aansu banaya hota,
1232. Aur “usaki” aankh me basaya hota,
1233. Jab girate unaki aankh se unki god me,
1234. To hame marne ka maza aaya hota…
1235. ~`~
1236. Kabhi jindagee ke pano ko ulta kar dekhiyega,
1237. Aapko ek shakhs se, na dil se hota hai,
1238. Ye pyaar to ittefaak se hota hai,
1239. Or kya kahe pyaar karke bhi pyaar na mile,
1240. Ye ittefaak sirf hamaare hi saath hota hai…?
1241. ~`~
1242. Toofaan me logo ko kinaare bhi milate hai,
1243. Jahaan me logo ko sahaare bhi milate hai,
1244. Duniya me sabse pyaari hai jindagee
1245. Kuch log jindagee se pyaare bhi milate hai.
1246. ~`~
1247. Dekh meri aankho me khwaab kiske hai,
1248. Dil me mere sulakhate toofan kiske hai,
1249. Nahi gujra koi aaj tak is raaste se
1250. Ho kar phir ye kadmo ke nishaan kiske hai.
1251. ~`~
1252. Jab ho aapka pyara sa saath aur
1253. Ho haatho me haath, tanhaai ho…rangeen,
1254. Ho sama jaha koi aur nahi sirf aap aur ham ho waha,
1255. Tab hogi barsaat pyaar ki, mere aur sirf mere pyaar ki.
1256. ~`~
1257. Shaam utari jindagee gaane lagi,
1258. Maut ko phir neend aane lagi,
1259. Phir kisi ki yaad ka deepak jala aur
1260. Andheri raat muskuraane lagi.
1261. ~`~
1262. Dost jindagee ke kisi mod par mulaakaat hui,
1263. To najar na chura lena,
1264. Aapko kahi dekha hai bas
1265. Ye keh kar bhoola lena.
1266. ~`~
1267. Jis duniya me baste ho tum,
1268. Usi duniya me baste hai ham,
1269. Magar khuda ki kudrat dekho,
1270. Tumhi se milane ko taraste hai ham.
1271. ~`~
1272. Agar talaash karoge to koi mil hi jaayega,
1273. Magar kaun hamaari tarah tumahe chaahe ga,
1274. Tumhe jaroor koi chaahto se dekhega,
1275. Magar wo aankhen hamaari kahan se laaye ga.
1276. ~`~
1277. Kisi ko mohabbat ki achaayi ne maar dala,
1278. Kisi ko mohabbat ki gehraahi ne maar dala,
1279. Bach na saka is mohabbat se koi,
1280. Jo bach gaya use tanhaai ne maar dala.
1281. ~`~
1282. Kisi bhi mod par ham aapko khone nahi denge,
1283. Juda hona bhi chaahe, chaandni raato me,
1284. Aayegi hamaari yaad, hamaari yaad ke wo pal,
1285. Aapko sone nahi denge.
1286. ~`~
1287. Khushi aap ke liye-gam mere liye,
1288. Jindagee aapake liye-maut mere liye,
1289. Muskurana aap ke liye-aansu mere liye,
1290. Sab kuch aapke liye or aap mere liye.
1291. ~`~
1292. Tanhaaiyo me jikra tera hi aaya hai,
1293. Tu nahi jaanti tujhme main kya paya hai,
1294. Phoolo sa sundar rishta hai aur ek aapka waqt hai jisme,
1295. Hame yaad karne wala pal hi nahi aata?
1296. ************************************
1297. 
      
1298. 
      
1299. Santa- “Kal aapne apne bache ko bahut pita|
1300. Aakhir aisi kya baat ho gayi thi usse?”
1301. Banta- “Darhasal do din baad us badmaash ka
1302. result nikalne waala hai aur mai aaj hi ek
1303. mahine ke tour par jaa raha hu|”
1304. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1305. Santa- “Meri patni mera itna khyaal rakhti
1306. hai ki kal mehmaano ke vidaa hone ke baad jab
1307. maine usse kaha ki garam paani ka jaldi praband
1308. kare to usi wakt paani garam kar diya|”
1309. Banta- “Waah! Lekin us samay bechaari ko paani
1310. garam karne ka kasht kyu diya?”
1311. Santa- “Kyuki mai thande paani se bartan
1312. nahi dho sakta tha|”
1313. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1314. Hadbadi me kahi jaate dekhkar ek yuvti
1315. ne apne Doctor pita se poocha- “Kya baat hai
1316. papa? Aap itni jaldi me kaha jaa rahe hai?”
1317. Doctor- “Abhi-abhi ek vyakti ka phone aaya tha,
1318. keh raha tha ki haaye, mai mar jaaunga… turant aa jao|”
1319. Navyuvti ne sharmakar kaha- “Papa…vah…vah
1320. phone aapke liye nahi mere liye tha|”
1321. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1322. Putra- “Pitaji, mai nadi me aage jaaunga|”
1323. Pita- “Nahi, doob jaaoge|”
1324. Putra- “Nahi dooboonga, mujhe tairna aata hai|”
1325. Pita- “Yadi doob gaya to ghar jaakar teri khoob pitai karunga|”
1326. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1327. Achaanak bijli chali gayi to mombattiya jala
1328. di gayi| garmi tej thi| isi beech ek mehmaan
1329. ne kaha- “Bhai, pankhe to chala do|”
1330. Mejbaan ne mudkar badi gambheerta se kaha-
1331. “Pankhe chalane se mombattiya bujh jayengi|”
1332. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1333. Ek lamba tagda bahut hi mota vyakti darji ki
1334. dukaan par pahucha|
1335. Darji ne badi kathinayi se naap lekar haafte hue kaha-
1336. “Janaab, is shervani ki silaai ke sau rupaye honge|”
1337. Mota vyakti- “Parantu tumne Telephone par pachas
1338. rupaye bataye the|”
1339. Darji ne pasine pochte hue kaha- “Ji haan bataye to the,
1340. parantu shervani ke bataye the, shaamiyaane ke nahi|”
1341. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1342. Shikshak- “Maan lo, tum jungle me khade ho,
1343. isi beech sher aa jaye to tum kya karoge?”
1344. Chaatra- “Sir, mai kya karunga? Jo kuch karega,
1345. sher hi karega|”
1346. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1347. Chaatra (ganit ke adhyaapak se)- “Sir, hindi waale
1348. Teacher hindi me bolte hai aur angreji waale
1349. angreji me, phir aap ganit me kyu nahi bolte?”
1350. Adhyaapak- “Chup baith jao, jyaada teen paanch karoge
1351. to claas se nau do gyaarah kar dunga|”
1352. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1353. Putra se naaraaj hote hue pita ne kaha- “Nalaayak!
1354. prem-patra maine bhi khoob likhe the magar…|”
1355. Putra- “Magar kya pitaji?”
1356. Pita- “Teri tarah galat vyaakaran nahi
1357. likha karta tha|”
1358. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1359. Putra- “Pitaji, mere liye dhol kharid dijiye|”
1360. Pita- “Kharid sakta hu, par waada karo ki
1361. tum mujhe pareshaan nahi karoge|”
1362. Putra- “nahi pitaji, mai aapko bilkul pareshaan
1363. nahi karunga| Aapke so jaane ke baad
1364. hi use bajaunga|”
1365. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1366. Ladka- “Mai jo kaam karta hu, apne aapko
1367. usme dubokar karta hu|”
1368. Ladki- “To aap baraya meharbaani
1369. jaakar ek kuaa khodiye|”
1370. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1371. Santa- “Doctor saahab! Suna hai aajkal
1372. saap ke kaatne ka ilaaj ho jaata hai?”
1373. Doctor- “Sabka ilaaj ho jaata hai|”
1374. Santa- “Kuch to aisa jaroor hoga,
1375. jiska ilaaj nahi hai?”
1376. Doctor- “Haan! Aurat ke kaatne ka
1377. koi ilaaj nahi hai|”
1378. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1379. Geeta- “Seeta, meri ghadi kho gayi,
1380. kya tumne kahi dekha hai?”
1381. Seeta- “Nahi, chalti thi ya band thi?”
1382. Geeta-“Chalti thi|”
1383. Seeta- “Tab jaroor kahi chalkar gayi hogi|”
1384. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1385. Beta- “Pitaji, koi aaya hai|”
1386. Pita- “Kaun?”
1387. Beta- “Koi mooch waala hai|”
1388. Pita- “Keh do, nahi chahiye|”
1389. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1390. Premi- “He priye, is baar mai pariksha
1391. me fail hona chaahta hu|”
1392. Premika- “Kyu?”
1393. Premi- “Yadi mai first aaya to pitaji ne mujhe
1394. science dilvaane ko kaha hai, second aaya to commerce
1395. dilvayenge, agar third aaya to arts dilvayenge aur
1396. agar fail ho gaya to tumhaare saath shaadi kar denge|”
1397. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1398. Santa- “Doctor saahab, mujhe barabar yahi sapna
1399. dikhta hai ki mere paas se hokar sundar-sundar
1400. ladkiya teji se bhaag rahi hai|”
1401. Doctor- “Usme mujhse kya chaahte ho?”
1402. Santa- “Aap aisi dava deejiye ki ya to un ladkiyo
1403. ki raftaar kuch kam ho jaye ya meri badh jaye|”
1404. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1405. Mahesh- “Mere bhai ka koi baal baanka
1406. nahi kar sakta|”
1407. Kamal- “Kya vah bahut bahaadur hai?”
1408. Mahesh- “Nahi, vah ganja hai|”
1409. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1410. Judge- “Tum sweekar karte ho ki tumne apni patni
1411. ko peeta hai|”
1412. Abhiyukt- “Ji hujoor! Sweekar karta hu|”
1413. Judge- “Thik hai, tum par pachaas rupaye pachaas paise
1414. jurmaana kiya jaata hai|”
1415. Abhiyukt- “Hujoor, pachaas rupaye to samajh me aaye,
1416. lekin pachaas paise kis baat ke?”
1417. Judge- “Vah manoranjan kar hai|”
1418. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1419. Pita- “Dekho beta, tum kabhi shaadi na karna,
1420. yah baad me bahut badi musibat paida kar deti hai|”
1421. Beta- “Haan pitaji, mai kabhi shaadi nahi
1422. karunga aur yahi shiksha apne bete ko bhi dunga|”
1423. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1424. Chaandni raat ke romantic palo me premika ne kaha-
1425. “Kaash! Agle janam me mai chaand banti!”
1426. Premi- “Aur mai chandrama par utarne waala
1427. pehla antriksh yaatri!”
1428. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1429. Pita- “Bete, tumhaare dadaji ne shaadi ki aur pachtaye,
1430. maine shaadi ki aur pachta raha hu, tum kya karoge?”
1431. Beta- “Ji, vansh parampara nibhaunga| Shaadi karunga
1432. aur phir pachtaunga|”
1433. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1434. Santa- “Suna hai, tumhari patni ko naukri mil gayi?”
1435. Banta- “Haa|”
1436. Santa- “Kaam kya karti hai?”
1437. Banta- “Logo ko chadati-utaarti hai|”
1438. Santa ne hairat se poocha- “Kya…?”
1439. Banta ne baat ki safai ki- “Bus conductor ho gayi hai|”
1440. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1441. Bhikhari (apne bete se)- “Bete, yadi hamari saat
1442. laakh ki lottery khul gayi to sabse pehle makaan
1443. kharidunga, phir apne aur tum sabke liye naye-naye
1444. kapde silvaunga| Iske alaava…|”
1445. Beta (pita ki baat beech me kaat ta hua)- “Iske
1446. alaava papa ek car kharid lena| Hum log usme
1447. baithkar bhikh maangne chala karenge, kyunki mai
1448. paidal chalte-chalte thak jaata hu|”
1449. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1450. Bar me ek aadmi ne ek kutte ke saath kadam rakha|
1451. Bartender- “Yah gadha yaha kyu laye ho?”
1452. Aadmi- “Andhe ho kya? Yah tumhe gadha dikhai de raha hai?”
1453. Bartender- “Mai tumse baat nahi kar raha hu,
1454. mai kutte se baat kar raha hu|”
1455. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1456. Chotu- “Tumhara kutta bahut sharaarti hai|
1457. kya tum ise thik nahi kar sakte?”
1458. Tinku- “Yaar! Dhairya rakho| Yaad nahi, tumhe
1459. thik karne me mujhe kitne din lage the|”
1460. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1461. Doctor- “Tum kya tankhwa chaahti ho?”
1462. Nurse- “Teen sau rupaye mahina|”
1463. Doctor- “Teen sau rupaye mai anand ke saath de
1464. sakta hu|”
1465. Nurse- “Anand ke saath to mai chaar sau rupaye lungi|”
1466. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1467. Santa- “Tumhare dil ki taklif ka kya
1468. haal hai?”
1469. Banta- “Aji, aajkal vah maayke me hai|”
1470. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1471. Santa- “Achaa hua, mai Maharashtra me
1472. paida na hua|”
1473. Banta- “Wo kyu?”
1474. Santa- “Kyuki mujhe to Marathi ka ek akshar
1475. bhi nahi aata|”
1476. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1477. Workshop me Deviji dheele-dhaale kapde pehankar aayi
1478. to operator ne kaha- “Deviji, ye dheele-dhaale kapde
1479. pehankar na aaya kijiye, machine me fas jaane ka dar hai|”
1480. Deviji- “Janaab, agar mai tight kapde pehankar
1481. aaungi to doosre logo ka machine me fasne ka dar hai|”
1482. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1483. Ek Fauji officer ko kisi lambi duty par desh se
1484. baahar bheja gaya| Jab pardesh me rehte huye bahut
1485. din ho gaye to ek din use ek patra mila jisme likha
1486. tha- “Chalte samay maine aapko jo photo di thi,
1487. vah vaapas kar dijiye, mai bank manager se shaadi
1488. karna chaahti hu|”
1489. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1490. Santa seedi par chade hue ghar ki chat pot rahe
1491. the| Banta vaha aaya|
1492. Banta- “Santa, tumne brush majbooti se
1493. pakda hua hai na?”
1494. Santa- “Haan! Kyu?”
1495. Banta- “Mai thodi der ke liye seedi le jaa raha hu|”
1496. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1497. Putra- “Pitaji, kal maine teen makhiya maari
1498. thi, jinme do maada thi aur ek nar|”
1499. Pita- “Lekin beta, tumhe ye kaise pata chala ki
1500. unme do maada thi aur ek nar?”
1501. Putra- “Badi seedhi-si baat hai, ek makhi
1502. aapki whisky ki botal par baithi thi,
1503. baaki do aaine ke saamne mandra rahi thi|”
1504. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1505. Seeta- “Behan, aajkal to mujhe saari raat jaagna
1506. padta hai, kyuki mere pati beemaar hai|”
1507. Geeta- “To koi nurse kyu nahi rakh leti?”
1508. Seeta- “Nurse rakhi hai isliye to jaagti hu|”
1509. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1510. Yuvak- “Kya aap mere saath dance karengi?”
1511. Yuvti- “Mujhe khed hai, mai bache ke saath dance
1512. nahi kar sakti|”
1513. Yuvak- “Oh! maaf kare, mujhe aapki haalat ka
1514. pata nahi tha|”
1515. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1516. Pappu- “Papa, raat ko maine ek sapna dekha,
1517. aapne mujhe das rupaye diye hai|”
1518. Papa- “Chal aath aana jebkharch kaatkar saadhe
1519. nau rupaye vaapas kar|”
1520. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1521. Patni ka honth upar se thoda kat gaya| Doctor
1522. ne dawai lagaakar taanke laga diye| Pati chupchap
1523. dekhta raha| Phir usne Doctor ke kaan me kaha-
1524. “Doctor saahab, dono hontho ko taanke lagaakar
1525. seene ki aap kitni fees lenge?”
1526. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1527. Shyaam- “Pitaji, swatantrata divas kab aata hai?”
1528. Pita- “Jab tumhari mummy ghar me nahi hoti|”
1529. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1530. Raat ke baarah baj chuke the| Bacha abhi tak
1531. soya nahi tha|
1532. Bacha- “Mummy, mujhe kahani sunao|”
1533. Mummy- “Thodi der aur thehar beta| Abhi tere
1534. papa aayenge aur hum dono ko ek kahani sunayenge|”
1535. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1536. Santa- “Papa! Shaadi me kul milakar kitna
1537. kharch hota hai?”
1538. Pita- “Pata nahi beta, mai abhi tak chuka
1539. raha hu|”
1540. *-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
1541. Mehmaan- “Tum to kehte the ki tumhare yaha
1542. machar pareshaan nahi karte| Lekin tumhara
1543. ghar to macharo se bhara pada hai|”
1544. Mejbaan- “Haan! Lekin ve hame pareshaan nahi
1545. karte| Hum unke aadi ho chuke hai|”
1546. 
      
1547. ************************************
1548. Dekha tujhe to rooh khush ho gayi,
1549. Ek kami thi vo bhi puri ho gayi,
1550. Pagal hain vo log jo kehte hain ki,
1551. Chimpanzi ki aakhri nasal kahin kho gayi!!
1552. 
      
1553. ************ ********* ********* ********* *****
1554. 
      
1555. Mere Dil, Jiger, Kidney, Liver ho tum
1556. waqt-bewaqt aaye vo fever ho tum
1557. Doob kar jisme marr jaoo vo River ho tum
1558. Mere jeevan mein ab to forever ho tum?
1559. 
      
1560. ************ ********* ********* ********* *****
1561. 
      
1562. Shaam hote hi ye Dil udaas hota hai
1563. Toote khwaboo ke siwa kuch na pass hota hai
1564. Tumahri yaad aise waqt bohat aati hai
1565. Bandar jab koi aas-paas hota hai..
1566. 
      
1567. ************ ********* ********* ********* *****
1568. 
      
1569. Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain
1570. Vo aaj bhi hume dekh kar muskurate hain
1571. Yeh to unke bachche hee kaminey hain,
1572. Jo Mama Mama kehke bulaate hain
1573. 
      
1574. ************ ********* ********* ********* *****
1575. 
      
1576. Ek ladki thi diwani si, sunder si lambi si,
1577. Nazrein jhukake sharmake galion se guzra karti thi
1578. latak matak chalti thi, aur kaha karti thi,
1579. Bartan Lelo Bartan?.
1580. 
      
1581. ************ ********* ********* ********* *****
1582. 
      
1583. Woh hamari gali me aaye?
1584. Woh hamari gali me aaye?
1585. Woh hamari gali me aaye?
1586. Aur chillake bole?..
1587. Paper Raddi wala !!!!!
1588. 
      
1589. ************ ********* ********* ********* *****
1590. 
      
1591. Apni Surat ka kabhi to didaar de
1592. tadap raha hu kabhi to apna pyaar de
1593. Apni awaaz nahi sunani to mat suna
1594. Kam se kam 1 Missed call hee maar de
1595. 
      
1596. ************ ********* ********* ********* *****
1597. 
      
1598. jab tum angdayi leti ho tho mera dum nikal jata hai
1599. jab tum angdayi leti ho tho mera dum nikal jata hai
1600. arey thoda deodrant lagane main tera kya jata hai
1601. 
      
1602. ************ ********* ********* ********* *****
1603. 
      
1604. Teray husn ki kya taarif karoo, tera bander jaisa hai moo
1605. Teri zulfo ki kya taarif karoo, teray ek ek baal pe hai joo
1606. 
      
1607. ************ ********* ********* ********* *****
1608. 
      
1609. Hathi nay kaha ja kar hathni ki kabar per
1610. Sadqey jaoon tumhari patli kamar per ?
1611. 
      
1612. Chaand ko garoor hai ki uske paas noor hai, to kya hua?. Mujhe bhi garoor hai ki mera Dost Langoor hai!
1613. ************ ***
1614. 
      
1615. Taza hawa ka jhoka aaya.. Khushbu teri sath laya?Phir mere dil me khayal aaya?Ke lagta hay ki?Aaj bhi tu.. Nahi ?NAHAYA?
1616. 
      
1617. ************ ***
1618. 
      
1619. Apun 1 sher bolega, Choro Taraf Chand faakrela hai light, Boleto ho gayeli hai nighat, Band karne ka tube light, Aur soneka tight, Boleto, Bye Good Night..
1620. 
      
1621. ************ ***
1622. 
      
1623. Abe o burai ke resgulle, Pap ki berfi , Bewafa ke laddu, Matlabi chuski,Badmashi ke pedhe, Jhoot ke kalakand.. Tu bada hi sweet hai re..
1624. 
      
1625. ************ ***
1626. 
      
1627. Arz kya hai: Bahaar aane se pehle fiza aa gayi, ki bahaar aane se pahle fiza aa gayi, aur phool khilne se pahle?.bakri kha gayi..
1628. 
      
1629. ************ ***
1630. Kya aap.. Colse Up karte hain..? Kya aap Confidence se Chalte hai..! Kya aap Penalty Bharte hai?! ?MOBILE? k bill se derte hai..! To aap SMS kyuo nahi karte hai..!
1631. 
      
1632. ************ ***
1633. 
      
1634. Tum Haste Raho, O Haste Raho, O Haste Raho, O Haste Raho, Muskarate Raho, Sada Khilkhilate Raho, Khush Raho, Mera Kya Hain, Log Tumhian hi! Paagal Kahenge! Ha Ha Ha!
1635. 
      
1636. ************ ***
1637. 
      
1638. Bazu 0 me dam rakhta hun, Dil me gam rakhta hun, Aapki dosti k baad logo se wasta kam rakhta hun, Pata tha mujhe SMS aayega. Isliye disprin sath rakhta hun!
1639. 
      
1640. ************ ***
1641. 
      
1642. Zindagi jaise ek saza si ho gayi hai, gamm ke saagar me is kadar kho gayi hai, tum kar do ek SMS yeh guzarish hai meri, tumari SMS ki adat si ho gayi hai.
1643. 
      
1644. ************ ***
1645. 
      
1646. Jis mehfil mein khare hojai, waha Hrithik bhi jhukta hai, Kaho
1647. Na Pyaar Hai, Kya mooh dukhta hai ? –
1648. 
      
1649. ************ ***
1650. 
      
1651. Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya -Ki Paaglo ke stock mein Naya Maal Aaya –
1652. 
      
1653. ************ ***
1654. Kaun sa gham hai jo yeh haal bana rakha hai, na to makeup hai, na baalon ko sajaa rakha hai, aur khama-kha cherti rehti hai yeh rukhsaaron ko, Tum ne zulfon ko bohut sar pe chara rakha hai –
1655. 
      
1656. ************ ***
1657. 
      
1658. Jis din se juda vo humse hue, is dil ne dharkna chor diya -hai chaand ka mooh bhi utra utra, taaro ne chamkna chor diya –
1659. 
      
1660. ************ ***
1661. 
      
1662. Kon kehta hai dost ki tumse humari judaai hogi, yeh afwaah zaroor kissi dushman ne uraayi hogi, shaan se rahenge tumahre dil mein hum ne itne dino mein kuch to jagah banayi
1663. hogi-
1664. 
      
1665. ************ ***
1666. 
      
1667. Vo likhte hain humara naam mitti mein -aur mita dete hain, Unke liye ye khel hoga -magar hume to vo mitti mein mila dete hain?-
1668. 
      
1669. ************ ***
1670. 
      
1671. Aap kya jaano hum kitna yaad karte hain, maano ya na maano har pal fariyaad karte hain, Roz khat likhte hain CARTOON NETWORK ko, aur aapko play karne ki maang karte hain?. waaaaahhhhhhhhh. ..
1672. 
      
1673. ************ ***
1674. 
      
1675. yaad mein humne kalam uthaayi, liya paper aur tasveer aapki banayi, socha tha ki usko dil se laga kar rakhenge, magar vo to bacho ko draane ke kaam aayi?
1676. 
      
1677. ************ ***
1678. 
      
1679. Bari asaani se dil lagaye jaate hain, par badi mushkil se waade nibhaye jaate hain, le jaati hai mohabbat un raaho par, jaha diye nahi dil jalaye jaate hain
1680. 
      
1681. ************ ***
1682. 
      
1683. Aap jaise log hume kuch khas lagte hai. mann me har waqt
1684. hum ek aas rakte hai, jaane kab aa jaye sms aapka, is liye cell ko dil ke pass rakte hai.. trinnnn trinnnnn trinnnnn trinnnnnn…
1685. 
      
1686. ************ ***
1687. 
      
1688. Muskura do zara khuda ke vaste, sama-e-mahefil mai roshni kam hai, tum hamare nahi to kya ghum hai, hum tumhare to haiN ye kya kam hai?
1689. 
      
1690. ************ ***
1691. 
      
1692. Aap aik brilliant, beautiful, genius, smart, nice, gud looking, intelligent, respectful, kind, ideal larkay/larki ka sms par rahe ho.
1693. 
      
1694. ************ ***
1695. 
      
1696. Majnu Ko Laila Ka Sms Nahi Aiya..Majnu Ne 3 Din Se Khana Nahi Khaya..Majnu Marne Wala Tha Laila Ke Pyar Mai..Aur Laila Bethi Thi SmS Free Hone Ke Intezar Mai..
1697. 
      
1698. ************ ***
1699. 
      
1700. 5 great people: 1.Quaid, woh to ab rahe nahi 2.Wasim Akram, woh kisi kaam ka nahi, 3.Aishwarya Rai, apni pohanch say bahir. Baqi rahe aap aur hum So keep in Touch… rahoge naa ?
1701. 
      
1702. ************ ***
1703. 
      
1704. Har karz dosti ka ada kaun karega? Hum na rahe to dosti kaun karega? E khuda mere doston ko salamat rakhna, Warna meri shaadi mein dance kaun karega?
1705. 
      
1706. ************ ***
1707. 
      
1708. Tere DIL mein rahenge SMS bankar,Dhadkano mein bajenge RINGTONE bankar,Kabhi apne DIL se juda mut Samajana,Hum tere saath chalenge NETWORK bankar!
1709. 
      
1710. ************ ***
1711. 
      
1712. Hum dua karte hain Khuda se, ki wo aap jaisa dost aur na banaye, Ek Cartoon jaisi cheez hai humare paas, kahin wo bhi common na ho jaye!
1713. 
      
1714. ************ ***
1715. 
      
1716. Zindagi behaal hai, Sur hai na taal hai, Msg box bhi kangal hai, kya aapki sms factory me hartal hai, Yaar kuch to bhejo ye meri mobile ki zindagi ka sawaal hai.
1717. 
      
1718. ************ ***
1719. 
      
1720. Unka ashiyana dil mein basa rakha hai, Unki yadon ko seene se laga rakha hai, Pata nahi yaad aate hain wohi kyun, Vaise dost to hamne auron ko bhi bana rakha hai.
1721. 
      
1722. ************ ***
1723. 
      
1724. Dil mein umeedo ki shamma jala rakhi hai, Humne apni alag duniya basa rakhi hai, Is umeed ke saath ki ayega SMS aapka, Humne mobile par nazrein jama rakhi hein.
1725. 
      
1726. ************ ***
1727. 
      
1728. ************************************
1729. Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.
1730. 
      
1731. Pappu: Haan papa, chalo maine us saale master ka ghar bhi dekh rakha hai.
1732. 
      
1733. Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
1734. 
      
1735. Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.
1736. 
      
1737. Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?
1738. 
      
1739. Santa: Oye tujhe yeh bhi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI
1740. 
      
1741. Santa: Agar tumhe kuch ho gaya to mein Pagal ho jaaunga.
1742. 
      
1743. Jeeto: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey?
1744. 
      
1745. Santa: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai
1746. 
      
1747. Napoleon: There is no such word as ‘Impossible’ in my dictionary.
1748. 
      
1749. Santa: To dictionary dekh kar kharidni thi …!
1750. 
      
1751. Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
1752. 
      
1753. Santa: Tipu’s skeleton.
1754. 
      
1755. Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
1756. 
      
1757. Santa: That was Tipu’s skeleton when he was child
1758. 
      
1759. Sadhu: Bachcha teri biwi ko chuddail chipak gayee hai. Upaaye karvaao.
1760. 
      
1761. Banta: Upayaye? Baba, agar do behenein gale mil rahi hain to is mein harz hi kya hai ?
1762. 
      
1763. Banta: Yaar teri wife ki maut ka bara afsos hua, vaise hua kya tha?
1764. 
      
1765. Sant: Goli lagi thi mathe main.
1766. 
      
1767. Banta: Waheguru ji ka shukar kar ke aankh bach gayi.
1768. 
      
1769. Captain of Military: Naujawanon aage bado
1770. 
      
1771. Santa aage nahin bada
1772. 
      
1773. Captain: Tum aage kyun nahin bade?
1774. 
      
1775. Santa: Apne kaha 9 jawanon aage bado, mein 10ve number pe tha
1776. 
      
1777. Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got
1778. 
      
1779. irritated… drank poison & said,
1780. 
      
1781. Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!
1782. 
      
1783. Museum Administrator: That’s a 500-year-old statue u’ve broken.
1784. 
      
1785. Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.
1786. 
      
1787. Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
1788. 
      
1789. Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
1790. 
      
1791. Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
1792. 
      
1793. Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye
1794. 
      
1795. Santa: Raat film main ek chudail kabhi mere aage, khabhi mere peechhe ghoom rahi thi…
1796. 
      
1797. Jeeto: Koun si film thi ?
1798. 
      
1799. Santa: Apni shaadi ki movie thi !
1800. 
      
1801. Santa: Doc saab, mein Chashma laga ke pad to sakoonga?
1802. 
      
1803. Doc: Haan, bilkul.
1804. 
      
1805. Santa: To phir theek hai doc saab varna Anpad aadmi ki zindagi bhi koi zindagi hai.
1806. Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto, Banta asks: Y r u removing a
1807. 
      
1808. wheel from ur auto?
1809. 
      
1810. Santa: Can’t u read ‘Parking for two wheelers only
1811. 
      
1812. 
      
1813. ************************************
1814. Pyar Ki Gadi me kabhi petrol nahi hota,
1815. pyar k safarme kabhi panchar nahi hota.
1816. Pyar jivan ki aisi gadi hai jisme
1817. 2 se jayada passenger nahi hota
1818. `
1819. Namaskar!
1820. Apki Dosti ki Battery Low Ho Rahi Hai,
1821. Kripya Aap 3 SMS KARKE TURANT RECHARGE KARE!
1822. FROM:
1823. DSNL
1824. (Dosti Sanchar Nigam Ltd.)
1825. `
1826. Arz kiya hai,
1827. Tu gaya uski gali main,
1828. Tu gaya uski gali main,
1829. Bola dil se dil laga Lo,
1830. Jab dekha uski mummy ko to bola,
1831. “Jute chappal” thik karva Lo.
1832. `
1833. AJ kal ladkiyo ke kapde
1834. yaha se less waha se less,
1835. kabhi sleevless to kabhi backless
1836. or koi ladka ghur k dekhe to-
1837. “Oh How Mannerless”
1838. =====================
1840. Pappu ek party mein gaya aur waha usne 8 butter naan kha liye.
1841. Kuch der baad toilet mein pet pakad ke ro raha tha bhagwan se request kar raha tha ki, Hey bhagwan ya toh jaan nikal de ya naan nikal de!”
1842. `
1843. Ek larka apni girlfriend se milne gaya, kuch baat ke baad uski
1844. girlfirend chaye(tea) banane ke liye kitchen chali gayi.
1845. Girlfriend ka mobile sofay pe dekh kar larky ne socha ke
1846. chalo dekhte hai mera number iss ne kis naam se save kya hai?
1847. 
      
1848. Dear, sweetu ya jaanu.
1849. Jab usne misscall di toh screen pe likh raha tha “Murgha No.5? Calling”.
1850. 
      
1851.  
1852. ************************************
1853. `
1854. 1 khwab ,1 pyar ,1 haqiqat ho tum .
1855. Dosti me padnewali har zaroorat ho tum.
1856. Jisko roj itne SMS karnepade,woh musibat ho tum.
1857. `
1858. Ab Aur Manzil Pane Ki Hasrat Nahi
1859. Kisi Ki Yaad Me Mar Jane Ki Fitrat Nahi
1860. Aap Jese Dost Jabse Mile
1861. Kisi Aur Ko Dost Banane Ki Jarurat Nahi
1862. `
1863. Kuch dost palbhar me bhula diye jate hai
1864. kuch dost pal-pal yad aate hai
1865. hum apse yahi puchna chahte hai
1866. k dosto ki is kataar me hum kaha aate hai
1867. `
1868. KHUSHI se dil ko aabad karna
1869. GAM ko dil se aazad karna
1870. Bas itni gujaarish hai aapse ki
1871. ho sake to din mein ek baar yaad jaroor karna
1872. `
1873. Zindagi zakhmo se bhari hai,
1874. waqt ko marham banana seekh lo.
1875. Harna toh hai hi maut ke hatho ek din,
1876. Filhaal zindagi ko jeena seekh lo
1877. `
1878. Har yado me usi ki yad rehti hai.
1879. Meri ankho ko usi ki talash rhti hai.
1880. kuch tum b dua kro yaro.
1881. Suna hai dosto ki dua me farishto ki fariyad hoti hai…
1882. `
1883. Khusiyo ka ek sansaar leke ayenge,
1884. Patjhar mein bhi bhar leke ayenge,
1885. Jab bhi pukarenge aap pyaar se,
1886. Zindgi se saansen udhar leke ayenge…
1887. `
1888. Thoda socha hai humne …
1889. thoda jaana hai humne…
1890. Mushkil se magar pehchana hai humne…
1891. Koi aap jaisa na tha na hoga…
1892. isliye dost aapko mana hai humne
1893. `
1894. Lamhe ye Suhane saath ho na ho,
1895. Kal me aaj jaisi koi baat ho na ho,
1896. Aapki dosti hamesha is DIL me rahegi,
1897. Chahe kabhi mulakat ho na ho.
1898. `
1899. Itni dosti naa karo ki bigad jaye hum.
1900. thoda danta bhi karo ki sudhar jaye hum.
1901. ho jaye gar humse koi khata to ho jana khafa,
1902. magar itna bhi nahi k mar hi jaye hum.
1903. `
1904. ZAMANE KI HAR JANNAT TUMHARI HOGI
1905. YE AASMAAN YE ZAMI TUMHARI HOGI
1906. MUJHSE KEH BHI NA PAOGE USKE PEHLE
1907. MERE HISSE KI HAR KHUSHI TUMHARI HOGI
1908. `
1909. bikhri ankhon se moti hum piro na sake teri yaad me sari raat so na sake
1910. beh na jaye ansuon me tasvir ye soch kar
1911. hum ro na sake
1912. `
1913. Gum ki aahat bhi na aaye tere dar par,
1914. pyar ka samunder ka tu bhi ek kinara ho,
1915. kabhi bhool se jo tapke teri aankh se moti,
1916. thame wohi jo tujhe sab se pyara ho !!!
1917. `
1918. Kisi mor pe ham ap ko khoney nahi denge..
1919. Juda hona chaho to honey nahi denge…
1920. Chandni raton man aye gi meri yad…
1921. Meri yad ke wo pal ap ko soney nahi denge
1922. `
1923. Bhulana tumhe na asaan hoga jo bhule tumhe wo nadan hoga aap to baste ho ruh me hamari, bus aap hame na bhulana ye aapka ehsaan hoga.
1924. `
1925. aaj door se hi koi salaam kar gaya,
1926. apni yadon ka gulaam kar gaya ,
1927. apni zingagi girvi rakhi thi jiske paas,
1928. aaj wohi hume nilaam kar gaye……..
1929. `
1930. Khuda ke Ghar se Kuch Gadhe farar hogaye
1931. kuch to pakde gaye
1932. kuch hamare yaar hogaye…
1933. 
      
1934.  
1935. ************************************
1936. what is real love?
1937. so i tell you a sweet story…..
1938. ek sparrow ko ek white gulaab se pyar ho gaya,
1939. usne gulaab ko propose kiya,
1940. Gulaab ne javab diya ki jis din main laal ho jaunga us din main tumse pyarkarunga,
1941. javab sun ke sparrow gulaab ke aas- pass kanto pe lotne lagi,
1942. or uske khoon se gulaab laal ho gaya,
1943. ye dekh gulaab ne bhi usse kaha ki vo bhi usse pyaar karta hai,
1944. par tab tak sparrow mar chuki thi ,
1945. that’s true love story..
1946. 
      
1947. Happy Valentines Day
1948. 
      
1949.  
1950. ************************************
1951. Pareshaan thi Chintu ki wife
1952. Non-happening thi jo uski life
1953. Chintu ko na milta tha aaram
1954. Office main karta kaam hi kaam
1955. `
1956. Chintu ke boss bhi the bade cool
1957. Promotion ko har baar jate the bhul
1958. Par bhulte nahi the wo deadline
1959. Kaam to karwate the roz till nine
1960. `
1961. Chintu bhi banna chata tha best
1962. Isliye to wo nahi karta tha rest
1963. Din raat karta wo boss ki gulami
1964. Onsite ke ummid main deta salami
1965. `
1966. Din guzre aur guzre fir saal
1967. Bura hota gaya Chintu ka haal
1968. Chintu ko ab kuch yaad na rehta tha
1969. Galti se Biwi ko Behenji kehta tha
1970. `
1971. Aakhir ek din Chintu ko samjh aaya
1972. Aur chod di usne Onsite ki moh maya
1973. Boss se bola, “Tum kyon satate ho ?”
1974. “Onsite ke laddu se buddu banate ho”
1975. `
1976. “Promotion do warna chala jaunga”
1977. “Onsite dene par bhi wapis na aunga”
1978. Boss haans ke bola “Nahi koi baat”
1979. “Abhi aur bhi Chintus hai mere paas”
1980. `
1981. “Yeh duniya Chintuon se bhari hai”
1982. “Sabko bas aage badhne ki padi hai”
1983. “Tum na karoge to kisi aur se karunga”
1984. “Tumhari tarah Ek aur Chintu banaunga”
1985. `
1986. ************************************
1987. 
      
1988. Dear subscribers,
1989. You are kindly informed that Mr.Rahul’s mobile will be switched-off on 14.2.2010
1990. (Valentines Day) to avoid unwanted proposals. Sorry :
1991. 
      
1992. 
      
1993. Q. What do you call a fat lady waiting for a bus?
1994. A. Moti-vating!!!
1995. 
      
1996. Q. What is the difference between WATCH & WIFE?
1997. A. Ek bigadti hai to bandh ho jati hai… Doosri bigadti hai to ‘SHUROO’ ho jati hai
1998. 
      
1999. Q. Doctor: App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai.
2000. A .Man: Hoga, zarur hoga; 25 saal se mera khoon jo pee rahi hai.
2001. 
      
2002. Q. What’s the similarity between MOBILE and MARRIAGE?
2003. A. In both cases you feel ‘aur thoda ruk jata to accha model milta’
2004. 
      
2005. Q. Ek admi ne sadhu se kaha, meri biwi bahut pareshan karti hai, koi upaay bataiye.
2006. A. Sadhu bola , saale, Upaay hota to main sadhu kyoon banta?
2007. 
      
2008.  
2009. ************************************
2010. 
      
2011. Pahala : Mere dadaji ki itani badi ladamani thi ki
2012. sari duniya ke jaanvar usi me chara kha lete the
2013. Dusra : Bus ? mere dadaji ke pass to itna bada
2014. bambu tha ki wah aasmaan ko be chu leta tha.
2015. Pahala : Kyun fenkata hai,tere dadaji use rakhte kahan the?
2016. Dusra : Tere dadaji ki ladamani me.
2017. `
2018. Tinu : Kauwa telephone par baith kar
2019. kanw kanw kyon kar raha hai?
2020. Chinu : Lagta hai wah apani aawaj
2021. dur tak pahunchana chahta hai.
2022. `
2023. Grahak : Chotu kya khana pakane me do gante lagate hai?
2024. Chotu : Ji nahi,khana to teen din pahle he ban gaya tha,
2025. ab to bus use garam kiya ja raha hai.
2026. `
2027. Kavi hraday doctor (Apane marij se) :
2028. Kyon bhai raat ko nindra devi aai?
2029. Marij (doctor se) : Pata nahi doctor sahab,
2030. mai to kaafi pahale so gaya tha.
2031. Ho sakta hai usake baad aai ho.
2032. `
2033. Saurabh: Kabhi kabhi mujhe apane charo or
2034. andhera he andhera najar aata hai.
2035. Gaurav : Aisa khastaur se kab hota hai?
2036. Saurabh : Jab hamare ghar ki light chali jaati hai.
2037. ************************************
2038. Quote Of The Day!
2039. Do Not Wait To Strike Till
2040. The Iron Is Hot;
2041. But Make It Hot
2042. By Striking…!
2043. `
2044. When your commitment is deeper
2045. than the sea and your ambition is taller
2046. than the sky, then ur future
2047. will be brighter than the Sun!
2048. `
2049. bush: tujhe swiming aati hai.
2050. laalu: no.
2051. bush: tere se to kutta achha hai
2052. jo swiming kar leta hai.
2053. laalu: tujhe aati hai.
2054. bush: haan.
2055. laalu: fir tere aur kutte me farak kya hai.
2056. `
2057. Wat is d height of confusion?
2058. .
2059. .
2060. Two Earth Worms playing
2061. “HIDE SEEK”
2062. in a plate full of NOODLES ! ! !
2063. `
2064. Zindgi sapno ki nahi haqiqat ki jiya karo,
2065. qki sapno main sirf phool khila karte h.
2066. wo phool tumhe kya zindagi denge
2067. jo khud Do din jiya karte h.
2068. `
2069. Life has no rewinds n forwards.
2070. It unfolds itself at its own pace.
2071. So never miss a chance to live today
2072. to make a beautiful story for tomorrow.
2073. `
2074. ************************************
2075. `
2076. Dil ko kisi ahat ki as rehti he,
2077. Nigaho ko kisi surat ki pyas rhti he.
2078. Tere bina zindgi me kami to nhi,
2079. Phir bi tere bina zindgi udhas rehti he.
2080. `
2081. Sangeet ke saath aawaz..
2082. Phool ke saath khusbu..
2083. Jism ke saath rooh..
2084. Khusi ke saath gham..
2085. Aapko tang karne ko hum..
2086. Har lamha har dam.. :)
2087. `
2088. Zindagi ek hasin khwab he,
2089. Har khwab ko Manzil nahi milti,
2090. Tut kar bikhar jate he wo Rishte,
2091. Jinhe koi Zanzir nahi milti.
2092. `
2093. Luck is not in Ur hands
2094. But work is in Ur hands.
2095. Ur work can make luck
2096. But Luck can’t make Ur work.
2097. So always trust Yourself than Ur luck.
2098. `
2099. Mummy: Jo mera sabse jyada kehna manega,
2100. usse hi me yeh saari toffies dungi.
2101. Kid: Tab to yeh saari toffee
2102. papa ko hi milengi.
2103. `
2104. Har nami me kuch kami to rahegi
2105. Ankhen thodi shabnamito rahengi.
2106. Zindagi ko aap kitna bhi sawariye,
2107. Bin hamarekoi na koi kami to rahegi.
2108. `
2109. Koi Na Mile To Kismat Se Gila Nhi Krte,
2110. Aksr Log Mil Kr Bi Mila Nhi Krte.
2111. Hr Shakh Pr Bahar Aati He Zarur,
2112. Pr Hr Shaakh Pr Phool Khila Nhi Krte.
2113. `
2114. Aankhon ko aapke deedar ki aarzu he,
2115. Dil ko aapke pyaar ki aarzu he.
2116. Kisi mod pe bhul na jana hame ,
2117. Zindagi me hame aapke saath ki aarzu he.
2118. `
2119. Tanha Chhod Kr Hmko Hosla b Dete Ho,
2120. Sans Chheen Kr Jine Ki Dua b Dete Ho.
2121. Ek Tarf Judai Ka Gam b Jari Hai,
2122. Aur Muskrane Ka Mashwra b Dete Ho!
2123. `
2124. Behind ur laughter there r sorrows..
2125. Behind ur smile there r tears..
2126. Behind ur quietness there is a storm..
2127. And behind u..
2128. Is your Bum..!
2129. `
2130. Santa was shopping in store.
2131. Salesman: Sir, would u like
2132. to use a pocket calculator?
2133. Santa: No thanx.
2134. I know how many pockets I have!!
2135. `
2136. Likhte hai hum kisi aur k liye,
2137. Mere dard ko tum apna mat samjhna.
2138. Haqiqat me hum unhe chahte hai bepanah,
2139. Ise tum mera sapna mat samjhna.
2140. `
2141. Kabhi sapne chur-chur ho jate hai,
2142. halaat se DOST bhi dur-2 ho jate hai.
2143. par apki yadein itne state hai
2144. ki SMS karne par mjbur ho jate hai.
2145. `
2146. Authors Unkown
2147. Presented by “PANKAJ”
2148. `
2149. Please join my Shayariworld and Hum-Our- Tum Group Blogs:
2150. For Non Stop Entertainment daily with Thoughts,
2151. Infotainment,Love and Friendship Quotes and
2152. Much More join and Find Yourself
2153. ************************************
2154. 
      
2155. #######################
2156. Naukrani: “Malkin! Chote Baba Ne Cockroach Kha Lia hai.”
2157. Malkin: “Oh God!Call Doctor Fast”
2158. Naukrani: “Aap Tension Na Lo .. Maine Chote Baba Ko BAYGON Pila dia
2159. hai.”
2160. #######################
2161. Pappu Ne Jalte Hue Makan Se 6 Logo Ko Apni Jaan Pe Khelkar Bahar
2162. Nikala
2163. Fir Bhi Usko Jail Ho Gayi
2164. Qun…
2165. Qun..Ki Vo Sab Firebrigade Wale The…
2166. #######################
2167. Santa-Oye!what R U doing?
2168. Banta-Recording this baby’s voice.
2169. Santa-Why?
2170. Banta- When he grows up, I shall ask him what he meant by this …
2171. 
      
2172.  
2173. ************************************
2174. Husbnd: Kya tumne mujhe KUTTA kaha?
2175. No answer
2176. Husbnd again asks, No answer
2177. Then again he asks,
2178. Wife: Nahi kaha. Plz AB bhoka na bandh karo
2179. 
      
2180. Girl:- I LOVE U.
2181. Boy:- Me Too.
2182. Girl:- How Much?
2183. Boy:- As much As U do.
2184. Girl:- “YOU CHEATER!”
2185. I thought u really LOVE me.
2186. 
      
2187. Sir: Wo Teen Words Batao Jo Subse Jyada Bole Jate Hain ?
2188. STUDENT: Mujhe Nahi Pata….
2189. Sir: Shaabash Beta, Baith Jao..
2190. 
      
2191. 
      
2192. CIRCUIT: Oye Short Circuit yeh light bulb pe baap ka naam kya likh raha hai?
2193. SHORT CIRCUIT: Apun baap ka naam roshan kar rehla hai.
2194. 
      
2195. MUNNA BHAI: Mamu, apun bachpan mein dus maley ke building se gir gaya tha.
2196. MAMU: Aarey, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ki tapak gaya?
2197. MUNNA BHAI: Yaad nehin hai yaar. Bahut purane baat hai.
2198. 
      
2199. CIRCUIT: Aye Mamu, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya?
2200. MAMU: Nehin.
2201. CIRCUIT: To kha ke dekh le, pata chal jayega.
2202. 
      
2203. MUNNA BHAI: Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?
2204. CIRCUIT: Bhai, gaadi hai.
2205. MUNNA BHAI: Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?
2206. CIRCUIT: Bole toh, simple hai bhai,
2207. Ox mane Bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi.
2208. 
      
2209. PROFESSOR: Akal bari ki bhains?
2210. MUNNA BHAI: Bole toh pehlay date of birth bata mamu.
2211. MAMU: Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
2212. GIRL:Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol para?
2213. 
      
2214.  
2215. ************************************
2216. Sometimes, my mind asks. Why I miss you? Why I care for you? Why I remember you? Why I text you? Then my heart answered, Mongoloids need more care! Hehehe. Now, you’re smiling! =)
2217. 
      
2218. no visits…
2219. 
      
2220. no calls..
2221. 
      
2222. no sms’s…
2223. 
      
2224. no letters…
2225. 
      
2226. no missed calls..
2227. 
      
2228. I’m worried…
2229. 
      
2230. kya hua zoo waalon ne dobara pakad liya kya?
2231. 
      
2232. Aapke haath me
2233. mobile hai..
2234. 
      
2235. Chehere pe khubh c
2236. smile hai…
2237. 
      
2238. SMS ki aChchi khasi
2239. File hai…
2240. 
      
2241. Phir bhi
2242. SMS nahi karte…
2243. 
      
2244. yaar, yeh kaun sa
2245. stupid style hai??
2246. 
      
2247. Agar Feroz Khan Don hota to dialouge kya hota?
2248. Mere sar par baal aane ka intezaar to 11 shehron ke naayi kar rahe hain, par mere sar par baal aana mushkil hi nahi namumkin hai…
2249. 
      
2250. 4 roses, just for you!
2251. 1st for Friendship.
2252. 2nd for Wealth.
2253. 3rd for Happiness.
2254. 
      
2255. and the last one..
2256. 
      
2257. Kaan ke upar laga lena, mast lagega.
2258. 
      
2259. Who Wants 2 B A
2260. £MILLIONAIRE£
2261. 
      
2262. Let’s play?
2263. Q.Nobody likes you because you are a:
2264. 
      
2265. A.Cunt
2266. B.Wanker
2267. C.Rsole
2268. D.Twat
2269. 
      
2270. 50/50
2271. 
      
2272. Phone a friend?
2273. 
      
2274. Ring me! I will tell you!
2275. 
      
2276. Yaar aaj ka din bada fuddu hai….
2277. 
      
2278. Fuddu se yaad aaya
2279. 
      
2280. Kaisa hai tu..!!
2281. 
      
2282. Press Down if u think u r MAD.
2283. I can’t Believe u Did That!
2284. Again?
2285. For God Sake! LORD!!
2286. Why u Still Doing it?
2287. Truth is out now!
2288. MENTAL CASE!!
2289. 
      
2290. Your network tariff has changed! Call charges are now calculated according to brain size. The smaller the cheaper! Congrats You can make free calls!
2291. 
      
2292. Jis waqt khuda ne tumhe banaya hoga, ek saroor sa uske dil pe chaya hoga… pehle socha hoga tujhe jannat mein rakh lun.. phir usse zoo ka khayal aaya hoga…
2293. 
      
2294. Arz kiya hai… tuhaar chehraa moti samaan… tuhaar chehraa moti samaan… moti hamaar kutte ka naam.
2295. 
      
2296. Kabhi hausla bhi aazmana chahiye, bure waqt me muskurana chahiye… Jab 7ve din mein khujli ho to 8ve din nahaa lena chahiye..
2297. 
      
2298. Tumsa koi zamin par hua to rab se shikayat hogi,
2299. tumsa koi zamin par hua to rab se shikayat hogi,
2300. Ek to jhel liya dusra aaya to kayamat hogi.
2301. 
      
2302. Tu chand mange me chand dedu, tu raat mange me raat dedu, tu dil mange me dil dedu, tu jaan mange… Bas yaar Bhik mangne ki bhi ek limit hoti hai..
2303. 
      
2304. I saw U on ROAD today. U were lukin SO fine, Ur face SO divine, Ur walk SO perfect. My HEART started singing a Sweet Song: WHO LET THE DOGS OUT!
2305. 
      
2306. Taste dis SMS
2307. Did u feel da taste of ginger?
2308. No?
2309. Sure?
2310. Well…..
2311. BANDAR KYA JAANE ADRAK KA SWAAD!!
2312. 
      
2313. Have u seen a monkey wrapped in plastic?
2314. No???
2315. Quickly see your driving license.
2316. 
      
2317. Two devils came in 2 my dreams. They said-We want 2 disturb some good person. I suggest them ur name. They said -We cannot disturb our boss.
2318. 
      
2319. Abe Khajur, Zoo se bhaage hue Langur, abe Sade hue Kele ke Chhilke,
2320. Chuse hue Aam, Circus k Retired Bander,
2321. (Aisa kisi ko na kehna Feel hota hai).
2322. 
      
2323. You=lovely
2324. You=perfect
2325. You=beautiful
2326. You=amazing
2327. You=sweet
2328. You=cute
2329. You=genius
2330. You=fantastic
2331. You=fabulous
2332. Me=liar
2333. 
      
2334. Forest king Virappan died last week. In his memory let us all switch off our mobiles for 2 mins. Plz forward this to all local criminals, as I did.
2335. 
      
2336. U r Ultimate
2337. U r Lovely
2338. U r Likable
2339. U r Unique
2340. In short ……
2341. U r ULLU !!!
2342. 
      
2343. Lost in a zoo I saw many animals..
2344. Mouse
2345. BIRD
2346. Monkey
2347. haila…! U 2
2348. 
      
2349. Where r u? U r u not replying? I m worried coz todays paper I read that due 2 thunder a monkey has been severely injured. So if u r safe, SMS me immediately.
2350. 
      
2351. One day a monkey looked into mirror & said, “Oh my ugly face, fat nose” and killed himself. Promise me u will not look into mirror, coz I dont wanna loose you!
2352. 
      
2353. Flowers+butterfly = A beautiful scene.
2354. Stars+moon = A romantic night.
2355. Rain+monsoon = A lovely weather.
2356. U+ur smile = Bhaago Bhoot aaya.
2357. 
      
2358. ************************************
2359. 
      
2360. Log Aap se Jealous q hotey hein?
2361. 
      
2362. R u intelligent?
2363. Oh No
2364. 
      
2365. R u Beautiful?
2366. Na na
2367. 
      
2368. R ur eyes beautiful?
2369. Oh Nai Oey
2370. 
      
2371. Mai Bataon?
2372. Bcoz
2373. 
      
2374. I’m Your Friend….
2375. 
      
2376. Rajkrishna Verma 
2377. 
      
2378.  
2379. ************************************
2380. 
      
2381. Love Aur Arrange Marriage Main Kya Faraq Hai?
2382. Love Marriage Main Aap Apni Girlfriend
2383. Se Shadi Kartay Hain.Aur
2384. Arrange Marriage Main
2385. Kisi Aur Ki Girlfriend Se. :-)….
2386. 
      
2387.  
2388. ************************************
2389. Santa: I tried ur number so many times, it always said ‘Switched Off’!”
2390. 
      
2391. Banta: Nooo, it’s my HELLO TUNE!
2392. 
      
2393. **********
2394. 
      
2395. Daku Mangal Singh Banta ke ghar mein ghusa aur bola: Sona kahan hai, jaldi bataao
2396. 
      
2397. Banta: Pura ghar khali hai malko, jithe marzi so jao!
2398. 
      
2399. **********
2400. 
      
2401. Santa to Jeeto: Kaisi sabzi banai hai, bilkul Gobar jaisa swad hai.
2402. 
      
2403. Jeeto, maatha peet te hue: Hey bhagwan! Na jane inhone kya-kya kha ke dekha hua hai.
2404. 
      
2405. **********
2406. 
      
2407. A crow shits on a Banta. Preeto gives tissue paper to him.
2408. 
      
2409. Banta: Koi phayda nahin, kauwa toh ud gaya!
2410. 
      
2411. **********
2412. 
      
2413. Banta: Jab main paida hua tha to military walon ne 21 topein chalayeen thi.
2414. 
      
2415. Santa: Kamaal hai ! Sab ka nishana chook gaya ?
2416. 
      
2417. **********
2418. 
      
2419. Santa meets his old friend.
2420. 
      
2421. Santa: A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B, A & B.
2422. 
      
2423. Friend: Oye, iska matlab?
2424. 
      
2425. Santa: Kuch nahin yaar, I mean long time no C.
2426. 
      
2427. **********
2428. 
      
2429. Santa: Drinking n driving dono nalo naal nai ho sakde.
2430. 
      
2431. Banta: Y?
2432. 
      
2433. Santa: Je speed breaker aa gaya taa peg dul jau.
2434. 
      
2435. **********
2436. 
      
2437. Phone ki ring baji. Santa: Phone mere liye ho to kehna mein ghar pe nahin hoon.
2438. 
      
2439. Jeeto phone pe: Wo ghar pe hain.
2440. 
      
2441. Santa: Maine mana kiya that…
2442. 
      
2443. Jeeto: Phone mere liye tha!
2444. 
      
2445. **********
2446. 
      
2447. Santa to a doc: Apne nurse bahut achchi rakhi hai, uska haath lagtey hi mein theek ho gaya.
2448. 
      
2449. Doc: Jaanta hoon, thappad ki awaaz mujhe bhi sunai di thi.
2450. 
      
2451. **********
2452. 
      
2453. Santa was writing the passive voice of ‘I made a mistake.’
2454. 
      
2455. He wrote: I was made by a mistake.
2456. 
      
2457. **********
2458. 
      
2459. Santa: Oh yaar main badi mushkil mein hoon. Meri biwi mujhse ek pappi ka Ek rupeya leti hai.
2460. 
      
2461. Banta: Oh yaar tu lucky hai, auron se to woh 5 rupye leti hai.
2462. 
      
2463. **********
2464. 
      
2465. Santa to Banta: Main apna purse ghar bhool aaya, mainu 1000 Rs chahide si.
2466. 
      
2467. Banta: Dost hi dost de kam aunda hai, le 10 Rs, riksha kar te purse le aa.
2468. 
      
2469. **********
2470. 
      
2471. Banta: Wo ladki deaf lagti hai. Main kuch kehta hoon, woh kuch aur hi bolti hai.
2472. 
      
2473. Santa: Kaise?
2474. 
      
2475. Banta: Maine kaha I Luv U, to woh boli ‘Maine kal hi Naye Sandal kharide hain’
2476. 
      
2477. 
      
2478. Banta to Doctor : Doctor Sahab! Mein apna dimag daan karna chahta hu.
2479. Doctor : Hoga to hum le lenge .
2480. 
      
2481. Son to Dad : Papa, Mein itna bada kab hounga ki mein mummy se bina puche
2482. bahar ja saku?
2483. Papa : Beta abhi itna bada to mein bhi nahi hua!!!
2484. 
      
2485. Autowala to Santa : Sahab, 100 rupaye ho gaye.
2486. Santa ne 50 rupaye autowale ko de diye.
2487. Autowala : Sahab ye to gundagardi hai, meter ki hisab se 100 rupaye hue hai.
2488. 
      
2489. Santa : Tu bhi to baithkar aaya hai, tera kiraya bhi kya mujhe dena
2490. parega!!!
2491. 
      
2492. Ek din Santa ne apni premika ko himmat jutakar keh dala – I love you.
2493. Premika(Gusse se) : Jara pyar se nahi keh sakte?
2494. Santa : I love you Didi!!!!
2495. 
      
2496. Girl : Tum ladke kisi bhi ladki me sabse pehle kya dekhte ho?
2497. Boy : Ye to depend karta hai ki ladki aa rahi hai ya ja rahi hai!!
2498. 
      
2499. Dur gaon me jab maa baap sote nahi the,
2500. to bacha kehta hai, so ja bapu,
2501. so ja, warna ek aur ho jayega!!!
2502. 
      
2503. Girl-to-Boy – Aaye bewafe tune sab kuch saaf kar diya,
2504. mera dil jala kar rakh kar diya
2505. Boy-to-Girl – Aye ladki, teri kurbani bekar nahi jayegi,
2506. bhej de rakh mujhe, bartan manjne ke kaam aayegi.
2507. 
      
2508. Pati aur patni ghumne gaye. Raaste me ek gadhe ko ghaas kata
2509. dekh patni ne pati se kaha – Oo G tumhara rishtedaar ghaas
2510. kha raha hai, namaste karo.
2511. Pati – Namaste Sasur Ji
2512. 
      
2513. Santa ne Banta se kaha,”Sabse bada challenge kya hai?”
2514. Banta replied – Answer sheet ko khaali chod do aur last me likh dena,
2515. paas karke dikha.
2516. 
      
2517. Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
2518. Bhola: Hai.
2519. Frog: Nahin hai.
2520. Bhola: Hai.
2521. Frog: Nahin hai and jumps into the well.
2522. Bhola: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?
2523. 
      
2524. Teacher : Santa batao `M’ for kya hota hai?
2525. Santa : Sir, Mother!
2526. Teacher : Right! Aab batao W for kya hota hai?
2527. Santa kuch sochne lagta hai
2528. Teacher : Santa kya soch rahe ho?
2529. Santa : Sir, mein yeh soch raha tha ki Maa ulti kaise ho gayi?
2530. 
      
2531. Teacher : Santa ye batao tense kitne tarah ke hote hai?
2532. Santa : Teen maidam.
2533. Teacher : Teeno ke ek-ek example batao.
2534. Santa : Madam, meine kal aapki beti ko dekha tha. Aaj mein ussey pyar karta
2535. hu aur kal mein ussey bhaga kar le jaunga.
2536. 
      
2537. ************************************
2538. 
      
2539. CIRCUIT: Oye Short Circuit yeh light bulb pe baap ka naam kya likh raha hai?
2540. SHORT CIRCUIT: Apun baap ka naam roshan kar rehla hai.
2541. 
      
2542. MUNNA BHAI: Mamu, apun bachpan mein dus maley ke building se gir gaya tha.
2543. MAMU: Aarey, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ki tapak gaya?
2544. MUNNA BHAI: Yaad nehin hai yaar. Bahut purane baat hai.
2545. 
      
2546. CIRCUIT: Aye Mamu, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya?
2547. MAMU: Nehin.
2548. CIRCUIT: To kha ke dekh le, pata chal jayega.
2549. 
      
2550. MUNNA BHAI: Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?
2551. CIRCUIT: Bhai, gaadi hai.
2552. MUNNA BHAI: Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?
2553. CIRCUIT: Bole toh, simple hai bhai,
2554. Ox mane Bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi.
2555. 
      
2556. PROFESSOR: Akal bari ki bhains?
2557. MUNNA BHAI: Bole toh pehlay date of birth bata mamu.
2558. 
      
2559. MAMU: Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai, aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
2560. GIRL:Ullu to raat ko bolta hai, aaj din mein kaise bol para?
2561. 
      
2562.  
2563. ************************************
2564. Naukri keliye salaa kuch bhi karega
2565. 
      
2566. 1. when in college : Hum honge kaamiyaab, Hum honge kaamiyaab ek din…..
2567. 
      
2568. 2. when giving interview to Multi National Company: Tu hi re.. Too hi re ….tere binaaa main kaise jiyunn….
2569. 
      
2570. 3. waiting for interview result: Intehaa ho gai Intzaarki.. aayinaaa kuch khabar mere yaarki …
2571. 
      
2572. 4. just joined: Too cheez badi hai mast mast…..
2573. 
      
2574. 5. after some time: Ye kahaan aa gaye hum??
2575. 
      
2576. 6. After some more time: Naa koyi umang hai, naa koyi tarang hai, meri jindagi ek kati Pathang hai (booohoooo)
2577. 
      
2578. 7. floating the resume: kabootar ja ja ja… kabootar ja ja ja… pehele pyar ki peheli chitthi…
2579. 
      
2580. 8. finally when you don’t get a better offer any longer: Jeena Yehaan, marna Yehaan iske siwa jaana Kahaa…!!!
2581. 
      
2582.  
2583. ************************************
2584. Teacher 2 student : What’s Your Cast ?
2585. Student : Pehle to hum Pandit The,
2586. Fir Rajput Hue,
2587. Fir Baniya ho Gaye,
2588. Abhi Hai Darji,
2589. Or
2590. Aage AMMI ki Marzi.
2591. 
      
2592. Agar Basanti Ki Mausi Thakur Ko Rakhi Bandhe to Basanti
2593. or Thakur Ka Kya Rishta Hua ? ? ?
2594. Socho…..
2595. Socho…..
2596. Kuch Bhi Nahi Apna Apna Kaam Karo
2597. Thakur Ke Haath Hi Nahi The.
2598. 
      
2599. If People Say You are Crazy,
2600. be patient,
2601. You are monkey relax,
2602. You are Mad,
2603. be cool,
2604. but
2605. if they say you are Smart ,
2606. Thappad lagana Saale ko !
2607. Mazaak ki bhi had hoti hai.
2608. 
      
2609.  
2610. ************************************
2611. 
      
2612. Boy & Girl in restuarant:
2613. Boy-main last bar puch raha hu,
2614. um mujhse shadi karogi?
2615. Girl- nahi
2616. Boy-soch lo
2617. Girl-keh diya na nahi
2618. Boy-waiter bill alag alag lana.
2619. 
      
2620. 
      
2621. Santa: Woh ladki kitni sundar hai!
2622. Banta: Mujhe uska naam pata hai.
2623. Santa: Kya naam hai uska?
2624. Banta: Woh bank mein kaam karti hai,
2625. Uske counter ke upar uska naam likha tha “CHAALU KHAATA”
2626. 
      
2627. Santa ki shaadi ek nurse se ho gayi.
2628. Banta: Aur santa, kaisi nibh rahi hai?
2629. Santa: Pooch mat yaar, jab tak sister na kaho, bolti hi nahi.
2630. 
      
2631. Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
2632. Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
2633. Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?
2634. Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye
2635. 
      
2636. Girl: Will u marry me?
2637. Santa: No, humare yahan shaadi sirf relatives mein hi hoti hai.
2638. Mummy ne Papa se, Didi ne Jijaji se aur Bhaiya ne Bhabhi se
2639. 
      
2640. Banta ped pe chada to upar baithey bandar ne poocha: Upar kyon aaya?
2641. Banta: Apple khane.
2642. Bandar: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.
2643. Banta: Pata hai, apple saath laya hoon.
2644. 
      
2645. ************************************
2646. Santa: Ghar ka saara keemti samaan chhupa ke rakh do,
2647. mere dost aa rahe hain.
2648. Jeeto: Kyon! Aapke dost chura lengey?
2649. Santa: Nahin, pehchan lengey.
2650. 
      
2651. Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
2652. Santa: Who r u?
2653. Girl: Seeta here.
2654. Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha,
2655. yeh to Ayodhya mil gaya.
2656. 
      
2657. Santa ke bagiche mein bahut sare ped – paudhe thay,
2658. Santa naukar ko bola ped-paudhon ko pani dal.
2659. Naukar: Sahab baarish ho rahi hai.
2660. Santa: Abe to Chatri leke dal.
2661. 
      
2662. Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?
2663. Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha,
2664. har baar lagta hai jaise usko vapas karne aaya hai.
2665. 
      
2666. ************************************
2667. Ek Din CHINTU Ne Apne Dost Ko Bataya- “Meri Bivi PINKI Itni Dayalu Hai Ki Wah Bartan Dhone Wale Ko Pani Garm Karke Deti Hai. Dono Time Chay Aur Khana Bhi Deti Hai.”
2668. “Kamaal Hai! Aaj Ki Mahilaye Itni Udaar Ho Sakti Hai, Par Tumhare Yaha Bartan Kaun Dhotaa Hai?” Mitra Ne Puchha.
2669. “Mai.” CHINTU Ne Jawab Diya.
2670. 
      
2671. Ek Taange Ki Ghodi Jab Chalte-Chalte Ruk Jati, To Kochvaan CHINTU Utarakar Uske Saamane Gana Gata.
2672. Gana Sunkar Ghodi Phir Se Chalne Lag Jaati Thi.
2673. Aakhir Tang Aakar Taange Me Baithi Hui Savari Ne CHINTU Se Puchha- “Bhai, Ye Kya Kissa Hai? Tumhari Ghodi Gana Sunkar Aage Kyo Badhti Hai?”
2674. CHINTU Ne Batayaa- “Babu Ji, Vastav Me Yah Baarat Ki Ghodi Hai……”
2675. 
      
2676. CHINTU Ne Apni Patni PINKI Se Puchha- “PINKI Darling Mere Rishtedaro Me Tum Kise Sabse Jyadaa Chahti Ho, Is Baat Ka Jawab Do.”
2677. “Tumhari Saas Ji Ko.” Patni PINKI Ne Ek Pal Sochkar Jawab Diya.”
2678. 
      
2679. PINKI Ne Apni Padosin Ki Ladki Se Kaha- “Akhir Baat Kya Hai, Tum Muje Dekhte Ho Aankhe Kyo Churakar Bhag Jati Ho?”
2680. “Juth Na Bolo PINKI Anti. Chori Karne Ki Meri Aadat Nahi Hai.” Chh Saal Ki Ladki Ne Kaha.
2681. 
      
2682. Ek Private Narsing Home Me Bharti Daulatamand CHINTU Ji Ne Khubsurat Nars PINKI Se Kaha- “Sister Mai Tumse Shadi Karna Chahtaa Hu.”
2683. “Sorry! Apke Parivar Me “Sister” Se Shadi Karne Ka Rivaz Hai?” PINKI Ne Jawab Diya
2684. 
      
2685. Kisi Kaam Se Pados Ki Ek Vruddh Mahila PINKI Ke Ghar Aai ! Aupachariktaawash Unke Liye Kaanch Ke Gilas Me Sharbat Banakar Le Aai.
2686. “Bahu, Mai Kaanch Ke Gilas Me Nahi Piungi.” Vruddh Mahila Ne Kaha.
2687. “Is Par Paas Baithi PINKI Ki Chh Varshiy Putri Boli- “Isi Me Pi Lijiye. TUT Gaya To Mammi Kuchh Nahi Kahegi.”
2688. 
      
2689. Guddi (Apni Saheli Nirjaa Se)- “Maine Apne Pati Guddu Ko Unki Ashiqmijaji Par Bahut Kharikhoti Sunayi.”
2690. Nirjaa- “Fir To Bechare Sharm Se Pani-Pani Ho Gaye Honge?”
2691. Guddi- “Are Nahi, Ulte Kahne Lage Ki Tumhe Bhi Ameriki Rashtrpati Ki Patni Se Sabak Sikhna Chahiye.
2692. 
      
2693. Guddi (Guddu Se)- “Darling, Kal Ham Shadi Karne Ja Rahe Hai. Mai Tumse Kuchh Nahi Chhipana Chahti.
2694. Apne Pichhale Prem Prasango Ke Bare Me Tumhe Sab Kuchh Bata Dena Chahti Hu.”
2695. Guddu- “Tumne To 2 Saptah Pahle Hi Sab Kuchh Bata Diya Hai.”
2696. Guddi- “Par Wah To 2 Saptah Pahle Ki Bat Hai. Is Bich To….”
2697. 
      
2698. ************************************
2699. ?’
2700. Guddu- “Muje Kutte Ne Kat Liya Hai.”
2701. Doctor- “Kya Tumhe Malum Nahi Hai Ki Mai 7 Baje KeBad Kisi Rogi Ko Nahi Dekhta?”
2702. Guddu- “Ji, Malum Hai, Magar Yah Bat Kutte Ko Malum Nahi Thi.”
2703. 
      
2704. “Akhir T.V. Me Aisi Kya Khubi Hai, To Tum Hamesha Usi Se Chipke Rahate Ho?’
2705. Guddi Ne Guddu Se Jara Jallakar Kaha.
2706. Guddu Ne Jawab Diya- “Dabbu Ki Mammi,
2707. Mai Jab Chahu T.V. Ka Munh To Band Kar Sakta Hu.”
2708. 
      
2709. Misses PINKI Apne Padosi Ke Yaha Bachcha Hone Par Unke Saat Saal Ke Bete CHINTU Se Boli- ‘Ab To Tumhare Yaha Naya Bebi Aa Gaya Hai?”
2710. CHINTU Munh Bichkaakar Bola- “Aunti! Use Naya Kahti Hai? Are! Jab Wah Rota Hai To Lagta Hai Ki Kai Saalo Se Rona Sikh Raha Ho.”
2711. 
      
2712. Cinemahall Me Guddu Ke Bagal Me Baithi 2 Aurate Lagatar Apas Me Baate Kiye Ja Rahi Thi. Thodi Der Tak To Guddu Sabra Kiye Baitha Raha Lekin Fir Junjalaa Kar Bola- “Maaf Kijiyega, Muje Apki Baatchit Ke Chalte Film Ka Koi Dialogue Sunaai Nahi Pad Raha Hai. Aap…..”
2713. “To Ham Bhi Kaha Aap Ko Suna Rahe Hai, Hamari Private Baatchit Chal Rahi Hai.” Unme Se Guddi Ne Munh Banaate Huye Kaha.
2714. 
      
2715. ************************************
2716. Kabhi insan galat ya sahi nahi hota,
2717. waqt use galt ya sahi banata he,
2718. koi dekhta he kichad me kamal
2719. aur kisi ko chand me b dag najar ata…
2720. ————————————-
2721. Mera NaaM BoL Ke
2722. Soya Karo
2723. Khidki KhoL Takia Mod Ke
2724. Soya Karo
2725. 
      
2726. HuM B Aayege TuMhare
2727. KhayaLo Me
2728. IsLiye Thodi Jagah Chod Ke
2729. Soya Karo
2730. ————————————-
2731. Hum ho gaye fana mohabat k is zamane me
2732. Saja k tor pe mili maut paimane me
2733. Mohabat ne nakam kar diya
2734. Warna khubiyaan aur b thi iss diwane me
2735. ————————————-
2736. Santa Ko Koi Mobile Pe Tang Karta Tha Santa Ne New SIM Kharid Kar Use SMS Kia Maine Wo Sim Band Kar Dia He Ab Tera Baap b Tang Nahi Kar Sakta..
2737. ————————————-
2738. Ab To Iqrar Kar Lo
2739. Aur Na Tadpao
2740. Ab To Bata Do
2741. Aur Na Sharmao
2742. Arre Bol Bhi Do
2743. Ki
2744. Aap
2745. Humse
2746. Bhi Zyada Kanjus Ho SmS Karne Me
2747. ————————————-
2748. Santa’s Army Test
2749. 
      
2750. Pappu- 3+5?
2751. Santa- 8
2752. Pappu- 7+3?
2753. Santa- 10
2754. Pappu- 8+8?
2755. Santa- Pata nahi sir
2756. Mere pass sirf 10 hi ungli Hai ..
2757. 
      
2758. 
      
2759. Raju Simaran Ki Ghadi Lekar Ghadisaaj Ke Paas Aya.
2760. “Aap Chabi Kab Bharte Hai?” Ghadisaaj Ne Puchha.
2761. “Raat Me.” Raju Ne Uttar Diya.
2762. “Isaliye Itni Kharab Ho Gai Hai.” Ghadisaaj Bola- “Krupya Subah Chabi Bhara Kare.”
2763. 
      
2764. “Tum Hamesha Murkhtapurn Baate Kiya Karti Ho.” Raju Ne Simaran Se Kaha.
2765. Simaran Shant Swar Me Boli- “Sab Sangat Ka Asar Hai, Yaha Aane Se Pahle Mai Aisi Na Thi. Mera B.A. Ka Certificate Is Baat Ki Gawahi Hai.’
2766. 
      
2767. “Start Ho Jaane Ke Baad Is Gaadi Ka Break Hi Nahi Lagta.” Simaran Ne Raju Se Kaha.
2768. “Kya Tumne Bhi Is Gaadi Ko Drive Kiya Tha.” Raju Ne Puchha.
2769. “Haa.” Simaran Ne Batayaa.
2770. “Tabhi To Tumharaa Asar Is Gaadi Par Pad Gayaa Hai.” Raju Ne Chhinta Diya.
2771. 
      
2772. Mahila Neta Simaran Aurato Ki Ajadi Ke Paksh Me Bhashan De Rahi Thi. Wah Aurato Ko Dimaagi Taur Par Purusho Se Uchch Siddh Karna Chahti Thi. Usne Kaha- “Akhir Pagalkhane Adhiktar Purusho Se Hi Kyo Bhar Rahe Hai? Diwane Adhiktar Purush Hi Kyo Hote Hai?”
2773. Tabhi Waha Maujud Logo Me Upsthit Simaran Ke Premi Raju Ki Awaj Aai. “Are, Unko Diwanaa Banayaa Kisne?”
2774. 
      
2775. Sangitakar Raju Se Simaran Ne Kaha- “Kya Aaj Raat Ke Liye Aap Apna Sitaar Aur Tabalaa Muje De Sakte Hai?”
2776. Kyo…. Kya Mera Gana Sun-Sunakar Aaj Aapka Bhi Man Gane Ko Kar Raha Hai?” Kalakaar Raju Ne Kaha.
2777. ‘Nahi Aaj Mai Aaram Se Sona Chahti Hu.” Simaran Ne Jawab Diya.
2778. 
      
2779.  
2780. ************************************
2781. Ek Sabha Me Simaran Ne Bade Naaj Se Ithlate Hue Raju Se Kaha- “Wah Samne Baitha Vyakit Najaro Me Teri Tarif Kar Raha Hai. Muj Par Mar Mita Hai.”
2782. “Haa Wah Purani Chijo Ka Vyapari Jo Thahra.” Raju Ne Utar Diya.
2783. 
      
2784. Simaran Ne Raju Se Puchha- ‘Aap Sharab Pite Hai?”
2785. Raju Ne Kuchh Der Chup Rahane Ke Baad Kaha- “Pahale Yah Bataao Ki Yah Prashn Hai Yaa Nimantran.’
2786. 
      
2787. Thasaathas Bhare Train Ke Dibbe Me Budhiya Sikudi-Sikudi Khadi Thi. Saamane Lete Babu Sahab Use Dant Chuke The. Tabhi Simaran Raju Ke Saath Train Ke Dibbe Me Aai.
2788. “Badi Bhid Hai.” Simaran Ne Raju Se Kaha.
2789. “Aap Baithiye Na.” Lete Hue Babu Sahab Ne Kaha.
2790. 
      
2791.  
2792. ************************************
2793. Simaran Apne Purane Premi Raju Se Milane Uske Ghar Par Pahunchi.
2794. Raju Apne Chhote-Chhote Bachcho Par Bigad Rahe The.
2795. “Ullu Ka Pattha… Shaitan Ka Bachcha….. Suvar…. .”
2796. Tabhi Samane Se Aati Simaran Bol Uthi- “Kya Baat Hai? Kyo Savere-Savere Apne Rishtedaaro Ko Yaad Kar Rahe Ho.”
2797. 
      
2798. Chintu-Pinki Ne Jab Ek-Dusre Ko Shadi Karne Ka Vachan Diya To Pinki Boli- “Magar Dear, Ek Baat Mai Pahle Hi Saaph Kar Dun.”
2799. ‘Kya?”
2800. “Muje Khana Bananaa Nahi Ataa.”
2801. “Koi Baat Nahi Priy.” Chintu Bola- “Mai Bhi Pahle Hi Ek Baat Saaf Kar Deta Hu.”
2802. “Kya?”
2803. “Mai Ek Kavi Hu…. Mere Ghar Me Pakaane Ke Lie Kuchh Hota Hi Nahi Hai.” Chintu Bola.
2804. 
      
2805. Simaran Ek Hi Pyar Ki Rat Lagati Hui Boli- Mai Tumhe Chahti Hu… Mai Tumhe Chahti Hu.”
2806. “To Fir Tum Mere Sath Shadi Kyo Nahi Kar Leti Simaran?” Raju Bola.
2807. “Please, Apni Jaban Se Mat Firi.” Simaran Ne Munh Banaate Hue Kaha.
2808. 
      
2809. Ek Roj Hamare Yaha Party Thi. Saari Taiyariya Ho Chuki Thi. Mai Table Set Kar Rahi Thi. Kaam Jaldi Ho Jaye, Yah Sochkar Maine Apne Miyaa Raju Ko Almari Se Chainaa Plate Nikalne Ko Kaha.
2810. Thodi Der Baad Unki Kichan Se Awaj Aayi- “Suno Yaha To “Med In Chaina” Wali Koi Plate Dikhai Nahi De Rahi Hai Kaha Par Rakh Di Hai Tumne?”
2811. Muje Us Samay Wakai Samaj Nahi Aaya Ki Mai Unki Baat Sunakar Hansu Yaa Rou?
2812. 
      
2813. Sangit Adhyapikaa Ke Pad Hetu Niyukti Ho Rahi Thi. Interview Ke Dauraan Prashn Puchha Gaya Ki Shastriy Sangit Aur Disko Me Kya Antar Hota Hai?
2814. Simaran Ne Uttar Diya- “Sar Aur Paanv Ka Antar Hai.”
2815. Saakshatkarakartaa Ne Puchha- “Wah Kaise?”
2816. Simaran Ne Jawab Diya- “Shaastriy Sangit Me Log Sar Hilate Hai Aur Disco Me Paanv.”
2817. 
      
2818.  
2819. ************************************
2820. Jinke bo hota hey, bo hatt meyn hilate heyn
2821. Jinke bo nehni hota heyn bo ungly laga kar hilate heyn.
2822. Pata hey kya hey bo ? Bo hey tooth brush.
2823. ………… ……… ……… ……… ……… .
2824. A child had never seen his hips
2825. Once his teacher hit him on his hips.
2826. Childn come back to home & see the mirror,
2827. & said
2828. Kamini ne do tukde kar diye.
2829. ………… ……… ……… ……… ……… .
2830. Biwi ka antim sanskar kar ek aadmi ghar ja raha tha.
2831. Achanak….. Bijli chamki tufan Aaya aur barish Hui,
2832. Dukhi Aadmi bola “Lagta Hai Pahuch Gayi.”
2833. ………… ……… ……… ……… ……… .
2834. KABHI KABHI
2835. MERE DIL ME
2836. KHAYAL AATA HAI……..
2837. ..
2838. ..
2839. ..
2840. KABHI KABHI
2841. MERE DIL ME
2842. KHAYAL AATA HAI……..
2843. KAHA THANA
2844. KABHI KABHI AATA HAI,
2845. AAJ NAHI AAYA
2846. AANE KE BAAD BATAUNGA….
2847. 
      
2848.  
2849. ************************************
2850. 
      
2851. Changu:-Dekho meri shadi-ko 20 saal guzar chuke hay aur
2852. aaj deen tak main ek hi stee-ko prem kar raha hun.
2853. Mangu:-Ye to bahot achhi baat hay.
2854. Changu:-Aur khatarnak bhi,jo meri patni-ko iski jaan (pahechan)
2855. hote hi woh muze jaan se maar dalegi.
2856. 
      
2857. Champa:-Kal mere pati sath meri ladai ho gai,
2858. ghusse-me unho-ne kaha ke tun jahannamme jaa.
2859. Manju:-Fir tune kya kiya?
2860. Champa:-Main us-se kya dab jaungi,main aaj hi mere piyar jaati hun..
2861. 
      
2862. Champa:-Are manju,aaj kyu teri ankhen suji hui hey?
2863. Manju:-Kya kahun? mera baba (Mangu) sari raat ro raha tha,
2864. unghta hi na tha.
2865. Champa:-To ik halrda ga dena tha.
2866. Manju:-Gaya, par mangu-ke pappa-ne kaha rahene de,
2867. iss-se to mangu ro raha hey ye jiyada achha lagta hay…
2868. 
      
2869. 
      
2870. 1980 girls: Maa mei Jeans pehanungi
2871. Maa : Nahin beti log kya kahengey ?
2872. 2009 girls: Maa mein mini skirt pehanungi
2873. Maa: Pehen le beti kuch to pehan le!
2874. 
      
2875. Similarity between Gandhiji & Mallika?
2876. Dono ne kapde tyag diye,
2877. ek ne desh ke liye,
2878. doosre ne Deshwasion ke liye!
2879. 
      
2880. Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,
2881. Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,
2882. Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,
2883. Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai
2884. 
      
2885. Judge: U r crossing the limits.
2886. Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
2887. Judge: How dare you call me saala?
2888. Lawyer: My Lod, I said kaun ‘Sa Law’ kehta hai? (my favorite)
2889. 
      
2890. Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do.
2891. Saheb: Kal aana.
2892. Bhikhari: Saala is kal-kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere lakhon
2893. rupaye fase huye hain.
2894. 
      
2895. Generation Next Motto:
2896. Na hum shaadi karenge,
2897. na apne bachchon ko karne denge.
2898. 
      
2899. What do u call a woman in heaven?
2900. An Angel.
2901. A crowd of woman in heaven?
2902. A host of Angels.
2903. And all woman in heaven?
2904. PEACE ON EARTH!
2905. 
      
2906. What’s the diff between Dava & Daru?
2907. Dava is like girlfriend,
2908. that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife,
2909. Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.
2910. 
      
2911.  
2912. ************************************
2913. TEACHER : PAPPU, your composition on “My Dog” is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his ?
2914. PAPPU: No, teacher, it’s the same dog ! TEACHER : What is the chemical formula for water?
2915. PAPPU : “HIJKLMNO! “!!
2916. TEACHER : What are you talking about?
2917. PAPPU : Yesterday you said it’s H to O !
2918. *-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-
2919. TEACHER : PAPPU, go to the map and find North America.
2920. PAPPU : Here it is!
2921. TEACHER : Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
2922. CLASS : PAPPU!
2923. TEACHER : PAPPU, how do you spell “crocodile”?
2924. PAPPU : “K-R-O-K-O-D- A-I-L”
2925. TEACHER : No, that’s wrong
2926. PAPPU : Maybe it’s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
2927. *-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-
2928. TEACHER : PAPPU, give me a sentence starting with “I”.
2929. PAPPU : I is…
2930. TEACHER : No, PAPPU. Always say, “I am.”
2931. PAPPU : All right… “I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.”
2932. TEACHER : “Can anybody give an example of “COINCIDENCE? ”
2933. PAPPU : “Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.”
2934. *-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-
2935. TEACHER : “George Washington not only chopped down his father’s Cherry tree,
2936. but also admitted doing it. Now do you know why his father didn’t punish
2937. him?”
2938. PAPPU : “Because George still had the axe in his hand?”
2939. *-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-
2940. PAPPU : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
2941. FATHER : No. Why do you ask that?
2942. PAPPU: Well, where did you get THIS mummy then?
2943. *-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-
2944. TEACHER : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green and one is blue with red spots !
2945. PAPPU: Yes it’s really strange. I’ve got another pair just like that at home.
2946. *-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-
2947. TEACHER : Now, PAPPU, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating ?
2948. PAPPU: No sir, I don’t have to, my mom is a good cook.
2949. *-*-*-*-*-*- *-*-*-*-* -*-*-*-*- *-
2950. TEACHER : What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
2951. PAPPU: A teacher
2952. 
      
2953.  
2954. ************************************
2955. Kanjoos: Yeh kaila(banana) kaisay diya?
2956. Shopkeeper: 1Rs.
2957. Kanjoos: 60 Paisa ka deta hai?
2958. S.K: 60 paise mein to sirf chilka milega.
2959. Kanjoos:Ley 40 paisay, chilka rakh aur kela day de
2960. ************ ********* ********* ********* *****
2961. A Kanjoos on his death time.
2962. My wife, where r u ?
2963. Wife:Yes, Im here
2964. My sons & daughters ru all here?
2965. Yes, Papa
2966. Kanjoos:To phir baju wale kamre
2967. ka pankha Q khula hay Visit Us @ www.MumbaiHangOut.Org
2968. ************ ********* ********* *********
2969. 1 Kanjoos 14th floor se neche gira
2970. Girte waqt usne apni ghar ki khirki me
2971. apni wife ko roti pakate hue dekha
2972. to chilla k bola
2973. MERI ROTI NAHI PAKANA!
2974. ************ ********* ********* ********
2975. Kanjoos ne arbi ko khoon dey k uski jaan bachai.
2976. Arbi ne usay MERCEDES gift kardi.
2977. Arbi ko phir khoon ki zarorut pari,
2978. Kanjoos ne phir khoon dia.
2979. Ab k bar Arbi ne till waly laddu gift kiye,
2980. Kanjoos:Ghusse se, mercedez kion nahi di?
2981. Arbi:Munna!!
2982. Ab hamarey ander bhi Kanjoos ka khoon dor raha hay
2983. ************ ********* ********* *******
2984. A Kanjoos called a newspaper office and asked: Mera Baap Mar gaya hai, kya charges hongay?
2985. NewsPaper: Rs.50 per word.
2986. Kanjoos: Oh bohat ziyada hain, Acha likho “Sohan Bhai Died”.
2987. Newspaper: Sir! It should be minimum 6 words!
2988. Kanjoos: Oh ho! Jara sochnay do….. Acha likho……. ……… .
2989. Sohan Bhai Died – Suzuki for Sale .
2990. ************ ********* ********* ******
2991. Kanjoos ask to Taxi Driver: Abdullah Shah Ghazi k mazaar jao gay?
2992. Taxi Driver: Han jaon ga.
2993. Kanjoos ne jaib se shopper nikala or kaha:
2994. Wapsi main langar ki biryani lete aana.
2995. ************ ********* ********* ********* *
2996. Shadi me 1 Kanjoos bahut der tk khata raha,
2997. Kse ne pocha bhae kb tk khaty rhogy?
2998. Kanjoos: Yaar me khud kha kha k thak gya hun pr kya karoon card me likha tha “Dinner 7 to 10pm
2999. ************ ********* ********* ********* ***
3000. Kanjoos to dukandar: Yaar zara toothbrush dena mere brush ka 1 baal toot gaya hai
3001. Dukandar: 1 baal toota to naya q le rahe ho
3002. Kanjoos: jo toota hai woh akhri tha.
3003. ************ ********* ********* *******
3004. EK KANJOOS KHALI KATOREY MAIN
3005. ROTI DABA KAR KHA RAHA THA
3006. WAITER NE DEKA TU POUCHA
3007. AP YAH KIA KAR RAHEY HIAN
3008. KANJOOS NE JAWAB DIYA
3009. MAIN MATHS KA TEACHER HOON OR DALL
3010. SUPPOSE KAR KAY KHARAHA HOON
3011. ************ ********* ********* ********* ***
3012. Titanic K Sath Kanjoos Bhi Doob Raha Tha
3013. Aur Hans Bhi Raha Tha
3014. Dost:
3015. Oye Hans Kyun Raha Hai?
3016. Kanjoos:
3017. Shukar Hai Main Ne Return Ticket Nahi Khareeda..
3018. 
      
3019. ************************************
3020. Masha-alla galib ne kya sher mara hai,
3021. 
      
3022. ..
3023. 
      
3024. ..
3025. 
      
3026. ..
3027. 
      
3028. ..
3029. 
      
3030. ..
3031. 
      
3032. ..
3033. 
      
3034. ..
3035. 
      
3036. ..
3037. 
      
3038. Kya sher mara hai
3039. 
      
3040. ..
3041. 
      
3042. ..
3043. 
      
3044. ..
3045. 
      
3046. ..
3047. 
      
3048. Kya sher mara hai ki
3049. 
      
3050. Sherni VIDHWA ho gayi.
3051. 
      
3052.  
3053. ************************************
3054. -close the doors of the windows please….i have winter in my nose today
3055. -Cut an apple into two halves —take the bigger half
3056. -shhhhh..quiet boys….the principal just passed away in the corridor.
3057. -Both of you three ,get out of my class
3058. -Take a copper wire of any metal …especially of silver.
3059. -Take a 5cm. wire of any length
3060. 
      
3061. 2.at the ground
3062. -All of you stand in a straight circle
3063. -there is no wind in the balloon
3064. 
      
3065. 3.to a boy angrily
3066. -I talk ,he talk,why you middle middle talk?????
3067. 
      
3068. 4.giving punishment
3069. -you three of you , stand together separately
3070. -you,…. go and understand the tree
3071. -Why are you late??????——say YES or NO.
3072. 
      
3073. 
      
3074. Gabbar: Kitne aadmi the?
3075. Sambha: sarkaar 2 the
3076. Gabbar: mujhe ginti nahi aati, 2 kitne hote hain?
3077. Sambha: 2 ek ke baad aata hai
3078. Gabbar: aur 2 ke pehle?
3079. Sambha: 2 ke pehle ek aata
3080. Gabbar: beech mein kaun aata hai?
3081. Sambha: beech mein koi nahi aata
3082. Gabbar: toh phir dono ek saath kyun nahi aate?
3083. Sambha: 2 ek ke baad aata hai kyunki 2 ek se bada hai
3084. Gabbar: 2 ek se kitna bada hai?
3085. Sambha: 2 ek se ek bada hai
3086. Gabbar: 2 ek se ek bada hai toh ek ek se kitna bada hai?
3087. Sambha: Sarkaar, aap mujhe goli maar do
3088. 
      
3089.  
3090. Sun 6 Sep 2009
3091. A.G. Sunte Ho?
3092. Posted by Rahul under Hindi SMS Jokes 
3093. No Comments 
3094. Yeh Biwiyan apne pati ko “A.G.” kyon kehti hain?
3095. Kyonki Biwiyan Sanskari hoti hain;
3096. aur sabke saamne “Abey Gadhe” nahin keh sakti.
3097. Isliye, short form main bulati hain “A.G.”.
3098. 
      
3099.  
3100. ************************************
3101. Want to propose a girl
3102. Just do it – Nike
3103. 
      
3104. Before going to propose to a girl
3105. Believe in the best – BPL.
3106. 
      
3107. If you are hesitating before proposing to a girl
3108. Vicks ki goli lo kich kich door karo – Vicks.
3109. 
      
3110. If you are going to propose to a girl
3111. Chances are 50-50 – Britannia.
3112. 
      
3113. If a girl slapped you when you proposed to her
3114. Take it easy – Limca.
3115. 
      
3116. Girl says NO !
3117. Jor ka jhatka dhire se lage – Mirinda.
3118. 
      
3119. Those who succeed in love always say
3120. We dream because we do – Daewoo.
3121. 
      
3122. If some one wants to write a love letter to his girlfriend
3123. Likho script apna apna.- Rotomac.
3124. 
      
3125. If you love someone
3126. Go get it – Visa power.
3127. 
      
3128. Boy riding a bike with neighbor’s girl
3129. Neighbors envy owner’s pride – Onida.
3130. 
      
3131. Not satisfied with your date
3132. Yeh dil mangey more – Pepsi.
3133. 
      
3134. A guy having a number of girl friends
3135. The Complete Man – Raymonds.
3136. 
      
3137. A smart girl having a number of boyfriends
3138. Yeh hai hamara suraksha chakra – Colgate.
3139. 
      
3140. For those lost in love
3141. Har shaam ka sathi main aur mera – Bagpiper Whisky.
3142. 
      
3143. For a guy ‘r gal who hasn’t yet found one
3144. Dhoondte rehe jayo ge – Surf Exel
3145. 
      
3146.  
3147. ************************************
3148. Go down to c my heart..
3149. .
3150. .
3151. .
3152. .
3153. .
3154. Dekha.
3155. Kitna saaf hai mera DIL,
3156. Bole to ekdam Aapke.
3157. Dimag Ki tarah.
3158. 
      
3159. Ek American nai ek Swami se bola,
3160. Hamare yaha shaadi e-mail se bhi hoti hai.
3161. Is par Swami bola kamal hai,
3162. Hamare yaha to sirf female se hoti hai.
3163. 
      
3164. Pyaar mein Juban chup ho to ankhen bolti hai,
3165. Ankhen chup ho to dil bolta hai,
3166. Aur agar dil bhi chup ho to?
3167. Toh Log bolte hai
3168. “Ram Naam Satya Hai”
3169. 
      
3170. Tohar sms jab awat hai,
3171. Hamar rom-rom khil jawat hai.
3172. Badan ma gudgudi howat hai.
3173. Eema tohar sms ka kouno kasur naahi,
3174. Woh to hamar phoneva ka vibrator on hojawat hai.
3175. 
      
3176.  
3177. ************************************
3178. Chaewala ladki dekh kar bola: bholi si soorat, ankhaon mein masti, dur khadi sharmaye, aae haaye,
3179. Ladki boli: kali si surat, haath me ketli, dur khara chilaye, chae chae.
3180. 
      
3181. Boy says 2 girl: tute hue dil se pyar karogi ya dil tutne tak pyar karogi.
3182. Girl says: tuti hui chapal se pite ga ya chappal tutne tak pitega.
3183. 
      
3184. Hotel mein khana kha k sardar haath k badle wash basin dhone laga.
3185. Waiter ne pucha kya kar rahe ho?
3186. Sardar bola: dikhta nahi lekha hai wash basin
3187. 
      
3188. 
      
3189. Baniya: Yeh kela (banana) kaisay diya?
3190. 
      
3191. Shopkeeper: 1Rs.
3192. 
      
3193. Baniya: 60 Paisa ka deta hai?
3194. 
      
3195. S.K: 60 paise mein to sirf chilka milega.
3196. 
      
3197. Baniya:Ley 40 paisay, chilka rakh aur kela day de
3198. 
      
3199. Baniya on his death time.
3200. 
      
3201. My wife, where r u ?
3202. 
      
3203. Wife:Yes, Iam here
3204. 
      
3205. My sons daughters ru all here?
3206. 
      
3207. Yes, Papa
3208. 
      
3209. Baniya:To phir brabar wale kamre
3210. 
      
3211. ka pankha Q khula hay ??? :D:D:D
3212. 
      
3213. Baniya 14th floor se neche gira
3214. 
      
3215. Girte waqt usne
3216. 
      
3217. apni ghar ki khirki me
3218. 
      
3219. apni wife ko roti pakate hue dekha
3220. 
      
3221. to chilla k bola
3222. 
      
3223. MERI ROTI NAHI PAKANA!
3224. 
      
3225. Baniya ne sheikh ko khoon dey k uski jaan bachai.
3226. 
      
3227. Sheikh ne usay MERCEDEZ gift kardi.
3228. 
      
3229. Sheikh ko phir khoon ki zarorut pari,
3230. 
      
3231. Baniya ne phir khoon dia.
3232. 
      
3233. Ab k bar Sheikh ne till waly laddu gift kiye,
3234. 
      
3235. Baniya:Ghusse se, mercedez kion nahi di?
3236. 
      
3237. Sheikh:Munna…!! Ab hamarey ander bhi baniye ka khoon dor raha hay:)
3238. 
      
3239. Baniya called a newspaper office and asked: Mera Chacha Mar gaya hai, kya charges hongay?
3240. 
      
3241. NewsPaper: Rs.50 per word.
3242. 
      
3243. Baniya: Oh bohat ziyada hain, Acha likho “Chacha Guzar Gaye”.
3244. 
      
3245. Newspaper: Sir! It should be minimum 6 words!
3246. 
      
3247. Baniya: Oh ho! Jara sochnay do….. Acha likho……. ……… .
3248. 
      
3249. Chacha Guzar Gaye – Maruti for Sale .
3250. 
      
3251. Baniya ask to Taxi Driver: CP wale gurudware jayega kya?
3252. 
      
3253. Taxi Driver: Han jaon ga.
3254. 
      
3255. Baniya ne jaib se lunchbox nikala or kaha:
3256. 
      
3257. Wapsi main langar ka khana lete aana.
3258. 
      
3259. Baniya ko bhoot charh gaya ,
3260. 
      
3261. 3 din baad bhoot khud ek ojha k paas gaya aur bola,
3262. 
      
3263. Ojha sahab mujhe bahar Nikalo..! Warna me to bhookha hi mar jaon ga
3264. 
      
3265. Titanic K Sath Baniya Bhi Doob Raha Tha
3266. 
      
3267. Aur Hans Bhi Raha Tha
3268. 
      
3269. Dost: Oye Hans Kyun Raha Hai?
3270. 
      
3271. Baniya: Shukar Hai Main Ne Return Ticket Nahi Khareeda
3272. 
      
3273.  
3274. ************************************
3275. “Agar koi tumhari salary na increase karay , tumhay promotion na day,
3276. phir bhi tum kaam kartay raho….
3277. sirf kaam hi nahi, ziyada kaam karo……
3278. promotion ki ummeed na karo…….
3279. 
      
3280. Dekhna, Uski aatma ek din zaroor jaagay gi.
3281. Aur wo tumhay salary increase aur promotion zaroor dega ”
3282. 
      
3283. Aur agar phir bhi koi salary increase aur promotion nahi milay,
3284. to uske paas jana,
3285. usay ek Guldasta dena….
3286. aur Aahista say kehna……. .
3287. baapu
3288. i am resigning
3289. MAMOO
3290. 
      
3291.  
3292. ************************************
3293. Tumsa koi doosra zameen par hua,
3294. Toh Rab se shikayat hogi….
3295. Ek toh jhella nahi jaata,
3296. Doosra aa gaya to kya halat hogi!!!
3297. 
      
3298. Propose karne ka sher:
3299. Kutta mar gaya rajaai mein,
3300. Main paagal ho gaya teri judaai mein
3301. Haathi nadi mein beh nahin sakta,Apun tere bina reh nahin sakta…
3302. 
      
3303. 1 admi ke paas 1 kauwa tha
3304. Wo bahut naram-mulayam tha
3305. To aadmi uska naam kya rakhega ?
3306. .@
3307. :-C
3308. :'(
3309. :)
3310. ;-)
3311. :-)
3312. My-Crow-Soft !
3313. 
      
3314. What is the diff. Between dava & daru?
3315. Ans: Dava is like girlfriend that comes with expiry date.
3316. Daru is like WIFE, jitni PURANI hogi UTNA sir CHAD ke bolegi…
3317. 
      
3318.  
3319. ************************************
3320. Munna ke radio me kuch problem ho gayi
3321. 
      
3322. to aur kharab ho gaya
3323. 
      
3324. Usne radio khol kar dekha to
3325. 
      
3326. ek mara hua chuha mila
3327. 
      
3328. Ye dekh kar Munna gussa ho gaya aur bola
3329. 
      
3330. “Ye chalega kaise?
3331. 
      
3332. Sala singer hi mara pada hai “
3333. 
      
3334.  
3335. ************************************
3336. In art gallery : couple sees picture of a girl covered by leaf.
3337. Husband was keep watching her.
3338. Wife : ab chaloge bhi ya Hawa k aane ka intezar karte raho gey?
3339. 
      
3340. Sardar sharab peeta ro raha tha.
3341. Sharab wala : kyon ro rahe ho?
3342. Sardar : aur kiya karon? Main jis larki ka naam bhulana chata hoon. Us ka naam yaad he nahi aa raha.
3343. 
      
3344. Wife : I will die.
3345. Husband : I will also die.
3346. Wife : why do u want to die?
3347. Husband : because main itni khushi bardasht nahi kar sakta.
3348. 
      
3349. Maa: beti tum sari raat kahan thi?
3350. Beti: main sari raat apne boy friend k saath thi.
3351. Maa: to kar aayi apna mouh kala.
3352. Beti: to kiya hua fair & lovely hai na.
3353. 
      
3354. Raat ki khamoshi raas nahi aati
3355. Meri parchayi bhi ab mere paas nahi aati
3356. Kuch aati hai toh bas teri yaad
3357. Jo aakar ek pal bhi mujhse door nahi jaati..
3358. 
      
3359. Raat gujri phir mehekti subah ayi,
3360. Dil dhadka phir tumhari yaad ayi,
3361. Aanko ne mehsoos kiya uss hawa ko ,
3362. Jo tumhe chhukar hamare pass ayi.
3363. 
      
3364. Aankhon ki zuban wo samaj nahi pate
3365. Honth magar kuch keh nahi pate
3366. Apni bebasi kis tarah kahen
3367. Koi hai jinke bina hum reh nahi pate
3368. 
      
3369. Hum aapko in aankho mein,
3370. Yun basa liya karte hai,
3371. Ja sake jaha tak hamari ye nazar,
3372. Aapko har jagha paa liyaa karte hai.
3373. 
      
3374. Patient to Doc: Aapne nurse bahut achhi rakhi hai,
3375. uska haath lagte hi main theek ho gaya.
3376. Doctor: Jaanta hu,
3377. thappad ki awaaz mujhe bhi sunai di thi…
3378. ===========================
3380. Husband asked his newly married wife, she had any boyfriend before marriage?
3381. Wife: silent
3382. He said, main is khamoshi ko kiya samjhon?
3383. Wife replied: Kamine! Ginay to do :p
3384. ………… ……… ……… ……… …
3385. Sardar by mistake goes into ladies toilet, all ladies suddenly stand up!
3386. Sardar: izzat dil mai ho bus yahi kafi hota hai, Betho Betho
3387. ………… ……… ……… ……… …
3388. Hathi aur chenti ka prem vivah hua,
3389. Dusre din hathi mar gaya,
3390. Cheenti boli “wah re mohabbat”
3391. Ek din ka pyar mila,
3392. Aur sari umar kabar khodne ka kaam mila
3393. ………… ……… ……… ……… …
3394. Ek bar 300 pathan ship main travel kar rahe tahe,
3395. Lekin sare k sare mar gaye.
3396. Kaise?
3397. Nothing serious.
3398. Ship bich main kharab hogai.
3399. To dhakka dene niche utar gaye.
3400. 
      
3401.  
3402. ************************************
3403. Titanic was sinking.
3404. 
      
3405. An Englishman asked Santa, “How far is land”?
3406. Santa: 2 KMs.
3407. 
      
3408. Englishman jumped into sea.
3409. Englishman: Now, which direction?
3410. 
      
3411. Santa: Downwards !
3412. 
      
3413. **********
3414. 
      
3415. Two days of powercut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators.
3416. 
      
3417. **********
3418. 
      
3419. How did Santa tried to kill a bird??
3420. 
      
3421. He took it to the top of a building and dropped it from there to die.
3422. 
      
3423. *********
3424. 
      
3425. Santa: I have swallowed a Kay.
3426. 
      
3427. Doctor: When?
3428. 
      
3429. Santa: 3 months back!
3430. 
      
3431. Doctor: What were you doing till now?
3432. 
      
3433. Santa: I was using duplicate key, now I have lost it too.
3434. 
      
3435. *********
3436. 
      
3437. Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I’ve seen ur password. It’s ****. Santa: U r wrong. It’s 1394.
3438. 
      
3439. *********
3440. 
      
3441. Santa falls in love with a nurse… After much thinking, he finally writes a love letter to her: “I luv u sister .”
3442. 
      
3443. *********
3444. 
      
3445. Santa asked Banta: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in evening?
3446. 
      
3447. Banta: Very simple, because he is PM not AM.
3448. 
      
3449. *********
3450. 
      
3451. Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller?
3452. 
      
3453. Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl .
3454. 
      
3455. *********
3456. 
      
3457. A lady calls Santa for repairing door bell.
3458. 
      
3459. Santa doesn’t turns up for 4 days.
3460. 
      
3461. Lady calls again, Santa replies: I’m coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out.
3462. 
      
3463. *********
3464. 
      
3465. Lady to inspector Santa: My husband went to buy potatos 5 days ago, he hasn’t came back yet!
3466. 
      
3467. Santa: Why don’t u cook something else? .
3468. 
      
3469. **********
3470. 
      
3471. An Englishman and Santa inside the toilet.
3472. 
      
3473. Englishman: Good evening, how do u do?
3474. 
      
3475. Santa: Good evening, we open the zip and do!
3476. 
      
3477. ***********
3478. 
      
3479. Santa opened a petrol pump, but not even one customer went there. You know why?
3480. 
      
3481. Because he opened petrol pump on second floor..
3482. 
      
3483. ***********
3484. 
      
3485. Ultimate answer while changing the job.
3486. 
      
3487. Interviewer: Why did you changed your last job?
3488. 
      
3489. Santa: Because the company shifted and didn’t tell me where.
3490. 
      
3491. ************
3492. 
      
3493. Santa and Banta went for a drive.
3494. 
      
3495. Santa: Hey, look out from the window, are the indicators working or not?
3496. 
      
3497. Banta puts his head out & says “Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No, Yes-No!!!”
3498. 
      
3499. ************
3500. 
      
3501. Santa’s wife dies. He is calm, but his wife’s lover is crying furiously…
3502. 
      
3503. Finally, Santa consoles him: Don’t worry buddy, I will marry again.
3504. 
      
3505. ************
3506. 
      
3507. Why did Santa keep the door open while bathing?
3508. 
      
3509. Because he was afraid that someone might watch him from the key hole.
3510. 
      
3511. ************
3512. 
      
3513. Santa phoned his wife: I am not coming home . The steering, dash board, gears of car have been stolen.
3514. 
      
3515. After sometime he calls again: I am coming , earlier I sat on the back seat.
3516. 
      
3517.  
3518. ************************************
3519. Na ‘Sachhai’ badi hai,
3520. Na ‘Khuddari’ badi hai,
3521. Na ‘Bhalai’ badi hai,
3522. Na ‘Imandari’ badi hai.
3523. Bada woh hai jiske ghar ke bahar Mercedes Benz khadi hai.
3524. 
      
3525. Munna Bhai : are circuit apun ko ek nurse se pyar ho gela hai letter me kya likhu ?
3526. Circuit : simple bhai likhne ka ———
3527. DeAr sIsTeR I LOVE U!
3528. Tumhara munna bhai
3529. 
      
3530. Mai Tumare Gum Me.
3531. Pita
3532. Gaya
3533. 
      
3534. Pita Gaya
3535. 
      
3536. Pita
3537. Gaya
3538. 
      
3539. Pita Gaya
3540. 
      
3541. Pita
3542. Gaya
3543. 
      
3544. Pita Gaya
3545. 
      
3546. Pita
3547. Gaya
3548. 
      
3549. Kya
3550. Kare
3551. 
      
3552. BaDa
3553. ThumsUp
3554. 
      
3555. Khatam
3556. Hi NaHi HoTa.
3557. 
      
3558. Shadi karni thi Par kismat khuli nahi
3559. Taj banana tha Par mumtaj mili nahi
3560. Ek din kismat khuli Aur sadi ho gaye
3561. Ab Taj banana hai Par ab ye mumtaj marti nahi
3562. 
      
3563.  
3564. ************************************
3565. 
      
3566. Saali to Jija:
3567. kya kr rhy ho?
3568. 
      
3569. Jija:
3570. Makhiyan mar rha hon
3571. 
      
3572. Saali:
3573. kitni mari?
3574. Jija:
3575. 3 male or 2 female
3576. 
      
3577. Saali:
3578. Kse malom?
3579. Jija:
3580. 3 shrab ki botle se chipki hui thi or 2 phone se
3581. 
      
3582. Joota chupai ki rasm k waqt dulhay ki aik sali ne kaha:
3583. main to 1100 loongi.
3584. 2nd sali boli mai to 2100 loongi.
3585. peche se 1 pathan bola: 2310 lelo, us main FM Bhi hai.
3586. 
      
3587. Jija: saali ji, ap k yahan ki sab se famous cheez kaunsi he?
3588. Saali: jija ji, jo famous thi, use to ap legae.
3589. 
      
3590.  
3591. ************************************
3592. Sardar english k paper main fail ho gaya,
3593. He did translation:
3594. 
      
3595. 1.Main aam admi nahi hon
3596. I m not a mango man
3597. 
      
3598. 2.Sarda or garma fruit hain.
3599. Colda & hota r fruits
3600. 
      
3601. 3.Mujhey bhi english ati hay
3602. English comes 2 me also
3603. 
      
3604. 4.do ro do chaar.
3605. give and give four.
3606. 
      
3607. 5.Mera taluk hari pur hazara se hay
3608. I belong 2 green pur thousanda:
3609. 
      
3610. 
      
3611. Judge: U r crossing the limits.
3612. Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
3613. Judge: How dare you call me saala?
3614. Lawyer: My Lord, I said kaun Sa Law kehta hai?
3615. 
      
3616.  
3617. ************************************
3618. Kyo har bar mosam ki tarha badal jate ho,
3619. har naye din hamara dil dukhate ho.
3620. Ye bat sunkar humariruh tak kaap gai hai ki aap bartan dhonewale sabun se nahate ho!
3621. 
      
3622. PRAVEEN LOHAR VARADA
3623. 
      
3624.  
3625. ************************************
3626. Ek baar sardar ji kahain jaa rahe tahe k ek diwar par padha “padhne wala gadha”
3627. Sardar ko bohat ghussa aya, unhon ne mita kar likh diya! “likhne wala gadha”
3628. 
      
3629. Train mai ek husband apni wife say: “tujh say shadi kar k pachta raha hoon.”
3630. “dil karta hai tujhe kutttay k aagay daal doon”
3631. Samnay wala passenger bola: “bhao bhao”
3632. 
      
3633. Wife mere iraday baray neek hain, aap 1000 mai ek hain.
3634. Sardar: mera dimag bara taiz hai, pehlay ye bata baki 999 kon hai?
3635. 
      
3636. Sardar looked himself in mirror and said:
3637. Is ko kahain dekha hai. Then he said:
3638. Oye yaad aya, ye to woh he kamina hai jo
3639. Shaadi ki album main meri biwi k saath hai :p
3640. 
      
3641.  
3642. ************************************
3643. Santa: My mobile bill how much?
3644. Call centre girl: Sir, just dial 123 to know current bill status
3645. Santa: Stupid, not CURRENT BILL my MOBILE BILL.
3646. 
      
3647. Banta built 2 Swimming Pools. And he left one of them unfilled?
3648. When asked him, he said,
3649. “Oye, that’s for those who don’t know Swimming.
3650. 
      
3651. Banta: I think that girl is deaf.
3652. Friend: How do u know?
3653. Banta: I told I Love her, but she said her chappals (Shoes) are new
3654. 
      
3655. Santa: Miss, Did u call me on my mobile?
3656. Teacher: Me? No, why?
3657. Santa: Yesterday I saw in my mobile- 1 Miss Call”.
3658. 
      
3659. Judge: Don’t U have shame? It is d 3rd time U R coming to court.
3660. Banta to judge: U R coming daily, don’t U have shame?
3661. 
      
3662. Sir: What is difference between Orange and Apple?
3663. Santa: Color of Orange is orange, but color of Apple is not APPLE.
3664. 
      
3665. Santa in airplane going to Bombay . While its landing he was excited and shouted: ” Bombay … Bombay ”
3666. Air hostess said: “B silent.”
3667. Santa: “Ok. Ombay. Ombay”
3668. 
      
3669. Banta got a sms from his girl friend: “I MISS YOU”
3670. Banta replied: “I Mr. YOU” !!.
3671. 
      
3672. After finishing MBBS Banta started his practice.
3673. He Checked 1st Patient’s Eyes, Tongue & Ears with a Torch & Finally Said: “Oye, Torch is okay”
3674. 
      
3675.  
3676. ************************************
3677. Every Mom’s advice to her son …..
3678. 
      
3679. 1960’s Mom to her son- beta, apne caste ki ladki
3680. 
      
3681. se hi shaadi karna
3682. 
      
3683. 1970’s…… …. Apne religion ki
3684. 
      
3685. 1980’s ……… Apne level ki
3686. 
      
3687. 1990’s ……… Apne desh ki
3688. 
      
3689. 2000 ……… Apni umar ki
3690. 
      
3691. .
3692. 
      
3693. .
3694. 
      
3695. .
3696. 
      
3697. .
3698. 
      
3699. 2009 ……… Koi bhi ho,
3700. 
      
3701. par Ladki se hi karna……. . !!!
3702. 
      
3703. sahi hai na ?
3704. 
      
3705. 
      
3706. TEAchEr ne ClASs me laDake kI COPY chECk karate
3707. hue usase kahA- “muJHe hairAnI hai ki tum akele
3708. itanI sArI galatiyAN karate ho.”
3709. laDake ne khaDe hokar kahA- “ye sArI galatiyA
3710. maine akele nahI ki sar, mere pApA ne bhI isame
3711. merI sahAyatA kI hai.”
3712. 
      
3713. ek Alochak ne ek lekhak ke upanyAs kI bahut
3714. AlochanA kI.lekhak gusse me Alochak ke pAsS
3715. pahUNchA aur bolA- “AApane AAj tak to koI
3716. upanyAs likhA nahI hai, tum AlochanA kaise
3717. likh sakate ho.”
3718. Alochak- “agar mai murgI kI tarah aNDA nahI
3719. de saktA to kyA huA, AmaleT ke bAre me murgI
3720. se jyAdA jAnatA hu.”
3721. 
      
3722. bhikhArI- “das paise kA savAl hai, bAbujI das paise kA …. .”
3723. bAbujI- “are CUM-se-CUM merI aukAt dekhakar mANg,
3724. kyA das paise mANg rahA hai.”
3725. bhikhArI- “bAbujI ek rupaye kA savAl hai.”
3726. bAbujI- “abe… apanI aukAt dekhakar mANg.”
3727. 
      
3728. das sAl kA ek bachA baDI talInatA ke sAth
3729. ek pustak paDh rahA tha, jiska shirShak thA,
3730. bachcho kA lAlan-pAlan kaise kare?”
3731. bachche kI mAA ne dekhA to hairAnI se pUChHa-
3732. “tU ye kitAb kyo paDh rahA hai?”
3733. bachchA- “mai jananA chAhatA huN ki merA
3734. lAlan-pAlan Thik se ho rahA hai yA nahI.”
3735. 
      
3736.  
3737. ************************************
3738. Khush Ho Tum Tu Khushi Meri Ho
3739. Ro Tum Tu Ankhen Num Meri Hon
3740. Ae Dost Hamari Dosti Itni Gehri Ho K
3741. Sarak K Us Paar Tum Pito Aur Ghalti Meri Ho
3742. 
      
3743. Khuda Karay K Tum Ko Judai Na Milay
3744. Kabhi Bhi Tanhai Na Milay
3745. Mujhay Sms Na Karo To Kuch Aisa Ho
3746. K Mosam Ho Sardi Ka Or Tum Ko Razai Na Milay
3747. 
      
3748. Girl : (Emotionaly)
3749. Darte hain agg say kahin jal na jayen..
3750. darte hain Khwab say Kahin Toot Na jayen..
3751. Lakin Sub Say Ziada Darty hain Es baat say…
3752. Kay App Hamain KAhin Bhool Na jaye..
3753. Boy :
3754. Yeh mat sochna ki hum bhool jayenge tuemhe…
3755. Door rehkar bhi hamesha chahenge tumhe…
3756. Agar Dost bankar raas na aaye to…..
3757. Bhoot bankar darayenge tumhee…
3758. 
      
3759. Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye
3760. Aaj vo humse jannat mein takra gaye
3761. Aur humare dil se awaaz nikalii….
3762. Fiteh Mooh…Tusin Ethe vii aa gaye !!!
3763. 
      
3764. Dil se ek ishq ki Ek application kar raha hoon.
3765. Pyaar se ‘debug’ karna mein wait kar raha hoon.
3766. Tumhaare intezaar mein neend aayee so gaya.
3767. Yeh dekho mera connection’time out’ ho gaya
3768. 
      
3769. Bhehar ki gali main paan ki dukan
3770. Devdas ne dekhi Paro Ki muskan,
3771. Devdas ne khilaya paro ko paan,
3772. Khake paan Paro bolo”Shukriya Bhai Jan”
3773. 
      
3774. Bolaa dukaan-daar, ke kyaa chahiye tumhain
3775. Jo bhii kaho gai merii dukaan per wo paogai
3776. maine kahaa ke kutte ke khaane kaa cake hai
3777. bolaa yahiin pe khaaoge yaa leke jaaogai
3778. 
      
3779. Kar diya izhare-ishq hamne telephone par,
3780. laakh rupaye ki bat thi,
3781. do rupaye main ho gayee (wah wah)
3782. 
      
3783. Kaash Tere Chehre Pe
3784. Chickenpox Ke Daag Hote
3785. Chand To Tum Ho Hi
3786. Sitare Bhi Saath Hote
3787. 
      
3788. Khirki khuli zulfein bikhri
3789. Dilne kaha dildar nikla
3790. Par haire meri footi kismat
3791. Nahaya hua sardar nikla..
3792. 
      
3793.  
3794. ************************************
3795. ANKHE KHULI REHTI THI JINKI PALKE CHUMNE KO,
3796. LAB PYASE REHTE THE JINKE HONT CHUMNE KO ,
3797. WO AAJ HBI JATI HAI KAYAMAAT BAAN KAR,
3798. BUS FARK ITNA HAI HAMARE NAHI KISI AUR KE SAAT GHUM NE KO.
3799. 
      
3800. 
      
3801.  
3802. ************************************
3803. Bas!!
3804. Mujhse aur nahi hoga…
3805. Main hi karun to ap kab karoge??
3806. Maine apko kiya na!!!
3807. Chalo ab ap karo…
3808. Karo na…
3809. I’m excited….
3810. Karo na…
3811. SMS
3812. 
      
3813. Gabbar: Ye haath mujhe de de thakur, ye haath mujhe de de!!!
3814. Thakur: Le le kutte, magar do haath to pehle hi tere paas hai ab kya
3815. ’sherawali mata’ banega…
3816. 
      
3817. 1 ladke ki shadi nahi ho rahi thi,
3818. Wo mannat mangne gaya.
3819. Wahan uski Maa khai me ghir gayi,
3820. Wo bola – “Ya Khuda teri Khudai Apni to mili nahi Bapu ki bhi gawayi”.
3821. 
      
3822. Oooofff ! Kya aakhein hain,..
3823. Ooooff kya aakhein hain, (wah !! Wah !!)
3824. Oooff kya aakhein hain, kya zulfein hain..
3825. (Zara Gaur Farmayiyega. ..)
3826. Ooooff! Kya aakhein hain, kya zulfein hain..
3827. Masha-allah kya soorat paayi hai.
3828. Aisa lagta hai….
3829. Aisa lagta hai jaise…….
3830. 
      
3831. PEEPAL KE PED SE BHOOTNI UTER AAYI HAI..
3832. 
      
3833.  
3834. ************************************
3835. When I am: KareebThere is only: Khamoshi
3836. 
      
3837. I want to speak: Dil Se
3838. 
      
3839. That’s my kind of: Ishq
3840. 
      
3841. I want this to be: Gupt
3842. 
      
3843. As I always have: Darr
3844. 
      
3845. That I will loose you: Sajani
3846. 
      
3847. And that would be great: Sadma
3848. 
      
3849. I am your: Mr.Aashique
3850. 
      
3851. But sometimes bit: Deewana
3852. 
      
3853. Tell me: Hum Aapke Hain Kaun
3854. 
      
3855. As I feel : Kuch Kuch Hota Hai
3856. 
      
3857. In this : Duniya Dilwalon Ki
3858. 
      
3859. I told you: Maine Pyar Kiya
3860. 
      
3861. May be : Dil To Pagal Hai
3862. 
      
3863. Because: Jab Pyar Kisise Hota Hai
3864. 
      
3865. The whole world appears as: Dushman
3866. 
      
3867. But anyway: Pyar To Hona Hi Tha..
3868. 
      
3869. 
      
3870. Do you know the
3871. Brand Name of the Shoe hurled at PC.?
3872. 
      
3873. ?
3874. 
      
3875. ?
3876. 
      
3877. Guess.!
3878. 
      
3879. Try.!
3880. 
      
3881. Give up.?
3882. 
      
3883. Ans. :
3884. 
      
3885. Adidaa.!!
3886. 
      
3887.  
3888. ************************************
3889. An old rich man marries a young gal.
3890. Interviewer asks the girl: Apne inmein shaadi ke liye kya dekha?
3891. Girl: Ek to inki income aur doosre inke din kum.
3892. 
      
3893. PRINCIPAL :Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
3894. MUNNA BHAI :Boley to Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu?
3895. 
      
3896. TUSI bade hi gr8 ho,
3897. RASGULLE ki pl8 ho,
3898. PEPSI ka cr8 ho,
3899. ANDE ka oml8 ho,
3900. SMS KARANE ME bade le8 ho,
3901. JALEBI ki tarah stra8 ho,
3902. KHER jo bhi ho mere fevr8 ho…!
3903. 
      
3904. Boy : Janeman! Tute huye dil se pyaar karogi ya dil tutne tak pyaar karogi.
3905. Girl : Harmkhor! Tuti huyi chappal se pitega ya chappal tutne tak pitega.
3906. 
      
3907.  
3908. ************************************
3909. Sardar ne makhi k par tor k kaha,Urr ja.
3910. But..
3911. makhi nahin uri, Sardar ne kah1a,
3912. Sabit hua agar makhi k par tor diyejain to makhi sun nahin sakti.
3913. Boy:Tum mujh se shadi kro gi?
3914. Girl:NahiBoy: Laikin Q?
3915. Girl:Meray ghar walay nhi manain gay
3916. Boy:Ghar main kon kon hay?
3917. Girl:1 Husband aor 3 bachay.
3918. Hum apko dekhne ki chahat rakhte hain,
3919. Aapki har baat dil me chupaye rekhte hain,
3920. Najane kub AAP T.V per aa jayen,
3921. Isi liye din raat Cartoon Network lagae rekhtay hain..
3922. 1 makhi ganjay k sir per ja bethi,
3923. Dosri makhi nay kaha,
3924. “Wah kia ghar mila hai tujhey”
3925. Pehli makhi boli:
3926. “Kahan yaar, abhi to sirf plot kharida hai”.
3927. Hum doston ko bohut buri saza dete hain,
3928. Wah wah..!!
3929. Irshad Irshaad..!!
3930. Hum doston ko bohut buri saza dete hain,
3931. Joota nahin maartay, bus Moza sungha dete hain…
3932. 
      
3933. ************************************
3934. Mere Marne ke baad aey dost aansoo mat bahana…
3935. agar yaad aaye meri to seedhe upar chale aana…
3936. Agar waha me na dikhu to samajh lena tu narak me hai…
3937. 
      
3938. Arz hai unki galiyon ke chakkar kaat kaatte
3939. kutte hamare yaar ho gaye,
3940. wo to hamare na ho sake par hum
3941. kutton ke sardar ho gaye…
3942. 
      
3943. Dil k dard ko zuba par laate nahi,
3944. hum apni aankhon se ansu bahate nahi,
3945. Zakhm chahe kitne hi gahre kyo na ho,
3946. hum DETTOL k siva kuch laagate nahi.
3947. 
      
3948. Tum paas hot to tujhpe pyar aata hai,
3949. Tum door ho to tera intezaar satata hai.
3950. Kya kahe is dil ki haalat ki,
3951. Tujhe yaad kar karke hume bukhaar ho jaata hai.
3952. 
      
3953. Amiri ke khwab Dekhne laga,
3954. Angreji Sharab Chakhane laga,
3955. Baap ne kabhi Pager nahi dekha,
3956. aur beta Mobile rakhne laga!!!
3957. 
      
3958.  
3959. ************************************
3960. Kanjoos to dukandar: Yaar zara toothbrush dena mere brush ka 1 baal toot gaya hai
3961. Dukandar: 1 baal toota to naya q lerahe ho
3962. Kanjoos: jo toota hai woh akhri tha…
3963. 
      
3964. Titanic K Sath Kanjoos Bhi Doob Raha Tha
3965. Aur Hans Bhi Raha Tha
3966. Dost:
3967. Oye Hans Kyun Raha Hai?
3968. Kanjoos:
3969. Shukar Hai Main Ne Return Ticket Nahi Khareeda…
3970. 
      
3971. 
      
3972. Plz don”t read this
3973. 
      
3974. Nahi to
3975. ho jayega
3976. 
      
3977. Kya?
3978. 
      
3979. Arre wahi
3980. jis se hum darte hai
3981. ?
3982. ?
3983. ?
3984. wahi jo is umar me aksar ho jata hai
3985. ?
3986. ?
3987. ?
3988. dekha ho gaya na
3989. ?
3990. ?
3991. TIME WASTE!!
3992. 
      
3993. Submitted By Dheeraj
3994. 
      
3995.  
3996. ************************************
3997. Sholay : Scene - Viru ke rishte ki baat
3998. 
      
3999. New sholay :
4000. scene ( viru ke rishte ki baat )
4001. 
      
4002. Jay : Mausi, ladka Satyam mein kaam karta hai..
4003. Mausi : Hai ram..!!! Aur kahin try kar raha hai kya??
4004. 
      
4005. Jay : kahan mausi, 2 saal Satyam me rahne ke baad koi Company leti kahan hai…
4006. Mausi : Hi Raam to kya 2 saal se Satyam mein hi hai..
4007. 
      
4008. Jay : haan socha tha 2 saal me salary hike hogi hi. Aajkal to salary
4009. bhi jyada NAHI mil rahi hai use..
4010. Mausi : To kya salary BHI KAM milti HAI..?
4011. 
      
4012. Jay : Ab appraisal bhi to asaani se kahaan hota hai mausi..
4013. Mausi : Hai hai …!! To kya appraisal bhi nahi hota uska..?
4014. Jay : Senior se ladhai karne ke baad appraisal mein achhi rating to
4015. nahin milti hai na… Mausi..
4016. Mausi : To kya seniors se ladhta bhi hai..?
4017. 
      
4018. Jay : Ab 2 saal tak onsite Jane ko na mile to ho jaati hai kabhi kabhi
4019. anban..
4020. Mausi : To kya AB tak ek baar bhi onsite nahi gaya ..???
4021. 
      
4022. Jay : Ab Outdated technology ke developer ki kismat mein to yehi
4023. likha hai mausi..
4024. Mausi : kya kaha ladka Outdated technology mein kaam karata hai..!!!
4025. 
      
4026. Mausi : Kaunse college se padhai ki hai..?
4027. Jay : Uska pataa lagte hi hum aapko khabar de denge!!
4028. Jay : To main rishta pakka samjhuna mausi???
4029. Mausi : Beta, kan khol kar sun Le…Sagi mausi hoon basanti ki, koi
4030. sauteli maa nahi….Bhale hi hamaari Basanti Call Center wale Chandu
4031. se shaadi kar Le par Satyam ke employee se katai nahin karegi .
4032. 
      
4033.  
4034. ************************************
4035. Devdas ko babu ji ne kaha ghar chod do,
4036. Maa ne kaha paro chod do ,
4037. Paro ne kaha sharab chod do,
4038. Par TUMSE kis ullu ne kaha sms karna chod do…
4039. 
      
4040. Duniya mein bewafaon ki kami nahin hai.
4041. Ab suraj ko hi dekho lo aata hai USHA ke saath,
4042. Rehta hai KIRAN ke saath
4043. Aur jaata hai SANDHYA ke saath.
4044. 
      
4045. Hum ne jindagi ki shuruaat ‘s’ se ki.
4046. S se SURAJ
4047. S se SUBAH
4048. S se SWAGAT
4049. S se SAAZ
4050. S se SANGIT
4051. Par fir ‘s’ se SAMAY ne aeisi karvat badli ki ‘s’ se hamari SHAADI ho gai.
4052. Aur fir jivan ka arth ‘s’ se SAANS,SASURAL, SALA ,SALI, SASUR aur ‘SANKAT’ ho gaya .
4053. To hum ‘s’ se SAMADHI lene wale hai, is liye ‘s’ se thoda dur rahena mere yaro.
4054. 
      
4055. Pyar karnevale PARESAN ho jate he
4056. Shadi karnevale SHARABI ho jate he,
4057. Divorce denevale DEVDAS ho jate he,
4058. Ham se Dosti karnevale MSG SE MEHARBAN ho jate he.
4059. 
      
4060.  
4061. ************************************
4062. Har Sawal Se Dat Kar Ladna,
4063. Fekne Me Kami Mat Karna,
4064. Mouka Mila To Peche Bhi Dekhna,
4065. Aur Ek Baath Yaad Rakhna,
4066. Aage Wala Ka Paper Apna Samajhna
4067. 
      
4068.  
4069. ************************************
4070. Parh likh kar kya karna hai,
4071. Akhir Ek din sabko marna hai,
4072. Mar kar bhi agar janam liya,
4073. to fir sala nursery se hi to parhna hai
4074. 
      
4075. 
      
4076. Ravan ki 20 aankhein thi magar nazar sirf ek aurat pe; jab ki aapki 2 aankhein aur nazar har ladki pe…!
4077. Toh asli Ravan kaun??…bolo bolo
4078. 
      
4079. Baniye ki wife bimaar thi, light na hone ki wajah se usne candle jala di aur bola: Doc ko lene jaa raha hun, agar tumhe lage ki tum nahin bachogi to plz candle bujha dena
4080. 
      
4081. * Bahu: Maan ji, yeh abhi tak nahin aaye, kahin kisi dusri ladki ke saath…
4082. Saas: Arey kalmuhi, tu hamesha ulta kyun sochti hai? Aisa bhi to ho sakta hai ki kisi truck ke neeche aa gaya ho
4083. 
      
4084. Indian Airlines slogan: A warm experience & motherly treatment… warm b’coz AC doesn’t work & motherly because Air hostesses are above 50
4085. 
      
4086. In a class, teacher asked: If I buy an item@ 12.75 n sell@ 15.25 , it’s loss or profit?
4087. Pappu: Profit in rupees & loss in paise
4088. 
      
4089. Santa bar vich ro reha si. Bartender: Kyon ro rahe ho?
4090. Santa: Hor ki karan? Main jis kudi da naam bhulna chahunda si usda naam yaad hi nahin aa reha.
4091. 
      
4092.  
4093. ************************************
4094. Company ka Employee
4095. Toilet gaya.
4096. Andhar ja kar
4097. seat pe betha.
4098. Saamne Deewar pe likha thaa
4099. 
      
4100. “ABEY ITNA ZOR BUSINESS
4101. PE DETA TOH TARGET PURA HO JAATA !”
4102. 
      
4103.  
4104. ************************************
4105. Old Man-“putar ander se mere daant le aa”
4106. Pota-“par dada ji abhi roti! to bani nahi”
4107. Budda– “o nahi putar roti nahi khani samne wali buddi nu smile deni a ”
4108. 
      
4109. Child: Mom is bar hum sare patakhe is shop se lein gey,
4110. Mom : lekin beta ye to girls hostel hai,
4111. Child: Papa to kahte ha!in k sari phul-jhadiyan yahi rahti hain.
4112. 
      
4113. Ek ladke ko kya chahiye?
4114. 
      
4115. Ek ladki jo pyar de,
4116. Ek ladki jo acha khana banaye,
4117. Ek ladki jo us ki khob khidmat kare,
4118. 
      
4119. Aur ye teeno larkiyan mil jul kar rahain. :p
4120. 
      
4121. Husband apni !wife ka janaza le jaa raha tha.
4122. Janaze k aage ek kutta aur peche aadmiyon ki lambi line thi,
4123. 
      
4124. Ek aadmi aakar pochta hai : bhai sahab ye sab kaise hua?
4125. Husband : is kutte ne kaat liya tha.
4126. 
      
4127. Aadmi : ye kutta ek din k liye udhar main de do.
4128. Husband : peche line main lago. :p
4129. 
      
4130.  
4131. ************************************
4132. Boy said to Girl- Aa mere dil me aaja
4133. Girl replied- Chappal utaroo kya?
4134. Boy- Chal pagli ye koi mandir thode hi h aise hi aaja
4135. 
      
4136. NEW MARRIED COUPLE OF SARDAR & SARDARNI
4137. 
      
4138. Girl- hamari shaadi ko 24 ghante ho chuke h
4139. boy- aur aisa lag raha h jaise kal ki hi baat ho
4140. 
      
4141. I LOVE YOU
4142. I REALLY LOVE YOU
4143. I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH
4144. I SERIOUSLY LOVE YOU
4145. 
      
4146. BECOZ
4147. BHAGWAN KRISHAN SAID
4148. “PAAP SE NAFRAT KARO PAPIO SE NAHI”
4149. 
      
4150.  
4151. ************************************
4152.  Pati Patni
4153. 
      
4154. Patni (Pati Se) – Collage ke bare me
4155. tumhara koi katu anubhav hai?
4156. 
      
4157. Pati (Patani Se) !– Han, Tumhari aur
4158. meri paheli mulakat college me he to
4159. hui thi.
4160. ************ ********* ********* **
4161. Pati ghar pahuncha to patani ne goshana
4162. ki – maine aaj na!ukarani ko nikal diya hai.
4163. 
      
4164. Pati udas hokar – Are, use ek mauka to
4165. diya hota.
4166. 
      
4167. Patni(Pati Se) – Per mai aapko koi mauka
4168. nahi dena chahati.
4169. ************ ********* ********* **
4170. Ek jagadalu !patani pati par baras rahi thi
4171. aur wah bichara deen sakal banaye hue
4172. baitha tha.Patni bol rahi thi kayar kahin
4173. ke ,tum aadami ho ki chuhe?
4174. 
      
4175. Pati Gidgidaya – Shreemati Ji, Mai aapka
4176. pati he hun agar chuha hota to tum thar-thar
4177. kamp rahi hoti.
4178. ************ ********* ********* **
4179. Ek photographer ke pass ek aurat aai aur
4180. boli – Maine apane miya se kaha tha ki topi
4181. pahankar photo mat khinchana lekin topi
4182. utarana bul gaye.Kya aap yeh topi hata
4183. sakate hain?
4184. 
      
4185. Photographer Ne Kaha – Ji han lekin aap
4186. yah to bataiye ki aapke shauhar sidhi mang
4187. nikalate hain yan ulati?
4188. 
      
4189. Aurat Boli – Jab aap topi utarenge tab khud
4190. dekh lijiyega
4191. 
      
4192. 
      
4193. Pathan apni miss se:
4194. Miss kal apne mujhe miss call kyun di the?
4195. 
      
4196. Miss:
4197. mene to ap ko koi miss call nhi di..
4198. 
      
4199. Pathan:
4200. To kal mere mobile pe ye kyun likha arha tha ” 1 MISS CALL “
4201. 
      
4202.  
4203. ************************************
4204. Ek ladki thi deewani si
4205. Ek subject pe woh marti thi
4206. 
      
4207. Books uthakar, chashma lagakar
4208. Library se gu!zarti thi
4209. 
      
4210. Kuchh padna tha shayad usko
4211. Jaane kisse woh darti thi
4212. 
      
4213. Jab bhi milti thi mujhse
4214. Mujhse pooch!ha karti thi
4215. 
      
4216. your course/subjects kaise hoti hai aur
4217. Main bas itna keh pata
4218. 
      
4219. *
4220. *
4221. 
      
4222. “Kitaben.. khuli hon ya hon band
4223. Padhai last night hi hoti hai
4224. 
      
4225. Kaise kahoon main o yaara ye your course/subjects aise hoti hai” [drums]
4226. turu ru ru ru ru ru
4227.  
4228. ************************************
4229. Shehar Ki Gali Mein Paan Ki Dukan, Devdas ne Dekhi Paro Ki Muskan, Devdas ne Khilaya Paro ko Paan, Kha!ke Paan Paro Boli “Shukriya BhaiJaan”
4230. 
      
4231.  
4232. ************************************
4233. train aur lad!ies main kya samanta hai?
4234. train late hoti hai to makeup karti hai.
4235. lady makeup karti hai to late hoti hai.
4236. 
      
4237.  
4238. ************************************
4239. Santa – Why has the
4240. Govt. fixed Voting Age
4241. as 18 y!ears and
4242. Marriage Age as 21 years.? Banta – Govt. ko pata hai
4243. ki Desh sambhalna
4244. Aasan hai, lekin Biwi
4245. ko Nahi.
4246. ===============================
4248. Husband – Tumse Shaadi Karke Mujhe Ek Bahut
4249. Bada Faayda Hua Hai.
4250. Wife – Woh Kya.?
4251. Husband – Mujhe Mere Gunaaho ki Saza
4252. Jeete-Jee Hi Mil Gayi.!
4253. 
      
4254.  
4255. ************************************
4256. Famous Quotes about SACHIN :
4257. > Lara ¤ If Cricket is
4258. a Religion, then
4259. SACHIN is the Only GOD..
4260. > Dhoni ¤ He has scored 16000 Runs.. I’ve Not
4261. Even Faced 16000 Balls..
4262. > Kumble ¤ I’m Fortunate that I’ve to Bowl at him
4263. Only in the Nets..
4264. > Allan Border ¤ It’s Scary.! Where the hell do
4265. We Bowl to Him.?!
4266. > Paul Strang ¤ What we (Zimbabwe) need is
4267. 10 Tendulkars..
4268. > Mathew Hayden ¤ I’ve Seen God.. He Bats at Number 4 for India
4269. in Tests…
4270. 
      
4271.  
4272. ************************************
4273. What’s Similar
4274. between Students
4275. preparing for Exams
4276. and Aamir in movie
4277. Ghajini…
4278. Both Can’t Remember Anything After
4279. Fifteen Minutes….
4280. 
      
4281.  
4282. ************************************
4283. …Some beautiful lines
4284. just for You…
4285. 
      
4286. ————–
4287. _____________
4288. . . . . . . . . . . .
4289. – – – – – – – – –
4290. ……………………
4291. Nice naa.? :)
4292. 
      
4293.  
4294. ************************************
4295. BOY: Mujhse Shaadi Karogi
4296. *
4297. *
4298. *
4299. *
4300. **
4301. GIRL: Kya??????
4302. *
4303. *
4304. *
4305. *
4306. *
4307. *
4308. *
4309. BOY: Achhi Film Hai Na
4310. *
4311. *
4312. *
4313. *
4314. *
4315. *
4316. GIRL: Kutte Ke Bache
4317. *
4318. **
4319. *
4320. *
4321. BOY: What??
4322. *
4323. *
4324. **
4325. *
4326. *
4327. GIRL: Kitne Cute Hote Hai Na
4328. 
      
4329. 
      
4330. BOY TO A GIRL
4331. 
      
4332. BOY- MAI TUMHE BINA TUCH KIYE KISS KAR SAKTA HU
4333. GIRL- IMPOSIBLE.
4334. BOY- LAGI SHART 100-100 KI
4335. GIRL-OK
4336. LADKE NE USE KAS KAR KISS KAR LIYA
4337. GIRL- Y Y YE TO TUMNE MUJHE CHHOO LIYA
4338. BOY- HA MAI SHART HAR GAYA YE LO 100/- RUPYE
4339. 
      
4340.  
4341. ************************************
4342. Ek ladki ne ek ladke ko aawaz lagai….
4343. 
      
4344. O…Bhai Jaan..Please suneye toh zara….
4345. 
      
4346. Ladka bola – Oye…Pahle decide kar Bhai ya Jaan…
4347. 
      
4348. confuse kyu kar rahi hai…
4349. 
      
4350.  
4351. ************************************
4352.  
4353. Manpreet te billo da nawa nawa vyah hoya:
4354. Manpreet Billo Nu:
4355. Billo Chal Honeymoon Tay Chaliyeh
4356. Billo: Suno jee swaray swaray tangh na karo minu kam hai
4357. hali mai kapday dhonay hain, bhanday bhi manjnay hain
4358. tussi ik kam karo honeymoon te Bheeji nu lai jao!!!
4359. 
      
4360.  
4361. ************************************
4362. Pehle woh meri girlfrnd thi,
4363. 
      
4364. Mein bolta tha wo sunti thi,
4365. 
      
4366. Phir woh meri manger bani,
4367. 
      
4368. Woh bolti thi mein sunta tha
4369. 
      
4370. Jab se woh meri BIWI bani,
4371. Hum dono bolte hain
4372. or
4373. muhalla sutna hai
4374. 
      
4375.  
4376. ************************************
4377. Propose karne ka sher:
4378. 
      
4379. Kutta mar gaya rajaai mein,
4380. Main paagal ho gaya teri judaai mein
4381. Haathi nadi mein beh nahin sakta,Apun tere bina reh nahin sakta…
4382. 
      
4383. ~~~~~~~~~
4384. 
      
4385. Tumsa koi doosra zameen par hua,
4386. Toh Rab se shikayat hogi….
4387. 
      
4388. Ek toh jhella nahi jaata,
4389. Doosra AA gaya to kya halat hogi!!!
4390. 
      
4391. ~~~~~~~~~
4392. 
      
4393. Sharab sharir ko khatam karti hai
4394. Sharab samaj ko khatam karti hai
4395. Aao aaj is sharab ko khatam karte hai
4396. Ek botal tum khatam karo ek hum khatam karte hai.
4397. 
      
4398. ~~~~~~~~~
4399. 
      
4400. What is the diff. Between dava & daru?
4401. 
      
4402. Ans: Dava is like girlfriend that comes with expiry date.
4403. Daru is like WIFE, jitni PURANI hogi UTNA sir CHAD ke bolegi
4404. 
      
4405. 
      
4406. Banta to Doctor : Doctor Sahab! Mein apna dimag daan karna chahta hu.
4407. Doctor : Hoga to hum le lenge .
4408. 
      
4409. Son to Dad : Papa, Mein itna bada kab hounga ki mein mummy se bina puche bahar ja saku?
4410. Papa : Beta abhi itna bada to mein bhi nahi hua!!!
4411. 
      
4412. Autowala to Santa : Sahab, 100 rupaye ho gaye.
4413. Santa ne 50 rupaye autowale ko de diye.
4414. Autowala : Sahab ye to gundagardi hai, meter ki hisab se 100 rupaye hue hai.
4415. Santa : Tu bhi to baithkar aaya hai, tera kiraya bhi kya mujhe dena parega!!!
4416. 
      
4417. Ek din Santa ne apni premika ko himmat jutakar keh dala – I love you.
4418. Premika(Gusse se) : Jara pyar se nahi keh sakte?
4419. Santa : I love you Didi!!!!
4420. 
      
4421. Girl : Tum ladke kisi bhi ladki me sabse pehle kya dekhte ho?
4422. Boy : Ye to depend karta hai ki ladki aa rahi hai ya ja rahi hai!!
4423. 
      
4424. Dur gaon me jab maa baap sote nahi the,
4425. to bacha kehta hai, so ja bapu,
4426. so ja, warna ek aur ho jayega!!!
4427. 
      
4428. Girl-to-Boy – Aaye bewafe tune sab kuch saaf kar diya,
4429. mera dil jala kar rakh kar diya
4430. Boy-to-Girl – Aye ladki, teri kurbani bekar nahi jayegi,
4431. bhej de rakh mujhe, bartan manjne ke kaam aayegi.
4432. 
      
4433. Pati aur patni ghumne gaye. Raaste me ek gadhe ko ghaas kata
4434. dekh patni ne pati se kaha – Oo G tumhara rishtedaar ghaas
4435. kha raha hai, namaste karo.
4436. Pati – Namaste Sasur Ji
4437. 
      
4438. Santa ne Banta se kaha,”Sabse bada challenge kya hai?”
4439. Banta replied – Answer sheet ko khaali chod do aur last me likh dena,
4440. paas karke dikha.
4441. 
      
4442. Frog: Tumhare paas dimaag nahin hai.
4443. Bhola: Hai.
4444. Frog: Nahin hai.
4445. Bhola: Hai.
4446. Frog: Nahin hai and jumps into the well.
4447. Bhola: Isme suicide karne waali kya baat thi.?
4448. 
      
4449. Teacher : Santa batao `M’ for kya hota hai?
4450. Santa : Sir, Mother!
4451. Teacher : Right! Aab batao W for kya hota hai?
4452. Santa kuch sochne lagta hai
4453. Teacher : Santa kya soch rahe ho?
4454. Santa : Sir, mein yeh soch raha tha ki Maa ulti kaise ho gayi?
4455. 
      
4456. Teacher : Santa ye batao tense kitne tarah ke hote hai?
4457. Santa : Teen maidam.
4458. Teacher : Teeno ke ek-ek example batao.
4459. Santa : Madam, meine kal aapki beti ko dekha tha. Aaj mein ussey pyar karta hu aur kal mein ussey bhaga kar le jaunga.
4460. 
      
4461.  
4462. ************************************
4463. Sardar: I have’nt slept all night in the train.
4464. Friend: why?
4465. Sardar: Got upper berth.
4466. Friend: why did’nt you exchnged the birth?
4467. Sardar: oye, there was nobody to exchnge in the lower berth…
4468. 
      
4469. A Teacher lecturing on population – In India after Every 10 second a
4470. woman gives birth to a kid.
4471. A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.
4472. 
      
4473. Sardar-why are all these people running?
4474. Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.
4475. Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup, why are others running?
4476. 
      
4477. Teacher: “I killed a person” convert this sentence into future tense.
4478. Sardar: The future tense is “you will go to jail”.
4479. 
      
4480. Sardar gets ready ,wears tie, coat ,goes out, climbs tree, sits on
4481. the branch regularly. A man asks why he does this. Sardar:”I’ve been
4482. promoted as branch manager.”
4483. 
      
4484. Sardarji was filling up application form for a job. He was not sure
4485. as to what to be filled in column “Salary Expected”. After much
4486. thought he wrote : Yes!
4487. 
      
4488. One sardarji professor asked a plumber to come to his college. you
4489. know Why?
4490. Because he wanted to check where the question paper is leaking…
4491. 
      
4492. Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants.
4493. Servant: It”s already raining.
4494. Sardar: So what? take an umbrella and go.
4495. 
      
4496. Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever – What
4497. came first, Chicken or egg?
4498. O Yaar, what ever you order first will come first.
4499. 
      
4500. Sardar wins Rs. 20 crore from Rs. 20 lottery ticket. Dealer gave Rs.
4501. 11 crore after deducting tax.
4502. Angry Sardar: “Give me Rs. 20 crore or else return my 20 Rs. back.!
4503. 
      
4504. Postman:- I had to come 5 miles to deliver you this packet
4505. Sardar:- why did you come so far. Instead you could have posted
4506. it….
4507. 
      
4508. Sardar proposed to a Girl……Girl said ‘I’m 1 year older to
4509. you’………..
4510. Sardar said ‘Oye no problem Soniye, I’ll marry you NEXT YEAR.
4511. 
      
4512. Sardar’s wish :when i die,i wanna die like my grandpa who died
4513. peacefulyin his sleep not screamin like all the passengers in the
4514. car he was driving..
4515. 
      
4516. Sardar at an Art Gallery: I suppose this horrible looking thing is
4517. what you call modern art ?
4518. Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, that’s a mirror!
4519. 
      
4520. Sardar was writing something very slowly.
4521. Friend asked:” Why are you writing so slowly?
4522. Sardar: “I’m writing to my 6 yr old son, he can’t read very fast.
4523. 
      
4524. Lady Shouted At Midnight “SARDAR G” jaldi Utto BILLI Sara Doodh Pee
4525. Gahi hai “SARDAR” Replied angerly “ULLO KEE PATI ” Kitnee Bar
4526. Samjahya Hai KAMEEZ Pa Ka soya Kar…
4527. 
      
4528.  
4529. ************************************
4530. A Sardar, his wife with son and daugher went to a
4531. party.. he introduced his family to his friends
4532. saying..” I am Sardar.. and this is Sardarnee …
4533. this is my kid and that is my kidney…!!”
4534. 
      
4535. American says “US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai..”
4536. Sardarji ” India me to.. shaadi Fe-mail se hoti hai…!!!”
4537. Nurse – “Mubarak ho.. Sardarji.. aap papa ban gaye..”
4538. Sardarji – ” Meri wife ko nahi bolna.. main use
4539. surprise doonga..!”
4540. 
      
4541. What is the difference between WATCH & WIFE ………
4542. Ek bigadti hai to bandh ho jati hai……
4543. Doosari bigadati hai to “SHUROO’ ho jati hai
4544. 
      
4545. Ek sardar apne bete se bola : Bevakuf, kaisa machis leke aaya hai,
4546. ek bhi tili nahin jalti.
4547. Beta : Kya baat karte ho papa, sab tili test karke laya hu.
4548. 
      
4549. Doctor to Sardaar : App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai?
4550. Sardaar : Hoga, Jarur hoga; 25 saalse mera khoon jo pee rahi hai….
4551. 
      
4552. Sardar found answer to most difficult question question ever
4553. What comes first – the chicken or the egg ?
4554. O yaar, jiska order pahele dooge, wo ayega !!!
4555. 
      
4556.  
4557. ************************************
4558. MUNNA BHAIN M.B.B.S ON PRACTICE
4559. 
      
4560. Munna: Abay Circuit! Jaa baajo walay ghar say Doctor ko bula ke
4561. laa, meri tabiat kharab ho reli hai.
4562. Circuit: Aey Bhai ! aap to khud doctor ho.
4563. Munna: Bolay to meri fees buhat zyada hai.
4564. 
      
4565. Munna: Bolay to Apun ko tera operation dobara karna paray ga. Kyun
4566. ke apun kay rubber ke gloves teray andar hi reh gaye hain.
4567. Patient: Agar yeh baat hai to mujhay jaanay do. Mien tumharay
4568. gloves ki payment kar doon ga.
4569. 
      
4570. Munna: Bolay to darad kahan hai aapko.
4571. Patient(F): Pooray badan mien hai
4572. Munna: Yeh kaisay ho sakta hai ray, kuch detail batao.
4573. Patient: Tocuhes her right knee and says here, then touches her
4574. earlobe and says here, then touches her
4575. left cheek and says here, etc.
4576. Munna: Aesay hi khaali peeli tension de reli hai, teri finger mien
4577. dard hai.
4578. 
      
4579. Patient: Doctor aap ko yakeen hai ke mujhay Namoonia (pneumonia)
4580. hai, kyun ke pichlay dino aik doctor meri friend ka Namoonia ka
4581. ilaaj karta raha aur woh Typhoid say mar gayi.
4582. Munna: Haan ray meray ko pakka yaqeen hai, tu namoonia say hi maray
4583. ga.
4584. 
      
4585. Aik patient Munnabhai k paas aaya, Munna nay us ka chekup kiya aur
4586. bola
4587. Munna: Tumharay pass ziyada waqt nahi hai
4588. Patient: Meray pass kitna time hai.
4589. Munna: Dus (10)
4590. Patient: Kya Dus…. Minute….. Ghantay………. Din……?
4591. Munna: No (9), Aath (8), Saat (7),…….
4592. 
      
4593. Raat ka time jab Munna aur chinkie apnay bed room mien so rahay thay
4594. to phone ki ghanti baji.
4595. Voice: Aray Doctor sahab jaldi aayeay! Meray betay nay blade kha
4596. liya hai
4597. Munna abhi jaanay ke liye tayyar hi hota ke dobara phone aata hai.
4598. Voice: Doctor Sahab! Ab aanay ki koi zaroorat nahi, meray husband
4599. ko shave ke liye doosra blade mil gaya hai.
4600. 
      
4601. Aanand jab end mien bachon ko story sunata hai to bolta hai;
4602. Aanand: “Munna nay kaha tha ke woh mujhay aik month mien meray
4603. feet pay khara kar de ga”
4604. Bachay: Phir?
4605. Aanand: “Phir kya, mujhay us ka bill pay karnay ke liye apni car
4606. bechna pari.”
4607. 
      
4608. Munna: Apna munn kholo…..
4609. Patient opens his mouth: Aaaaaaaaaaaaa……….
4610. Munna throws his torch light in his mouth: Hmmmmmmm….. Torch sahi
4611. hai.
4612. 
      
4613. Chinkie: Tum hamaisha clinic mien apnay saath meri photo bhi kyun
4614. le jaatay ho.
4615. Munna: Apun ko jab bhi koi mushkil aati hai, apun tumhari picture
4616. dekh leta hoon aur woh problem solve ho jaati hai.
4617. Chinkie: Dekha! Mien tumharay liye kitni achi aur powerful hoon.
4618. Munna: Haan! Apun teri picture dekhta hai aur apnay aap say bolta
4619. hai “Is say bari bhi koi problem ho sakti hai bhala.”
4620. 
      
4621. Munna: Teray ko maaloom hai k cigarette aik tarah say slow poison
4622. ka kaam karta hai.
4623. Patient: To mujhay konsa marnay ki jaldi hai
4624. 
      
4625.  
4626. ************************************
4627. Makhi aur Machar
4628. 
      
4629. Machar aur Makhiki ho gayi shadi.
4630. Pehli hi raat se ho gayi machar ki barbadi,
4631. kehta hai ki meri kismat hi khoti hai,
4632. makhi raat ko goodnight lagake soti hai.
4633. 
      
4634. What a Women Want
4635. 
      
4636. 6″-6.2″ jis ki height ho,
4637. jeans dheeli magar body tight ho.
4638. biwi ka har nakhra uthaye,
4639. itna mizaaj us ka light ho.
4640. HUSBAND AISA APNA BRIGHT HO……..
4641. uff tak na kare itna quite ho,
4642. dinner banaye wo jab bhi romantic night ho.
4643. shopping ker k jab bhi aaoon,
4644. bolay,”tum kitni nice ho”.
4645. HUSBAND AISA APNA BRIGHT HO…….
4646. hamesha jo haar maan jaye,
4647. jab bhi kabhi fight ho.
4648. saas sasur se agar karoon koi baat,
4649. bole begum tum hi bus right ho.
4650. HUSBAND AISA APNA BRIGHT HO…….
4651. 
      
4652. Arz Kiya Hai….
4653. Na woh inkaar karti hai
4654. Na woh inkaar karti hai
4655. KAMBAKHT mere hi sapno mein aakar
4656. Mere dost se pyaar karti hai.
4657. 
      
4658. Jab Jab gire Baadal, Teri Yaad aayi
4659. Jhoom ke barsa Saawan, Teri Yaad aayi
4660. Bheega main,lekin phir bhi teri Yaad aayi
4661. Kyon na aaye teri yaad?
4662. Tune jo chatri ab tak nahi lautai…
4663. 
      
4664. Lal diwar par chune se likha tha ghalib ne
4665. Lal diwar par chune se likha tha ghalib ne
4666. Yahan likhna mana hai.
4667. 
      
4668. Unki gali ke chakkar kaat kaat kar,
4669. Kutte bhi hamare yaar ho gaye,
4670. Wo to hamare ho na sake,
4671. Hum kutton ke sardar ho gaye…
4672. Jab dekha unhone tirchhi nazar se,
4673. to hum madhosh ho gaye,
4674. Par jab pata chala ki nazare hi tirchhi hai,
4675. to hum behosh ho gaye…
4676. 
      
4677. Arz kiya hai, Door se dekha to santra tha, pass jake
4678. dekha to santra tha,
4679. cheel ke dekha to bhi santra tha, Khake dekha to bhi
4680. santra tha.
4681. Wah kya santra tha
4682. 
      
4683. Macchar ne jo kata… dil main mere junoon tha.
4684. Khujli hui itni… dil be sukoon tha.
4685. Pakada to chod diya yeh soch kar ki….
4686. sale ki ragon main apna hi khoon tha!
4687. 
      
4688. Khuda kare tera mobile kho jaye.
4689. Mile mujhe aur mera ho jaye.
4690. Karu SMS ladkion ko naam tera aae.
4691. Maar tujhe pade
4692. Aur kalejamera thanda ho jae.
4693. 
      
4694. Jab Jab tum angdai lete ho dam hamara nikal jata hai.
4695. Aye Jalim Deodrant lagane me tumhara kya jata hai ?
4696. 
      
4697. unki gali se guzar rahe the kya ittefaq tha,
4698. unkigali se guzar rahe the kya ittefaq tha,
4699. unhoon ne phool phainka par gamla bhi saath tha 
4700. 
      
4701. 
      
4702. Ek din, main Delhi pahuncha,
4703. Station pe ek coolie se bahar jane ka rasta pooncha.
4704. Coolie ne kaha: “Bahar jaake poocho.”
4705. 
      
4706. Maine khud hi rasta dhundh liya,
4707. Bahar jaake taxiwale se pooncha:
4708. “Bhai saab Lal Kile ka kitna loge?”
4709. Jawab mila: “Bechna nahi hai.”
4710. 
      
4711. Taxi chod, maine bus pakad li,
4712. Conductor se pooncha: “Ji, kya mein cigarette pi
4713. sakta hoon?”
4714. Wo gurrra kar bola: “Hargiz nahi, yaha cigarette
4715. pina mana hai.”
4716. Maine kaha: “Par wo janab to pi rahe hai!”
4717. Phir se gurrrraya: “Usne mujhse pooncha nahi hai.”
4718. 
      
4719. Lal Kile pahucha, hotel gaya.
4720. Manager se kaha: “Mujhe room chahiye, satvi manzil
4721. pe.”
4722. Manager ne kaha: “Rahane ke liye ya koodne ke liye?”
4723. Room pahucha, waiter se kaha: “Ek paani ka gilas
4724. milega?”
4725. Usne jawab diya: “Nahi sahab, yahan to saare kanch
4726. ke milte hain.”
4727. 
      
4728. Hotel se nikla, dost ke ghar jaane ke liye,
4729. Raste me ek sahab se pooncha:
4730. “Janab, ye sadak kaha ko jaati hai?”
4731. Janab hans kar bole: “Peechle bees saal se dekh
4732. rahan hoon,
4733. Yahi padi hai… kahin nahin jaati.”
4734. 
      
4735. Dost ke ghar pahucha, to mujhe dekhte hi chownk
4736. pada,
4737. Usne poocha: “Kaise aana hua?”
4738. Ab tak to mujhe bhi aadat pad gayi thi,
4739. Maine bhi jawab diya: “Train se.”
4740. 
      
4741. Meri aaobhagat karne ke liye dost ne apni biwi se
4742. kaha:
4743. “Areeee sunti ho… mera dost pehli baar ghar aaya
4744. hai,
4745. Uuse kuch taja taja khilao.”
4746. Sunte hi bhabhiji ne ghar ki sari
4747. khidkiya aur darwaje khol diye.
4748. Kaha: “Taji hawa kha lijiye.”
4749. 
      
4750. Dost ne phir se baday pyar se biwi se kaha:
4751. “Areeee sunti ho, inhe jara apna chalis saal purana
4752. aachar to dikhana.”
4753. Bhabiji ek baatli me rakha aachar le aayi.
4754. Maine bhi apnapan dikhate hue bhabiji se kaha:
4755. “Bhabhiji, aachar sirf dikhayengi, chakhayengi
4756. nahi?”
4757. Bhabiji ne taak jawab diya: “Yuhi agar sab ko
4758. chakhati
4759. To aachar chalis saal purana kaise hota?”
4760. 
      
4761. Thodi der baad dekha, bhabiji apne potey ko sula rah
4762. thi,
4763. Saath me lori bhi ga rahi thi:
4764. “Diploma so ja, diploma so ja.”
4765. Lori soon mein hairan hua aur dost se poocha:
4766. “Yaar, ye diploma kya hai?”
4767. Dost ne jawab diya: “Mere grandson ka naam,
4768. Beti bambai gayi thi, diploma lene ke liye
4769. Aur saath mein ise le aayi,
4770. Isiliye hamne iska naam Diploma rakh diya.”
4771. Phir maine pooncha: “Aajkal tumhari beti kya kar
4772. rahi hai?”
4773. Dost ne jawab diya: “Bambai gayi hai, degree lene ke
4774. liye.”
4775. 
      
4776.  
4777. ************************************
4778. Allama Iqbal Apni GirlFriend Ko Kis Trha Sms Kerte . . .
4779. Ae Jaan-e-Jaan Tere Intizaar Main Aankhain Nam Hyn
4780. Ye Last SMS Hy Kyun K Balance Kam Hy . . . ;->
4781. 
      
4782. Kiya ap close up kertay hain?
4783. Kiay ap confidence say chaltay hein?
4784. Kiya ap penality bharte hai? ”
4785. Mobile” k bill say bhartay hain?
4786. To SMs kiuon nahi kartay hein!
4787. 
      
4788. Pappu: Dad, mein biwi nu sms kita ki main Raat nu aunga,
4789. ghar aaya te kisi hor de nal suti si.
4790. Dad: Puttar galti mobile company di aa, jede time nal sms nahi bhejde
4791. 
      
4792. Premi : Bewafa tune mera dil jalakar rakh kar diya.
4793. Premika : Ae mere kurban ashiq teri kurbani bekar nahi jayegi,
4794. rakh ghar bhej de bartan majne ke kam aayegi.
4795. 
      
4796. Neend Aayi Toh Khwaab Aaye,
4797. Khwaab Aaye Toh Aap Aaye,
4798. Issi Kash-Ma-Kash Mein Raat Guzar Gayi,
4799. Na Neend Aayi, Na Aap Aaye…!
4800. 
      
4801.  
4802. ************************************
4803. Proposing Kutta mar gaya rajaai mein,
4804. Main paagal ho gaya teri judaai mein
4805. Haathi nadi mein beh nahin sakta,
4806. Apun tere bina reh nahin sakta…
4807. 
      
4808.  
4809. ************************************
4810. HUME APANI DOSTI KA HISAB NAHI AATA,
4811. AAPAKA PALAT KAR JAWAB NAHI AATA!
4812. HUM TO APKI YAAD MAIN SOTE TEK NAHIN,
4813. AUR APKO SOKAR BHI HUMARA KHWAB NAHIN AATA.
4814. 
      
4815.  
4816. ************************************
4817. Big B Says: Mere Pass Diwali ke liye Tikali hai, fulzadi hai, anar hai, Lawangia fataka hai, Roket hai, sutali bomb hai.
4818. 
      
4819. Tumhare pass kya hai? Aayyyyy
4820. 
      
4821. Shashi says:
4822. 
      
4823. Bhaaaaaiiiiiii…………………
4824. 
      
4825. Mere pass…………………
4826. 
      
4827. MaaaaaChis
4828. hai………
4829. 
      
4830. 
      
4831. 
      
4832. Similarity between Gandhiji & Mallika?
4833. Dono ne kapde tyag diye,
4834. ek ne desh ke liye,
4835. doosre ne Deshwasion ke liye!
4836. 
      
4837. Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,
4838. Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,
4839. Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,
4840. Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai
4841. 
      
4842. Judge: U r crossing the limits.
4843. Lawyer: Kaun Saala aisa kehta hai?
4844. Judge: How dare you call me saala?
4845. Lawyer: My Lod, I said kaun ‘Sa Law’ kehta hai? (my favorite)
4846. 
      
4847. Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do.
4848. Saheb: Kal aana.
4849. Bhikhari: Saala is kal-kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere laakhoon
4850. rupaye fase huye hain.
4851. 
      
4852. Generation Next Motto:
4853. Na hum shaadi karenge,
4854. na apne bachchon ko karne denge.
4855. 
      
4856. What do u call a woman in heaven?
4857. An Angel.
4858. A crowd of woman in heaven?
4859. A host of Angels.
4860. And all woman in heaven?
4861. PEACE ON EARTH!
4862. 
      
4863. What’s the diff between Dava & Daru?
4864. Dava is like girlfriend,
4865. that comes with expiry date and Daru is like wife,
4866. Jitni purani hogi utna sir chad ke bolegi.
4867. 
      
4868. A Chinese couple Mr & Miss Hua got twins without marriage.
4869. What did they named them?
4870. They named them as ‘Jo-Hua’, ‘So-Hua’
4871. 
      
4872. What did Tarzan think when he saw a dead Cheetah? Wow! New Underwear.
4873. 
      
4874. Paani mein Whiskey milao ta nasha chadta hai.
4875. Paani mein Rum milao to nasha chadta hai.
4876. Paani mein Brandy milao to nasha chadta hai.
4877. Saala paani mein hi kuch gadbad hai.
4878. 
      
4879.  
4880. ************************************
4881. FULL FORM OF GIRL:
4882. G: Gossip mein sabse aage,
4883. I: Innocent sirf shakal se,
4884. R: Rone ki automatic machine,
4885. L: Ladaayi mein sabki maa.
4886. 
      
4887.  
4888. ************************************
4889. Guru Dutt is reborn and sets up a Software firm.
4890. He makes a film, called ‘Software ke phool’.
4891. Sahir Sahab likewise revises his old song for the new venture.
4892. 
      
4893. It goes like:
4894. 
      
4895. yeh document, yeh meetings, yeh features ki duniya,
4896. yeh insaan ke dushman, cursors ki duniya
4897. yeh deadlines ke bhooke, management ki duniya;
4898. yeh Product agar ban bhi jaaye to kya hai?
4899. 
      
4900. yahaan ek khilona hai programmer ki hasti
4901. yeh basti hai murda bug-fixers ki basti
4902. yahaan par to raises hai, inflation se sasti
4903. yeh Review agar ho bhi jaaye to kya hai?
4904. 
      
4905. har ek keyboard ghayal, har ek login pyaasi
4906. excel mein uljhan, winword mein udaasi,
4907. yeh office hai ya aalame microsoft ki
4908. yeh Release agar ho bhi jaaye to kya hai?
4909. 
      
4910. jalaa do ise, phoonk daalo yeh monitor mere saamne se
4911. hataa daalo yeh modem tumhaara hai tumhi sambhaalo
4912. yeh computer yeh Product agar chal bhi jaaye to kya hai?
4913. 
      
4914.  
4915. ************************************
4916. Common lines after people get drunk…
4917. 
      
4918. 1. Tu to Mera bhai hai…bhai !!!
4919. 
      
4920. 2. You know i am not drunk…
4921. 
      
4922. 3. Gaadi mein Chalaunga…
4923. 
      
4924. 5. Tu bura mat maann bhai…
4925. 
      
4926. 6. Mai teri Dil Se Izzat Karta hu…
4927. 
      
4928. 7. Abe bol daal aaj usko, aar yaa paar….
4929. 
      
4930. 8. Aaj saali Chad nahi rahi hai kya baat hai??
4931. 
      
4932. 9. Tu Kya samajh raha hai mujhe chad gayi hai…
4933. 
      
4934. 10. Ye mat samajh ki peeke bol raha hu…
4935. 
      
4936. 11. Abe yaar kahin kam to nahi padegi itnee…
4937. 
      
4938. 12. Chhote, Ek Ek Chhota aur ho Jae…lovely waala !!!
4939. 
      
4940. 13. Baap ko mat Sikhao…
4941. 
      
4942. 14. Yaar magar tune mera dil tod diya…
4943. 
      
4944. 15. Kuchh bhi hai par saala Bhai hai Apna…
4945. 
      
4946. 16. Tu Bolna Bhai, kya chahiye…Jaan chahiye hazir hai ???
4947. 
      
4948. 17. Abe mere ko aaj tak nahi Chadee…shart laga saala aaj tu..
4949. 
      
4950. 18. Chal teri baat karata hoon usse, phone number de uska…
4951. 
      
4952. 19. Saale teri bhabhie hai wo…bhabie ki nazar se dekh usko…
4953. 
      
4954. 20. Yaar tu samjha kar.. wo tere layak nahi hai…
4955. 
      
4956. 21. chal bhai tu kah raha hai !to tere liye chodh diya usko.. aaj se wo teri…bana issi baat par ek – ek aur peg !!!
4957. 
      
4958. 22. Tujhe kya lagta hai ch!adh gayi hai… abhi ek full aur khatam kar sakta hun…
4959. 
      
4960. and the best one…
4961. 
      
4962. 23. Yaar aaj uski bahut yaad aa rahi hai
4963. 
      
4964. And Finally…
4965. 
      
4966. Salla… aajse daru band…….. …….!! !
4967. 
      
4968.  
4969. ************************************
4970. There’s no abiding success without commitment.
4971. 
      
4972. Anthony Robbins
4973. 
      
4974. If you deny yourself commitment, what can you do with your life?
4975. 
      
4976. Harvey Fierstein
4977. 
      
4978. Losers make promises they often break.
4979. 
      
4980. Winners make commitments they always keep.
4981. 
      
4982. Denis Waitley
4983. 
      
4984. Desire is the key to motivation, but its determination and commitment to an unrelenting pursuit of your goal
4985. 
      
4986. — A commitment !to excellence —
4987. 
      
4988. That will enable you t!o attain the success you seek.
4989. 
      
4990. Mario Andretti
4991. 
      
4992. Stay committed to your deci!sions and stay flexible in your approach.
4993. 
      
4994. Anthony Robbins
4995. 
      
4996. “There’s a difference betwe!en interest and commitment.
4997. 
      
4998. When you’re interested in doing something,
4999. 
      
5000. You do it only when circumstance permit.
5001. 
      
5002. When you’re committed to something,
5003. 
      
5004. You accept no excuses, only results.”
5005. 
      
5006. Art Turock
5007. 
      
5008. 
      
5009. Ladkiyan salwar ke! niche kya pahanti hai ????
5010. 
      
5011. ……
5012. ……
5013. 
      
5014. ……
5015. 
      
5016. ……
5017. 
      
5018. ……
5019. 
      
5020. ……
5021. 
      
5022. Socho.. socho……
5023. 
      
5024. ……
5025. 
      
5026. ……
5027. 
      
5028. ……
5029. 
      
5030. ……
5031. 
      
5032. ……
5033. 
      
5034. Itna bhi galat mat so!cho.. Salwar ke niche sandle pahanti hai..
5035. 
      
5036. Maine salwar ke niche ka puchha hai, salwar ke andar ka nahi… Dirty Mind…!
5037. 
      
5038.  
5039. ************************************
5040. Boy: I luv u
5041. 
      
5042. Girl:! na
5043. 
      
5044. Boy: think again
5045. 
      
5046. Girl: nahi
5047. 
      
5048. Boy: Waiter, bill alag-alag lana
5049. 
      
5050. Girl: haan!-haan bola na I luv u….
5051. 
      
5052.  
5053. ************************************
5054. College ki girls ne strike ki.BOys ne bhi unka sath diya.
5055. Girls ne zor se kaha “hamari mange”.Boys ne piche se kaha “SINDUR se bharo”.
5056. 
      
5057.  
5058. ************************************
5059. Before Marriage – Agar Tum Na Hote :(
5060. After Mar!riage – Agar Tum Na Hote :)
5061. 
      
5062. Before Marriage – Maine Pyar Kiya :)
5063. After Marriage – Ye Maine Kya Kiya? :(
5064. 
      
5065. Before Marriage – Kuch Kuch Hota Hai :)
5066. After Marriage – Kuch Nahi Hota Hai :(
5067. 
      
5068. Before Marriage – Dil To Pagal Hai :)
5069. After Marriage – Dil To Pagal Tha :(
5070. 
      
5071. Before Marriage – Ek Duje Ke Liye :)
5072. After Marriage – Sirf Bachcho Ke Liye :(
5073. 
      
5074. Before Marriage – Dilwale Dulhaniya Le Jayenge :)
5075. After Marriage – Baaki Log Sukhi Ho Jayenge :(
5076. 
      
5077. Before Marriage – Chandramukhi :)
5078. After Marriage – Jwaalamukhi :(
5079. 
      
5080. Before Marriage – Kuwara Baap :)
5081. After Marriage – Bechara Baap :(
5082. 
      
5083. Before Marriage – Titanic :)
5084. After Marriage – Mortgage :(
5085. 
      
5086. Before Marriage – Hum Aapke Hai Koun? :)
5087. After Marriage – Barbadi Ka Kaaran :(
5088. 
      
5089. Before Marriage – Yes Boss :)
5090. After Marriage – Yes Boss :(
5091. 
      
5092. Before Marriage – Mere Sapno Ki Rani :)
5093. After Marriage – Chutki Ki Amma :(
5094. 
      
5095. Before Marriage – Kabhi Kabhi :)
5096. After Marriage – If you are lucky :(
5097. 
      
5098. Before Marriage – Aao Pyar Karen :)
5099. After Marriage – Aur Bhi Kuch Kaam Karen? :(
5100. 
      
5101. Before Marriage – Hum Apke Hain :)
5102. Shaadi he baad – Hum Apke Hai Koun? :(
5103. 
      
5104. 
      
5105. 1) Your parents are ins!otos of girls of their
5106. choice…
5107. 
      
5108. DHIKHAVE PE NA JAAO APNI AKAL LAGAAO -Sprite
5109. 
      
5110. 2) You would like to search for a girl on your own…
5111. 
      
5112. GO FOR YAHOO SEARCH — Yahoo.com
5113. 3) You are invited to a party where you come across a
5114. lot of girls….
5115. 
      
5116. WHENEVER YOU SEE COLOUR THINK OF US — Jhenson &
5117. Nicholson
5118. 
      
5119. 4) You are altogether confused, as all the girls are
5120. pretty…
5121. DOONDTHERAHA JAAOGE — Surf Excel
5122. 5) At last you find a girl, whom you wish to propose,
5123. the chances are.
5124. 
      
5125. FIFTY FIFTY — Bri!tannia Biscuits
5126. 
      
5127. 6) At last you muster !up courage and tell her…
5128. I LOVE YOU RASNA —Rasna
5129. 
      
5130. 7) She stares at you for a while and says?
5131. LET’S TALK !— Escotel Prepaid Cellular
5132. 8) During the ensuing conversation she politely
5133. refuses your offer…
5134. ZOR KA JATKA ZARA DHEERE SE LAGE —– Mirinda
5135. 
      
5136. 9) And your heart breaks…
5137. IT JOINS EVERYTHING EXCEPT BROKEN HEARTS —QuickFix
5138. 
      
5139. 10) But you still can’t get her off your mind?
5140. GO GET IT — Visa Power
5141. 
      
5142. 11) At last she relents, when you give her…
5143. PYAR KA NAYA FUNDA —Corneetto
5144. 
      
5145. 12) Next day you take her for a ride on your bike…
5146. NEIGHBOURS ENVY OWNERS PRIDE — Onida TV
5147. 
      
5148. 13) While going on the bike her father sees both of
5149. you and now…
5150. TASTE THE!THUNDER — Thums Up
5151. 
      
5152. 14) But at last he also agrees as you are…
5153. 
      
5154. MADE FO!R EACH OTHER —Wills
5155. 15) Then comes your marriage and…
5156. EVERYONE’s INVITED — Samsung
5157. 
      
5158. 16) During the marriage the pundit recites the mantra?
5159. YEH FEVICOL! KA MAZBOOTH JODE HAI TOOTEGA NAHI —
5160. Fevicol
5161. 
      
5162. 17) You are anxiously waiting for the first night to
5163. come as…
5164. YEH DIL MANGE MORE — Pepsi
5165. 
      
5166. 18) During the first night both of you want to…
5167. PLAY SAFE — Bisleri
5168. 
      
5169. 19) So she says to you…
5170. TOUCH TOM!ORROW — Air Tel
5171. 
      
5172.  
5173. 
      
5174.