mujhe nhi pta kyo lgta nhi mn mera kisi kaam me….
duniya hume aawara na smjhe isliye rhta hun din bhar apne makan me…..
tbhi koi,humara humdard samil huwa humare dard me…….
khud ka to mn lgta nhi use lga diya safayi k kaam me………
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bura aashiqi kaa ho haal,
Bigaare hai isne saare kaam,
Hum to A.B. mei rahe,
Baaki B.A. pass ho gaye!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aapko kabhi humsey khone nahi dengey,
Aapko kabhi khud sey alag hone nahi dengey,
Kabhi hume sms b kar diya karo warna,
Aankh mei mirchi daal dengey aur dhone b nahi dengey!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aapke inte miss call kya baat hai,
Aapke sms b ab din raat hai,
Kabhi kabhi phone b kiyaa karo,
Suna hai aapke awaaz mein b khaas baat hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aankhon mei nami thee,
Aur vitamin C kee kami thee,
Wah wah!
Aankhon mei nami thee,
Aur vitamin C kee kami thee,
Jisse saari raat chatting kee,
Wo girlfriend kee mummy thee!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aakash key taaro mein khoya hain jaha saara,
Lagta hain pyaara ek-ek taara,
Un taaro mein sabsey pyaara hain ek sitaara,
Jo is waqt padh raha hain sms hamaara!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aaj tum par aansuo kee barsaat hogi,
Phir wohi andheri kaali raat hogi,
Yaad naa karke tumne dil dukhaaya hain mera,
Jaa tere badan me khujali saari raat hogi!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bekabu ye dil hai phir bhi jiye jaa rha hu,
Khaali ye botal hai phir bhi piye jaa rha hu,
Jara majboori toh dekhu is kambakht dil ki,
Reply mil nahi rha phir bhi msg kiye jaa rha hu…!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jab dhoka mila pyaar me,
Zindagi me udasi si chhaa gayi,
Socha chhod dete hai is raah ko,
Tabhi kambhakht mohalley me dusri aa gayi…!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ishq ki raah me wo kya kamaal karti hain,
wah… wah…..
Ishq ki raah me wo kya kamaal karti hain,
Likh ke “I Love You” send to all karti hain…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Main bahut pareshan hu
Neend nahi aati
Sukun nahi
Kisi kaam me dil bhi nahi lagta
Doctor ne mujhe kaha hai aap ki zindgai me,
Vitamin “SHE” ki kami hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Deadly sher on “SUPERMAN”
Arz Kiya He
Ye, Man Bahut Hi Super He
Wah Wah
Yeh Man Bahut Hi Super He
Isliye To Iski Chaddi Pant K Upar He
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chali jati hain wo beauty parlour mein yun,
Unka maksad hain misaal-e-hoor ho jana..
Ab kon samjhaye en ladkiyo ko
Mumkin nahi kishmish ka fir se angur ho jana
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
मांग भरने की सजा कुछ इस कदर पा रहा हूँ
की मांग पूरी करते-करते, अब मांग-मांग के
खा रहा हूँ…!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arz kiya h….
Wo zeher dekar maarte to..
duniya ki nazar m aa jate…
Wo zeher dekar maarte to..
duniya ki nazar m aa jate…
Andaaze katal to dekho..
humse shadi hi karli
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
हसरत ए दीदार के लिये उसकी गली में मोबाईल की दुकान खोली;
मत पूछो अब हालात ए बेबसी, ऐ गालिब;
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
रोज़ एक नया शख्स उनके नम्बर पे रीचार्ज़ करवानें आता है।
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arz hai..
एक और जिन्दगी मांग लो खुदा से,
ये वाली तो office में ही कट जानी है
ना ख़ुशी ख़रीद पाता हूँ ना ही ग़म बेच पाता हूँ,
फिर भी ना जाने क्यों मैं हर रोज़ कमाने जाता हूँ
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Umar ki rah mai jazbaat badal jaate hai…
Waqt ki aandhi mai halaat badal jaate hai…
Sochta hu kaam kar kar ke record tord du…
Kambhakhat salary dekh ke iraade badal jaate hai…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AAine le Sau Tukde kar ke
Humne dekhe hai..
.
.
.
.
Fir maa se maar khai hai..
Aur khud hi ikkathha karke feke hai.. funny comedy ever…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ushne kaha Mere ISHQ
Mein Fanaah Ho Jaa
Maine Kaha:
.
.
Mere Paas Time Nahi Chal
Dafa Ho Jaa…
Ishq me hum tumhe kya bataye:
Kis Kadar Chot Khaye huye hai…
.
.
.
.
Kal mara tha baap ne uske,
Aaj bhai bhi aaye huye hai..!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
kya re chikne sms hafta nahi bhej rela hai,
apun ko pta hai tere pas sms ka bahut sara mal pdela hai,
chal time khoti mat kar 5 khoke sms bhej jaldi
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Apun dono ka dosti 1dum jhakz hona mangta hai,
Jhakz bole to,apun hira 2 moti,
Apun sabji 2 roti,
apun pani 2 tanki,Apun tarzan 2 monkey.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boy: हेल्लो pammi Darling कैसी हो ..?
Girl: कौन
Boy: तेरा आशिक हूँ जान ..!!
Girl: तू बंटी है ना …?
Boy: हाँ पर तुम्हे कैसे पता .!!
Girl: तू बन्शीलाल का बेटा है ना ..?
Boy: हाँ पर तुम्हे ये कैसे पता .!!
Girl: तू राम लाल का पोता है ना ..?
Boy: हाँ पर Darling तुम्हे ये सब कैसे पता
Girl: हरामखोर मैं तेरी माँ हूँ ….
तुने pammi को नहीं mammi को फोन लगाया है …तू घर आ फिर बताती हूँ तुझे|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 ladki bus stand pe khadi thi .
.
.
.
1 ladka bike pe jatta hai .
.
.
.
Vapas ata hai or uss ladki se puchta
hai
.
.
.
.
Pehchana kya ???
.
.
.
.
Ladki :”Nahi toh
.
.
.
.
Ladka :”Kya yaar, abhi to samne se
gya tha
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Miss Call Ek Masti
HeYe SMS Se b Sasti
HeNeend Ko Bhagaati
HeKhoon Ko Jalati
HeDiMaaG Ko Pakaati
Heaur ApKo Hamari Yaad Dilati he……my love Afsana…. i love you Afsana
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ek baar meri GF ne mujhe apne ghar
bulaya,
Mai ghar pahucha aur bell bajai,
..
Uski choti sister ne darwaza khola,
Wo bahut sundar thi,
Muskura k boli aap bahut smart ho,
Abhi ghar par koi nahi hai.
Mai akeli hu,Mai muskraya aur,
Apni bike ki taraf wapas jane laga,
..
To uski puri family ghar se bahar aa
gayi aur,
Meri sharafat ki tareef karte huey,
Mujhe gale lagaya aur kaha,
Hum ko rishta manzur hai.
.
.
Ab mai kya batau Yaro…??
Ki Mai to bike ko lock karne gaya tha. tongue emoticon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ek admi apne dost k ghar gya,
bell bjane pe Pappu bahar aaya . . .
.
Admi: Beta apne papa
ko bulao…?? .
Pappu: Ji wo nhi h, wo
bazar gye h.
.
Admi: Acha to bade bhai
ko bulao….??
Pappu: Wo apne dosto k sath.cricket khelne gya hai.
.
Admi: Accha apki
mummy to ghar par hongi…??
Pappu:.Nahi wo apni saheliyo k sath picnic par gyi hai..
.
Admi chidd kar gusse
mein bola: Abe To tu
akela ghar pe kya kar raha hai,
tu b kahi chala jata
.
Pappu: Haa, tabhi to mai yaha apne dost k ghar aaya hu..!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To,
The janeman …
I love you jaan
.
Subject- Love is Life.
:
:
Dear Janu,
I beg to say that,
I am a student of
ur heart.
My Dil is very ill.
It is dhadking (Beating) many
time in a
minute.
:
So, Kindly give me a kiss.
Thanks,
YOUR’S LOVER ,
Name :: Pyar Ka Mara.
Class :: Dil Hai Tumhara
Roll no. 143 heart emoticon
…AB Like Bhi Kar Do Yaro
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kid:- Dad me aaj aapko ek baat batana chahta hun…..
.
Dad:- Bolo.
.
Kid:- Dad maine Facebook pe ladkiyon ke naam se 5 Fake ID banayi hain….
.
.
Dad:- Nalayak aur kuch kaam nahi hai tere pas… lekin tu ye mujhe kyu bata raha hai….?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Kid:- Dad aap jis Pinky Sharma ko ek mahine se patane ki try kar rahe ho wo meri hi fake id hai….
Na suhag hai
Na raat hai
Phir v suhag raat ka seen najar aata hai
beleve it or not
Har kutte ka din aata hai
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ब्रेकिंग न्यूज़ –
कृपया करके आपके जितने भी रिश्तेदार delhi में रहते हैं
उनको सूचित कर दें कि
CIA, RAW और दूसरे सूत्रों से पता चला है
कि तमाम बस स्टॉप,
रेलवे स्टेशन,
सब्ज़ी मंडी,uttam Nagar terminal ,Tilak nagar LIC office ke pass,
Subhash nagar mod ,
कमानिया गेट ,
Azadpur mandi,सदर और
छोटी लाईन फाटक के
करीब……………………….
तरबूज़ आ गए हैं, जा कर खरीद लो!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hum Indians Quarter Final toh kabhi haar hi nahi sakte…
Kuyki jaha bhi quarter mil jaye toh hum use Final karke hi uthte hain….!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Har kashti ka sahil nahi hota
kimti chiz ka har koi kabil nahi hota
ye to tumhare pitaji ki mehrbani hai
varna tum jaise popat k paas mobile nahi hota
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A TRAGIC Love STORY: A pig fell in Love with a Hen,
1 day they kissed each other,
Next day the Pig died of Bird Flu & Bird died of Swine Flu
“AJAB PREM KI GAJAB KAHANI..”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hamari Dosti tab khatam hogi
jab ek Goonga ek behre ko phone kar k
batayega ki ek andhe ne dekha ki ek langda bhag raha tha
Ganje k peeche uske baal katne k liye.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sindhi ka 1 Rs. ka Coin terrace se gir gaya,
Sindhi niche pahuncha to coin nahi mila !
kyu ?
kyu ki
Coin se pehle,
Sindhi niche pahunch gaya !!! Jai Jhulelal !!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Duniya Walo Se Chupa Kar Unki Tasveer Bathroom Mein Laga Rakhi Hai,
Wah Wah…
Duniya Walo Se Chupa Kar Unki Tasvir Bathroom Mein Laga Rakhi Hai,
Aur Har Ghadi Unka Didar Ho Isliye Julab Ki Goli Kha Rakhi Hai…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boss: Arz kiya hai………
Office main Kaam hote hain…
Galtiyon ka sama hota hai….
Aise mausam mein hi to PERFORMANCE jawan hote hai….
Dil ki khunnas BOSS Zabaan se nahi kehte…
Ye fasana to appraisal mein bayan hota hai….
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tumhare samne hain itney items Kabhi hame bhi pick karo…
Hamare pyar ke ICON pe Kabhi to tum DOUBLE-CLICK karo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Roz subha hum karte hai Itne pyar se unhe good morning…
Woh humhe ghoor kar dekhte hain Jaise 0 ERRORS but 5 WARNINGS…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ho gayi galti humse,
Click ho gaya mouse Duniya ki parwaah chhodo,
ban jaao meri spouse!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arz kiya hai- jis bus mein baithi ho haseenaaye,
Us bus ke shishe chatak jaate hai,
Driver chahe jitni tej chalaye,
Dewaane fir bhi latak jaate hain.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arz kiya hai..
ishq karne se pehle iska anjaam dekh lo,
Agar phir bhi samajh na aaye, to film tere naam dekh lo.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arz hai…
Aap hamare dil mein base ho. . . . . . . .
Aap hamare dil mein base ho… Wah wah
thoda side ho jaao saans lene waale pipe mein fase ho.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arj kiya hai.
Delhi ki garmi se hai skin meri jali, wah wah gaur kijiyega,
delhi ki garmi se hai skin meri jali, Chura ke dil mera goriya chali.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arj kiya hai,
yu na kisi ke dil se khelo, wah wah..
Yu na kisi ke dil se khelo,
jab sms hi nahi karna hai,
to phone bechkar radio hi le lo.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rin lagaaya aur daag gaya wah wah,
rin lagaaya aur daag gaya,
Abhijeet, Daya lagta hai,
khooni bhaag gaya.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ab hum aapke raste mein kabhi nahi ayenge.
Hume pata hai aap hume kaat khayenge,
hum to hai bahut hi gareeb aadmi, 14 injection kahan se lagwaenge.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Father –
Beta zara Apna Mobile To Dena
Son –
G Abu h 1 Min Abhi On kar ke Deta Hun
G.F Pic Delete
Girls List Delete
Phone Calls Recieved Delete
Delete
Delete
Delete
Memory Card Format
Son –
Ye Lein Abu
Father –
Bass Time Dekhna Tha tum khud He Bata Do
Son-
ap na acha ni kiya ABaaaa..
Pagal,
chinese se – kya tum American ho?
Chinese – nhi, main Chinese hun
Pagal – nhi tum American ho.
Chinese – nhi,
main chinese hun
Pagal – nhi tum american ho.
Chinese ghuse se – haan haan main American hun.
.
.
Pagal – Shakal se to Chinese lagte ho
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pappu ka beta –
Papa agar aapko 1000 aur 100 ka note rastey me para mily to aap konsa note uthao gy???
.
.
Pappu – 1000 ka..
.
Beta – Is liye aap pr joke bante hain..
Dono bhi to utha sakty ho..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Doctor – Tum Shadi Shuda Ho?
Patient : Han Hamara Shadi Aurat Se Hua Hai
Doctor : Bewaqoof Kya Mard Se Bhi Hota Hai
Patient : Han Hamara behen Ka Huwa Hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Teacher:
15 fruits k naam batao
.
Pathan: amrood
.
Teacher:
shabash
.
Pathan: mango
.
Teacher: gud
pathan: apple
.
Teacher
very gud 3 ho gay
Ab 12 reh gay
.
Pthan
ek darjan kelay..
Techer.
lakh di lanat e. Begherat.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pathan Cycle pe apni bhen ke sath ja raha tha,
.
Kisi ne aawaz lagai mehbOoba kO ghuma rahe hO?
.
Phr wOhi hua jis ka dar tha.
.
.
.
.
.
Pathan:-
“jOsh se bOla kameeny mehboOba hOgi teri
meri tO bahen hai…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 Pathan Ko 100
Rupee Miley.
‘5, Star Hotel
Mein Gaya Or
Order Diya.
1=Biryani,
1=Haleem,
1=Peace Broast,
1=Chicken Tikka
1=Malai Boti.
Or
1=Lab-E-Sheereen.
Pait Bhar K
Khana Khaya.tongue emoticon
Phr Rs.5000 Ka
Bill Aagaya.
Us Ny Manager
Sy Kaha Paisy
Nhi Hen.
Manager Ny
US KO Police Ky
Hawaly Kr Diya.
Pathan Ny
Police Waly KO
‘100, Rupy Diye
Or Choot Gya.
Ye Hy ‘2015’ Ka
Aqalmand Pathan.
IS KO Kehty Hen.
Financial
Manag
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ladki:- Agar main mar jau to tum
kya karoge..??
.
.
.
Ladka:- Main bhi mar jaunga..!!
.
.
.
Ladki (romanticaly) : Par kyu..??
.
.
.
.
Ladka:- tere chakkar me udhari
itni ho gayi hai ki jeena mushkil
hai..!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Man: Doctor sb koyi lambi umar ka tareeqa bato?
Dr: Shadi ker lo.
Man: Kia shadi sae umar lambi ho jaye gi?
Dr: Nahi ye shouq khatam ho jaye ga.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Police ne Ek sharabi ko pkra
Phir ek Gadhay ke agey Pani or sharab ki Baalti rakhi…….
Gadha Pani Pi gaya, Sharab na pi.
.
Polic Ne Sharabi se poocha:Tu ne is se kia seekha
.
.
.
.
Sharabi :…Jo sharab nahi pita … woh Gadha hota hai…!
Police: Pao ais kanjar nu LAMA ..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wada kiya tha deepika se.
Lekin todna pada supriya se.
Jab yeh pta chala neha ko.
Toh usne keh diya niharika se.
Par main baat karuga sirf ankita se.
Or,
Milunga
Jyoti se.
Plz koi mat kehna kajal se.
Ki main pyaar karta hu divya se.
Warna yeh khel khatam ho jayega or,
Milna padega shivangi se.
Lekin yeh baat tum bhi nahi jante ki main
milta hu monika se.
Or shadi karunga sirf
Mummy ki psand se….
Doctor:Tabiyat kaisi Hy?
Pathan: Pehle Se Ziada kharab Hy
Dr: Dawai khali Thi?
Pathan: Khali Nahi Thi Bhari Hui Thi
Dr:I Mean, Dawai Le Li Thi?
Pathan: G Ap Hi Se To Li Thi.
Dr:Bewaqoof Dawai Peeli Thi?
Pathan:Nain G Dawai Neeli Thi.
Dr:Aby Gadhey Dawai ko Pee Lia tha?
Pathan:Nain G Peliya to Mujhe Tha
Dr:Ullu k pathe
Dawai ko khol k Muon me Rkh Liya tha?
Pathan:Ni Ap Ne He to kha tha k Frij me Rkhna
Dr:Abey kia Maar khaye Ga?
Pathan:Nahi Dwai khaun Ga
Dr:Nikal Salay Tu pagal kar Dy Ga
Pathan:Ja Rha Hoon phir kab Aon?
Dr:Kyamat k Bad
Pathan:Kyamat k kitny Din Bad?
Dr:Behosh
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From:- Nitendra Nittu Wo jab chalti hai to raah me 100 ke note bicha deta hu,
Wo jab chalti hai to raah me 100 ke note bicha deta hu, Aur uske jaane ke baad
Sab utha leta hu
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wo Kehti Hai Phone Na Kiya Kro DEAR
Mama Hoti Hai NEAR
Papa Se Lgta Hai FEAR
Baat Nhi Hoti CLEAR
Dewaro Ke Bhi Hote Hy EAR
Is Liye FB use Karo DEAR..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Main Aur mere roommates
aksar Yeh Baatain Karte Hain
Ghar saaf hota to kaisa hota
Main kitchen saaf karta, tum bathrooom dhote
main hall saaf karta, tum balcony dekhte
Log is baat pe hairaan hote
aur us baat pe haste….
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Muje Peene Ka Shok Nahi,
Par Jab Bhi Peeta hu,
Na Jaane Sigrate Ke Dhuve me,
Uski Tasveer Kaise Ban Jati Hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Student to God
हज़ारो की किस्मत तेरे हाथ थी
अगर पास कर देता तो क्या बात थी?
God –
गर्लफ्रेंड थोड़ी कम बनता तो क्या बात थी?
किताबे तो सारी तेरे पास थी !!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ankhon se barsaat hoti hain
Jab apki yaad saath hoti hai,
Jab bhi busy rahe mera cell to
Samajh lena aapki hone wali Bhabhi se meri baat hoti hain
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kisi k pass
yo yo honey singh
ka number hai kya
Wo kehta rehta tha
pass kara du,
phone ghuma du
..
..
..
Exams sar pe hai
No. jaruri hain yaar
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Girl- पापा एक Important बात थी
Father-बोलो
Girl- मैं एक लड़के से प्यार करती हूँ
पर बो America मे रहता हैं
. website में हमारी जान पहचान हुई
. Facebook में दोस्ती हुई
.Skype में उसने मुझे propose किया
. Whatsapp में हम लोग दो महीने से प्यार कर रहें हैं
Father – really
तो अब
. Twitter में शादी करो
. Make my trip में हनीमून करो
. Flip kart से बच्चा मंगवालो
. Gmail में receive करलो
Last में
.अगर Husband अच्छा न लगे तो Olx में sell कर दो
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
कौन कमबख्त कहता है, लड़के सोचते कम हैं .
.
.
.
.
.
. लड़की एक बार मुस्करा कर तो देखे शेरवानी के रंग से लेकर बच्चों तक के नाम सोच लेते हैं।
Zindagi Ke Har Pal Khusi Se Bitao
Chahe Duniya Walo Tmhe Pagal Awara Kyo Na Bole
Bus Ek Bat Hmesa Yad Rakhna
Zindagi Na Milega Dobara
Hahahahahahaha
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Teacher- wo kaun sa jagah hai, jaha ladkiya kam ni kar skti hai.,
Student- FIRE BRIGADE..
Teachar- Why.
Student- inka kam aag lgana hai, bujhana ni……
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sir – Samajh tujhe 10 laddu diye..
.
Student – Mujhe.. ???
.
.
Sir – Samajh na tere baap ka kya jata hai… Usme se 5 laddu maine le liye to
tere pass kitne bache..??
Student – 20
Sir – Kaise.. ??
.
.
Student – Samajh na tere baap ka kya jaata hai…
Teacher shocked Student rocked!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boy – Hello , Pammi darling… kaisi
ho ?
Girl : Who’s
this ?
Boy : Tera
aashiq hun; jaaneman !!.
Girl – Tu Bunty hai
na…
Boy – Yes; but how do you
know ?
Girl – Tu Bansilal ka beta hai na……
Boy – Yes but how you know me ??
Girl : Tu Ramlal ka pota hai na…..
Boy – Yes !!
but
jaanu, tumhe ye sab kaise pata….? Girl – Bunty Haramkhor kutte, mai
teri
Maa hun !!..Tune ‘Pummi’ ko nahi,
Mummi ko phone lagaya hai!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Doctor – Aapka Aur Aapki Biwi Ka Blood Group Ek Hi Hai?
Rogy – Jarur Hoga 25 Saal Se Mera Khoon Jo Pee Rahi Hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 pagal – main is mental hospital me naya hu muje pagalo ke guru se milna hai
2nd pagal
ssshh ………chup……!
Aawaj mat karo guruji abhi message kar rahe hai….
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beta Ramprasad Tum Ye Pani Ki Balti Lekar Kaha Ja Rahe Ho,
Mein Pedo Ko Water Dene Ja Raha Hu,
Lakin Bahar To Baarish Hai Na Beta,
Isliye Hi To Me Chata Lekar Ja Raha Hu…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boy – Movie Chalo..
Girl – Nahi.. Wahan Tum Mujhe Touch Karoge…
Boy – Nahi Karunga…
Girl – Mera Haath Pakdoge…
Boy – Nahi Pakdunga..
Girl:” Mujhe Kiss Karoge..
Boy – Nahi Karunga..
Girl – Toh Fir Mujhe Kyu Le Ke Ja Raha Hai Dhakkan,
Apni Behen Ke Saath Hi Chale Ja..!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Girlfriend Romantic Mood Main- Aaj Mere Ghar Koi Nahi Hai Aa Jao?
Santa:- Tu Mere Ghar Aja Pgli, Mere Ghar Sb Log Hai Tera Man Laga Rahega.
A Man Asks Sardarji
Why Manmohan Is Singh Goes Walking At Evening & Not In The Morning?
Sardarji Replied; Arrey Bai Manmohan Is Pm Not Am
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jo Dete Hai Girl Ko Tohfe
Whi Lgate Hai Unki Shadi Me Sofe
Jo Jate Hai Un Ke Piche
Wo Ate Hai Caro Ke Niche
Jo Khte Hai Unko Janu
Whi Bante Hai Unke Bacho Ke Mamu. .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Teacher 2 Boy – Sabse Jyada Izzat Kiske Pass Hai?
Boy – sir Gulshan Glover,ranjeet,aur deny Ke Pass
Teacher – Kaise
Boy: Kyoki Filmo Me Sabse Jyada Izzat Inhone Hi Luti Hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2 Lovers Ke Beech Fight Ho Rahi Thi:
Gf: Kamine!main Tere Kapde Faad Dungi.
Bf: Dekh Ab Tu Serious Ladai Mein Romantic Baat Mat Kar.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Santa Ka Ek Buddha Padosi Accident Me Mar Gaya
Woh Uske Ghar Gaya Aur Poocha
Body Aagayi Kya?
Tabhi Body Lekar Ambulance Aa Gayi
Santa Bola
Ye Lo! Uncle Ki Badi Lambi Umar Hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yaaro Ki Mehfil Aise Jamai Jati Hai
Kholane Se Pehle Botal Hilaayi Jati Hai
Fir Awaz Lgayi Jati Hai
Aa Jao Tute Dil Walo
Yaha Dard-e-dil Ki Dawa Pilayi Jati Hai!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aati Thi Jaathi Thi,
Hansti Thi Hansati Thi.
Bhagati Thi Bhagaati Thi,
Bolti Thi Bulwati Thi Per Aaj Pata Chala Ki
Mujhe Rakhi Bandhana Chahati Thi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Golu To Rickshawala – Are O Bhai Khali Ho
Kya.
Rickshawala: Ha Bilkul Khali Hu.
Golu: Chalo Fir Tash Khelte Hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
एक खूबसूरत लडकी बस स्टैंड पर
खडी थी | एक नौजवान बोला- चांद
तो रात में निकलता हैं , आज दिन में कैसे
निकल आया ? लडकी बोली अरे उल्लू तो रात
को बोलता था , आज दिन में कैसे बोल
रहा हैं |
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Santa: Yaar! Main jo bhi kaam shuru krta hoon meri biwi beech mein aa jaati hai.
Banta :- Tu Truck chala kar dekh, shayad kismat sath de de.
Sardar: Beta do bistar kuun lagaaye hai?
Son: Ghar pe do guest aa rahe hain.
Sardar: Kaun?
Son: Mummy ka bhai aur mera Mama
Sardar: Phir ek aur bitar laga le, mera sala bhi aa raha hai..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kitne kamzor ho gaye hai hum aapki judaai se,
ki machchar uthaa le jate hai mujhe chaarpaai se.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sms na karne walo ke liye
Song….
Agar tum mil jao, to taange
Tod denge hum
Tumhe paa kar
Tumhare peeche
Kutte ch~or denge
Hum
Bas.! Tum mil to jaao…! Ha
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hum Aise Aashik Hain Jo Gulab Ko Kamal
Bana Denge,
Uski Har Adaa Pa~r Ghazal Bana Denge..
Agar Wo Aa Jayegi Mere Jindgi Me,
To Reliance Ki Kasam London Me Bhi
Tajmahal Bana Denge…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CID returns
CID ne Sony se naata jod liya…
CID ne Sony se naata jod liya…
jis room me mana raha tha abhijeet suhagraat, Daya ne uska darwaja bhi tod diya!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mali ne phulo ko khas bnaya
pholo ne khusbu ko khas bnaya
khusbu ne mohbt ko khas bnaya
mohbt ko ldkiki ~ne khas bnaya
or
ladki ne na jane kitno ko devdas banaya
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yeh exam ke rishte bhi ajeeb hote hai,
Sab apne apne naseeb hote hai,
Rahte hai jo nigaho se duur,
Saale wahi question compulsary hote hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Grl: Koun Ho Tum,
Boy: Hasrat Tumhari,
G: Chahte Kya Ho
B: Mohbat Tumhari
G: Pachtaoge Tum
B: Kismt Hmari
G: Maried Hu M
Boy: To Pahle Hi Bak Deti Manhus Nari..,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Khuda kare kisi ko mohabbat me judai na mile
Kabhi bhi kisi ko ishq mein bewafayi na mile
Aur jo meri iss post ko padh kar bi Like na kare
Usko thand mein kab~hi rajayi naa mile…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
एक लड़की स्वर्ग मे गयी और
यमराज से बोली :
मेरी शादी किसी US ke
लड़के से करवा दो..
यमराज : सब्र करले बेटी पहले USके
किसी लड़के को स्वर्ग मे तो आने दे.
आज तक तो कोई आया नहीं।
सुधर जाओ,
कमीनो बात उपर तक पहुच गयी
2 dost safar pe ja rahe the
raat hogyi 2ono tent lga kar so gye
1 dost ki adhi raat ko nind khuli usne dusare ko jaga ke bola- Tujhe Asman ki taraf kya dikhta hai?
.
Dusra-Bahut sare Tare!
.
Pahla-Isse kya pta chalta hai?
.
Dusra-yahi ki Asman kitna khubsurat hai!
.
Pahla-Abe Newton ~ki aulad Tent chori hogya!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aaj ki Ladki
.
.
.
Girl – mera mobile zada time meri
mom k paas hota hai ..
.
.
.
Boy-agr hum pakde gaye to ,.?
.
.
.
Girl -nahi pakde ja sakte
Boy-kyun??
.
.
.
Girl– kyunki maine tumhara
number battery low ke naam se
save kiya hua hai
.
.
.
jab tumhari call ati hai mumy
mobile charging par lga kar chali jati hai.. !!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Har taraf padhai ka~ saya hai,
kitabo me sukh kaun paya,
ladke to jate hain tution ladkiyan dekhne,
aur sir kehte hain dekho itna Barsatme ladka Padhne aya hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kon kehta hai HAWA Free ki hoti hai ?
Kabi LAYS ka 10 rupay wala
chips khareed k dekho,
usmey 7rupay ki HAWA aur
3rupay K chips hote hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ek admi Nadi main dub raha tha,
Bola:GANESHJI bachao!
GANSHJI sune or nachne lage!
Admi:Aap nach kyu rahe hai?
GANSHJI:Mere Visarjan me tu bhi bahut nach raha tha!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
jindagi ka naam hai dosti yaaro,
jindagi ki shaam hai dosti yaaro.
chhupa lo yadi tum isse apne palko pe to,
to hai sabse hasi ~khwaab dosti yaro
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lo ji
Arj kiya h………
.
.
.
. .
.
.
.
Duniya me bhut dard-e-tanhai hai………:
. .
.
.
.
.
. Yr frnds like to karo itni mehnat se post
churai h…………
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BOY to GIRL : “Look Into my eyes, What do
u
see…?
.
.
GIRL: True Love !!…
.
.
.
.
BOY : O Juliet Ki MAAA.. Kuch Aankh
Mein Chala
Gaya Hai Jaldi Nikaal.~.Mar Jaunga!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Teacher : Tumhare Abbu kya kaam karte hai?
Student : UPS Company k maalik hai.
Teacher : Nice,
Acha ye UPS ka kya matlab hai?
Student ; Usman Pakora Shop…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dad to Son – Son Why do
you look so upset ?
.
.
Son – I Can not tell you Dad.
.
Dad – Treat me as ~your
friend.
.
.
.
.
.
Son – Yaar kal date par kiss kya kar li,
teri bhabhi naraaz ho gayi
hai..!!
इंसान:- भगवान लड़कियां हमेशा प्यारी होती हैं, पर बीवी क्यों इतनी खतरनाक होती है
भगवान:- क्योंकि लड़कियां मै बनाता हूँ
और
उन्हें बीवी तुम बनाते हो,
तुम्हारी समस्या।
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BOYS POEM Mohabbat to kisi ek se karunga..
Ho saka, to kisi nek se karunga..
Lekin jab tak na milegi,wo nek ladki ..
TRY to har ek ko~ karunga.
har ek boy kamina hota h.par bahut acha hota h
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
गब्बर: कितने आदमी थे?
सांभा: सरदार दो।
गब्बर: मुझे गिनती नहीं आती, दो कितने होते हैं?
सांभा: सरदार दो, एक के बाद आता है।
गब्बर: और दो के पहले?
सांभा: दो के पहले एक आता है सरदार।
गब्बर:तो बीच में कौन आता है?
सांभा: बीच में कोई नहीं आता सरदार।
गब्बर: तो फिर दोनों एक साथ क्यों नहीं आते?
सांभा: एक के बाद ही दो आ सकता है क्योंकि दो, एक से बड़ा है सरदार।
गब्बर: दो, एक से कितना बड़ा है।
सांभा: दो, एक से एक बड़ा है सरदार।
गब्बर:अगर दो, एक से एक बड़ा है तो एक, एक से कितना बड़ा है?
सांभा: सरदार अब~ आप मुझे गोली ही मार दो मैंने आप नमक ही खाया है च्यवनप्राश नही।
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beta: Papa apki shaadi ho gayi?
Papa: Haan.
Beta: Kis se hui?
Papa: Bewkuf teri mummy se..
Beta: Wah papa ghar main hi setting kar li.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MAA-Beta Apple Khaoge,
BETA-Nahi
MAA-Beta Mengo Khaoge,
BETA-Nahi
MAA-Beta Orange Khaoge,
BETA-Nahi
MAA-Bilkul Baap Par Gaya Hai,
Chappal Hi Khayega.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Husband : mujhe
neend nahi aa rahi hai
Wife : jao jaakar
bartan saaf kar do
Husband : neend me
bol raha hun pagli
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ladki:- Agar main mar jau to tum
kya karoge..??
..
Ladka:- Main bhi mar jaunga..!!
.
.Ladki (romanticaly) : Par kyu..??
.
..Ladka:- tere chakkar main udhari
itni ho gayi hai ki j~eena mushkil
hai..!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ek Girl ne 1 chote se bacche k gaal pe kiss kiya…
.
.
.
GIRL-Oh sorry,
tumhare gaal me lipstick lag gai..
.
.
.
.
.
Baccha- Kuch accha karne se,
agar daag lagte h to daag achE hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Girl: Kyu Ro Rahe Ho
.
.
Me: Mene AaJ Tak Kisi Ladki Ko Kiss Nahi Kiya
.
.
Girl: Ro Mat Mujhe Kiss Karle
.
After Kiss
.
.
Girl: Ab Itna Hass Kyu Rahe Ho
.
.
Me: Mene ese hi Ro-Ro Ke Sare
Mohalle Ki Ladkiyo Ko Kiss Kiya
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ट्विंकल ट्विंकल ~लिटल स्टार.
तेरी गर्लफ्रेंड गयी बाज़ार ..
उसको मिल गया दूसरा यार
उसके साथ वो हो गयी फरार
अब तू बैठ के मक्खियां मार
मैं ही हूँ वो कमीना यार
Jailer- Suna hai tum Shayar ho..Kuch sunaao yaar
.
.
.
… .
.
.
..
.
Qaidi- “Gum-e-Ulfat me
jo zindgi kati Hamari.
Jis Din zamaanat hui
zindgi khatam Tumhari.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dedicated to All Students …….. :
Dil tod shayari:
Koyle k khan se ~Hira kaise nikalu
wah wah…
Koyle k khan se Hira kaise nikalu
Gaur farmaiyega ki koyle k khan se hira kaise nikalu
.
..
.
INTERNAL me hi fail hu,
To SALA semester kaise sambhalu…??:p
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Child : Mom isbar hum sare patake is shop se lenge.
Mom : lekin beta ye toh girls hostel hai.
Child : Papa to kehte hai ki sari phuljadiya yahi raheti hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
लोग कहते है सहेली और हवेली
आसानी से नही बनती………!
हम कहते है बँदे मे दम होना चाहिए!
सहेली फोन पे और हवेली लोन पे
बन ही जाती है……..! tongue.png grin.png
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Patient Doctor ko bola –> Doctor Sahab Mujhe Dur Ka Nazar Nahi ata hai..
Doctor na kaha– > Wo Asmaan Par Kia Hai?
Mareez –> wo Suraj hai
Doctor > Aabay andhay is s e duur kia khudha ko dekhaga keya..!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Achii aur buri biwi mein kya farq hai?
Answer: Kya matlab?
Biwiyaan achii bhi hoti hai kya?!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aapko humse ~kabhi khone nahi denge,
aapko mujh se alag hone nahi denge,
kabhi sms bhi kar dia kro warna,
aankh mein mirchi dal denge aur dhone bhi nahi denge
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arj kiya hai, yu na kisi k dil se khelo,
yu na kisi ke dil se khelo,
jab sms hi nahi karna hai to,
phone bechkar Radio hi lelo…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arz kia hai,
Gaur farmaiye~ :p
Hasino ko apna dil na dena,
Dil ke jazbat ye kya janegi
Kandhe ka Dupatta to sambhalta nahi,
Hamara DIL kya GHANTA Sambhalegi!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Baadal Garza Shor K Sath
Barish Hui Zor K Sath
Zara Dhayan Rakhna Apni GirlFrnd Ka
Kahin Bhag Na Jaye Kisi Or K Sath.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Phoolo Ke Phool He Hum,
Mehfil Ki Ronak He Hum,
Khubsurto Me Khubsurt He Hum,
Panga To Leke Dikhao
Is duniya ke
Rawdy Rathod ~He Hum,,”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zindgi apni masti mai jiya kro,
Ishq bahut bura hai na kiya karo,
Tum apna pura dhyan carrier par mod do,
Ishq aur apne girlfriend ko
Mujh par chor do :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pyar karne ki apni 1 reet
hai…
Pyaar ka dusra naam hi to
Preet hai.
Isliye Try maro har Ladki
par…
Kyunki
.
Darr ke aage Jeet hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Baith-kar mehboo~ba ki baaho me aisa josh
aaya.. .
.
.
Wah!
Wah!
Wah!!
Wah!!
.
.
Baith-kar mehbooba ki baaho me aisa josh
aaya…
Phirrrrr…?
Phir kya.!
?
?
Biwi ne dekh liya aur ICU me hosh aaya…
hehehhehehe ab karo wah wah
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jailer: Suna Hain Tum Shayar Ho, Kuch
Sunaao Yaar..!
.
.
Qaidi: “Gum-E-~Ulfat Mein Jo Zindgi Kati
Hamari.
Jis Din Zamaanat Hui, Zindgi Khatam
Tumhari….. :P :D
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pappu Ne Ladki Dekh Ke Arz Kiya
.
Tere Smile Mein Kya Chamak
Hai..
.
Wah Wah
.
Tere Smile Mein Kya Chamak
Hai ????
.
Ladki Boli
.
Bhaiya Yahi T~ou Baat Hai
Mere Toothpste Mein NAMAK
Hai…. 😀
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Likhy Jo~ Khat Tujhy
Wo Teri Yaad Me
Wo Sare Padh Liye
Papa Ne Raat Main
Sawera Jab Hua Tou
Jootey Parr Gaye
Wo Raadhe Wale Baal
Ghajni Me Badla Gaye :P
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Teri adao pe mein vari vari,
Dial 139 for Railway inquiry…।
2. Naa jeene ki aarzoo, naa marne ka khuaaff
The number you are trying is currently switch off..।
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aapki baatoon pe dil haaru
WAH! WAH!
Aapki surat pe jaan waaru
WAH! WAH!
Jis din nahi~ aati aapkao humari yaad
dil karta hai aapko
patak-patak ke maru!
waahh waaahhh!! kya baat kya baat!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lamha –lamha ~waqt gujar jayega,
Chand lamho me exam aa jayega,
Abhi bhi waqt hai do line pad lo,
Warna pass kya tumhara sasur karvayega
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mujhe dekh mushkurathi thi
kabhi khidki to kabhi chhat par nazar aati thi
kuchh kahna tha shayad usko
aaj pata chala sali pagal thi aur mujhe bhi pagal samajhti thi
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
दोस्ती करो BSNL वाली से
प्यार करो IDEA वाली से.
बात करो airtel वाली से.
आँख लड़ाओ vodafone वाली से.
पर दोस्तो
शादी करना बिना मोबाइल वाली से.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Girls Should Agree With this..
.
.
Boy Friend Jaisa Bhi Ho,,
Awara, ~Pagal,
Deewana, Luchha,
Lafanga, Kamina,
.
.
.
.
.
Lekin, Jab ~Uska Message Aata Hai To…
.
.
.
Chehre Pe Ajeeb Si Smile Aati Hai..
.
.
Aur Ladki Ko Ehsaas Hota Hai
Ke “Tedha Hai Par Mera Hai”..
..
Hahaha Agree ??
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ek Bachcha Park mein Bench pe betha tha
aur 1 k bad 1 Toffee kha raha tha.
.
Pas bethi 1 Aunty boli : Jyada
meetha khane wale jaldi mar jate hai.
.
Boy : Aap ko malum hai meri Dadi
ki age 106 Saal thi.
.
Aunty : Wo meetha~ kam khati hongi.
.
.
Boy : Nahi…!!! Wo apne Kaam se
Kaam rakhti thi
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
दोस्त कम रखता हू । सीने मे अपने दम रखता हू
माना कि औकात अपनी सीफॅ आम
आदमी कि हे
पर सलाम तो कमिशनर ~के बाप से भी करवा ने कि हींमत रखता हू ।
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Funny-Sms-On-Roz-Ki-Baat
Aap ko Miss ~karna roz ki baat hai,
Aap ko yaad karna aadat ki baat hai.
Aap se door rehna kismat ki baat hai,
Magar aap ko jhelna himmat ki baat hai…
duniya hume aawara na smjhe isliye rhta hun din bhar apne makan me…..
tbhi koi,humara humdard samil huwa humare dard me…….
khud ka to mn lgta nhi use lga diya safayi k kaam me………
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bura aashiqi kaa ho haal,
Bigaare hai isne saare kaam,
Hum to A.B. mei rahe,
Baaki B.A. pass ho gaye!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aapko kabhi humsey khone nahi dengey,
Aapko kabhi khud sey alag hone nahi dengey,
Kabhi hume sms b kar diya karo warna,
Aankh mei mirchi daal dengey aur dhone b nahi dengey!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aapke inte miss call kya baat hai,
Aapke sms b ab din raat hai,
Kabhi kabhi phone b kiyaa karo,
Suna hai aapke awaaz mein b khaas baat hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aankhon mei nami thee,
Aur vitamin C kee kami thee,
Wah wah!
Aankhon mei nami thee,
Aur vitamin C kee kami thee,
Jisse saari raat chatting kee,
Wo girlfriend kee mummy thee!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aakash key taaro mein khoya hain jaha saara,
Lagta hain pyaara ek-ek taara,
Un taaro mein sabsey pyaara hain ek sitaara,
Jo is waqt padh raha hain sms hamaara!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aaj tum par aansuo kee barsaat hogi,
Phir wohi andheri kaali raat hogi,
Yaad naa karke tumne dil dukhaaya hain mera,
Jaa tere badan me khujali saari raat hogi!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bekabu ye dil hai phir bhi jiye jaa rha hu,
Khaali ye botal hai phir bhi piye jaa rha hu,
Jara majboori toh dekhu is kambakht dil ki,
Reply mil nahi rha phir bhi msg kiye jaa rha hu…!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jab dhoka mila pyaar me,
Zindagi me udasi si chhaa gayi,
Socha chhod dete hai is raah ko,
Tabhi kambhakht mohalley me dusri aa gayi…!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ishq ki raah me wo kya kamaal karti hain,
wah… wah…..
Ishq ki raah me wo kya kamaal karti hain,
Likh ke “I Love You” send to all karti hain…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Main bahut pareshan hu
Neend nahi aati
Sukun nahi
Kisi kaam me dil bhi nahi lagta
Doctor ne mujhe kaha hai aap ki zindgai me,
Vitamin “SHE” ki kami hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Deadly sher on “SUPERMAN”
Arz Kiya He
Ye, Man Bahut Hi Super He
Wah Wah
Yeh Man Bahut Hi Super He
Isliye To Iski Chaddi Pant K Upar He
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Chali jati hain wo beauty parlour mein yun,
Unka maksad hain misaal-e-hoor ho jana..
Ab kon samjhaye en ladkiyo ko
Mumkin nahi kishmish ka fir se angur ho jana
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
मांग भरने की सजा कुछ इस कदर पा रहा हूँ
की मांग पूरी करते-करते, अब मांग-मांग के
खा रहा हूँ…!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arz kiya h….
Wo zeher dekar maarte to..
duniya ki nazar m aa jate…
Wo zeher dekar maarte to..
duniya ki nazar m aa jate…
Andaaze katal to dekho..
humse shadi hi karli
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
हसरत ए दीदार के लिये उसकी गली में मोबाईल की दुकान खोली;
मत पूछो अब हालात ए बेबसी, ऐ गालिब;
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
रोज़ एक नया शख्स उनके नम्बर पे रीचार्ज़ करवानें आता है।
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arz hai..
एक और जिन्दगी मांग लो खुदा से,
ये वाली तो office में ही कट जानी है
ना ख़ुशी ख़रीद पाता हूँ ना ही ग़म बेच पाता हूँ,
फिर भी ना जाने क्यों मैं हर रोज़ कमाने जाता हूँ
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Umar ki rah mai jazbaat badal jaate hai…
Waqt ki aandhi mai halaat badal jaate hai…
Sochta hu kaam kar kar ke record tord du…
Kambhakhat salary dekh ke iraade badal jaate hai…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
AAine le Sau Tukde kar ke
Humne dekhe hai..
.
.
.
.
Fir maa se maar khai hai..
Aur khud hi ikkathha karke feke hai.. funny comedy ever…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ushne kaha Mere ISHQ
Mein Fanaah Ho Jaa
Maine Kaha:
.
.
Mere Paas Time Nahi Chal
Dafa Ho Jaa…
Ishq me hum tumhe kya bataye:
Kis Kadar Chot Khaye huye hai…
.
.
.
.
Kal mara tha baap ne uske,
Aaj bhai bhi aaye huye hai..!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
kya re chikne sms hafta nahi bhej rela hai,
apun ko pta hai tere pas sms ka bahut sara mal pdela hai,
chal time khoti mat kar 5 khoke sms bhej jaldi
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Apun dono ka dosti 1dum jhakz hona mangta hai,
Jhakz bole to,apun hira 2 moti,
Apun sabji 2 roti,
apun pani 2 tanki,Apun tarzan 2 monkey.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boy: हेल्लो pammi Darling कैसी हो ..?
Girl: कौन
Boy: तेरा आशिक हूँ जान ..!!
Girl: तू बंटी है ना …?
Boy: हाँ पर तुम्हे कैसे पता .!!
Girl: तू बन्शीलाल का बेटा है ना ..?
Boy: हाँ पर तुम्हे ये कैसे पता .!!
Girl: तू राम लाल का पोता है ना ..?
Boy: हाँ पर Darling तुम्हे ये सब कैसे पता
Girl: हरामखोर मैं तेरी माँ हूँ ….
तुने pammi को नहीं mammi को फोन लगाया है …तू घर आ फिर बताती हूँ तुझे|
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 ladki bus stand pe khadi thi .
.
.
.
1 ladka bike pe jatta hai .
.
.
.
Vapas ata hai or uss ladki se puchta
hai
.
.
.
.
Pehchana kya ???
.
.
.
.
Ladki :”Nahi toh
.
.
.
.
Ladka :”Kya yaar, abhi to samne se
gya tha
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Miss Call Ek Masti
HeYe SMS Se b Sasti
HeNeend Ko Bhagaati
HeKhoon Ko Jalati
HeDiMaaG Ko Pakaati
Heaur ApKo Hamari Yaad Dilati he……my love Afsana…. i love you Afsana
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ek baar meri GF ne mujhe apne ghar
bulaya,
Mai ghar pahucha aur bell bajai,
..
Uski choti sister ne darwaza khola,
Wo bahut sundar thi,
Muskura k boli aap bahut smart ho,
Abhi ghar par koi nahi hai.
Mai akeli hu,Mai muskraya aur,
Apni bike ki taraf wapas jane laga,
..
To uski puri family ghar se bahar aa
gayi aur,
Meri sharafat ki tareef karte huey,
Mujhe gale lagaya aur kaha,
Hum ko rishta manzur hai.
.
.
Ab mai kya batau Yaro…??
Ki Mai to bike ko lock karne gaya tha. tongue emoticon
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ek admi apne dost k ghar gya,
bell bjane pe Pappu bahar aaya . . .
.
Admi: Beta apne papa
ko bulao…?? .
Pappu: Ji wo nhi h, wo
bazar gye h.
.
Admi: Acha to bade bhai
ko bulao….??
Pappu: Wo apne dosto k sath.cricket khelne gya hai.
.
Admi: Accha apki
mummy to ghar par hongi…??
Pappu:.Nahi wo apni saheliyo k sath picnic par gyi hai..
.
Admi chidd kar gusse
mein bola: Abe To tu
akela ghar pe kya kar raha hai,
tu b kahi chala jata
.
Pappu: Haa, tabhi to mai yaha apne dost k ghar aaya hu..!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
To,
The janeman …
I love you jaan
.
Subject- Love is Life.
:
:
Dear Janu,
I beg to say that,
I am a student of
ur heart.
My Dil is very ill.
It is dhadking (Beating) many
time in a
minute.
:
So, Kindly give me a kiss.
Thanks,
YOUR’S LOVER ,
Name :: Pyar Ka Mara.
Class :: Dil Hai Tumhara
Roll no. 143 heart emoticon
…AB Like Bhi Kar Do Yaro
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kid:- Dad me aaj aapko ek baat batana chahta hun…..
.
Dad:- Bolo.
.
Kid:- Dad maine Facebook pe ladkiyon ke naam se 5 Fake ID banayi hain….
.
.
Dad:- Nalayak aur kuch kaam nahi hai tere pas… lekin tu ye mujhe kyu bata raha hai….?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Kid:- Dad aap jis Pinky Sharma ko ek mahine se patane ki try kar rahe ho wo meri hi fake id hai….
Na suhag hai
Na raat hai
Phir v suhag raat ka seen najar aata hai
beleve it or not
Har kutte ka din aata hai
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ब्रेकिंग न्यूज़ –
कृपया करके आपके जितने भी रिश्तेदार delhi में रहते हैं
उनको सूचित कर दें कि
CIA, RAW और दूसरे सूत्रों से पता चला है
कि तमाम बस स्टॉप,
रेलवे स्टेशन,
सब्ज़ी मंडी,uttam Nagar terminal ,Tilak nagar LIC office ke pass,
Subhash nagar mod ,
कमानिया गेट ,
Azadpur mandi,सदर और
छोटी लाईन फाटक के
करीब……………………….
तरबूज़ आ गए हैं, जा कर खरीद लो!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hum Indians Quarter Final toh kabhi haar hi nahi sakte…
Kuyki jaha bhi quarter mil jaye toh hum use Final karke hi uthte hain….!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Har kashti ka sahil nahi hota
kimti chiz ka har koi kabil nahi hota
ye to tumhare pitaji ki mehrbani hai
varna tum jaise popat k paas mobile nahi hota
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A TRAGIC Love STORY: A pig fell in Love with a Hen,
1 day they kissed each other,
Next day the Pig died of Bird Flu & Bird died of Swine Flu
“AJAB PREM KI GAJAB KAHANI..”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hamari Dosti tab khatam hogi
jab ek Goonga ek behre ko phone kar k
batayega ki ek andhe ne dekha ki ek langda bhag raha tha
Ganje k peeche uske baal katne k liye.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sindhi ka 1 Rs. ka Coin terrace se gir gaya,
Sindhi niche pahuncha to coin nahi mila !
kyu ?
kyu ki
Coin se pehle,
Sindhi niche pahunch gaya !!! Jai Jhulelal !!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Duniya Walo Se Chupa Kar Unki Tasveer Bathroom Mein Laga Rakhi Hai,
Wah Wah…
Duniya Walo Se Chupa Kar Unki Tasvir Bathroom Mein Laga Rakhi Hai,
Aur Har Ghadi Unka Didar Ho Isliye Julab Ki Goli Kha Rakhi Hai…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boss: Arz kiya hai………
Office main Kaam hote hain…
Galtiyon ka sama hota hai….
Aise mausam mein hi to PERFORMANCE jawan hote hai….
Dil ki khunnas BOSS Zabaan se nahi kehte…
Ye fasana to appraisal mein bayan hota hai….
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Tumhare samne hain itney items Kabhi hame bhi pick karo…
Hamare pyar ke ICON pe Kabhi to tum DOUBLE-CLICK karo
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Roz subha hum karte hai Itne pyar se unhe good morning…
Woh humhe ghoor kar dekhte hain Jaise 0 ERRORS but 5 WARNINGS…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ho gayi galti humse,
Click ho gaya mouse Duniya ki parwaah chhodo,
ban jaao meri spouse!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arz kiya hai- jis bus mein baithi ho haseenaaye,
Us bus ke shishe chatak jaate hai,
Driver chahe jitni tej chalaye,
Dewaane fir bhi latak jaate hain.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arz kiya hai..
ishq karne se pehle iska anjaam dekh lo,
Agar phir bhi samajh na aaye, to film tere naam dekh lo.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arz hai…
Aap hamare dil mein base ho. . . . . . . .
Aap hamare dil mein base ho… Wah wah
thoda side ho jaao saans lene waale pipe mein fase ho.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arj kiya hai.
Delhi ki garmi se hai skin meri jali, wah wah gaur kijiyega,
delhi ki garmi se hai skin meri jali, Chura ke dil mera goriya chali.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arj kiya hai,
yu na kisi ke dil se khelo, wah wah..
Yu na kisi ke dil se khelo,
jab sms hi nahi karna hai,
to phone bechkar radio hi le lo.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rin lagaaya aur daag gaya wah wah,
rin lagaaya aur daag gaya,
Abhijeet, Daya lagta hai,
khooni bhaag gaya.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ab hum aapke raste mein kabhi nahi ayenge.
Hume pata hai aap hume kaat khayenge,
hum to hai bahut hi gareeb aadmi, 14 injection kahan se lagwaenge.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Father –
Beta zara Apna Mobile To Dena
Son –
G Abu h 1 Min Abhi On kar ke Deta Hun
G.F Pic Delete
Girls List Delete
Phone Calls Recieved Delete
Delete
Delete
Delete
Memory Card Format
Son –
Ye Lein Abu
Father –
Bass Time Dekhna Tha tum khud He Bata Do
Son-
ap na acha ni kiya ABaaaa..
Pagal,
chinese se – kya tum American ho?
Chinese – nhi, main Chinese hun
Pagal – nhi tum American ho.
Chinese – nhi,
main chinese hun
Pagal – nhi tum american ho.
Chinese ghuse se – haan haan main American hun.
.
.
Pagal – Shakal se to Chinese lagte ho
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pappu ka beta –
Papa agar aapko 1000 aur 100 ka note rastey me para mily to aap konsa note uthao gy???
.
.
Pappu – 1000 ka..
.
Beta – Is liye aap pr joke bante hain..
Dono bhi to utha sakty ho..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Doctor – Tum Shadi Shuda Ho?
Patient : Han Hamara Shadi Aurat Se Hua Hai
Doctor : Bewaqoof Kya Mard Se Bhi Hota Hai
Patient : Han Hamara behen Ka Huwa Hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Teacher:
15 fruits k naam batao
.
Pathan: amrood
.
Teacher:
shabash
.
Pathan: mango
.
Teacher: gud
pathan: apple
.
Teacher
very gud 3 ho gay
Ab 12 reh gay
.
Pthan
ek darjan kelay..
Techer.
lakh di lanat e. Begherat.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pathan Cycle pe apni bhen ke sath ja raha tha,
.
Kisi ne aawaz lagai mehbOoba kO ghuma rahe hO?
.
Phr wOhi hua jis ka dar tha.
.
.
.
.
.
Pathan:-
“jOsh se bOla kameeny mehboOba hOgi teri
meri tO bahen hai…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 Pathan Ko 100
Rupee Miley.
‘5, Star Hotel
Mein Gaya Or
Order Diya.
1=Biryani,
1=Haleem,
1=Peace Broast,
1=Chicken Tikka
1=Malai Boti.
Or
1=Lab-E-Sheereen.
Pait Bhar K
Khana Khaya.tongue emoticon
Phr Rs.5000 Ka
Bill Aagaya.
Us Ny Manager
Sy Kaha Paisy
Nhi Hen.
Manager Ny
US KO Police Ky
Hawaly Kr Diya.
Pathan Ny
Police Waly KO
‘100, Rupy Diye
Or Choot Gya.
Ye Hy ‘2015’ Ka
Aqalmand Pathan.
IS KO Kehty Hen.
Financial
Manag
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ladki:- Agar main mar jau to tum
kya karoge..??
.
.
.
Ladka:- Main bhi mar jaunga..!!
.
.
.
Ladki (romanticaly) : Par kyu..??
.
.
.
.
Ladka:- tere chakkar me udhari
itni ho gayi hai ki jeena mushkil
hai..!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Man: Doctor sb koyi lambi umar ka tareeqa bato?
Dr: Shadi ker lo.
Man: Kia shadi sae umar lambi ho jaye gi?
Dr: Nahi ye shouq khatam ho jaye ga.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Police ne Ek sharabi ko pkra
Phir ek Gadhay ke agey Pani or sharab ki Baalti rakhi…….
Gadha Pani Pi gaya, Sharab na pi.
.
Polic Ne Sharabi se poocha:Tu ne is se kia seekha
.
.
.
.
Sharabi :…Jo sharab nahi pita … woh Gadha hota hai…!
Police: Pao ais kanjar nu LAMA ..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wada kiya tha deepika se.
Lekin todna pada supriya se.
Jab yeh pta chala neha ko.
Toh usne keh diya niharika se.
Par main baat karuga sirf ankita se.
Or,
Milunga
Jyoti se.
Plz koi mat kehna kajal se.
Ki main pyaar karta hu divya se.
Warna yeh khel khatam ho jayega or,
Milna padega shivangi se.
Lekin yeh baat tum bhi nahi jante ki main
milta hu monika se.
Or shadi karunga sirf
Mummy ki psand se….
Doctor:Tabiyat kaisi Hy?
Pathan: Pehle Se Ziada kharab Hy
Dr: Dawai khali Thi?
Pathan: Khali Nahi Thi Bhari Hui Thi
Dr:I Mean, Dawai Le Li Thi?
Pathan: G Ap Hi Se To Li Thi.
Dr:Bewaqoof Dawai Peeli Thi?
Pathan:Nain G Dawai Neeli Thi.
Dr:Aby Gadhey Dawai ko Pee Lia tha?
Pathan:Nain G Peliya to Mujhe Tha
Dr:Ullu k pathe
Dawai ko khol k Muon me Rkh Liya tha?
Pathan:Ni Ap Ne He to kha tha k Frij me Rkhna
Dr:Abey kia Maar khaye Ga?
Pathan:Nahi Dwai khaun Ga
Dr:Nikal Salay Tu pagal kar Dy Ga
Pathan:Ja Rha Hoon phir kab Aon?
Dr:Kyamat k Bad
Pathan:Kyamat k kitny Din Bad?
Dr:Behosh
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
From:- Nitendra Nittu Wo jab chalti hai to raah me 100 ke note bicha deta hu,
Wo jab chalti hai to raah me 100 ke note bicha deta hu, Aur uske jaane ke baad
Sab utha leta hu
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Wo Kehti Hai Phone Na Kiya Kro DEAR
Mama Hoti Hai NEAR
Papa Se Lgta Hai FEAR
Baat Nhi Hoti CLEAR
Dewaro Ke Bhi Hote Hy EAR
Is Liye FB use Karo DEAR..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Main Aur mere roommates
aksar Yeh Baatain Karte Hain
Ghar saaf hota to kaisa hota
Main kitchen saaf karta, tum bathrooom dhote
main hall saaf karta, tum balcony dekhte
Log is baat pe hairaan hote
aur us baat pe haste….
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Muje Peene Ka Shok Nahi,
Par Jab Bhi Peeta hu,
Na Jaane Sigrate Ke Dhuve me,
Uski Tasveer Kaise Ban Jati Hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Student to God
हज़ारो की किस्मत तेरे हाथ थी
अगर पास कर देता तो क्या बात थी?
God –
गर्लफ्रेंड थोड़ी कम बनता तो क्या बात थी?
किताबे तो सारी तेरे पास थी !!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ankhon se barsaat hoti hain
Jab apki yaad saath hoti hai,
Jab bhi busy rahe mera cell to
Samajh lena aapki hone wali Bhabhi se meri baat hoti hain
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kisi k pass
yo yo honey singh
ka number hai kya
Wo kehta rehta tha
pass kara du,
phone ghuma du
..
..
..
Exams sar pe hai
No. jaruri hain yaar
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Girl- पापा एक Important बात थी
Father-बोलो
Girl- मैं एक लड़के से प्यार करती हूँ
पर बो America मे रहता हैं
. website में हमारी जान पहचान हुई
. Facebook में दोस्ती हुई
.Skype में उसने मुझे propose किया
. Whatsapp में हम लोग दो महीने से प्यार कर रहें हैं
Father – really
तो अब
. Twitter में शादी करो
. Make my trip में हनीमून करो
. Flip kart से बच्चा मंगवालो
. Gmail में receive करलो
Last में
.अगर Husband अच्छा न लगे तो Olx में sell कर दो
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
कौन कमबख्त कहता है, लड़के सोचते कम हैं .
.
.
.
.
.
. लड़की एक बार मुस्करा कर तो देखे शेरवानी के रंग से लेकर बच्चों तक के नाम सोच लेते हैं।
Zindagi Ke Har Pal Khusi Se Bitao
Chahe Duniya Walo Tmhe Pagal Awara Kyo Na Bole
Bus Ek Bat Hmesa Yad Rakhna
Zindagi Na Milega Dobara
Hahahahahahaha
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Teacher- wo kaun sa jagah hai, jaha ladkiya kam ni kar skti hai.,
Student- FIRE BRIGADE..
Teachar- Why.
Student- inka kam aag lgana hai, bujhana ni……
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sir – Samajh tujhe 10 laddu diye..
.
Student – Mujhe.. ???
.
.
Sir – Samajh na tere baap ka kya jata hai… Usme se 5 laddu maine le liye to
tere pass kitne bache..??
Student – 20
Sir – Kaise.. ??
.
.
Student – Samajh na tere baap ka kya jaata hai…
Teacher shocked Student rocked!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boy – Hello , Pammi darling… kaisi
ho ?
Girl : Who’s
this ?
Boy : Tera
aashiq hun; jaaneman !!.
Girl – Tu Bunty hai
na…
Boy – Yes; but how do you
know ?
Girl – Tu Bansilal ka beta hai na……
Boy – Yes but how you know me ??
Girl : Tu Ramlal ka pota hai na…..
Boy – Yes !!
but
jaanu, tumhe ye sab kaise pata….? Girl – Bunty Haramkhor kutte, mai
teri
Maa hun !!..Tune ‘Pummi’ ko nahi,
Mummi ko phone lagaya hai!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Doctor – Aapka Aur Aapki Biwi Ka Blood Group Ek Hi Hai?
Rogy – Jarur Hoga 25 Saal Se Mera Khoon Jo Pee Rahi Hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1 pagal – main is mental hospital me naya hu muje pagalo ke guru se milna hai
2nd pagal
ssshh ………chup……!
Aawaj mat karo guruji abhi message kar rahe hai….
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beta Ramprasad Tum Ye Pani Ki Balti Lekar Kaha Ja Rahe Ho,
Mein Pedo Ko Water Dene Ja Raha Hu,
Lakin Bahar To Baarish Hai Na Beta,
Isliye Hi To Me Chata Lekar Ja Raha Hu…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Boy – Movie Chalo..
Girl – Nahi.. Wahan Tum Mujhe Touch Karoge…
Boy – Nahi Karunga…
Girl – Mera Haath Pakdoge…
Boy – Nahi Pakdunga..
Girl:” Mujhe Kiss Karoge..
Boy – Nahi Karunga..
Girl – Toh Fir Mujhe Kyu Le Ke Ja Raha Hai Dhakkan,
Apni Behen Ke Saath Hi Chale Ja..!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Girlfriend Romantic Mood Main- Aaj Mere Ghar Koi Nahi Hai Aa Jao?
Santa:- Tu Mere Ghar Aja Pgli, Mere Ghar Sb Log Hai Tera Man Laga Rahega.
A Man Asks Sardarji
Why Manmohan Is Singh Goes Walking At Evening & Not In The Morning?
Sardarji Replied; Arrey Bai Manmohan Is Pm Not Am
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jo Dete Hai Girl Ko Tohfe
Whi Lgate Hai Unki Shadi Me Sofe
Jo Jate Hai Un Ke Piche
Wo Ate Hai Caro Ke Niche
Jo Khte Hai Unko Janu
Whi Bante Hai Unke Bacho Ke Mamu. .
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Teacher 2 Boy – Sabse Jyada Izzat Kiske Pass Hai?
Boy – sir Gulshan Glover,ranjeet,aur deny Ke Pass
Teacher – Kaise
Boy: Kyoki Filmo Me Sabse Jyada Izzat Inhone Hi Luti Hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
2 Lovers Ke Beech Fight Ho Rahi Thi:
Gf: Kamine!main Tere Kapde Faad Dungi.
Bf: Dekh Ab Tu Serious Ladai Mein Romantic Baat Mat Kar.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Santa Ka Ek Buddha Padosi Accident Me Mar Gaya
Woh Uske Ghar Gaya Aur Poocha
Body Aagayi Kya?
Tabhi Body Lekar Ambulance Aa Gayi
Santa Bola
Ye Lo! Uncle Ki Badi Lambi Umar Hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yaaro Ki Mehfil Aise Jamai Jati Hai
Kholane Se Pehle Botal Hilaayi Jati Hai
Fir Awaz Lgayi Jati Hai
Aa Jao Tute Dil Walo
Yaha Dard-e-dil Ki Dawa Pilayi Jati Hai!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aati Thi Jaathi Thi,
Hansti Thi Hansati Thi.
Bhagati Thi Bhagaati Thi,
Bolti Thi Bulwati Thi Per Aaj Pata Chala Ki
Mujhe Rakhi Bandhana Chahati Thi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Golu To Rickshawala – Are O Bhai Khali Ho
Kya.
Rickshawala: Ha Bilkul Khali Hu.
Golu: Chalo Fir Tash Khelte Hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
एक खूबसूरत लडकी बस स्टैंड पर
खडी थी | एक नौजवान बोला- चांद
तो रात में निकलता हैं , आज दिन में कैसे
निकल आया ? लडकी बोली अरे उल्लू तो रात
को बोलता था , आज दिन में कैसे बोल
रहा हैं |
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Santa: Yaar! Main jo bhi kaam shuru krta hoon meri biwi beech mein aa jaati hai.
Banta :- Tu Truck chala kar dekh, shayad kismat sath de de.
Sardar: Beta do bistar kuun lagaaye hai?
Son: Ghar pe do guest aa rahe hain.
Sardar: Kaun?
Son: Mummy ka bhai aur mera Mama
Sardar: Phir ek aur bitar laga le, mera sala bhi aa raha hai..
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kitne kamzor ho gaye hai hum aapki judaai se,
ki machchar uthaa le jate hai mujhe chaarpaai se.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sms na karne walo ke liye
Song….
Agar tum mil jao, to taange
Tod denge hum
Tumhe paa kar
Tumhare peeche
Kutte ch~or denge
Hum
Bas.! Tum mil to jaao…! Ha
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Hum Aise Aashik Hain Jo Gulab Ko Kamal
Bana Denge,
Uski Har Adaa Pa~r Ghazal Bana Denge..
Agar Wo Aa Jayegi Mere Jindgi Me,
To Reliance Ki Kasam London Me Bhi
Tajmahal Bana Denge…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CID returns
CID ne Sony se naata jod liya…
CID ne Sony se naata jod liya…
jis room me mana raha tha abhijeet suhagraat, Daya ne uska darwaja bhi tod diya!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mali ne phulo ko khas bnaya
pholo ne khusbu ko khas bnaya
khusbu ne mohbt ko khas bnaya
mohbt ko ldkiki ~ne khas bnaya
or
ladki ne na jane kitno ko devdas banaya
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Yeh exam ke rishte bhi ajeeb hote hai,
Sab apne apne naseeb hote hai,
Rahte hai jo nigaho se duur,
Saale wahi question compulsary hote hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Grl: Koun Ho Tum,
Boy: Hasrat Tumhari,
G: Chahte Kya Ho
B: Mohbat Tumhari
G: Pachtaoge Tum
B: Kismt Hmari
G: Maried Hu M
Boy: To Pahle Hi Bak Deti Manhus Nari..,
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Khuda kare kisi ko mohabbat me judai na mile
Kabhi bhi kisi ko ishq mein bewafayi na mile
Aur jo meri iss post ko padh kar bi Like na kare
Usko thand mein kab~hi rajayi naa mile…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
एक लड़की स्वर्ग मे गयी और
यमराज से बोली :
मेरी शादी किसी US ke
लड़के से करवा दो..
यमराज : सब्र करले बेटी पहले USके
किसी लड़के को स्वर्ग मे तो आने दे.
आज तक तो कोई आया नहीं।
सुधर जाओ,
कमीनो बात उपर तक पहुच गयी
2 dost safar pe ja rahe the
raat hogyi 2ono tent lga kar so gye
1 dost ki adhi raat ko nind khuli usne dusare ko jaga ke bola- Tujhe Asman ki taraf kya dikhta hai?
.
Dusra-Bahut sare Tare!
.
Pahla-Isse kya pta chalta hai?
.
Dusra-yahi ki Asman kitna khubsurat hai!
.
Pahla-Abe Newton ~ki aulad Tent chori hogya!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aaj ki Ladki
.
.
.
Girl – mera mobile zada time meri
mom k paas hota hai ..
.
.
.
Boy-agr hum pakde gaye to ,.?
.
.
.
Girl -nahi pakde ja sakte
Boy-kyun??
.
.
.
Girl– kyunki maine tumhara
number battery low ke naam se
save kiya hua hai
.
.
.
jab tumhari call ati hai mumy
mobile charging par lga kar chali jati hai.. !!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Har taraf padhai ka~ saya hai,
kitabo me sukh kaun paya,
ladke to jate hain tution ladkiyan dekhne,
aur sir kehte hain dekho itna Barsatme ladka Padhne aya hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kon kehta hai HAWA Free ki hoti hai ?
Kabi LAYS ka 10 rupay wala
chips khareed k dekho,
usmey 7rupay ki HAWA aur
3rupay K chips hote hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ek admi Nadi main dub raha tha,
Bola:GANESHJI bachao!
GANSHJI sune or nachne lage!
Admi:Aap nach kyu rahe hai?
GANSHJI:Mere Visarjan me tu bhi bahut nach raha tha!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
jindagi ka naam hai dosti yaaro,
jindagi ki shaam hai dosti yaaro.
chhupa lo yadi tum isse apne palko pe to,
to hai sabse hasi ~khwaab dosti yaro
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lo ji
Arj kiya h………
.
.
.
. .
.
.
.
Duniya me bhut dard-e-tanhai hai………:
. .
.
.
.
.
. Yr frnds like to karo itni mehnat se post
churai h…………
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BOY to GIRL : “Look Into my eyes, What do
u
see…?
.
.
GIRL: True Love !!…
.
.
.
.
BOY : O Juliet Ki MAAA.. Kuch Aankh
Mein Chala
Gaya Hai Jaldi Nikaal.~.Mar Jaunga!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Teacher : Tumhare Abbu kya kaam karte hai?
Student : UPS Company k maalik hai.
Teacher : Nice,
Acha ye UPS ka kya matlab hai?
Student ; Usman Pakora Shop…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dad to Son – Son Why do
you look so upset ?
.
.
Son – I Can not tell you Dad.
.
Dad – Treat me as ~your
friend.
.
.
.
.
.
Son – Yaar kal date par kiss kya kar li,
teri bhabhi naraaz ho gayi
hai..!!
इंसान:- भगवान लड़कियां हमेशा प्यारी होती हैं, पर बीवी क्यों इतनी खतरनाक होती है
भगवान:- क्योंकि लड़कियां मै बनाता हूँ
और
उन्हें बीवी तुम बनाते हो,
तुम्हारी समस्या।
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
BOYS POEM Mohabbat to kisi ek se karunga..
Ho saka, to kisi nek se karunga..
Lekin jab tak na milegi,wo nek ladki ..
TRY to har ek ko~ karunga.
har ek boy kamina hota h.par bahut acha hota h
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
गब्बर: कितने आदमी थे?
सांभा: सरदार दो।
गब्बर: मुझे गिनती नहीं आती, दो कितने होते हैं?
सांभा: सरदार दो, एक के बाद आता है।
गब्बर: और दो के पहले?
सांभा: दो के पहले एक आता है सरदार।
गब्बर:तो बीच में कौन आता है?
सांभा: बीच में कोई नहीं आता सरदार।
गब्बर: तो फिर दोनों एक साथ क्यों नहीं आते?
सांभा: एक के बाद ही दो आ सकता है क्योंकि दो, एक से बड़ा है सरदार।
गब्बर: दो, एक से कितना बड़ा है।
सांभा: दो, एक से एक बड़ा है सरदार।
गब्बर:अगर दो, एक से एक बड़ा है तो एक, एक से कितना बड़ा है?
सांभा: सरदार अब~ आप मुझे गोली ही मार दो मैंने आप नमक ही खाया है च्यवनप्राश नही।
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Beta: Papa apki shaadi ho gayi?
Papa: Haan.
Beta: Kis se hui?
Papa: Bewkuf teri mummy se..
Beta: Wah papa ghar main hi setting kar li.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MAA-Beta Apple Khaoge,
BETA-Nahi
MAA-Beta Mengo Khaoge,
BETA-Nahi
MAA-Beta Orange Khaoge,
BETA-Nahi
MAA-Bilkul Baap Par Gaya Hai,
Chappal Hi Khayega.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Husband : mujhe
neend nahi aa rahi hai
Wife : jao jaakar
bartan saaf kar do
Husband : neend me
bol raha hun pagli
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ladki:- Agar main mar jau to tum
kya karoge..??
..
Ladka:- Main bhi mar jaunga..!!
.
.Ladki (romanticaly) : Par kyu..??
.
..Ladka:- tere chakkar main udhari
itni ho gayi hai ki j~eena mushkil
hai..!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ek Girl ne 1 chote se bacche k gaal pe kiss kiya…
.
.
.
GIRL-Oh sorry,
tumhare gaal me lipstick lag gai..
.
.
.
.
.
Baccha- Kuch accha karne se,
agar daag lagte h to daag achE hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Girl: Kyu Ro Rahe Ho
.
.
Me: Mene AaJ Tak Kisi Ladki Ko Kiss Nahi Kiya
.
.
Girl: Ro Mat Mujhe Kiss Karle
.
After Kiss
.
.
Girl: Ab Itna Hass Kyu Rahe Ho
.
.
Me: Mene ese hi Ro-Ro Ke Sare
Mohalle Ki Ladkiyo Ko Kiss Kiya
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
ट्विंकल ट्विंकल ~लिटल स्टार.
तेरी गर्लफ्रेंड गयी बाज़ार ..
उसको मिल गया दूसरा यार
उसके साथ वो हो गयी फरार
अब तू बैठ के मक्खियां मार
मैं ही हूँ वो कमीना यार
Jailer- Suna hai tum Shayar ho..Kuch sunaao yaar
.
.
.
… .
.
.
..
.
Qaidi- “Gum-e-Ulfat me
jo zindgi kati Hamari.
Jis Din zamaanat hui
zindgi khatam Tumhari.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Dedicated to All Students …….. :
Dil tod shayari:
Koyle k khan se ~Hira kaise nikalu
wah wah…
Koyle k khan se Hira kaise nikalu
Gaur farmaiyega ki koyle k khan se hira kaise nikalu
.
..
.
INTERNAL me hi fail hu,
To SALA semester kaise sambhalu…??:p
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Child : Mom isbar hum sare patake is shop se lenge.
Mom : lekin beta ye toh girls hostel hai.
Child : Papa to kehte hai ki sari phuljadiya yahi raheti hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
लोग कहते है सहेली और हवेली
आसानी से नही बनती………!
हम कहते है बँदे मे दम होना चाहिए!
सहेली फोन पे और हवेली लोन पे
बन ही जाती है……..! tongue.png grin.png
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Patient Doctor ko bola –> Doctor Sahab Mujhe Dur Ka Nazar Nahi ata hai..
Doctor na kaha– > Wo Asmaan Par Kia Hai?
Mareez –> wo Suraj hai
Doctor > Aabay andhay is s e duur kia khudha ko dekhaga keya..!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Achii aur buri biwi mein kya farq hai?
Answer: Kya matlab?
Biwiyaan achii bhi hoti hai kya?!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aapko humse ~kabhi khone nahi denge,
aapko mujh se alag hone nahi denge,
kabhi sms bhi kar dia kro warna,
aankh mein mirchi dal denge aur dhone bhi nahi denge
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arj kiya hai, yu na kisi k dil se khelo,
yu na kisi ke dil se khelo,
jab sms hi nahi karna hai to,
phone bechkar Radio hi lelo…
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Arz kia hai,
Gaur farmaiye~ :p
Hasino ko apna dil na dena,
Dil ke jazbat ye kya janegi
Kandhe ka Dupatta to sambhalta nahi,
Hamara DIL kya GHANTA Sambhalegi!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Baadal Garza Shor K Sath
Barish Hui Zor K Sath
Zara Dhayan Rakhna Apni GirlFrnd Ka
Kahin Bhag Na Jaye Kisi Or K Sath.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Phoolo Ke Phool He Hum,
Mehfil Ki Ronak He Hum,
Khubsurto Me Khubsurt He Hum,
Panga To Leke Dikhao
Is duniya ke
Rawdy Rathod ~He Hum,,”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Zindgi apni masti mai jiya kro,
Ishq bahut bura hai na kiya karo,
Tum apna pura dhyan carrier par mod do,
Ishq aur apne girlfriend ko
Mujh par chor do :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pyar karne ki apni 1 reet
hai…
Pyaar ka dusra naam hi to
Preet hai.
Isliye Try maro har Ladki
par…
Kyunki
.
Darr ke aage Jeet hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Baith-kar mehboo~ba ki baaho me aisa josh
aaya.. .
.
.
Wah!
Wah!
Wah!!
Wah!!
.
.
Baith-kar mehbooba ki baaho me aisa josh
aaya…
Phirrrrr…?
Phir kya.!
?
?
Biwi ne dekh liya aur ICU me hosh aaya…
hehehhehehe ab karo wah wah
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jailer: Suna Hain Tum Shayar Ho, Kuch
Sunaao Yaar..!
.
.
Qaidi: “Gum-E-~Ulfat Mein Jo Zindgi Kati
Hamari.
Jis Din Zamaanat Hui, Zindgi Khatam
Tumhari….. :P :D
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pappu Ne Ladki Dekh Ke Arz Kiya
.
Tere Smile Mein Kya Chamak
Hai..
.
Wah Wah
.
Tere Smile Mein Kya Chamak
Hai ????
.
Ladki Boli
.
Bhaiya Yahi T~ou Baat Hai
Mere Toothpste Mein NAMAK
Hai…. 😀
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Likhy Jo~ Khat Tujhy
Wo Teri Yaad Me
Wo Sare Padh Liye
Papa Ne Raat Main
Sawera Jab Hua Tou
Jootey Parr Gaye
Wo Raadhe Wale Baal
Ghajni Me Badla Gaye :P
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Teri adao pe mein vari vari,
Dial 139 for Railway inquiry…।
2. Naa jeene ki aarzoo, naa marne ka khuaaff
The number you are trying is currently switch off..।
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Aapki baatoon pe dil haaru
WAH! WAH!
Aapki surat pe jaan waaru
WAH! WAH!
Jis din nahi~ aati aapkao humari yaad
dil karta hai aapko
patak-patak ke maru!
waahh waaahhh!! kya baat kya baat!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Lamha –lamha ~waqt gujar jayega,
Chand lamho me exam aa jayega,
Abhi bhi waqt hai do line pad lo,
Warna pass kya tumhara sasur karvayega
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Mujhe dekh mushkurathi thi
kabhi khidki to kabhi chhat par nazar aati thi
kuchh kahna tha shayad usko
aaj pata chala sali pagal thi aur mujhe bhi pagal samajhti thi
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
दोस्ती करो BSNL वाली से
प्यार करो IDEA वाली से.
बात करो airtel वाली से.
आँख लड़ाओ vodafone वाली से.
पर दोस्तो
शादी करना बिना मोबाइल वाली से.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Girls Should Agree With this..
.
.
Boy Friend Jaisa Bhi Ho,,
Awara, ~Pagal,
Deewana, Luchha,
Lafanga, Kamina,
.
.
.
.
.
Lekin, Jab ~Uska Message Aata Hai To…
.
.
.
Chehre Pe Ajeeb Si Smile Aati Hai..
.
.
Aur Ladki Ko Ehsaas Hota Hai
Ke “Tedha Hai Par Mera Hai”..
..
Hahaha Agree ??
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ek Bachcha Park mein Bench pe betha tha
aur 1 k bad 1 Toffee kha raha tha.
.
Pas bethi 1 Aunty boli : Jyada
meetha khane wale jaldi mar jate hai.
.
Boy : Aap ko malum hai meri Dadi
ki age 106 Saal thi.
.
Aunty : Wo meetha~ kam khati hongi.
.
.
Boy : Nahi…!!! Wo apne Kaam se
Kaam rakhti thi
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
दोस्त कम रखता हू । सीने मे अपने दम रखता हू
माना कि औकात अपनी सीफॅ आम
आदमी कि हे
पर सलाम तो कमिशनर ~के बाप से भी करवा ने कि हींमत रखता हू ।
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Funny-Sms-On-Roz-Ki-Baat
Aap ko Miss ~karna roz ki baat hai,
Aap ko yaad karna aadat ki baat hai.
Aap se door rehna kismat ki baat hai,
Magar aap ko jhelna himmat ki baat hai…
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