Sardar SMSText Messages2017

Sardar 2 friend: Guess how many
coins I have in my pocket?
Friend:If I guess right, u give me 1?
Sardar:Oji, I will give both of them
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Sardarji & his wife going to city in auto.
Driver adjusted miror.
Sardarji shouted you are seeing my wife.

Go & sit back. I will drive auto...:D

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Sardar: I havnt slept all nite in the train.
Friend: Y?
Sardar: Got upper berth.
Friend: Y didnt u exchanged?
Sardar: oye, there was nobody
2 exchange in the lower birth..
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A Sardar & his wife were waiting for train
itne main KHYBER MAIL aa gaye
Sardar bhag k train mein charha
or
apni wife se bola
jab khyber female aye to tum bhi ajana

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Sardar darvaze pe GUN liye khara tha
Wife: y r u standing here?
Sardar: Sher k shikar pe ja raha hon
Wife: To jao na..!
Sardar: Kase jaon baher KUTTA khara hai

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Q:- Why does Sardar always smile during lightning storms?

A:- They think their picture is being taken.

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Four guys
1 from Harward:
1 Oxford
1 Texas
&
a Sardar from Pujab university

1 common question:
What is the fastest thing in world?

Oxford:Light
Harvard:Thought
Texas:Blink of an eye
Sardar:Its loose motions,
because last night I was lying in my bed
& before I could blink,think or turn on the lights,
⬇⬆⬆it was over⬇⬇⬇⬇

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⭄⭄Sardar selected a short girl to marry🔂🔂🔂

Why?

Because guru ji told him

Musibat jitni choti ho utna acha hai ..
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Tring Tring Tring.

Sardar: Hello kon bol raha hai?
Other side: Ji, main bol raha hon.
Sardar: oye ye to kamal ho gia,
idhar se bhi main hi bol raha hon.

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NURSE kept SARDAR'S FINGER in HER MOUTH
after BLOOD TEST.
THEN SARDAR STARTED DANCING .
NURSE:y r u DANCING.
SARDAR:next is URINE TEST

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Sardar made a call to the airport.

Asked,"How long is the journey from Punjab to America?"

Receiptionist: "One second sir....".

Sardar: Ok, thank you..!!!

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Teacher to Sardar: What is Number Seven , Even or Odd
Sardar: Even
Teacher: How can you make seven even?
Sardar:Remove the S!!

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Sardar on phone:

Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now.

Doctor: Is this her first child?

Sardar: No this is her husband speaking



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Sardar proposed a girl......
Girl said am 1 yr elder to u.......
Sardar said Oye no problem
soniye I'll marry u next year.

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Interviewee;What is your date of birth?
Sardar;nov 28.
Interviewer;which year?
Sardar;abey ullu everyyear.

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Sardar said to doctor:Pore jism main
kahin bhi ungli lagao to bohat dard hota hai,
Doctor suggested full body Xray
when he checked, Xray found fracture in "Ungli"

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Newspaper Mein News Lugi K
"50% Of Sardars Are Donkeys"

The Sardars Protested.

Next Day News Lagi K
"50% Of Sardars R Not Donkeys"

The Sardars Celebrated.
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Sardars Friend: Yaar,
Last Year The Name Plate Outside Your House
Read Santa Singh, B.A.
This Year It Reads Santa Singh, M.A.
When Did You Finish Your Masters Degree?
Sardar: You Dont Understand.
Last Year My Wife Died,
I Put B.A. To Indicate Bachelor Again.
Then I Took A Second Wife, So M.A. Is Married Again.

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Q:Why is a Sardarji standing below
a tube light with a open mouth?

A:Because his doctor advised him
Todays dinner should be light


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Taxi driver to sardar:-

Sardar ji petrol khatam ho gaya ha gaddi agay nahi ja rahi

sardar: Koi gal nahi gaddi piche lelo

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In a practical Exam
Examiner showed legs of bird n said:Tell the bird's name
Sardar:I dont know
Exminer: U r failed.Wats ur name?
Sardar: You see my legs, and tell me.



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⬉⬉⬉Sardar sent SMS to his BOSS:
"Me sick, no work"
Boss SMS back:
"When I am sick I kiss my wife try it"
2 hours later sardar sms 2 boss:
"Me ok, ur wife very sweet⬉⬉⬉
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⧭⧭A sardar ji pulled out 6 people from a burning house...
still he was in jail.......why?
coz all the 6 were fire brigade staff !


A Sardar & his wife filed an application for divorce.

Judge asked :
How will you divide, you have 3 children?

Sardar replied :
Ok! We will apply next year🔝🔝🔝🔝🔝

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Sardar got into a bus on 1st April
when conductor asked for ticket.
He gave Rs.10/-
and took the ticket and said april fool.
I have pass.

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A sardar went to Pizza Hut.
There he ordered a Pizza.

The Waiter asked him:
Sir shell I cut it into 4 pieces or 8 pieces.

Sardar replied:
O 4 hi le aa yaar,
8 to nahin khaye jayein gay

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⧭⧭In a party a lady wanted
to go to toilet so
she inquired with a sardar
papaji susu karne ki jagah dikhao,

sardarji replied u naughty
pehle tum dikhao⬉⬉⬉
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Teacher: what is the scientific formula for water?
Sardar: h.i.j.k.l.m.n.o.

Teacher: nonsense! how did you derive that?
Sardar: auntie, it is H to O (h2o)!

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Question: Why did 18 Sardars
go to a movie?

Answer: Because below 18
was not allowed.



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🔀🔀Do U know why a sardar ji kept
the door open while taking a bath?

Because he was scared that someone
might see through the KEY HOLE⧬⧬⧬

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2 Sardars lookin at an Egyptian mummy.

Sardar1:Look so many bandages,
pakka truck accident case hai.

Sardar2: Aaho,
truck number bhi likha hay, BC-1760


Sardar's Leave application

Dear Sir,
My wife is ill.
As there is no other Husband
in the family to look after her,
Kindly grant me leave for one day.

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Interviewer asked sardarji:
Which are the 2 latest versions of java?

Sardarji: Marjava & Mitjava

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⧪⧪A sardarji went to a
STD/ISD/PCO SHOP and
slapped the operator twice.

:Guess why

bcoz there it was written
"Number dial karnay se pehley do lagain⧭⧭⧭

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Hitler says,
"There is no word like IMPOSSIBLE in my dictionary"
Sardar says:Ab bolne se kiya fayidah?
"Jub kharidi thi tab hi check karna tha na...
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2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Don't worry, I have a one more.

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Teacher : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing,
one is green and one is blue with red spots!

Sardar ji: Yes it's really strange.
I've got another pair of the same at home.

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Sardarji is not sleeping with his wife! these days
Guess why?
because somebody had told him that
it is wrong to sleep with married women.

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Sardar: Doctor help me, mein jab baat karta huun
to muje sirf awaaz sunaideti hai, aadmi nahi dikhta.

Dr: Aaisa kab hota hai?
Sardar: Phone karte waqt.


⧭⧭Doctor to sardar : You will die within 2 hours.
Do you want to see any one before you die?
Sardar : Yes. A good doctor.

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Sardarji to others:
Did anyone lose money wrapped in a rubber band?
One said, Yes I did
Sardar: Well, it's your lucky day,
I found the rubberband⬱⬱⬱⬱
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Sardarji opens his lunch box
in the middle of the road....why ?

Just to confirm whether he is going
to or coming back from the office

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A Teacher lecturing on population -
In India after Every 10 sec a
woman gives birth to a kid.

A Sardar stands up-
we must find & stop her!.
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Sardar : Sitting on The Top of the Mountain and Studying....
When a person asked what he was doing....
He replied... Oye!! Higher Studies Yaar...!!!

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Sardar-
why r all these people running?

Man- This is a race, the winner will get the cup.

Sardar-If only the winner will get the cup,
why r others running?
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How can a Sardar Kill a Lion ?
Sardarji thinks N thinks hard
&
comes to a conclusion:
I'll drink poison n let lion eat me.

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⬑⬑⬑Sardar at an Art Gallery:
I suppose this horrible looking thing is
what you call modern art ?

Art dealer: I beg your pardon sir, thats a mirror⬑⬑⬑

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Sardar's wish : when i die,
I wanna die like my grandpa
who died peacefully in his sleep
not screaming
like all the passengers in the
car he was driving..

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Sardar told his servant:
Go and water the plants. Servant
its already raining. Sardar: So what?
Take an umbrella and go.
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Sardar wins 20 cr from Rs. 20 lottery ticket.
Dealer gave 11cr after deducting tax.
Angry Sardar:
"Give me 20 cr or else return my 20 Rs back."

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⧭⧭Teacher: "I killed a person"
convert this sentence into future tense.
Sardar: The future tense is "u will go to jail⧭⧭⧭
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⧭⧭Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked "what you did till evening?"
Sardar ⧭⧭Keyboard alphabets were not in order🔁🔁🔁so I made it alright"



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⧭⧭Sardar sent a SMS to his pregnant wife.
Two seconds later a report came
to his phone and he started dancing.
The report said, "DELIVERED⧭⧭

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⧭⧭A Sardar saw a Beautiful Girl,he Went and Kissed her.
Girl: "STUPID what r u doing?"
Sardar: B.Com final year🔀🔀🔀

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Breaking News
ATM @ Gulshan-e-Iqbal Is Jammed &
Not In Working Condition
.
.
.
Because
.
.
.
Sardar's Wife Put Hair pin In Machine
When It Said", Enter Ur PIN" ;)

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⧭⧭Police:Instead of hospital why did u take ur wife to COMEDY MOVIE during pregnancy
Sardar: ALL the child were crying when they born
I want my child to laugh so i take my wife TO CINEMA
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⬲⬲How do you recognize a Sardar in School?
He is the one who erases the notes from
the book when the teacher erases the board.
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A sardarji photographer is focusing
a dead body's face in a funeral function,
suddenly all dead persons relatives beat him.
why? He said "SMILE PLEASE"

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Sardarji was asked,
what is a adult joke?

Reply came
any joke which is eighteen years old.
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⧭Sardar Bunks office n goes to home.
He saw his wife with his boss.
He comes back running office and says,
'baap re, boss ne dekh liya hota to maar daalta⬉⬉⬉

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⧬⧬In battle Sardar was wearing mosquito net
instead of bullet proof jacket
why?
?
?
?
Saradar replied
O jis wich machar nai war sakda
goli kithon lange gi⧭⧭

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⧭⧭Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai.
Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai🔀🔀🔀


Teacher: How Do You Differentiate
"WIFE" & "MOTHER"

SARDAR:
Before Marriage We Sleep With "MOTHER"
&
After Marriage
We Sleep With Our "WIFE"

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⬈⬈Professor:Chemical symbol of Barium?
Sardar: BA

Professor:For sodium?
Sardar: NA

Professor:What will we get if 1 atom of BA
& 2 atoms of NA combined?
Sardar: BANANA🔀🔀🔀🔀

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⬉⬉⬉Judge: why r u arrested?
Sardar: for shopping early?
Judge: well, that's not a crime,
anyway how early were u shopping?

Sardar: before opening the shop⬉⬉

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⬈⬈Sardar was busy removing
a wheel from his auto.
A man asks sardar why are
you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board.
Parking is only for 2 wheeler⬉⬉
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Teacher told all students
in a class to write an essay
on a cricket match.

All were busy writing except one Sardarji.
He wrote No match, due to rain!!!

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A sardar prays daily for 2 hours,
"Hey vaheguru meri lottery lagady."

After 11 years VaheGuru angrily appeared
& said,"Khoti de putar 1 vari ticket te le ley"

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⧭⧭Lawyer to sardar:geeta pe hath rakho
Sardar:Kamal hai, Seeta pe hath rakha
to baat court tak pohanch gaye,
ab bol raha he geeta pe hath rakho⧭⧭⧭
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⧭⧭On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him,
"Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring?"
Sardar : "Ya sure, from landline or mobile⬈⬈


Sardar got job in a telenor call centre.
Customer: telelenor sim blocked what to do?
Sardar: dont take tension remove telenor &
put warid sim.
Thank you for calling ufone.

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A Sardar looking at sky asks another Sardar :
Is that a sun or moon?

Other Sardar replies :
Oye ! No ideaIm new to this city..



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⧬⧬Sardar saw a very high Airtel Tower
& red light glowing on the top,
seeing this he said India is developing fast,
see there are traffic signals for Aeroplane in the air⬈⬈

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⧭Interviewer:what is skeleton?
Sardar:Sir, skeleton is a person
who started dieting but forgot to stop it..



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⧭⧭1st ever intelligent sardar.

Teacher: what do u call a person
who cannot hear anything?

sardar: u can call him anything,
because he cannot hear anything⧭⧭

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🔀🔀In bio practical:
Examiner:Tell me the name of
this bird by seeing it's legs only?
Sardar:I don't know.
Examiner:You failed, what's your name?
Sardar:See my legs & tell my name⧭⧭

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A sardarji goes to a chinese restaurant
and puts his finger
on the last of menu: Bring this.

Waiter: Oh! you can't get it
because he is the owner of restaurant.

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🔝🔝A sardar goes to a restaurant
and his cell phone rings.
Wife: How are you?

Surprised Sardarji:Oji I am fine but
how did you know where I was🔝🔝


Sardar to doctor:
When I sleep, monkeys
play football in my dreams.

Dr:No problem,
just take this medicine b4 sleep.

🔝🔝Sardar: Kal se khaonga aaj final hai🔝🔝

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🔝🔝A sardarji's boy asked his dad:
What is a grownup joke?
Sardar ji replied:
any joke which is eighteen years old🔝

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Sardar english k paper main fail ho gaya,
He did translation:

1.Main aam admi nahi hon
I'm not a mango man

2.Sarda or garma fruit hain.
Colda & hota r fruits

3.Mujhey bhi english ati hay
English comes 2 me also

4.do ro do chaar.
give and give four.

5.Mera taluk hari pur hazara se hay
I belong 2 green pur thousanda:)

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⧭⧭A sardar had a child after 3 month of marriage.
He asked his wife ye 3 month k bad bacha kaise howa⬌⬌

🔝🔝Wife replied:tumhari shadi ko kitna arsa hua?
sardar:3 months.

Wife: or meri shadi ko ?
Sardar: 3 months

Wife: or bacha kitne month k baad?
Sardar:3 month.

Wife: total kitne hue?
Sardar: oye 9 months & start dancing
🔝🔝Balle Balle🔝🔝